


L'onde d'espoir

by steolftero



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Beauxbatons, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, Blood, Dark Magic, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Murder, Minor Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Missing Persons, Nosebleed, Sangst (san x angst), Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, The amount of cuddles is as big as the amount of sangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:53:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 151,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26120695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steolftero/pseuds/steolftero
Summary: Feel, in the heart of the nightThe wave of hopeEager passion of lifeGlory pathChildhood joysForgotten so soonA golden light shines endlesslyAt the end of the path.Sadness filled San's eyes as a small, tired smile climbed on his lips. The lyrics were fitting. His childhood happiness was gone ; it probably disappeared years ago, taken away from him when he couldn't do anything to fight for it.But here was where the song was wrong : there was no light for them. Nothing was shining. Nothing could save them.There was no hope.(Posting every Friday !)
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 162
Kudos: 264





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome !
> 
> This fic will be long so please read this note, it's important ! I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
> 
> 1\. I'll use some terms that you may not be familiar with if you don't know Harry Potter's universe well. I'll put a small definition in the note every time an unknown word is important. If there is no definition it means it's not so significant but you can search it up if you want !
> 
> 2\. They are all aged down and the hyung line is two years older than the 99 line.
> 
> 3\. English is not my mother tongue ; every chapter will be beta read but not the author's notes, so I apologize in advance for the ugly mistakes you will probably see.
> 
> 4\. Also, I would never want to write anything offensive or problematic. If I do, it means I'm not aware of it so please please please send me a DM on twitter or tumblr (steolftero on both) so I can fix it.
> 
> And I think that's it !  
> Enjoy ♥

**_Vois sur ton chemin_ **

_Look out on your path_

**_Gamins oubliés, égarés,_ **

_Lost, forgotten children_

**_Donne leur la main pour les mener_ **

_Take them by the hand_

**_Vers d'autres lendemains_ **

_To lead them to other tomorrows_

**_Sens au coeur de la nuit_ **

_Feel, in the heart of the night_

**_L'onde d'espoir_ **

_The wave of hope_

**_Ardeur de la vie_ **

_Eager passion of life_

**_Sentier de gloire_ **

_Glory path_

**_Bonheurs enfantins_ **

_Childhood joys_

**_Trop vite oubliés_ **

_Forgotten so soon_

**_Une lumière dorée brille sans fin_ **

_A golden light shines endlessly_

**_Tout au bout du chemin_ **

_At the end of the path._

San didn't know why the song came to his mind. It was such a faraway memory.

The melody came from one of his wooden music boxes, the one he liked to keep hidden under his bed. It was a beautiful box in dark wood with golden ornament elegantly decorating the top. The inside was lined in burgundy velvet, an empty space in the middle to keep the most precious treasures of childhood hidden.

But little San didn't need to hide anything. He didn't have any treasures. The melody though, that was what he wanted to keep forever. He would listen to it every night, closing his eyes, imagining a life he didn't have, exploring a universe that didn't exist for him. With his eyes closed, listening to the peaceful melody, he could be anyone, could do anything.

But one day, the melody stopped. The music box disappeared. Snatched away from his hands, his favorite escape from reality was taken away for him. The melody started to fade, becoming a sad memory, a fading thought.

Until his brother came and sang it for him. With lyrics.

_“I learned it from grandma,” Seonghwa said, smiling brightly. “It's the same as your music box right? I asked her if she knew the melody and she sang it to me.”_

_The warm smile never left his brother’s face as he ruffled San’s blond hair. The perfect opposite of Seonghwa’s raven locks._

_“Let's learn it together !”_

_“It's a very sad song,” San commented, pursing his lips to form a little pout._

_“Do you think so ?”_

_His brother frowned a bit and tilted his head, thinking. After a few seconds, he shook his head, black strands falling on his forehead. He looked at San with shining eyes._

_“Well, I don't.”_

_He came a bit closer, lowering his voice in an almost whisper._

_“It's hope, San. It's a song full of hope.”_

A nostalgic smile formed at the corner of San's lips. It was a good memory, one he wanted to cherish for as long as possible. A memory nobody could ever take away from him.

San turned his head to look at the only other person in the carriage. Seonghwa was sitting in front of him, his peaceful gaze grazing the infinite sea of clouds out of the window. His raven hair had grown a bit over the years but he didn’t let it fall on his forehead anymore. Now, every lock was perfectly pulled back in a neat way, enhancing the strong features of his face. From his all-white clothes to his perfect makeup, everything was organized and meticulously done. He was breathtaking. Perfect looking.

Too perfect.

San sighed, tearing his eyes away from Seonghwa. Looking at him was hurtful. Painful. A sad reminder that something had changed, that their lives couldn't go in the same way as they were until then. Peaceful, warm.

_Hopeful._

San missed his brother. He missed him more than anything in the world.

**_Bonheurs enfantins_ **

_Childhood joys_

**_Trop vite oubliés_ **

_Forgotten so soon_

**_Une lumière dorée brille sans fin_ **

_A golden light shines endlessly_

**_Tout au bout du chemin_ **

_At the end of the path._

Sadness filled San's eyes as a small, tired smile climbed on his lips. The lyrics were fitting. Yes, here stopped his childhood happiness. It probably disappeared years ago, taken away from him when he couldn't do anything to fight for it. Gone.

But here was where the song was wrong: there was no light for them. Nothing was shining. Nothing could save them.

There was no hope.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in San's memory is "Vois sur ton chemin" from the French movie "Les Choristes".
> 
> See you on Monday !  
> Twitter & Tumblr : @steolftero


	2. September : Week 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some important definitions (from wikia) :
> 
> Purebloods : It's the term for wizarding families who claim to have no Muggles or Muggle-borns in their family tree.  
> (In this fic : Seonghwa, Yunho, Yeosang, San, Wooyoung, Jongho)
> 
> Muggles : Non-magic people
> 
> Muggle-borns : Witches and wizards who are born to two non-magical parents.  
> (In this fic : Hongjoong, Mingi)
> 
> Less important :
> 
> Floo Network : The Floo Network was a mode of wizarding transportation in which a witch or wizard went from one place to another by means of Floo Powder and a fireplace.
> 
> Vanishing Cabinet : A pair of Vanishing Cabinets will act as a passage between two places. If an object was placed in one, it will appear in the other.
> 
>   
> Enjoy 🖤

**Twelve years ago**

“ _Please, stop. I know this isn’t going to end well.”_

“ _Please, stop breaking the mood.”_

“ _San...” Seonghwa sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration._

_He looked tired, and Jongho couldn’t blame him. San could be the most annoying person ever when he wanted, and Seonghwa had to deal with his stubborn personality since he was born eight years ago. Jongho would never stop being impressed by his everlasting patience._

“ _Come on it’ll be fun ! Look ! It’s super strong !”_

_San was pulling on the rope with all his force to prove his point, the thick string staying firmly in one piece, attached to the large branch of a tree._

_Unfortunately for him, it didn't seem to be enough to persuade his brother because he didn’t look impressed. At all. Hands on his hips, he was now watching San with a severe look in his eyes that made Jongho shiver a little. Seonghwa was scary sometimes, especially when he was mad or about to scold one of them as he was at this moment._

“ _San. I said no. It’s dangerous.”_

_Contrary to Jongho who was trying to stay as silent and invisible as possible, San didn’t seem the least afraid of his big brother. He stuck out his tongue in Seonghwa's direction and kept his two hands firmly on the rope._

_Now a bit panicked by the situation unfolding in front of him, Jongho looked at Seonghwa with wide eyes. San was really stupid._

_But of course, someone was even more stupid._

_Coming to stand next to San, Yunho put his two hands on the rope as well, a wild smile on his face._

“ _Hwa come on ! It’s so cool we could be like Tarzan ! I’m sure it’s super safe !”_

_Jongho had no idea who this Tarzan was supposed to be but he could guess he was probably the character of some Muggle movie. Yunho was obsessed with them. Or maybe he was just spitting nonsense, which was a big possibility too. Jongho loved his big brother but he tended to speak before thinking more often than not. Like now, just when Seonghwa was undoubtedly starting to fume._

_Jongho put his head in his hands, not wanting to see what would happen next. Stupid Yunho._

_A tensed silence settled then. Yunho and San next to the rope, Seonghwa in front of them, imperturbable. Jongho somewhere in the middle, trying to stay as far away from this altercation as possible. The three older boys were so strongly engaged in a glaring contest Jongho would have laughed at their funny faces if he wasn’t so scared of the outcome._

_Eventually Seonghwa, mature, calm Seonghwa, gave up. With a long, heavy sigh, he let his arms fall to his sides and nodded._

“ _Okay. But please be careful, I don’t want to explain to Yunho’s dad that his son has to go to the hospital today._ Again _.”_

_He said his last word with a pointed stare in Yunho’s direction and Yunho had the decency to look sheepish. Next to him, San was now screaming in victory, bouncing on his feet. He jumped into his brother’s arms to hug him._

“ _Thank you, Hwa ! We’ll be careful, I promise ! You’re the best big brother ever !”_

“ _Hm excuse you, I am obviously the best big brother here. Right, Jongho ?” Yunho asked._

_Jongho purposely ignored his brother, making him pout for a total of two seconds before his big smile was back on his face. As San was still hugging his brother, Yunho settled himself into position with the rope, ready to go._

“ _Okay San, let’s do it !”_

_And the rest was what would later become one of their favorite memories. San and Yunho enjoyed their game, swinging on the rope and laughing loudly while Seonghwa watched them with a fond smile._

_The rope resisted, the branch didn’t._

_The two boys fell into the water and Seonghwa, who almost had a heart attack, scolded them so much his entire face became red and stayed so for long minutes._

_In the end, because San and Yunho were laughing way too much despite everything that happened, Seonghwa gave up again. The four of them ended up playing in the water until the sunset._

**Monday 31, August**

Wooyoung was 98% certain he had some nasty allergy to Floo Powder.

He was also 98% certain Yeosang was aware of his discomfort and chose to make his life miserable. His _best friend_ had insisted on coming to the meeting point through a Floo Network, as if there wasn’t a fancy Vanishing Cabinet in the middle of his spacious living-room, begging to be used. They could have even taken a fucking Portkey, Wooyoung didn’t care, as long as they could avoid anything Floo related.

But what did he expect ? He was best friends with a demon.

Yeosang didn’t even give him a proper excuse. He made his suggestion just as they were done saying their goodbyes to their parents, gave them his fakest innocent smile, and Wooyoung’s mom was out of the room in a second to prepare the powder. 

Now, Wooyoung was sneezing for the eighth time in a row, waiting for the traitor he referred to as his ‘best friend’ to arrive. He knew Yeosang was currently giving sweet words to Wooyoung's mom and promising he would take care of her son, all this fake talking he was so good at. Wooyoung’s mom adored Yeosang, and he could have understood her admiration for the seemingly perfect boy if he didn’t know better. Years of friendship made Wooyoung come to the conclusion Yeosang had been placed into his life with the sole reason to make him suffer.

Seeing his friend was taking his sweet time, Wooyoung took advantage of the sudden solitude to take in his surroundings.

The Floo Hallway hadn’t changed a bit since Wooyoung and Yeosang went home about nine months ago for winter break. Yeosang usually spent Christmas at school but the one time he went home, he managed to make them take the Floo Network once again. Wooyoung was so tired of him.

The Floo Hallway was a long corridor with a high ceiling and burgundy carpet. About twenty fireplaces were aligned along the wall, each separated by different statues of people Wooyoung had no clue about but were probably famous for something. Wooyoung knew the hallway was located in the middle of a castle but since the first time they discovered this place six years ago, they never took the time to visit its walls. Usually, both he and Yeosang were too eager to reach the meeting point, and to be honest, none of them really cared about castles. They knew enough of them already.

The place was filled with happy chatters from the few people coming in from the fireplaces, voices resonating onto the white walls and Wooyoung felt a bubble of excitement forming in his stomach.

They were back. They would be reunited with their friends soon.

If Yeosang could just stop being so fucking slow...

Just as Wooyoung scrunched his nose to let out his eleventh sneeze, a green cloud invaded the fireplace Wooyoung came from, the nasty color spreading everywhere on the immaculate walls. Luggage in hand, Yeosang stood in the middle of it all with his bright eyes and golden hair, an innocent smile on his face. He didn’t even flinch when the light dissipated and powder fell _everywhere_ but on him, taking a few steps forwards to exit the fireplace.

“You bastard,” Wooyoung growled as he followed his best friend in the Floo Hallway once he started walking. “You know I don’t deal well with Floo Powder.”

Yeosang’s smile didn’t waver and Wooyoung kind of wanted to punch him in the face. He would have done it if he wasn’t so busy trying to control his sniffles and if his hands weren’t already taken by his luggage. And because sneezes and watery eyes weren’t enough, he was also struggling to keep his hair away from his face. Wooyoung cursed under his breath as it kept falling into his eyes. If only he hadn’t forgotten to cut it before leaving. He wasn’t even sure school would allow such a hair length. 

Whatever.

“I do,” Yeosang chuckled. “How many times did you sneeze ? I hope you broke your record. Imagine if the count really is increasing every year ? That would be hilarious.”

Wooyoung’s answer didn’t seem pleasing for the delicate ears of the Beauxbatons students who overheard him, judging by their scandalous faces or the twitch of their eyebrows. Neither he nor Yeosang seemed to mind though. Wooyoung had spent all of his life swearing and Yeosang was an incredibly well-mannered insult machine. Beauxbatons would never be able to change that.

To Wooyoung’s delight, the fireplace they used wasn’t too far away from the entrance and they didn’t take long to exit the Floo Hallway. Wooyoung only crossed paths with unfamiliar faces so far, but he knew they would see people their age soon enough.

They took the stairs and crossed another corridor, empty of any people. Wooyoung noticed a few Vanishing Cabinets, one in each corner of the room, and he wasn’t surprised nobody ever came out from them. It was rare for students to come to the station with these cabinets, as not many families owned one. The more Wooyoung thought about Yeosang’s cabinet, the stronger his will to punch his best friend was.

They finally reached the massive double doors leading outside and when Yeosang opened them, Wooyoung’s eyes _burned_.

He had spent his entire morning in Yeosang’s room and it had rained all week, drowning the house in some grey atmosphere Wooyoung was used to. He hadn’t prepared himself to be attacked by the fucking sun so soon and needed some time to adjust his eyes to the brightness.

“Ew, people,” Yeosang complained. He had stopped walking too, probably just as surprised by the light as Wooyoung but of course, he managed to get a hold of himself faster.

When Wooyoung felt like he could open his eyes without fearing for his sight, he finally took a look at the scene spreading in front of them.

The first time Wooyoung came to the meeting point, it was to start his first day as a Beauxbatons student. Six years later, the place still looked the same.

Spreading in front of them was a huge square made of cobblestones, students walking and talking _everywhere_. There were tables here and there, covered with white tablecloths and filled with petit-fours and other fancy dishes. Maid-fairies were flying from student to student offering glasses of something that could only be apple juice and cute little bags of sugared almonds. The sight of the massive carriage that would bring them to school sent a wave of excitation through Wooyoung's chest, and he turned to Yeosang with sparkling eyes.

“Let’s find Yunho and Mingi !” he shouted, a large smile growing on his face.

He didn’t even glance behind him to check if Yeosang was following him and jumped into the crowd of students.

As much as he hated classes and loved the freedom of summer vacation, he had missed going to school. Seeing familiar faces every time he turned his head, listening to the hubbub of hundreds of kids laughing and chattering, hearing his name being called and waving wildly at some of his friends… Wooyoung had missed it. He knew he would regret having these happy thoughts at some point during the year, when classes would become too hard and he would start doubting his abilities... But right now, smile splattered on his face and luggage pulling on his arms, all Wooyoung wanted to think about were the friends he could meet again and the memories they would create together this year.

“Yeo ! Woo !”

Wooyoung snapped his head at the familiar voice coming from his left, his neck doing a funny sound. He didn’t care much though, because his heart was suddenly filled with joy and his smile grew wider. In his peripheral vision, he caught Yeosang rolling his eyes.

“Here we go,” he mumbled, but Wooyoung could see the corner of his mouth rising.

A tall body came crashing down with Wooyoung’s and Wooyoung silently thanked his ballet lessons for giving him strong thighs, keeping both his body and his friend’s upright instead of crumbling on the ground like they did so many times in the past.

“I missed you ! Even if you didn’t wish me a happy birthday !”

His friend, Mingi, yelled in his ear as neither of them let go of the embrace. Wooyoung was way too happy to care about the damage his earing just took, and as the loudest person of their group of friends, it would be hypocritical of him to complain.

Wooyoung giggled against Mingi’s shoulder.

“I missed your giant ass too ! But it’s not my fault your birthday is right in the middle of summer break !”

They broke their hug but kept each other at arm’s length, smiling widely, and Wooyoung could be reminded again about how tall his friend was. Spending summer with Yeosang was great for his ego as his best friend was only a few centimeters taller than him, but Mingi and Yunho…

“Sing me happy birthday !” Mingi yelled.

“No ! Stop screaming !” Wooyoung answered, screaming.

They looked at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter and hugging once more.

It felt so good to hug Mingi again. Two months and a half weren’t _that_ long but Wooyoung had missed him so much.

“Congrats on finally being 19 and leaving me alone with my sad 18 years of life,” Wooyoung mumbled against Mingi’s chest. He felt the vibration of his friend’s giggles, warmth filling his heart.

“When did you arrive ?” Yeosang’s voice broke their cute bubble and Wooyoung pouted when Mingi stopped hugging him, but seeing all three of them together again lifted his smile back up.

“Two hours ago ? Oh, Yeo !”

Wooyoung’s best friend disappeared into Mingi’s arms.

They spent the next few minutes hugging and screaming, catching up on their lives and what they did during the summer. Well, Mingi and Wooyoung were screaming. Yeosang was rolling his eyes a lot but Wooyoung could read his expressions easily. Yeosang was as happy as Wooyoung to be back, to see Mingi again.

When the crowd started to be a bit too overwhelming around them, they all agreed on moving away from it to find another place to continue their discussion in peace.

Mingi helped them carry their luggage, or mostly Yeosang’s since he had almost the double of what Wooyoung took with him. Way too much for someone who was supposed to wear a school uniform 90% of the time. He wondered how Yeosang even managed to hold everything until then, but Wooyoung wasn’t nice enough to help him carry his bags.

Maybe he would have if they had used a Vanishing Cabinet.

They found a place a bit more isolated, closer to the school’s carriage. Wooyoung dropped his bag on the ground without an ounce of care, knowing he hadn’t brought anything fragile. He settled down on Yeosang’s biggest suitcase, purposely ignoring the annoyed look his best friend sent his way.

Mingi sat directly on the cobblestone ground. He sprawled his long legs in front of Wooyoung with a smirk, clearly trying to show what Wooyoung would never have.

Whatever. Wooyoung was tiny but pretty.

“Have you seen Yunho yet ?” Yeosang asked as he stayed standing, looking around.

Warmth spread in Wooyoung’s chest as he scanned the crowd waiting for Mingi to answer. Now that they were reunited with their tall friend, only Yunho remained and their little group would be complete again. Patience was key, but Wooyoung always had a hard time dealing with it. He had missed his friends too much to wait any longer.

Spending his summer with Yeosang had been amazing, even if Wooyoung would never tell him out loud, but they had also spent the biggest part of their life together. He loved Yeosang more than anything and would never take this precious friendship for granted, but he _needed_ to see his other friends as well.

Here at Beauxbatons, students started seeing people their age only at the start of their teenage years. First Years were 13. Children spent their childhood at home with private tutors paid by their parents, learning everything they needed to know. Or rather, everything their parents wanted them to know : proper human values, good manners, basic magic, and academic stuff. In doing so, parents could be sure their children were raised like they wanted, with their morals and cultures. Then, they would put their kids at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic to perfect them.

Because of that, children were alone, or almost alone during their entire childhood. Wooyoung would always be grateful life gave him the gift to have Yeosang as his neighbor, making him part of Wooyoung’s life for so long.

But he was glad he made some new friends as well. He loved them immensely, from the bottom of his heart.

They made him happy.

“I did, actually,” Mingi answered, tearing Wooyoung away from his thoughts and back to the conversation. ”He’s by the wall with Jongho.”

Mingi nodded toward the said wall in front of him, a part of the castle Wooyoung and Yeosang came out from a while ago, and Wooyoung followed the motion. He found Yunho pretty quickly, his friend mirroring Wooyoung’s position by sitting on a large suitcase. His little brother, Jongho, was pacing in front of him with a frown on his face, eyes darting around.

“I talked to them already but…”

“But ?” Yeosang inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Mingi frowned. And seeing Mingi frowning made Wooyoung frown. 

“They seem extra-tense. I stayed with them for like, half an hour but it felt weird so I left to catch up with Hwanwoong and his friends, then I saw you two.”

He brought his knees to his chest, putting his arms around his legs. He seemed so small all of a sudden, and Wooyoung wondered if now was an appropriate time to coo at his soft face.

“Must be because of San,” Yeosang stated as he took off his expensive grey jacket.

He folded it so neatly Wooyoung almost stood up to open his own suitcase and ask Yeosang to do the same with the clothing he owned. He had thrown everything inside without an ounce of care last night, knowing too damn well he would regret it later.

Beauxbatons wasn’t so keen on wrinkled clothes.

“What does it have to do with San ?” Mingi asked, his frown deepening.

“You didn’t read Yunho’s letter ?” Wooyoung asked as he rolled the sleeves of his black shirt up.

Now he could understand why Yeosang felt the need to take his jacket off. The sun was glowing. After trying to get used to the sudden brightness, they would need to adjust to the weather again. Yeosang and Wooyoung had seen rain for days and even when the sky cleared up for a bit, the air had still been too cold to wear those tank tops Wooyoung loved so much. His father would never allow him to wear those kind of shirts anyway.

Maybe Wooyoung secretly slipped some in his suitcase though.

“I received some but none about San ?” Mingi answered.

Wooyoung rolled his eyes.

“This is why I hate sending letters to your fucking Muggle villa. We never know if you’ll ever receive them !”

“Hey ! Watch your mouth, Pureblood !”

A few heads turned in Mingi’s direction at his outburst, making Wooyoung snort and Yeosang hide behind his hand. Mingi raised his hands in surrender and offered an innocent smile to the students looking his way.

It worked.

In a second, people turned back to their own conversation as if nothing happened and Mingi sighed in relief.

Fortunately for him, Beauxbatons was a completely safe place for Muggle-borns but it didn’t erase the fact it had a majority of Purebloods.

Very boring Purebloods, with no sense of humor.

At least Yunho, Yeosang and Wooyoung were fun Purebloods.

“Well, if you didn’t know,” Yeosang brought them back to their initial conversation, setting his folded jacket on top of one of his bags. “Apparently, San didn’t spend summer with them. He didn’t even show up at his grandparents’.”

Mingi looked as surprised as Wooyoung had been when he had read Yunho’s letter. For what they knew, Yunho had spent every summer of his life with San.

“What ? Did he say why ?”

Wooyoung shook his head, answering for Yeosang.

“He didn’t send them any letter. Yunho asked San’s grandparents and apparently, they didn’t know much either. San simply sent them a letter saying he wouldn’t come, without any explanation.”

“Pretty shitty of him to inform his grandparents but keeping Yunho in the dark,” Yeosang added.

“And Jongho too. He’s San’s best friend…” Mingi said, a hint of worry passing on his face. He gasped. “Is that why Jongho didn’t send me his usual August letter ?”

Wooyoung snorted.

“No, that’s because your stupid villa is fucking lost in the middle of some French mountains.”

“Stop aggressively talking about my house ! At least it’s bigger than yours !”

“Ha ! I don’t care because I spend most of my time at Yeosang’s !”

“And that’s why I spend most of _my_ time away from my own home,” Yeosang interjected, rubbing his temples. “Back to the point. Am I the only one thinking it looks a lot like what happened with the other prick two years ago ?”

Wooyoung froze. The atmosphere shifted, a heavy silence following Yeosang’s words.

As always when the taboo subject was bought in the conversation, none of them knew how to react. Wooyoung lowered his head and started playing mindlessly with the handle of Yeosang’s suitcase.

“They must be terrified…” Mingi murmured, his voice almost inaudible, drowned in the happy chattering of students.

Wooyoung heard him though, and his heart sank. He nodded, eyes fixed on the white pebbles scattered on the ground. 

“I… I really hope it won’t happen with San. One time was hard enough for Yunho… I don’t know how he would handle it if it happened again.”

He allowed himself to look at Yunho once again, trying to reassure his worried mind that things were okay, that his friend would be fine.

Yunho hadn’t moved from his spot on the suitcase, but now he was talking to his brother. He was wearing his usual bright smile, the one capable of illuminating the darkest place and cheering up anyone in a second. But Wooyoung could tell he was only trying to reassure his younger brother. His knee was bouncing at a frantic pace, his hands gripping his leg.

He was anxious.

“I don’t think he would be able to handle it… That would break him,” Yeosang commented and as much as Wooyoung wanted to deny this statement, he knew his best friend was right. Yeosang was _always_ right.

Helping Yunho to get up two years ago had been… Hard. Yunho had the biggest heart ever. He was so full of love for everyone, so eager to make his friends smile and help people be happy it all reverted back to him when the _Seonghwa Incident_ happened, and not in a good way. Wooyoung had never seen his friend in this state and he hoped he wouldn’t have to witness it ever again. Yunho was meant to smile, he was their ball of joy, their sunshine. Tears and sad smiles didn’t have their place on his face. He didn’t deserve the pain life gave him at this time.

Wooyoung didn’t know San and Seonghwa well. The Park brothers, two well-known Purebloods of their school. They were Yunho’s childhood friends, yet he never managed to introduce them to Wooyoung and his friends, always switching from one group to the other instead. All Wooyoung knew was that San and Seonghwa had always spent their holidays at their grandparents’, who happened to be Yunho and Jongho’s neighbors. Yunho loved the two brothers with all his heart and always considered them his family. His brothers by heart.

So when Seonghwa didn’t show up to spend his summer with Yunho two years ago and completely ignored him when school started again, Yunho broke. He wouldn’t show it now, but they all knew seeing Seonghwa was still hurtful for him to this day. The Seonghwa Incident became that one subject they always had in mind but would avoid as much as needed.

Wooyoung really hoped San wouldn’t do this to his friend.

“Now, you made all of us sad !” Mingi whined, breaking the heavy silence that had settled once again following Yeosang’s words. “Way to go, Yeosang !”

Yeosang gave him a sheepish smile. He took one of his golden strands and curled it around his finger, a habit he had when he was anxious.

“Sorry.”

Mingi must have noticed the familiar gesture too. He gave Yeosang a reassuring smile.

“It’s okay. I’m worried too,” he said with a soft voice, making Yeosang smile back timidly.

Wooyoung was about to add something comforting when the loud chattering of students shifted, startling him. Loud whispers and lots of gasps replaced the buzzing sound of discussions and he turned around to search for the source of all this commotion.

“Is that... “ Yeosang started but clapped his lips together a second later, because _yes_. No doubt.

It was them.

A flying carriage could be seen in the distance, appearing from behind the high mountains and coming closer every second. Drifting under the sun, the carriage was painted in an immaculate white, shining, forcing even the least interested people to look up and watch it approaching. Two winged horses were pulling it, their white wings caressing the air with delicacy and elegance. The entirety of the vehicle was a pleasure to the eyes, and even Wooyoung, who had no interest in carriages or any magical vehicle, couldn’t take his eyes off the sight.

After another minute or two of contemplation, the two winged horses finally made contact with the ground. The sound of their hoofs on the hard pavement resonated, breaking the silence of hundreds of stunned people watching the scene. They continued their elegant trot for a few meters before coming to a halt in the middle of the square.

Wooyoung and his friends were sitting a bit far away from the carriage, but they didn’t have to be any closer to know who were the owners of such a luxurious vehicle. Everyone knew. There weren’t many people who could come in such a classy way, stealing the show and forcing everyone to stop whatever they were doing without even trying. Only two people could do that.

The Park brothers Yunho was waiting for. San and Seonghwa.

Wooyoung held his breath as the carriage's door opened.

 _Seonghwa._ Tall, beautiful Seonghwa, with his raven hair and perfect skin. Chin up, back straight, his entire presence radiated elegance, magnificence. He took a few steps forward, climbing down the stairs Wooyoung hadn’t noticed appeared in front of the door once the carriage landed. Each step Seonghwa took was graceful, all his movements delicate and gentle. Hair slicked back in a meticulous, refined way, it showed the entirety of his face and enhanced the hardness of his features.

Seonghwa was breathtaking.

And maybe that was one of the reasons Wooyoung had a hard time forgiving him for what he made Yunho go through. Wooyoung couldn’t deal with pretty people.

Or maybe it was because deep down, Wooyoung knew Seonghwa was struggling with something, something big and complicated, causing him to ignore Yunho.

Wooyoung didn’t know, or maybe he didn’t care. At the end of the day, Seonghwa was still the handsome asshole who hurt one of his best friends.

And then, there was San.

The one Wooyoung had been waiting for since he saw the worry in Yunho’s eyes a few minutes ago.

The first thing Wooyoung noticed when San made his way out of the vehicle was his hair. His blond, almost white hair that was always shiny and soft looking, contrasting perfectly with the dark strands of his brother. San looked just as elegant and outstanding as Seonghwa, just as breathtaking, but in a different way. Yunho once described him as _charming_ and Wooyoung thought it was fitting. His strong jaw and piercing gaze made him look a bit intimidating, but his face was softened by shining eyes and pretty smiles.

Biting his lips, San raised his head and searched around, his eyes scanning the crowd. He looked a bit desperate to find something or someone, frowning a bit more every second passing. 

Wooyoung took a shaky breath. He hoped San was searching for Yunho.

He really hoped San was searching for Yunho.

 _Please_ , let him be searching for Yunho…

A big smile brightened San’s face up.

He pushed his brother aside and started running, completely ignoring the many curious eyes stuck on him or the way the crowd parted to let him pass. A few seconds later, he was crashing down in Jongho’s arms with a laugh and that was the moment Wooyoung learned how to breathe again. He could feel his tensed shoulder relaxing and the nervous feeling that was creeping up inside him lessened.

Jongho started turning a giggling San in the air and Wooyoung knew that if these two were happy to see each other again and smiling so brightly, San would be talking to Yunho as well.

Everything was fine.

Mingi let out a relieved sigh and lied down on the ground just as Yeosang brought a hand to his chest, as if trying to calm his beating heart.

They had been scared for nothing in the end, and Wooyoung was glad.

He knew he could get rid of his worries the moment he saw Yunho engulfing San into a bear hug, both of them smiling brightly.

He tried a glance in Seonghwa direction but the boy hadn’t moved, his gaze somewhere on the ground. Or nowhere, judging by the empty look in his dark eyes. Wooyoung knew he shouldn’t be so nosy, and he knew this was the boy who hurt one of his closest friends, yet he couldn’t help but feel bad. In the past two years, Seonghwa had been nothing like the boy Wooyoung knew from his ballet lesson, the one who helped him b-

“-ore did you, Woo ?”

“Huh ?”

He had been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn’t noticed Mingi and Yeosang had started talking again. He blinked a few times, trying to comprehend whatever Yeosang had just said, to no avail. His best friend rolled his eyes but repeated anyway, a small smile on his lips.

They started a new discussion, the atmosphere noticeably lighter and happier. Mingi told them how eager his little sister Yuna was to start her second year at Beauxbatons, and how she had ditched Mingi as soon as she had found her friends a few minutes after they had arrived. His little brother Kangmin, a Third Year, had stuck to his side for a bit longer but eventually found some familiar faces, leaving his brother sad and alone.

Mingi loved being dramatic.

“They’re all grown up,” he sobbed and Yeosang chuckled at his failed attempt to release fake tears. Wooyoung simply smiled. He was glad he could spend time with Mingi again. He hoped Yunho would join them soon.

He guessed he had wished strongly enough because a few seconds later, Yunho was there with his bright smile, illuminating everything around him and putting a wild smile on Wooyoung’s face too.

“I see you survived another summer with Woo !” Yunho laughed in Yeosang’s direction, making both Yeosang and Mingi chuckle.

Wooyoung knew he should be at least a bit offended, but he couldn’t care less about some teasing at the moment.

Yunho was here.

Yunho was here, smiling, talking to them. 

They were all back together.

“I fucking missed you !” Wooyoung yelled as he jumped into Yunho’s arms, engulfing him in the biggest hug possible. He closed his eyes as he let his head fall on Yunho’s chest, keeping him close.

It felt so good to have him back. Wooyoung had missed Yunho’s hugs the most. His friend held the record of “best hugger” in Wooyoung’s head and he doubted anyone could ever take his place.

“I missed your annoying laugh,” Yunho whispered, his chin moving on top of Wooyoung’s head and tickling him.

“I’ll make sure to laugh loudly in your ear every day then,” they both giggled as they let go of each other.

Did Yunho grow up even more during summer break ?

When Yeosang got his hug too and after Mingi whined to have another one, the soothing voice of one of the maid-fairies took over the place.

“ _All students of Beauxbatons Academy of Magic are invited to come aboard the Carrosse Céleste. We will be departing at 3PM. Thank you_.”

“Better move quickly,” Yeosang said and they all nodded.

They knew all too well being at the end of the queue would mean hours of waiting for their turn to enter the carriage, and they certainly wanted to avoid that. Wooyoung needed to sit on a real sofa, Yeosang’s suitcase had made his butt sore and he was pretty sure he heard something break when he sat back on it after hugging Yunho.

He didn’t care much though.

Mingi disappeared into the crowd to take the luggage he had left with his friend Hwanwoong while Yunho stayed with Yeosang and Wooyoung. He helped them carry their bags even though he had his own too, proving once again that Yeosang was _not_ the best friend Wooyoung deserved. Yunho was officially the bestest friend in the entire world.

They walked to the big golden carriage where the oldest students had already started gathering. It looked a lot like the Park brothers’ carriage, but a hundred times bigger, with more gold than white. After spending so many years between the rich walls of Beauxbatons’ castle and Yeosang’s mansion, Wooyoung couldn’t find anything spectacular about this vehicle anymore. He guessed it was pretty, at the very least.

“I’m so glad to see you again guys !” Yunho beamed when Mingi came back and they started waiting by the carriage’s entrance. “It was the most boring summer of my life.”

Yeosang let out a chuckle.

“You don’t spend your summers with Wooyoung and it shows.”

If Yeosang suddenly got kicked in the shin, he deserved it.

They took advantage of the wait to catch up, Yunho complaining about how Jongho had kept singing from morning to night every single day, how Yunho had missed talking to people his age and making new friends. Yeosang and Wooyoung shared their funny experiences as well, but it was mostly Yeosang complaining about Wooyoung and receiving some colorful insults in return.

At some point, Yeosang, because he was the bolder one in their group of friends and maybe the bravest as well, eventually asked the question they all had been dying to ask.

“How is San ?”

For the second time this afternoon, he curled a strand of hair around his finger. Wooyoung caught his eyes and offered him a supporting smile, which Yeosang returned timidly.

“He’s okay,” Yunho reassured. His eyes sparkled as he smiled. “He’s my usual Sannie, if that’s what you wanted to know. I feel like Jongho is breathing again ever since they hugged.”

“Did he say why he couldn’t come this summer ?” Wooyoung asked.

The queue started moving and they took their luggage to take a few steps forward. 

Yunho shook his head.

“He didn’t but I’m sure he’s gonna tell everything to Jongho first. I’ll ask later.”

Yeosang hummed in response and put two bags on his back as they arrived in front of the carriage’s entrance.

“By the way, Mingi didn’t receive all of your letters,” Wooyoung thought it was important to add. 

Mingi’s offended face was hilarious.

“Wh- Mingi ! It’s always the same with your stupid Muggle house !”

\----------

Wooyoung let out a long sigh, closing his eyes.

He was laying on his new bed, in his new dorm. He and his friends had to go separate ways once they had entered Beauxbatons’ castle for the mandatory school tour nobody needed. Then they had been assigned with roommates, resulting in Wooyoung being already tired and looking like a starving larva on his bed.

Like every year since he had started his life in this school, Wooyoung found himself in the sky blue dorm, or ‘ _Ciel_ ’ like they commonly called it. He didn't know how it was to live in the other dorms but he appreciated this one and was always happy to come back here and live between its pastel blue walls.

The school separated its students into three categories. Sky blue, shining gold, and pure white. Or ‘Ciel’, ‘Soleil’ and ‘Neige’ to call it by their initial names. There wasn't anything particular between the three categories, it was just a fancier way to say class A, B and C. Their ancestors copied a bit on Hogwarts and added a point system some thousands of years ago but in the end, it wasn't relevant : every student of Beauxbatons wanted to be nothing but the best and didn't care much about their color.

It was one of the particularities of Beauxbatons. ‘ _Myself first, others second._ ’ Well, at least for grades and school stuff. They weren't complete douchebags for the rest. 

Students were assigned with one of the three colors at the very beginning of their life in the school, in first year, and kept it until their graduation. Most of their classes were mixed together, but colors were a big part of their dorm life. Wooyoung had always found himself lucky as Yeosang had been put in the Ciel dorm with him. They made some other amazing friends here and Wooyoung was always proud of the blue badge decorating his uniform jacket. He often wondered how life would have been if Yunho wasn’t in the _Neige_ dorm and Mingi in the _Soleil_ one, but he guessed it was for the best. They would have set their dorm on fire or something.

The dorms came in the form of three massive mansions behind the school castle, all separated by beautiful gardens and ornamental fountains here and there.

One building for one color.

One floor for one year.

The youngest were higher, the oldest lower. For example, Mingi’s friend from music class, Hongjoong, was on the first floor of the _Soleil_ dorm since he was an Eighth Year. Soon to be 20, this year marked his last one as a Beauxbatons student.

Being a Sixth Year, Wooyoung’s room was somewhere on the third floor.

And for the sixth year in a row, Wooyoung had been assigned as one of Yeosang’s roommates. He knew Yeosang had something to do with this, they couldn’t be _that_ lucky, but he never cared asking. Yeosang had his way with things and that was a fact, no need to search any further to understand. He wouldn’t answer anyway.

Still, Wooyoung had held his breath before his name had been called, right after Yeosang’s. As much as they liked to complain and insult each other, they both knew they couldn’t live a year apart, even if only for the time spent in the dorms. Wooyoung needed Yeosang just as Yeosang needed Wooyoung.

But they weren’t alone in this room.

Apparently Wooyoung wasn’t _that_ tired because ten minutes later, he found himself wrestling on his bed with Changbin, one of his roommates he had known for years.

“Who thought it would be a good idea to put these two together again. Wasn’t last year enough ?” Wooyoung heard Yeosang complain from the other side of the room. He could imagine him rubbing his temples.

Wooyoung lost his balance and grabbed Changbin, making them both crash on the floor with a loud, painful sound.

“With a bit of luck one of them will die pretty soon,” Yeonjun said and Wooyoung groaned, remembering he would have to share his room with _both_ Yeonjun _and_ Changbin this year.

What a pain in the ass.

Eventually, Changbin and Wooyoung let go of each other, agreeing on pausing their fight for now. Wooyoung climbed back on his bed only to find Yeonjun laying there with a book on his lap, smiling innocently at him.

 _Oh Merlin_ , the patience he would need this year.

But as much as he wanted to complain, Wooyoung couldn’t fight against the smile tugging on the corner of his lips as he pushed Yeonjun off his bed, resulting in him falling on a really whiny Changbin. Wooyoung knew he wouldn’t be bored this year.

He could feel it. He didn’t know why, couldn’t pinpoint what exactly made him think that way, but he knew it.

His Sixth Year at Beauxbatons was going to be the most special one.

**Tuesday 1, September**

To Wooyoung’s dismay, classes started again. Their very first lesson was Transfiguration and Wooyoung had nothing to do other than looking around at the classroom as he waited for their professor to come.

The Transfiguration classroom was ordinary, a perfect copy of the other rooms they had lessons in.

Like a majority of rooms in the castle, white walls were decorated with golden ornaments and fancy paintings of angels and fairies. Wooyoung never figured out if there was something magical about these paintings or if his eyes were messing with him, but he swore he could see the fairies’ wings moving while he would be spacing out. And he spaced out a lot.

White pillars were dispositioned symmetrically around the room, ascending to the roof where a breathtaking fresco of some magical forest could be admired.

Wooyoung could appreciate the beauty of his school but had stopped being amazed by its richness a while ago. Yeosang’s mansion was as pretty as this building. His own wasn’t so bad either.

Speaking of Yeosang, his best friend had ditched him to sit with Mark, one of their classmates, because their Transfiguration professor disliked the idea of two students from the same dorm sitting together. ‘ _For diversity_ ’ she had explained once, after Wooyoung had been secretly sulking for an hour.

Mingi wasn’t with them because their lessons only mixed students from two dorms together, not the three - Ciel and Neige, Ciel and Soleil, or Neige and Soleil. This morning, their Transfiguration lesson was with the Neige class, so no Mingi.

Wooyoung already missed him.

He was sighing for the umpteenth time when Yunho eventually saved him from boredness. His tall friend didn’t even look around and immediately sat down next to Wooyoung with a shit-eating grin, naturally making Wooyoung smile too.

“So, I’m roommate with San again,” he stated, opening his bag and taking out some sheets he messily let fall on the white marble of their shared table.

“You’re kidding.”

Yunho’s smile only grew wider.

“No joke my dear Woo ! Six years in a row !” He laughed at Wooyoung’s shocked face and put his bag on the floor, his elbow messing with the papers on the table. Wooyoung grimaced when it got crumpled as his friend straightened, but Yunho didn’t seem to mind.

“And what’s so shocking about it anyway, aren’t you and Yeosang roommates _again_?”

Wooyoung shrugged, starting to twist a pen between his fingers absentmindedly.

“We are, but we all know Yeosang did something. You ? It’s pure luck and that’s crazy. You’re scaring me, dude.”

“Fair enough,” Yunho agreed with a laugh.

He took all his sheets and gathered them in a neat pile in front of him, not bothered by the crumpled ones. Wooyoung wondered why his friend needed so much paper for a Transfiguration class. He guessed Yunho was going through the _‘start of the school year syndrome_ ’ as he liked to call it, when people convinced themselves they would do better this year and be model students. Wooyoung never experienced that, he was reasonable enough to know the path to become a good student was unreachable for him.

“Are we going to meet him this year ?” Wooyoung asked as he put his pen down, his fingers growing tired of the repetitive motion. He set his head in his palm instead. “San, I mean.”

“Yeosang told me you wanted to befriend San because you’re obsessed with his hair.”

Warmth climbed incredibly fast to the tip of Wooyoung’s ears.

“I’m- That’s- I’m not obsessed with his hair !” he claimed as Yunho snickered behind his hand. “I genuinely want to know him !”

“Sure, sure.”

“I’m being serious ! He’s your childhood friend and we still haven’t been properly introduced, that’s just weird !”

He hit Yunho’s arm, hoping his ears weren’t as red as they felt while he tried to make his friend shut up. It took him way too long but Yunho eventually calmed down, massaging his arm.

Ha, Wooyoung hoped he felt at least a bit of pain for being a pain in _his_ ass.

When his friend stopped laughing for good, he let out a long sigh.

“I know, but I told you. His aunt kind of brainwashed him saying he was better off without friends and that it would ruin his school’s grades. He knows it’s not true now, but he still has a hard time accepting that and making friends. I don’t want to push him or make him uncomfortable,” he explained in an uncharacteristically serious tone.

Wooyoung almost felt bad for bringing the subject on the table.

“Plus, you’re all so annoying I don’t know if I could deal with both you and San being friends.”

False alarm, Wooyoung didn’t regret talking and Yunho deserved another punch in the arm.

“You liar ! You’re _dreaming_ of the day we will all be friends,” he exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at his friend.

Yunho gave him a shy smile and Wooyoung immediately knew he was right.

Yunho loved his friends. He loved San just as much as he loved Wooyoung, Mingi and Yeosang, and always had a hard time switching from San to them as years passed. Until then, he managed quite well but Wooyoung knew things would be easier if San simply joined their little group.

Maybe one day.

Wooyoung decided his friend didn’t deserve to be punched on the arm that much, even less now that he had stopped with the teasing and opened up about his childhood friend. Wooyoung patted his back instead.

“I got it. I’ll stay patient.”

They both smiled at each other just as their professor entered the room, putting an end to their conversation.

He would wait. They had waited for years already, they could do it for a bit longer. And if San wasn’t ready to make new friends this year, then so be it. Wooyoung had plenty of friends and knew how to enjoy any moment spent with them already, it wasn’t as if San would change his life.

He smiled to himself as their professor wrote down the title of their first chapter of the year on the blackboard.

Yeah, he could wait.

**Wednesday 2, September**

Ballet lessons.

One of the many reasons why Wooyoung couldn’t see himself studying in any other school than Beauxbatons.

Here, in this particular academy of magic located somewhere in the middle of the Pyrénées mountains, he could learn how to turn a flower into a cat in the morning and spend his afternoon dancing on a beautiful piece written by one of his classmates. Beauxbatons students could learn to dance, sing, draw or paint just as much as they would learn the basics of magic.

Considering Wooyoung’s social statut, the environment he grew up in and the importance his parents gave to his education, Beauxbatons was the only school he would have attended. But to Wooyoung’s delight, it was also the only school putting as much effort in magic classes as artistic and athletics specialties. Music, ballet, drama, riding, painting… As long as the activity was judged elegant and educational enough for their students, Beauxbatons offered classes for it.

After his mother had brought him to see the ballet ' _La Sylphid_ e' when he was five years old, Wooyoung's biggest dream had always been to enter this school so he could become a dancer. He wanted to feel the freedom he saw as dancers jumped and turned into the air, wanted to experience the way their bodies moved, light as feathers and gracious like swans.

He wanted to fly.

And his wish had been granted, just as Mingi’s had been, with his music lessons. Yeosang had learned fencing for years at home with his personal trainer and even though he was remarkable at a crazy amount of different sports, he chose fencing as his speciality class once he started studying at Beauxbatons. Yunho had dropped his drama class in the middle of his first year to join Yeosang, only because fencing seemed cool and students were allowed to change specialities during their first year.

Now he was one of the best fencers of their class.

One thing Wooyoung loved the most about these specialities was that students weren't sorted by classes or age. People from all classes and all levels were together. Wooyoung loved helping younger students just as much as he loved learning from the olders and even if his professors were harsh and demanding, Wooyoung never regretted the path he chose. 

Ballet classes were _amazing._

Nothing could stop him from being happy on ballet lessons days.

Not even the downpour throwing heavy drips on the huge windows of his dorm, engulfing the room in a grey, gloomy atmosphere despite the excessive amount of pastel blue decorating their walls. It only made him the more excited. Everything was grey and cold, but Wooyoung knew his heart would be warmth and light as soon as he would start to dance.

Wooyoung loved dancing on rainy days.

Even when he arrived at school drenched from head to toe because he forgot Impervius Charms or even _umbrellas_ existed, his bright, happy smile never left his face. Some of his classmates laughed at him when they saw what a mess he was and he laughed with them, not caring in the slightest about the big puddle of water forming at his feet on the shiny parquet of the changing room. A Seventh Year took pity on him and helped him with a Hot-Air Charm, which he was thankful for.

A few minutes later, he was dancing in the middle of Beauxbatons’ spacious dance room, classical music filling his ears and disruptive thoughts leaving his mind to let him concentrate on his own body.

He loved dancing. He loved it so much he couldn't think about what his life would have been if he wasn't at Beauxbatons, if he couldn't dance at least twice a week, for hours. He _needed_ to dance to feel alive. Specialties weren't even enough for him. It was great to have their ballet lessons twice a week, four hours each, but Wooyoung often came back on Sundays or on any weeknight to practice whatever he wanted.

He had never been the best student in school. He wasn't bad either or he wouldn't be here, but the only moment he felt like he belonged somewhere was during these ballet classes, the one thing in his life his father didn’t care about. The one thing that was his, and his only.

Here, he was good. No, he was _great._ He was a skillful student and he knew a lot of his classmates from years below looked up to him a lot, which he was proud of. He had worked hard to reach the level he had now, and he continued to work every day to go higher, be better. To be the best.

But of course, one person was always better than him. One person was always stealing the show, catching everyone’s attention, and nobody could look away, not even Wooyoung. One person was and would always surpass him, and Wooyoung couldn’t even be mad or jealous.

 _Seonghwa_ was too out of his league, out of anyone’s league. 

Wooyoung could only watch from afar, in awe, and work harder in hope of being as skillful and impressive as him one day.

After all the events that had happened two years ago, it was a bit hard to remember Seonghwa hadn’t always been a prick, as Yeosang liked to call him. He did have this intimidating aura that made people too scared to take a step in his direction, resulting in him being alone most of the time, but he was more than that. At least before. He wasn’t as cold and closed on himself in the past. Wooyoung had known him as a very nice senior, always trying to help the ones who struggled, always here to encourage students behind their professor's back when they had just been scolded. Wooyoung could even remember one night somewhere during his second year when he had totally messed up his monthly evaluation and cried for hours. Seonghwa had offered to help him see what went wrong in his performance and what needed to be changed. They had practiced together until curfew and Wooyoung would always feel grateful for his help.

Seonghwa was an amazing person, with a golden heart. He was the friend everyone needed in their class, the caring, kind one.

But things had changed. Now, he didn't talk to anyone and didn't seem to care about how others were doing. He only cared about his own performances and Wooyoung wondered if he even cared about what professors had to say to him. He seemed... Empty. He didn’t even look sad or broken, he was just livid, soulless.

And that was why Wooyoung couldn’t really stay mad at him for what he did to Yunho. That was why Yeosang called him names without genuinely thinking them. That was why they couldn’t talk about him around Yunho. Because anybody could see _something_ had been going on in his life, something big, and it was painful to even look at him sometimes.

The only few times Wooyoung could see an ounce of life in him was when their ballet lesson came to an end and Hongjoong, one of Mingi's seniors from his music class, would come to pick him up.

Kim Hongjoong, Seonghwa’s boyfriend.

Wooyoung was taking off his ballet shoes when Hongjoong arrived. He made his way into the changing room, greeting every student he passed with a big, warm smile. Wooyoung didn’t know him well, but from what he had heard from Mingi and what he could see with his own eyes, he could tell Hongjoong was a great person. He also had bleached hair and lots of piercings on his ears, which was simply _incredible_ and really weird considering Beauxbatons' dressing code - Wooyoung had pierced his ears too but never dared showing it at school - resulting in Hongjoong being the coolest and most controversial person in their entire school. Add that to the fact he had a _boyfriend_ , at _Beauxbatons…_

Wooyoung wondered if they could become friends one day. He really hoped so.

Seonghwa was sitting on the shiny parquet, massaging his feet when Hongjoong stopped in front of him. The dance routine Seonghwa had been working on today was flawless but extremely difficult and Wooyoung felt himself grimacing just thinking about how painful it must have been for his toes. Seonghwa didn’t complain though. He wouldn’t anyway.

Wooyoung’s classmates left the room one by one, chatting loudly with sweaty forehead and red cheeks, and in the end, only himself and the couple remained.

And _maybe_ Wooyoung was a little bit nosy sometimes because he deliberately took all his time to gather up his stuff, even if he had nothing to gather up anymore.

To be completely honest, it wasn’t exactly his fault. He was born a romantic. And these two ? They were the cutest thing that had ever happened in this school. They were _the_ couple. The living proof that real love was a thing, that people could find their other half and live happily forever. Hongjoong and Seonghwa were already a thing when Wooyoung had started school in first year so, naturally, his romantic and gullible mind had guessed they had been together _forever_. A beautiful romance that had bloomed during their childhood days. 

Yunho had broken his fantasy when he explained they had started dating during their second year at Beauxbatons and maybe Wooyoung had kicked him that day because it wasn’t nice to break someone’s dreams, but still. They were cute. Adorable even.

And that was exactly why Wooyoung was still here, eavesdropping. With his eyes too.

“How was it today ?” Hongjoong asked, smiling sweetly. He crouched down to help Seonghwa gather his belongings up.

“Good. I'm still messing up a lot though.”

Wait, _what the fuck_ ? First, Seonghwa was talking normally. Okay, no, that shouldn't be weird but Wooyoung was always a bit taken aback anytime it happened. It became a rare sight and something he could only witness after these ballet lessons, only when Seonghwa was with his boyfriend.

Second, _what the fuck_ ? Messing up ? Where ?! Seonghwa was annoyingly perfect when it came to ballet and Wooyoung couldn't find a tiny little bit of wrong in his dance routine today. Really, the guy was way too hard on himself, and that came from someone who had spent a lot of time trying to accept his own achievements.

“I'm sure you're not and you're being too hard on yourself, _again,_ ” Hongjoong, the voice of reason said, emphasizing the last word as he rolled his eyes. Seonghwa didn’t say anything back, unsurprisingly.

They finished gathering Seonghwa’s belongings and stood up. Seonghwa was at least a head taller than Hongjoong and Wooyoung wanted to scream because _damn_ , such a cute dynamic. 

“Thanks for always picking me up,” Seonghwa whispered.

It was barely audible but Wooyoung was close enough to hear everything. The two boys stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds and maybe Wooyoung felt like he was witnessing something he shouldn't, but he wasn’t _that_ sorry. His romantic self took control, he couldn’t fight against it.

Hongjoong coughed, the tip of his ears turning red. He was smiling though, and Wooyoung could hear his own heart beating faster because _what the fuck were they so cute for_ ? He could watch them being fluffy and soft all day but they didn't seem to agree because they left just like that, leaving Wooyoung and his fanboying ass alone in the now deserted changing room.

Well, that had been interesting. It was always great to see Seonghwa still had a heart. It made Wooyoung believe things would go back to normal with Yunho as well, one day.

With that thought in mind, Wooyoung stood up, bag thrown over his shoulder. Wand in hand, he turned off the chandeliers with a skilled movement of the wrist, closed the double doors and left.

\----------

“And then, I almost died.”

“Why are you so dramatic, I didn’t even touch you !”

Wooyoung had been wrong. Ballet lessons weren’t the thing he liked the most at Beauxbatons.

Food.

Food was the most amazing thing this school could offer.

Wooyoung had always loved anything Robert, his cook back home, would make for him and he spent hours eating in Yeosang’s mansion to enjoy the meals made by the chefs… But Beauxbatons had maid-fairies and Wooyoung had no idea how their magic worked, but their food was the most delicious ever. Yeosang and Yunho’s banter on the other side of their round table would never stop him from devouring his perfectly cooked broccolis. They were just so _green_.

And Wooyoung knew he was smiling like an idiot here, eating his vegetables by himself, but he was too happy to care. He had missed Beauxbatons’ meals. Not just for the food, but the atmosphere as well. Eating alone with Yeosang was fun and Wooyoung cherished every moment he could share with his best friend, but both their houses were _so big_ and always empty. Even if they were together, it felt lonely sometimes.

But he couldn’t feel lonely here. Not in this room, not with so many conversations going on at the same time and so many students enjoying each other’s presence.

He had stopped counting the number of round tables in the room three years ago, when Yeosang had informed him it changed depending on how many people came to eat and who sat where. Each table was big enough to welcome a dozen of people but Wooyoung and his friends usually took one for themselves, occasionally eating with their roommates or some of their mutual friends when they felt like it.

White tablecloths, candles, green plants, big windows… If Wooyoung’s favorite room was the dance room, then the dining room was a close second.

He looked up just as Mingi sat down next to him, a happy smile splattered on his face. He was shining for some reason Wooyoung wasn’t aware of, taking his plate and stuffing it with whatever was on the table.

“What are we talking about ?” Mingi asked before Wooyoung could question him about his unwavering smile.

Wooyoung shrugged. He had been too busy eating to follow the conversation properly. Their speciality classes this morning had been the first of the year yet Yunho and Yeosang’s bickering stayed the same.

Those fights truly lacked originality. A disappointment.

“Yeosang and Yunho’s fencing lesson. Yunho almost killed Yeo.”

Yunho snapped his head in their direction, eyes wide.

“I didn’t !” 

“It was very scary,” Yeosang answered with the most deadpan expression possible. 

Wooyoung put his lips in a thin line to avoid bursting out laughing and offending Yunho even more. He turned to Mingi instead.

“Why are you so late anyway ?”

His tall friend finished building a mountain of green beans on his plate and gave him the brightest smile ever, as if he had been waiting for this question since he put a foot in the room.

He probably did.

“First project of the year !” he beamed. “We were so inspired we didn’t want to stop until all our ideas were perfectly noted and ready for the next class.”

“Are you working with Jongho again ?” Yunho asked with his mouth full of sweet potato.

Yeosang grimaced. Mingi didn’t seem to care. 

“Yup, Hongjoong and Jongho ! You don’t change a winning team,” he said with a wink, making Yeosang roll his eyes and Yunho snort. "Hongjoong left earlier though."

“I wanna meet Hongjoong,” Wooyoung confessed. He missed his mouth as he tried to eat some chicken.

“You wanna meet a lot of people,” Yeosang chuckled.

Touché. Wooyoung knew a lot of people yet it never felt like he knew enough of them. He liked meeting new faces and talking to strangers but when it came to his friends’ friends, things were more complicated. Hongjoong was the coolest and most talented person on earth, Jongho was scary and San was… San was San. Wooyoung would need some courage to befriend these three.

“Hongjoong is super cool and really nice !” Yunho said happily. His mouth was now full of chicken. “I spent a lot of time with him when Hwa introduced us !”

They all skillfully ignored the nickname slipping off Yunho and the silent implication of a ‘t _hen we stopped because Seonghwa started ignoring me_ ’ or something along those lines.

Mingi was quick to intervene.

“Jongho is amazing too !”

That made Yunho stop munching on his chicken. He looked at Mingi with a frown.

“No, he’s not.”

“Jongho is scary,” Wooyoung added before Mingi could jump on the table and strangle Yunho.

It had happened in the past, it could definitely happen again.

When Mingi had met Yunho’s little brother, he had adopted him and basically considered him as his own brother - as if he didn’t already have one, and a really energetic little sister. Wooyoung couldn’t understand how on earth Jongho could be anyone’s _little_ brother with his strong body and scary gaze, but they lived in a world where people genuinely thought Yeosang was nice. Things weren’t meant to make any sense then.

His friends started bickering over Wooyoung’s statement but he stopped listening because San had entered the room with Jongho. The blond was talking, moving his hands around energetically as they made their way to one of the corners of the room. He almost tripped on nothing once they reached a table full of Fifth Years, probably Jongho’s friends, and laughed at himself, brushing the back of his neck as they settled down.

And Wooyoung knew he was staring and that it wasn’t a socially acceptable thing to do, but there was _something_ about San that made it hard to look away.

He eventually did though, when San suddenly turned to look at their table, almost giving him a heart attack. The blond sent a soft smile to Yunho who had been frantically waving at him with his puppy smile, chicken forgotten on his fork.

Wooyoung hadn’t even seen Yunho move, and his friend was sitting right in front of him.

San was just _that_ captivating.

“The fucker has a pretty smile,” Yeosang mumbled behind his napkin. He tapped at his mouth with the fabric in the most elegant way possible.

“Stop insulting people !” Mingi yelled, throwing his napkin at Yeosang’s unperturbed face.

“And _San_ , of all people !” Yunho added. He didn’t throw his napkin but it was nowhere to be seen so Wooyoung guessed he simply lost it. Or Mingi stole it without noticing, which happened a lot.

Yeosang shrugged, calmly putting his napkin back on the table. He took the one Mingi just threw at his face, folded it neatly before he gave it back to its owner, expression still impassive.

“I can’t deal with pretty people,” he eventually said and Wooyoung rolled his eyes.

He did not just hear these words coming out of Yeosang’s mouth.

 _Yeosang_ , also known as the prettiest student of Beauxbatons - a title he shared with Seonghwa.

Both Mingi and Yunho turned to look at Wooyoung, as if he was the one responsible of the annoying mess Yeosang was.

“I won’t even reply to that,” Wooyoung told them, brushing off the subject and going back to his broccolis.

Three days since they were back to school and Wooyoung already wanted to sell his best friend.

In the end, they all went back to their plates and changed the subject, avoiding any topic that would lead them to strangle one another. It wasn’t an easy task, but they managed somehow. Desserts came in, Mingi dropped his chocolate éclair on Yunho’s uniform, Yeosang missed his cleaning spell and turned said uniform into some ugly greenish color, Yunho scared them all to death by bursting out laughing...

An usual meal at Beauxbatons. 

When Yeosang actually managed to cast his Scouring Charm on Yunho’s uniform and brought it back to its usual pastel blue color, the room was almost empty of any students. San was still laughing with Jongho a few tables away and some First Years were still eating, but that was it.

“Let’s have a walk with Fée and Alfredo,” Yeosang suggested to Wooyoung, putting his spoon down on his empty plate.

Yunho didn’t give Wooyoung any time to answer.

“And ditch us on our first free afternoon ? I don’t think so.”

“Is it because we’re tall ?” Mingi asked and his lower lip stuck out in a pout.

Mingi’s pouts were usually effective so Wooyoung turned away, showing his back to Mingi to avoid looking at him. He let his friend’s question hang in the air to make him believe that yes, indeed, that was because they were tall. 

The pout never left Mingi’s face as they searched for another thing to do this afternoon.

And Wooyoung came back to his words again. Ballet lessons and food weren’t the things he loved the most here at Beauxbatons.

Spending his free afternoons with his friends would always be on the top of his list.

**Friday 4, September**

Fourth day of school and Wooyoung was already tired of it.

They had Transfiguration for the _third_ time this week and Wooyoung genuinely considered hiding in the bathroom and faking some sickness, but he was at _Beauxbatons_ and things would become nasty for him if he happened to get caught. The thought shouldn’t have even crossed his mind but he was desperate. And slightly dramatic.

He felt a sense of deja-vu when he started spacing out, waiting for Yunho to arrive as Yeosang went to sit with Mark once again. Yunho loved going on bathroom breaks right before lessons started so Wooyoung could suffer from loneliness for a little while.

Wooyoung had been absentmindedly creating holes in his eraser for a few minutes when his eyes settled on San.

Wooyoung was _not_ obsessed with San’s hair.

Sure, he talked about it a lot and _maybe_ stared at San's blond strands more than what would be socially acceptable, but he wasn't _obsessed_. At most curious. San’s hair was too shiny to be natural and the fact he had platinum blond hair whereas his brother had the darkest hair in their school… How could Wooyoung not be amazed by such a mystery ?

Hours of staring at his blond hair - not in a creepy way - made Wooyoung look at San a bit more as well, as a person. More often than not, Wooyoung had caught him sighing or visibly losing himself in his thoughts, his eyes empty of any emotion or on the contrary, full of sadness.

Lots of sadness.

Wooyoung knew he shouldn't stick his nose in other people's problems. San wasn’t even his friend but he was Yunho’s and Wooyoung was a tiny bit nosy.

So when Yunho finally sat down next to him with his bright smile and put a single sheet on their table - apparently he was already done with his ‘ _start of the school year syndrom_ e’ - Wooyoung had to ask.

“Hey, random question,” he started as Yunho’s head almost disappeared in his bag. “Is something going on with San ?”

His friend stopped rummaging in his bag to look up at Wooyoung. He frowned.

“What do you mean ?”

“He’s all…” Wooyoung made wild, random gestures with his hands, hoping Yunho would understand _something_ out of it, “Sad eyes and long sighs. I don’t know. Maybe I’m imagining things.”

Now that it was out, Wooyoung regretted asking. Not that he wasn’t curious anymore, but Yunho’s smile slowly faded until it completely disappeared and that was _not_ what Wooyoung had planned.

 _Abort mission_. Yunho was not supposed to stop smiling, not now, not ever.

Wooyoung was about to brush it off and tell his friend to forget whatever he had just said when Yunho shook his head.

“No, you’re right.” He put his bag back on the floor and ran a hand through his hair. A frustrated gesture Wooyoung hadn’t witnessed for a while. 

Yunho caught his eyes and Wooyoung got surprised by the intensity of his friend’s gaze. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw Yunho looking so serious, and the thought made him uneasy. Something was clearly bothering him. 

Eventually, Yunho broke their eye contact and sighed.

“Okay, I’m telling you because I’m actually worried and I don’t want to put it on Jongho’s shoulder.”

“So you’ll put it on mine ?” Wooyoung tried to ease the atmosphere because dealing with a serious Yunho was out of his comfort zone and he didn’t know how to behave.

It didn’t work.

Wooyoung cleared his throat, embarrassed. "Go on.”

Yunho looked down on their table.

“He didn’t tell us why he didn’t come this summer. I thought he would talk to Jongho at the very least but so far, nothing. He’s totally silent. We don’t know why he didn’t come, what he had been doing, if he was okay, nothing. He keeps changing the subject or brushing it off.”

Wooyoung frowned. “That’s weird.”

“Right ?” Yunho rubbed the back of his neck, glancing at San and Wooyoung followed his gaze.

They should have seen it coming. Seonghwa had changed too much in the spawn of a summer for San to disappear just like him and come back unchanged.

Something wasn’t right.

“It’s just so upsetting,” Yunho continued. “Instead of sad, I would say he seems lost ? He spaces out a lot and that’s really unusual coming from him, of all people. He’s all smiles, snorts and funny jokes but since he came back he just… His smiles don’t feel so genuine, I guess. I don’t know.”

He let his hands fall back on the table, head low. His bright smile was nowhere to be seen and it rubbed Wooyoung the wrong way, but he knew he couldn’t force it back. Not now.

“Can we help with anything ? Can _I_ help ?” he asked instead.

Yunho shrugged, keeping his eyes fixed on his hands. The absence of any vocal answer made something break in Wooyoung’s chest and he almost threw himself all over his friend to engulf him in a hug.

Almost.

Because as Wooyoung’s heart broke seeing Yunho in such a state, his friend seemed to have a stroke of genius. He looked up to stare at Wooyoung with wide eyes, the hint of a smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

“Maybe it’s time for him to meet you guys,” he said, and Wooyoung took a while to register the words.

What ?

 _'Meet you'_ as in…? _Meet_ , meet ?

Introduce them ? To San ? San ? To them ?

 _What_ ?

Wooyoung’s thoughts became a bit messy but he got the most important part of Yunho’s sentence.

Had the day finally come ? Wooyoung had said he would be patient, and he believed his words. He knew San needed time. He also knew Yunho had tried plenty of times before, to no avail.

But Yunho was looking at him with such a firm look, a gleam of something in his eyes so intense Wooyoung wanted to believe this time was the real one.

“Didn’t you try already ?” he asked anyway, just to be sure. “And you said you didn’t want to rush him like, two days ago.”

Yunho nodded energetically and Wooyoung felt like smiling again. Happy Yunho was back. 

“Yeah but to be honest, it had been a while since the last time I _actually_ tried. A few months, maybe even a year… Maybe now is the right time to ask again. I think he needs a distraction and you guys are so loud and annoying, it would be perfect.”

Wooyoung ignored the _‘loud and annoying’_ part, keeping his focus on the main subject. 

“Why would it work this time out of all the others ?”

Yunho _smirked_.

His eyes sparkled with something mischievous and confident as he looked at Wooyoung like he was supposed to know what Yunho was thinking about.

Well, he did.

He knew what Yunho was going to say before the words even left his mouth.

“I’ll do the puppy eyes.”

And here it was. Yunho’s biggest weapon.

More effective than Mingi’s pouts, more useful than Yeosang’s insults, as powerful as Wooyoung’s whines...

Wooyoung smirked back.

He knew they looked stupid, smirking at each other like they said the dirtiest joke and were proud of it, but he couldn’t care less at the moment.

They had a plan in the making, and it was going to work.

“Can’t wait to be San’s best friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In French, the ground floor doesn’t count as a floor. It would be like, ground zero I guess ? So the floor above the ground floor is the first floor. If Eight Year's (Seonghwa & Hongjoong) rooms are on the first floor, it means they are on the floor right above the ground floor (common room).  
> I didn’t know about that until recently and I kept messing up so I decided to keep it as it is in French. I’m sorry if it’s too confusing !
> 
> To put it simply: the oldest students are right above the common room and the youngest students live on the last floor of the dorm !
> 
> Thank you for reading 🖤


	3. September : Week 2

**Eleven years ago**

_Wooyoung was taking an umpteenth walk in the forest when he saw him._

_Hidden between leaves and trees, a little boy around his age was trying and failing to climb back to the path Wooyoung was walking on. His clothes were covered in mud and his face contorted into a very funny grimace._

“ _Hey, you okay down there ?” Wooyoung asked as he approached the other._

_The boy’s eyes widened, head snapping to look at Wooyoung._

_Golden hair. Light brown eyes._

_He looked like a doll. Wooyoung had never seen anyone with such a beautiful face._

_The boy seemed to regain his composure rather quickly but stayed completely silent for a moment. He simply looked at Wooyoung, studying him. When he seemed to have found whatever he was looking for, his gaze fell on his feet._

“ _I fell.”_

_Wooyoung snorted loudly, crouching down._

“ _I can see that. How the fuck did this happen ?”_

_He extended his hand to the other boy and waited patiently for him to take it. The boy seemed to hesitate for a second, eyeing the offering hand with a frown._

_He took it anyway._

_Once he was sure his grip was strong enough, Wooyoung helped him climb up and let go of his hand only when the boy's feet were solidly on the ground, safe._

“ _You said a bad word.”_

_Wooyoung huffed, putting his hands on his hips._

“… _Oops ? And you're welcome.”_

“ _Oh.” The other boy blushed furiously, visibly embarrassed. “I'm very sorry. Thank you for your help.”_

_He gave him a 90° bow and Wooyoung took a step back, frowning. It was weird, seeing someone his age being so polite to him._

_He didn't like it much._

“ _Don't tell me you're the son of some kind of nobles or something ?”_

_The boy stood up straight and tilted his head, golden curls falling on his forehead. Now, he looked curious. He definitely was a noble's son so why wasn't he offended by Wooyoung's question ? Usually, people would throw a fit and call him names just for that._

“ _What if I am ?” the boy asked, his expression impossible to read._

_Wooyoung shrugged._

“ _They're boring. So, are you ?”_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _Yes ?”_

“ _I'm boring. And the son of some kind of nobles.”_

_Ha. An interesting answer._

_Wooyoung liked it._

_He studied the boy in front of him, squinting his eyes. Even with all the mud on his face, he looked like a prince. With his golden hair and shining eyes, he was nothing like Wooyoung. Maybe the opposite even. The fact that he let Wooyoung look at him without saying a word, simply waiting for him to talk was a good example of how different they seemed to be._

_Really interesting. Wooyoung made up his mind._

“ _I'm Wooyoung !" he exclaimed, smiling wide. "Are you new here ? Never saw you before.”_

_The boy gave Wooyoung a polite nod and a little bit of a smile._

“ _Yes. My family moved in two days ago.”_

_Wooyoung's eyes widened._

“ _Oh Merlin, are you living in the mansion-castle next to the massive oak tree ? This place is huge ! Three times bigger than my mansion !”_

_The boy giggled, bringing a hand to his mouth to hide his laugh. Wooyoung couldn't relate. He would laugh with his mouth open big and very loudly, and his tutors always scolded him for that._

_Not that Wooyoung cared a bit. They would appreciate golden-haired boy though._

“ _Yes, it is pretty big indeed," noble boy agreed. "And a bit boring. I wanted to explore so...”_

“ _So you run away ?”_

“ _I-I didn't run away... I was just curious, went out on a walk and ended up.. Down here.”_

_Wooyoung snorted, but he didn’t get to say anything because the other boy’s gaze fell on his clothes and a horrified look appeared on his face._

“ _They're gonna kill me..” he whispered as he tried to take away the mud on his sleeve._

_Wooyoung patted the blond's wrist to stop him, shaking his head._

“ _A little bit of mud won't kill you. Besides, it's too late, you can't take that off. Just say some kid pushed you or something.”_

“ _That would be a lie.”_

“ _And ?”_

“ _It's... It's not good.”_

_For the umpteenth time since he met the boy, Wooyoung stared at him in disbelief. He didn't even know what to say. In the past seven years of his life, it was the first time he met someone so weird. Someone he wanted to know more about._

_He wanted to be friends with this boy._

_“Right,” Wooyoung breathed out, still taken aback. “I don’t like lies either.”_

_He was about to add something, when one of his tutors appeared at the end of the path they were on. When he noticed Wooyoung, he immediately sprinted in his direction._

“ _Oops, gotta go !” Wooyoung exclaimed._

_He didn't wait for an answer. He ran away as fast as possible in the opposite direction, leaving the other boy alone on the path._

_He was already a few meters away when Wooyoung heard it. The little boy’s voice, loud for the first time since they met._

“ _Yeosang ! My name is Yeosang !”_

_Wooyoung smiled._

_Yeosang, huh._

_Well._

_Seemed like Wooyoung was going to have his first real friend._

**Monday 7, September**

To nobody’s surprise, the puppy eyes worked.

On Sunday night, Yunho had burst into Yeosang and Wooyoung’s room with his brightest smile to inform them about his victory. Yunho had been surprised San gave in so easily, but he wasn't going to let this chance pass.

They would officially meet San tomorrow.

Wooyoung knew he had been waiting for this day to come, but he didn’t expect himself to be _that_ worked up over it. A bubble of excitation had formed in his stomach as Yunho explained how his talk with San went, and it didn’t leave ever since. Not when he fell asleep, not when he woke up, and certainly not when he sat at the round table of the divination classroom the next morning, waiting for San to arrive.

The great thing about divination lessons was that all colors of dorms shared the class at the same time, meaning both Yunho and Mingi were sitting with Wooyoung and Yeosang. The timing couldn't be any better. Yunho would only need to do one introduction for them all, which was more convenient and less awkward. 

Everything was going well until Wooyoung realized how nervous he truly was. Waiting for San became annoyingly difficult.

The sight of an empty seat right next to Yunho made Wooyoung’s chest heavy with impatience and he knew the constant tapping of his foot against the ground was irritating Yeosang, but he couldn't stop. He had to look away from this chair or he would do something regretful, like scream or laugh loudly because he needed to let _something_ out. He didn’t though. By experience, he knew his classmates weren't so keen of his outbursts. 

Fortunately for him, the divination classroom was pretty enough to ease Wooyoung’s mind a little. It looked a lot like their other classrooms, but larger, probably one of the biggest rooms of the castle. And because it was made for their _divination_ lessons, multiple magically-made stars were floating in the air above them, shining here and there in white and gold. Round tables were covered with white lace tablecloths and a crystal ball was put on top of each of them, giving a blueish, weird atmosphere to the entire room.

Weird but pretty.

A bit too weird maybe. Since they had entered the room, Mingi hadn’t stopped staring at the crystal ball in front of them and Wooyoung was a bit concerned something was actually hypnotizing their friend and they weren’t aware of it.

Yeosang didn’t seem worried so things were probably okay.

Probably.

Maybe.

...

Wooyoung hoped so.

He didn’t let his mind worry any further though, because San entered the room and Wooyoung’s heart started speeding up.

Finally, _finally_ , they were going to meet San for real.

The childhood friend Yunho couldn't stop talking about.

The pretty face of their school.

The mystery Wooyoung wanted to decipher. 

Hopefully, they could create a friendship out of it. 

If Wooyoung had been quick to notice San coming in, Yunho was faster to move. He put his hand up to wave energetically at his friend and patted the seat next to him, a bright smile illuminating his face.

Yunho's happy face helped Wooyoung calm his nervous heart. San sat down between Yunho and Yeosang, a light flush dusting his cheeks.

Good. At least Wooyoung wasn’t the only flustered one here.

Yunho coughed, taking the attention of both Yeosang and Mingi, the latter finally stopping his intense eye contact with the crystal ball. He noticed almost immediately that San was here.

“San, hi !!!” He greeted with a big smile and his usual surplus of energy, startling both San and the students sitting at the table next to them. Yeosang sent them an apologetic smile - a perfectly fake one.

A cute laugh escaped San's lips and Wooyoung suddenly felt like dying because _oh Merlin,_ it was happening. San, _Yunho's childhood friend_ , was finally talking to them. Well, not exactly talking yet but _responding_. Interacting. Whatever.

“San, let me introduce you to my friends properly !” Yunho started, throwing an arm around his childhood friend. He was _beaming_. “The tall boy right here is Mingi, I'm sure you know him because there’s no way Jongho doesn’t talk about his music projects at least ten times a day.”

“So now you’ll hear about it twenty times a day,” Wooyoung felt the need to add, making Yeosang chuckle behind his hand as Mingi gasped, mildly offended.

Yunho threw him a murderous look, as if interrupting his introduction was the biggest crime ever committed. Maybe it was. Wooyoung raised his hands up in surrender, catching San's eyes.

They shared an amused smile.

“I’m supposed to be the one talking !” Yunho frowned and San _giggled_. Oh Merlin, he was adorable. “Well, the irritating one here is Wooyoung !”

Rude.

“He’s really loud and annoying but he’s okay.”

An offended gasp passed Wooyoung’s lips and Mingi snorted.

“And next to him is Yeosang." Yunho continued. "He’s like, exactly what Wooyoung isn’t so... he’s boring.”

“Fuck you,” Yeosang deadpanned.

“Hey, did he indirectly complimented me ?” Wooyoung asked, but both Yunho and Yeosang ignored him.

Instead, Yeosang offered San a welcoming - and genuine - smile.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, San,” he said, voice soft and reassuring. “Yunho talks a lot about you and Wooyoung is obsessed with your hair so I hope we can get to know each other a bit more this year.”

He was using his nice smile and for once, Wooyoung was glad he had Yeosang by his side. There was no way San wouldn’t feel welcomed in their group of friend with that smile, and Wooyoung was sure that th-

Wait, backtrack. 

Yeosang didn’t just talk about Wooyoung’s obsession with San’s hair - which didn’t exist - to the main interested party.

He _didn’t_ , right ?

But San was pressing his lips in a thin line, obviously trying to suppress a laugh. Mingi was very much laughing, hitting Wooyoung's shoulder in the process and Yeosang, this fucking brat, was _smirking_.

Oh how Wooyoung wished he could sell his best friend and never see him ever again. 

“Wait, no offense San but _I’m not obsessed with his hair_ !” Wooyoung almost yelled the last part to Yeosang. Some heads turn in their direction to frown at him.

“Yes, you are,” Yeosang answered, voice impassive. “I’m sure you’re actually wondering how to ask him what shampoo he’s using without looking weird.”

“I- Uh- th-” Wooyoung spluttered, the tip of his ears rapidly warming up.

Okay, Yeosang got him there. Wooyoung knew his best friend was always right and he should have seen it coming, but he didn't want to give Yeosang this victory and decided to hit his arm multiple times instead. The action was visibly ineffective as Yeosang started to chuckle, a hand hiding his mouth in the most classy way ever.

“They’re best friends,” he heard Yunho say to San and _nope_ , that wouldn’t do.

“Excuse you, he’s my brother !” Wooyoung said way too loudly, turning his attention back to Yunho.

“You’re not blood-related, ” Yunho shot back.

“He’s my brother !!!”

This time, Wooyoung was loud enough that one of their classmates clapped her book loudly on her table, startling Wooyoung and the entire class with him. 

Wooyoung got the hint.

He pursed his lips in a pout and stopped talking at once, lowering his head. Yeosang immediately took his hand.

Wooyoung knew he had to stop being so sensitive but he hated the irritated glares and now he was embarrassed because the mood had been totally broken because of him. A tensed silence settled between them, weighing on Wooyoung’s shoulders. It was all his fault. This was supposed to be the best moment of Yunho’s school life and now Wooyoung was pouting and he ruined everything and-

“It’s a pleasure meeting you,” San’s voice broke through the tension. “You all seem so nice !”

Wooyoung snapped his head up. He wasn’t expecting San to speak, not in the middle of this awkward silence, even less to say such kind words.

And San was looking at him, with the softest smile Wooyoung had ever seen.

“I can’t wait to know more about you.”

Oh. Huh. Okay.

Heat climbed to Wooyoung’s ears as he stared back, unable to think about anything to say in return. Fortunately for him, Mingi was quick to catch on and happily answered to San, engaging the conversation again and pushing aside any remaining tension.

Yunho engulfed San into a bear hug as his friend laughed, the crystal ball almost ended up on the floor when Mingi pulled a bit too hard on the tablecloth, Yeosang looked as done as ever and in the end, Wooyoung managed to brush his embarrassment aside and joined the discussion.

When their professor came into the room and started his class, putting an end to their animated conversation, Wooyoung dared one last glance in San’s direction.

Their eyes met. San smiled.

Wooyoung smiled back.

Maybe he didn’t ruin everything after all.

**Thursday 10, September**

Befriending San was taking a lot of time, but at least they were moving forward.

After their divination class on Monday, San had taken down Mingi’s offer to join them for lunch, politely excusing himself to eat with Jongho instead.

For the next few days, San kept smiling at them pretty often and Wooyoung had decided San’s smile could rival Yunho’s brightest one, which was truly impressive. Their interactions stayed limited though.

Yunho reassured them, confessing he knew things would be slow and that San would take some time to open up. They needed to be patient. He also said San could be a stubborn brat sometimes and they should be grateful his childhood friend didn’t completely ditch them on the very first day.

His words, not Wooyoung’s.

But Wooyoung’s patience was limited. He did his best because Yunho asked him to wait, because he didn’t want to rush San, because he had principles and some self-control.

But it was _San_ , and Wooyoung had been patient for years...

So when classes ended and Wooyoung saw San walking back to the dorms by himself a few meters away from him, he threw out of the window the little amount of patience he had left.

“SAN !” he yelled, not taking any time to think about what he was doing.

He was _still_ not thinking properly when he started sprinting in San’s direction.

Because obviously, screaming at someone you barely knew and running straight to them wasn’t creepy at all, and the best way to befriend said someone.

San noticeably flinched. A reasonable reaction considering Wooyoung’s very loud and very high-pitched voice completely breaking the calm of Beauxbatons’ gardens, but to Wooyoung’s surprise, he also stopped walking. He even turned around, and Wooyoung deflated.

Life wasn't fair.

They were all wearing the same uniform : a cream-colored shirt with puffed sleeves under a pastel blue button suit vest with lots of fancy lace. Pants matching with the vest, going up the waist. A light blue cloak to perfect the look.

And sure, this uniform was lovely and sophisticated, no doubt the best in the wizarding world, but Wooyoung had spent most of his life rummaging through Yeosang’s wardrobe so this outfit didn’t seem _that_ amazing for him.

Why was San looking like a damn model every day then ? He looked impeccable and Wooyoung couldn't even _hope_ to look like that one day. It was something only San and Seonghwa could do. Yeosang as well, if he put some mind into it.

Not fair.

But that was life. At least Wooyoung was gifted with a pretty face too.

He eventually reached San and stopped in front of him, putting his hands on his knees to catch his breath. San didn't say anything, no doubt freaking out because _why the fuck_ would Wooyoung call him and run to him just like that.

“You okay ?” San asked after a few seconds passed and Wooyoung hadn’t lifted his head yet.

He was okay, yeah. Physically at least.

But his mind seemed to work properly again and now he was freaking out.

He was alone with San. Park San. Alone. Right now.

In what kind of mess did he just put himself into ?

He let out a nervous chuckle and mentally slapped himself for being so awkward.

“I’m fine. Sorry I yelled at you out of nowhere,” he managed to say, offering what he hoped was an apologetic smile.

The smile he received in response took all of his worries away.

San had such a pretty smile.

But now wasn’t the time to think about cute smiles and pretty eyes. Wooyoung was a man on a mission. He was here to befriend San.

“Let's walk together ?” he asked, letting the question hang in the air for San to turn him down.

The answer didn’t come right away and Wooyoung dared a glance in San’s direction, only to flinch as soon as he met his eyes.

Being stared at by _the_ Park San was terrifying. Overwhelming. His gaze truly was piercing and despite San’s cute face, Wooyoung was intimidated. He didn’t dare to say anything and tried his best to stay patient and composed, waiting for San to say something back.

“Sure,” he eventually said, and Wooyoung let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

How could a person with such an adorable face have such an intimidating stare ?

The power San held, incredible.

They started walking together, passing next to some fancy shaped trees and a dozen of tiny fountains. The silence settling between them felt a bit weird since Wooyoung wasn’t supposed to be a quiet person, but he was busy doing some cool victory dance in his head. 

San had accepted to walk with him ! San didn’t run away and didn’t ignore him ! They were walking together, like two friends would naturally do on a Thursday after school !

“I see I’m not the only one who has been ditched by his friends,” San interrupted his thoughts with a laugh.

Wooyoung took a few seconds to register San was talking to him.

“Oh I- hum..”

He mentally slapped himself and shook his head. Why the fuck was he so awkward ? _Get a hold of yourself, Jung Wooyoung_.

He tried again.

“Yeah. Seems like Mingi and Jongho are creating another masterpiece.”

San laughed, his eyes forming little crescent and _oh_.

Dimples.

_Dimples !_

“Right ? Don’t tell Jongho but I’m actually eager to hear it. He has been talking about it non-stop and I’m sure it'll turn out being amazing, like always.”

Wooyoung could have told him he wouldn’t say anything to Jongho since he barely knew the guy, but he was still processing the fact that _San had dimples_.

Shiny hair, cute face, cute laugh, and now dimples. Not ! Fair ! 

“I’m sure it’ll be, yeah,” Wooyoung answered without really thinking about what he was saying. 

Because all of a sudden, he realized they were having a normal conversation, meaning he could actually ask San about this mystery he had been thinking about for years.

Wooyoung was not obsessed with San’s hair. It was an important point to remember.

He did need to know what conditioner San was using though, and now was his chance.

“Hey hum,” he started awkwardly.

San glanced at him, one eyebrow rising in anticipation.

Yeah, no. Wooyoung wasn’t going to look at San while asking this. He kept his eyes on the ground instead.

“I've been dying to ask you something for days now but I didn't know how to do it without looking like a weirdo. I promise I'm not obsessed with your hair,” Wooyoung chuckled.

He believed he would still look like a weirdo but now that San was walking by his side, it didn’t seem so bad anymore. The secret of San’s shiny hair was more important.

“I must ask though, what brand do you use ? What kind of shampoo ? It's just- It’s so shiny !”

There, he said it. Fucking finally.

Now he only had to wait for an answer and…

Well.

San didn’t answer.

He didn’t say anything and Wooyoung wanted to dig a hole right here and stay hidden inside for a long, long time. Possibly forever. Oh no, he should have listened to the other little voice in his head who kept telling him asking this wasn’t a good idea. Now he was embarrassed and was certain his ears were turning crimson. He could feel them burning.

“Actually,” San eventually broke the silence, “I don't use any brand. I do it by myself.”

Oh thank goodness he answered, Wooyoung could finally relax and-

_Wait, what ?_

“Wait, what ?” Wooyoung asked, incredulous. “How do you do that ?” 

“With soap, flowers, plants... Stuff like that.”

Wooyoung blinked a few times.

“No magic ?”

San shook his head. He was smiling again, dimples out.

“I like trying natural things and there really is no need for magic when you have plants and flowers,” he said, pointing at some pink flowers they just passed by.

Wooyoung was utterly shocked. Sure, the guy was interesting, this point had been clear a while ago. But this ? It was such a tiny detail about his life but why did it make San go from ‘ _mysterious and interesting’_ to ‘ _who the fuck is this guy’_ on Wooyoung's ‘get to know people’ list ? The list didn't exist, but still ?

Wooyoung cleared his throat and tried his best not to sound as startled as he was.

“That's... That's actually pretty cool. You should talk with Yeosang, he's totally obsessed with plants. You two could give each other some anecdotes, advice or whatever it is you flowers people like to talk about.”

They entered an area full of perfectly looked after flower beds, the one place Wooyoung hated the most in this entire garden. Too many butterflies _and_ an overwhelming scent.

A soft smile was tugging at San’s lips.

Okay, that wasn’t so bad. If San was still smiling, that meant Wooyoung didn’t screw up yet.

“Then I'm assuming the perfume you use is plant-based too ?” he allowed himself to continue the conversation.

At that question, San's eyebrows perked up. He sent Wooyoung a weird look, staring at him for a few seconds before looking back in front of him.

Did he do something wrong ? He screwed up, didn’t he ? Shit. He had been doing such a good job until then...

But no.

Slowly, an amused smile formed at the corner of San’s mouth.

Wooyoung already knew he wouldn’t appreciate what San was about to say.

“I don't wear perfume.”

Wooyoung’s mind went totally blank.

What did he just say ?

…

No way.

San did _not_ just say he wasn't using any perfume. He did not. It wasn’t possible, not when the dude smelled like _that._ He couldn't be gifted by nature on so many points, it wasn't fair.

And did Wooyoung just indirectly say San smelled good ? To San ? Like, right now, in front of him ? Now, that was embarrassing. Wooyoung wanted to run away and hide behind Yunho’s broad shoulders forever because really, things weren’t supposed to turn like this. They were supposed to have a friendly walk back to the dorms but Wooyoung was making a fool of himself and he was the only one to blame.

What a mess.

Embarrassment must have been obvious on Wooyoung's face because San let out a cute giggle, immediately tearing Wooyoung out from his panicked thoughts. That was the cutest giggle Wooyoung ever heard. _What the fuck ?_

“Thank you,” San simply said in the end.

Wooyoung observed him for a moment, taking in everything that had just happened. For some reason, he had a feeling the thank-you wasn’t only about the indirect compliment.

San was smiling. And Wooyoung felt himself smiling too.

What a great way to end the day.

They didn't talk much after that, mostly because their walk was coming to an end as they arrived in front of the three mansions.

“I’ll see you around ?” San asked as they stopped walking. His soft smile was still on his lips and Wooyoung nodded.

“Yeah. It was nice talking with you, San.”

They smiled at each other one last time before San gave him a little wave of the hand, turning around to walk to his dorm. He disappeared inside a few seconds later.

Wooyoung definitely wanted to be San’s friend now. More than ever. He needed to know more, wanted to know how much more interesting San could be.

And how much more he could embarrass himself too because really, that had been impressive.

With a stupid smile stuck on his face, Wooyoung made his way into his dorm.

He couldn’t wait to talk to San again.

**Saturday 12, September**

It finally stopped raining. Turned out the dark clouds from this morning decided they didn't want to pour all of their content on the school and gave their place to a perfect blue sky. The wind was still cold and Wooyoung kept shivering but at least the sun was now shining and Wooyoung could go outside without fearing for his hair. Not that he cared that much about it but he did style it a bit this morning and he really didn't want his work to go to waste.

In the end, his hair was ruined anyway because he and Yeosang decided to spend their afternoon together and went on a walk with their horses.

This was one of the things Wooyoung liked about Saturdays. The walks with Yeosang. They didn't talk much during these but it would always warm Wooyoung's heart to spend time alone with his best friend. It was their moment and even if Wooyoung loved Mingi and Yunho more than anyone, he felt the need to have his best friend for himself from time to time. 

These walks weren't a routine or mandatory thing. They would usually do it when they felt the need to, once or twice a month probably. They would leave for however long they wanted, going anywhere, simply enjoying the presence of each other and having a good time with their horses.

Yeosang aside, Wooyoung loved the peaceful atmosphere of these afternoons. The calm of the deserted meadows surrounding their school, the pleasing sensation to be free. Here, he could let his mind wander and totally let go of his thoughts. He could do whatever he wanted, at least for a few hours.

Sometimes, he and Yeosang would start to race and nobody would win because they would be laughing too much. These were what Wooyoung liked the most ; when Fée, his beautiful horse, stopped her trot and started to race.

He could feel so many things.

The wind brushing his face, his hair floating in the air, the feeling of freedom… He felt like _flying_. Wooyoung loved this sensation, more than anything.

And he loved his horse. Well, she was Yeosang's but he had two of them so Wooyoung had gotten the permission to spend as much time as he wanted with Fée. Wooyoung didn't know anything about horses, but Fée was definitely the best, that was it. With her brown, shining robe, piercing eyes and elegant posture, she was always here to cheer Wooyoung up when he was feeling down and constantly eager to go on a walk with him.

Wooyoung loved Fée so much.

He was still lost in his thoughts when he noticed Yeosang was talking to him. His brain couldn't process any information yet so he didn't understand a word his best friend had just said.

“Huh ?”

Rolling his eyes, Yeosang pointed in front of them, somewhere in the middle of the flower field. He reiterated his question.

“Isn't it San over there ?”

Now, Wooyoung's brain was awake. He squinted his eyes a bit, quietly cursing himself for not wearing his glasses more often.

And Yeosang had been right.

San was there, sitting directly on the ground, hidden between a multitude of wildflowers. He seemed to be drawing, totally oblivious of whatever was happening around him. Just like Wooyoung and Yeosang, he had let go of his school uniform for something more comfortable. His white shirt was floating with the wind.

He looked peaceful.

Wooyoung and Yeosang looked at each other, silently concerting about what to do next. Yeosang was the one who made a decision. He shrugged, breaking eye contact with Wooyoung and without any warning he made his horse gallop, abandoning Wooyoung behind him.

“Y- Wait for me ?!” Wooyoung yelled, quickly getting a hold of himself and following his best friend.

After a few seconds of gallop, they reached the field of wildflowers. San raised his head as soon as he heard them coming.

“Hey San,” Yeosang greeted, halting his horse a few meters away from San. The latter waved at them, a soft smile forming on his lips.

“Horses...” He abandoned his sketchbook on the ground and stood up, looking interested.

Wooyoung was used to people being curious about their horses. He expected San to come closer to look at them properly.

He wasn’t expecting San to keep his distances from them though. Usually, people came running to stroke their horses, even when they weren’t invited to. Was he scared ?

Seeing Wooyoung didn’t seem willing to answer, Yeosang continued the conversation.

“Yeah, I can thank my father a lot for that,” he chuckled delicately, hiding his lips behind his hand like he always did. San returned his smile but his gaze never left Yeosang’s horse.

Yup, San definitely liked horses. Might as well ask.

“Wanna try ?”

Almost instantly, San shook his head. Blonde strands fell on his forehead in the process, messing his hair a bit. Wooyoung raised his eyebrows, confused. He wasn’t expecting this answer, but San hastened to explain himself.

“I like horses a lot but they don't seem to like me.”

That explained a lot. And nothing at all.

If horses, or animals in general, could love someone, it was San. Soft, calm, kind San. There was a certain aura around him that made you believe you could trust him, and Wooyoung was certain animals could feel it too. At least Fée could.

“I'm sure Fée likes you ! She's Yeosang's nicest horse !”

“How many times do I have to say she's yours now, not mine.”

Wooyoung didn’t need to look at Yeosang to know he was rolling his eyes. Nevertheless, he chose to not raise it and gave his entire attention to San.

He didn’t look convinced.

“It’s okay, I won’t force you,” Wooyoung tried to reassure him, “but if you change your mind one day, don’t hesitate to tell me !”

Yeosang coughed.

“Us ! Don’t hesitate to tell us !” Wooyoung quickly added. Ugh.

Yeosang snorted and Wooyoung mentally slapped himself. He really was doomed to make a fool of himself every time he spoke to San, didn’t he ?

San offered his usual soft smile, nodding.

That was when Wooyoung noticed his soon-to-be-friend wasn’t watching the horses anymore, but _him_. San’s intense gaze was stuck on _Wooyoung_.

And Wooyoung freaked out.

“W-well.” Did he really stutter ?! “We’ll get going then. It was nice seeing you San, have a nice afternoon !”

And with that, he took his leave. At full tilt.

He didn’t hear whatever Yeosang said to San before leaving, but his best friend caught him up quickly. Wooyoung could _feel_ the intrigued look on him without seeing it.

“What,” he asked, even if he didn’t want an answer.

“Your ears are red,” Yeosang noticed. “Why are your ears red ?”

Stupid fucking blushing ears. Wooyoung dared a glance in Yeosang’s direction but regretted it immediately. His best friend was wearing a smirk so mischievous Wooyoung felt a sudden flush on his cheeks as well as the burning sensation in his ears.

Stupid Yeosang and his stupid _ugly_ smirks.

Wooyoung decided it was preferable to ignore him. He, himself, didn’t know why his ears decided to change color without warning him. What was the point of talking about it with Yeosang ? This guy existed only to make Wooyoung’s life miserable.

Avoiding any eye contact with his best friend, Wooyoung and Fée continued their race in the green meadow.

And while the wind was intensely blowing in his ears and cut him from the world surrounding him, Wooyoung made a promise to himself.

One day, he would bring San on a ride with Fée. For sure.

  
  


**Sunday 13, September**

It was Sunday, and Wooyoung had nothing to do.

He went to the ballroom in the morning to work on his routine for a few hours but at some point, his body screamed for him to stop and he decided to listen to it rather than hurting himself. He knew, by experience, that overworking led to more bad than good.

Yeosang had ditched him for his books and Mingi went on a trip to the villages with his roommates. Wooyoung didn’t have enough energy to deal with his own roommates and he kind of needed help with his potion assignment so he decided to pay Yunho a little visit, knowing his friend hadn’t moved from his dorm today.

Books tucked under his arm, Wooyoung crossed the garden separating his dorm from the Neige one.

At first, students didn't have the right to come into other colors dorms. But as years passed and people forgot about this rule, the headmaster chose to change it a bit. Now, students had the right to come and go in any dorms during the day but a curfew was set and no student could come out of their own dorm past 10 PM. Wooyoung couldn't deny he was annoyed by this rule because he would love to do sleepovers with his best friends, but he could understand it since that was exactly the kind of behavior their school wanted to avoid. And his friends were a mess so it was probably for the best. They could do all the mess they wanted during the day so in the end, things were fine.

Once he opened the massive door of the Neige dorm, Wooyoung got slapped in the face by the brightness of its white walls. It had been years since he had started coming here and he spent a crazy amount of time in Yunho’s dorm, but the whiteness of it all still shook Wooyoung to this day.

Some Second Year pushed him to exit and Wooyoung blinked a few times, remembering he didn’t come here to admire white walls.

He crossed the common room and ran up the stairs, trying his best to ignore the intense stares of the many paintings decorating the walls of the dorm. If there was one thing he liked about being a Sixth Year, it was the fact he didn’t have to climb four floors anymore. Only three. Wooyoung was an athletic boy, but climbing these stairs many times every day was a pain in the ass and one of the many reasons he spent as much time as possible in common rooms.

Just as he passed the corner leading to Yunho’s room, he almost ran into someone and smoothly moved aside, preventing a disaster. His books fell on the white carpet in the process and Wooyoung was about to laugh it off when his heart suddenly stopped.

 _San_.

It was San, the person Wooyoung almost ran into.

And San was crying.

Wooyoung was too startled to react and San mumbled a simple “ _sorry_ ” with a broken voice, before he continued his way. His sniffles echoed in the empty hallway and lingered in the air until they disappeared a few seconds later.

What.

Wooyoung took his books back from the floor, mind foggy.

He ran to Yunho’s room.

“What’s going on, why is San crying ?” he yelled as soon as he swung the door open, making Yunho flinch when the golden doorknob hit the wall.

No roommates in sight. Good.

Not that he cared that much but entering a room without asking and banging the door open wasn’t very polite and Wooyoung was too lazy to deal with civilized social interactions today.

Yunho snorted as he stood up. “Hello to you too.”

He stretched out a bit, the tip of his forefinger almost touching the crystal chandelier hanging above his head. The dorms were probably the only place of Beauxbatons where Yunho could touch the ceiling if he jumped.

Ceilings were just way too high in this school.

“This room is cute, I really hope you won’t destroy one of its walls again this year,” Yunho continued as he came to Wooyoung’s side to inspect the piece of wall the door had hit.

Wooyoung groaned.

“Don’t ignore my question !” he complains, making his way to Yunho’s bed and sitting on his fluffy cushion. “Is San okay ?”

Yunho looked at him with a strange look, closing the door. Wooyoung waited patiently for him to answer, watching his friend sit on the bed too, in front of him.

“It’s weird to see you worrying about my childhood friend. I’m still not used to the fact you’re becoming friends,” Yunho chuckled and Wooyoung immediately felt himself relaxing.

If Yunho was laughing, it means San was okay. Or at least, okay enough.

“He had a talk with Seonghwa that didn’t go too well this morning,” Yunho eventually explained. “He refused to talk to me about it but it clearly was bothering him.”

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow.

“Shouldn’t you stay with him ?”

“Are you implying I’m a bad friend ?” Yunho asked back, the corner of his mouth going up in a smirk.

“Yes ?”

Wooyoung deserved the cushion that was thrown at his face.

“He asked for some alone time and said he needed fresh air. You know I’d have followed him otherwise,” Yunho said, taking the cushion back.

Of course he knew. Yunho had always been an amazing friend and it wasn’t going to change anytime soon. Certainly not about San.

“Anyway. What are you doing here ? Not a fan of Yeosang’s book party ?” Yunho teased and Wooyoung groaned. He had been so surprised by the San situation he actually forgot he had been here for a reason. Yunho’s question made him realize he was still holding his books.

He shoved them into Yunho’s face with an innocent pout.

“Help me ?”

He knew he had lost as soon as Yunho looked up at him with an apologetic smile.

“Why don’t you ask Yeosang about this kind of stuff,” Yunho asked as he lay down on his bed, his long leg exceeding the mattress. “He’s good at potion.”

Wooyoung let out a long sigh, any strength in his arms leaving him and he let the books fall on the white sheets of Yunho’s bed.

“He’s good at brewing. He’s shit for the rest.”

“I’m shit at everything,” Yunho answered with a snicker and Wooyoung knew his friend wasn’t the best at potion but he had hoped for a bit of help. He genuinely needed it.

He also knew he had no right forcing his friend to help his dumb ass.

He sighed, trying to hide his sudden mood switch as he settled the books on the small table in white marble next to Yunho’s bed. He had already been on the edge of failing last year. There was no way he could catch up now that the level was higher. He could already hear his father disappointed lectures and the menaces to take him away from this school, away from his friends and-

“Hey,” Yunho called and Wooyoung turned to him, just as his friend was taking his wrist and pulling him toward the mattress. “Come here, let’s cuddle.”

That made Wooyoung smile.

Of course, Yunho had noticed the disappointment on Wooyoung’s face. And now he probably felt bad for turning him down.

“Sorry for being moppy. I’m just scared I’m going to fail this one,” Wooyoung confessed as he settled himself in Yunho’s embrace, putting his head on his friend’s chest.

Wooyoung loved cuddles. He cuddled Yeosang a lot, Mingi too when he could, but Yunho’s hugs were just the best.

His friend’s grip tightened around him.

“Don’t apologize, you brat. We should work on this assignment all together, it’ll be easier with more brains,” Yunho said and Wooyoung wanted to cry because his friend was so precious and so kind.

Wooyoung loved his friends _so much_.

“Yeah, we should do that.” He smiled against Yunho, exhaling deeply.

Things would be fine, because he had his friends with him.

“Thank you, Yun.”

Yeah. Things would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YUNWOO CUDDLES 🖤  
> Twitter & Tumblr : steolftero


	4. September : Week 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst is slowly starting... Maybe...

**???**

_There was no sound._

_He went down the stairs, darkness engulfing him a bit more each step, a cold feeling taking over his body. It felt familiar yet so distant. The more he went down, the less real things seemed. He reached the last step, and his feet touched the ground. A hard, cold ground._

_He heard noises._

_Screams, whines, whispers._

_They came from here and there, melting together, brushing his ears and lingering in the distance. Close yet so far. Familiar yet unknown._

_He took a step into the darkness._

_He walked, and walked, but there was nothing..._

_… Until he perceived thin metal bars, perfectly settled one next to the other._

_Cells._

_Hands snaked in and out between the bars, their fingers bloody, their nails long and sharp. They were trying to catch him, trying to trap him._

_He ran._

_Darkness again._

_He fell on his knees, no sound echoing when he touched the ground._

_Tears were running down his face, but he couldn’t hear his sobs._

_Everything was so quiet. Too quiet._

_“I’m really sorry. It’s okay, it won’t hurt.”_

_The voice was sweet, appeasing. Warm._

_He closed his eyes, letting go of his fears, allowing warmth to spread into his body._

_There was something tickling his mind, weaving in and out between his thoughts, something dark._

_The voice had lied._

_It hurt._

**Friday 18 , September**

San started sitting with them at mealtimes. Jongho was here as well, always by San’s side, and Yunho could lie all he wanted, Wooyoung knew the sight of his childhood friend and his little brother sitting with his closest friends warmed his heart. His smile was as bright as ever and his eyes were constantly shining, no matter how much he bickered with his brother or got his food stolen by his childhood friend.

They were still moving at an agonizingly slow pace though.

During the first few meals spent at their table, San and Jongho didn’t talk much with the rest of them - Yunho being the exception. They kept their conversations between themselves, San laughing at everything Jongho would say, occasionally stealing food from his plate. They seemed content, alone in their little world, completely oblivious of anything happening around them. As much as Wooyoung wished to bond with San, he never dared to interrupt the two best friends.

Things were moving slowly, but _forward_. Even if their discussions were limited, Wooyoung exchanged many smiles with San since the beginning of the week and it made him wonder if San was as eager to get to know him as Wooyoung was to befriend San. Maybe Wooyoung wasn’t the only awkward one, scared of messing something up. The thought made him weirdly happy.

On Wednesday morning, as they were eating breakfast, Jongho and Mingi started talking about their music project. Yeosang took this sudden opportunity to talk to San, initiating a conversation about some rare flowers he had seen in the gardens.

It had been the turning point, the last factor that broke San’s shell and helped him warm up to them.

After that, Wooyoung found a few opportunities to walk alone with San back to the dorm or to one of their shared classes. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for them to get closer and learn a bit more about each other. San was easy to talk to, fun, and extremely nice. They already shared many laughs and came to the mutual agreement Yeosang was some sort of demon sentenced to live on earth. Wooyoung was positive they were friends now.

San still looked sad though.

There was clearly something on his mind that kept preventing him from laughing at his fullest, something that caused him to lose himself in his thoughts and stop smiling when he thought no one was looking.

Things were worse when Seonghwa was in the picture. San’s smile would drop and he would stay stuck into his own head for a while until someone could manage to tear him away from his thoughts.

He seemed fine when he was with Jongho or Jongho. Or any of them, now that Wooyoung really thought about it.

Wooyoung hoped he would stay fine.

\----------

History of Magic. A boring class with an even more boring teacher.

Wooyoung actually liked the subject ; when he was younger, he would read entire books about the battle of Hogwarts, how their ancestors had started their lives in the magic universe, how this or that had been discovered. Now, finishing one chapter from a book was arduous. He much preferred talking with friends about random things while stuffing his stomach with unhealthy snacks.

Studying History of Magic at school was _torturous_. He had the same professor for the third year in a row and honestly, he had almost cried when he had learned he would spend another year with him. Since Wooyoung already knew most of the subject and Yeosang would force him to study with him later anyway, his biggest challenge during this lesson was to stay awake and to look interested in whatever the old man was saying.

Wooyoung wasn’t the only one struggling though. In the middle of the room, two rows in front of him, Yunho was absentmindedly doodling on his notebook, his cheek squished against his palm. He dozed off a few times, waking up right before his head could crash on the table. Every single time, Yeosang snickered, receiving a death glare in response - Yunho’s death glares weren’t really threatening.

How did Wooyoung and Yeosang manage to sit next to each other when their boring teacher decided on the sitting arrangements by himself, Wooyoung didn’t know. Yeosang had probably something to do with it, but Wooyoung knew better than to ask him how he did that. He chose to believe they had been lucky.

A few more minutes passed and he was seriously considering smacking his head on the table to break his nose and take a nap in the infirmary when he suddenly had a stroke of genius.

He tore off a piece of paper from his notebook and started writing on it, giggling to himself. He received a weird look from Yeosang but decided to ignore him, putting his pen back on the table and folding the paper. He took out his wand, waited for his professor to turn around to write on the board and…

“ _Wingardium Leviosa_."

With a skilled swing of the wrist, he made the folded paper fly.

“Oh come on, not again,” he heard Yeosang mumble, but his best friend was clearly smiling behind his hand. Wooyoung chuckled as he kept his eyes on the paper making it fly above the head of his classmates.

He noticed Yunho following its route with curious eyes until Wooyoung put down his wand and the paper fell on San’s desk.

Yunho turned around, probably searching for the owner of the paper, and Wooyoung couldn’t help but wink. Snorting, his friend turned back to observe San who was sitting on the first row, completely on the left, and Wooyoung did the same.

San seemed confused, staring at the paper with a frown.

Wooyoung knew Yunho never sent any paper to San. They had done it a whole lot between themselves, and Mingi and Wooyoung were always the ones being caught because they were usually too loud and didn’t know anything about discretion, but Wooyoung had never seen any paper flying towards San. Wooyoung couldn’t blame his friend for that, Yunho knew San well enough. From what he had said about his childhood friend, San would have simply nodded and made him know he would answer later, after class. He was _the_ model student of their promotion after all.

But that was months, years ago. If San really was changing as Yunho told him some days ago, then maybe, _maybe_ he would not react that way now...

As if he was reading Wooyoung’s mind, San suddenly took the paper and unfolded it to read its content. A tiny smile appeared on his lips and Wooyoung couldn’t stop the joy bubbling up in his chest at the sight.

Discreetly, San turned to look at him and Wooyoung gave him his proudest smile.

His friend let out a soft giggle, quickly realizing it had been louder than expected and they both glanced at their professor in slight panic. Said professor didn’t even flinch.

They looked back at each other and giggled again, more discreetly this time. A second later, San was writing down on the paper, dimples on full display.

As their professor was still scribbling on the board - at this point Wooyoung was certain the entire lesson was written there - San skillfully sent the piece of paper back to Wooyoung. He didn’t bother using magic to make it fly and his aim had been _perfect_ but Yunho, being Yunho, changed the direction of the paper with the help of his wand, making it fall on his own desk instead.

Annoying ass friend.

Wooyoung grumbled a few curses and Yeosang discreetly chuckled next to him, no doubt enjoying his frustration.

Yunho took his time to unfold the paper, read it, scoff, before writing down something with his own pen. Eventually, he sent the paper back to its rightful owner.

Impatience making his hands clammy, Wooyoung unfolded the paper. Yunho’s messy handwriting was following San’s neat one. 

_Woo - you’re supposed to sleep on a bed, not on your desk_

_San - My eyes were taking a nap, let them be. I am totally awake._

_Yun - you look like the sloth in this muggle movie, the one with animals  
I forgot the title…_

When Wooyoung raised his head up, both Yunho and San were looking at him expectantly. 

Well, he didn’t have any choice then, he had to continue.

He took his pen and scribbled his own answer, squeezing the words in the empty space under Yunho’s sentences.

_Woo - I never watched any muggle movies_

With a dramatic eye roll, he sent the paper back to Yunho, knowing too damn well his friend would never give him the peace he wanted to discuss with San alone.

Yunho read the paper and gasped. Wooyoung giggled.

Yunho wrote, Yeosang yawned.

Yunho sent, San read.

And that was how they spent the next hour sending each other papers back and forth behind their professor's back.

_Yun - what the heck ? okay we have to do something about that_

_San - I didn't either. But sloths are cute, Wooyoung isn't._

_Yun - oh my god we definitely have to do something that's a serious matter_

_Woo - ??? uh I breathed ? well then you're not cute either you dumb blond person_

_Yun - ‘you dumb blond person’ ekjejhrjkhze this is the worst ‘insult’ you've ever said wth I can’t even say it’s an insult  
anyway san is cute you can’t lie to yourself_

_San - (Yunho stop being so talkative challenge)  
I totally am._

_Yun - (shut up)  
he totally is_

_Yeo - He totally is._

_Woo - wow. I see how it is. what happened to you san ? you were all soft giggles and kind smiles and now you're... you're..._

_Yun - the real san. and to be honest he's still very soft with you two. he's actually a demon when you get to know him_

_San - I don't see what you're talking about Yunho, I'm an angel._

_Yun - lol_

_Woo - now I'm scared ? should I be scared ?_

_Yun - yes_

_San - No._

_Yun - haha now yeosang has to circle the right answer_

_Yeo - Shut the fuck up._

They stopped only because they were all - minus Yeosang, giggling like idiots now - and their professor was getting suspicious. Wooyoung got rid of their papers and they all tried to turn their attention back to the lesson.

If Wooyoung couldn’t stop his eyes from closing before, now he couldn’t stop his lips from smiling.

**Saturday 19, September**

“San. You’re bleeding.”

Wooyoung had been engrossed by the different types of pepper strewn over his steak when Yunho’s voice tore him away from his spice analysis. The words hadn’t fully reached his brain but he looked up anyway, searching for San’s face.

_Bleeding...?_

San had been talking with Yeosang since they sat together for lunch, almost forgetting to eat if it wasn’t for Jongho occasionally stealing potatoes from his plate and stuffing it in San’s mouth without any gentleness.

Whatever their discussion was about, it halted at Yunho’s words. Yeosang never finished his sentence and stopped cutting his meat to glance at San, just like everyone did at their table.

San was indeed bleeding.

It wasn’t much though, just a nosebleed. Wooyoung was about to offer him some tissue and brush it off but Jongho was faster.

“I told you you looked sick this morning !” Jongho complained as he took his napkin and shoved it in San’s face. The gesture hadn’t been tender at all, but he gently tapped under San’s nose a second later.

Jongho’s way of showing love was weird, but at least it seemed sincere.

“No, you told me I was ugly,” San mumbled, his voice partially muffled by the napkin covering his mouth.

“That too.”

Jongho pinched San’s nose, resulting in them bickering again and Wooyoung snorted as he went back to his plate. San was in good hands, and it was just a nosebleed. No need to worry.

Except Yunho was worrying. Or at least, it seemed so. The potato he had stabbed with his fork was back on his plate and he was now staring at San with a frown.

The sight made Wooyoung frown too. Was something wrong ?

“Are you okay ?” Yunho suddenly asked.

After a few hits on Jongho’s wrist and three complaints, San eventually understood the question had been directed at him. He quickly put his two thumbs up, throwing a reassuring smile to his childhood friend.

“I’m all good ! It’s just a nosebleed, Yun.”

Yunho didn’t look convinced at all and somehow, it worried Wooyoung too.

“You never got a nosebleed San. Are you sick or something ?”

San’s smile dropped instantly. He frowned, looking as confused as Yunho before he put a hand on Jongho’s wrist, silently asking him to lower his hand.

“I don’t think so ?”

He didn’t look so sure, but he didn’t seem _that_ bothered either. Once Jongho let go of his nose and took the napkin away, San did some weird thing with his mouth. It took Wooyoung a few seconds to understand San was actually checking if the flow was still going on.

A bright smile spread on San’s face a second later.

“Look, it stopped !” he exclaimed happily.

“You’re still ugly,” Jongho answered, quickly using a Cleaning Charm on San’s face and on the bloody napkin. A second later, the two best friends were bickering again.

Both Mingi and Yeosang went back to their plates with smiles on their faces.

Yunho was still looking at San with a frown.

Wooyoung knew his friend was protective but this was beyond anything he had seen since they were friends. It was _just a nosebleed_. Why did he seem so worked up about a _nosebleed_ ? It hadn’t even lasted long, Yunho clearly needed to chill.

He was about to tell Yunho just that when his friend seemed to _actually_ chill and looked away, coming back to his forgotten potatoes. He was still frowning, but Wooyoung knew it wouldn’t last long. As soon as he would put food in his mouth, all of his worries would wash away.

“Are we still agreeing on helping Woo’s ass tomorrow ?” Mingi suddenly asked only to choke on a green bean a second later.

Yeosang snickered as he patted his friend’s back, offering him a glass of water with his free hand. As soon as Mingi reached for the glass, Yeosang threw its content at his face before putting the glass back on the table as if nothing happened. Mingi screamed in indignation, but at least he stopped choking.

San and Jongho were still bickering on the other side of the table, over food now.

Yeosang sighed, filling Mingi’s glass with water again. “I would gladly spend my Sunday morning without seeing your faces but yeah, we’re still helping.”

“You’ll have to help me with Arithmancy,” Mingi said, nodding toward Wooyoung.

Wooyoung snickered, and so did Yunho next to him.

“Nobody would willingly help with Arithmancy Mingi. You’re alone on that,” Yunho finally talked, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

His plate was already empty so Wooyoung had been right. A full stomach was always the solution.

“But we’re willing to help Woo without any complaints ?” Mingi asked, visibly offended.

“Isn't it normal ?” Wooyoung said back and Yunho snorted in his glass, splashing some water around and on Mingi’s face.

If they ended up doing a water fight and getting two hours in the dungeon in punishment because of said water fight - though Jongho and San left before things got out of hand - it really wasn’t Wooyoung's fault.

**Sunday 20, September**

Just as they had promised, Yunho, Mingi and Yeosang arranged their Sunday morning to study together and help Wooyoung with his potion lessons. They had settled on one of the wooden tables of the library to work, their papers and books a big mess on the polished surface of the table.

His friends were amazing and always eager to help, but just as Yunho reminded him a week ago, they were awfully bad at tutoring. After an entire hour of struggle, Wooyoung had been the one who pushed them away from his potion book to work by himself. The simple sight of potions ingredients almost made him burst into tears, but he kept it in and tried his best to do _something_ out of it.

Some agonizing hours later, Wooyoung started struggling to concentrate. His paper wasn’t even halfway done yet it felt like he had worked for days, and he couldn’t help but feel like a total failure each time he looked at what he had written so far.

This was disastrous.

He needed a break or he would break down right here, in front of his friends and the entire library. He kind of wanted to avoid such a situation.

He had been following the trajectory of the golden ornaments on the white bookshelves for a few minutes when San entered the library. All heads turned to look at him, Wooyoung being no exception.

As always, San looked stunning. He was wearing some shorts in white linen and a long-sleeved shirt in the same fabric, falling to his thighs and floating in the air with each step he took. Wooyoung felt underdressed with his oversized black shirt and the ripped jeans his father hated so much, but he tried to convince himself his outfit was fine for a morning study session.

Plus he looked hot in black.

San sat at their table with a bright smile, giving Yunho a quick hug before he started putting his school stuff out of his bag.

Two minutes later, he was offering his help to study.

And Wooyoung had _never_ been eager to work for school. If he could avoid it forever, let his potion paper aside, or burn it while laughing diabolically, he definitely would. But he couldn’t, and he was desperate. So when he almost jumped on the table to be sure San would help him first, he didn’t feel any shame. Mingi whined and Yeosang scoffed, but Wooyoung didn’t care. San was already opening his potion book to help.

He was a blessing.

Yunho could lie as much as he wanted, San was definitely _not_ a demon ; he was an angel.

Wooyoung didn’t keep track of the time but he was pretty sure they worked for hours on his paper. After a while, San gave him some instructions and forced him to write the final paragraph entirely by himself.

It went strangely well. No pulling of his hair, no sudden pressing need to burst into tears. Somehow, he could understand what he was writing and didn’t feel like he was scribbling nonsense just to fill the page. This new feeling was more than welcome.

Once he was done with his paper and overall feeling content, he allowed himself to take a short break as San was now helping a struggling Mingi with Arithmancy.

That was the moment Hongjoong and Seonghwa chose to enter the room, hand in hand.

And Wooyoung melted. 

“Cutest couple of the century is here how am I supposed to concentrate now,” he complained, more to himself than for his friends as he put his cheek on his palm, looking at the couple.

“You’re done with your paper, what do you need to concentrate for,” Mingi mumbled, face buried into his Arithmancy book and eyebrows furrowed in a funny way.

The two Eight Years sat down a few tables away from them and started studying as soon as Seonghwa opened his notebook. They looked cute, just the two of them, having some cute time together to study. Cutely.

Wooyoung let out a happy sigh and heard a muffled giggle not so far from him.

“Hm,” Yunho coughed, disrupting Wooyoung’s cute thoughts and forcing him to look back at his friends. “Quick reminder that San, _Seonghwa’s brother_ , is right here.”

Wooyoung froze.

_Oh._

Well.

Remember when Wooyoung made a fool of himself in front of San a week ago ? Apparently, it wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

Heat climbed so fast to Wooyoung’s ears he got scared they would melt, but maybe it would be for the best so he would have an excuse to run away. He tried to defend himself but the words weren’t getting out, and Yeosang and Mingi were snickering behind their books, only making things worse.

He hated his friends with a passion.

“Hey, it’s okay.” San came to his rescue, hiding his amused smile behind his hand. “I think they’re very cute too.”

He winked.

Were angels supposed to wink _while smirking_ ? The sight didn’t help Wooyoung’s burning ears at all.

Yunho scoffed. “You’re really too soft with him.”

“That’s because he’s cute,” San replied.

Wooyoung’s soul ascended.

He whined pitifully, hiding his face in his arms as his friends laughed at his poor state. Now he needed a plan so the earth could swallow him and he would never have to face them ever again. He was _not_ being dramatic. He needed a moment.

“Our Wooyoungie sure is cute hmm ?” Yeosang chuckled as he poked his burning ears.

Wooyoung wished he could break his pretty nose.

It took some time, but his friends eventually stopped teasing him when they realized he wouldn’t react anyway. He managed to calm himself and his ears seemed to be back to normal, but he stayed hidden in his arms for the sole reason he had some Herbology definitions to learn and didn’t want to study anymore. Not after hours of studying potions and certainly not after being called _cute_ by a _cute boy_.

He must have fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes and lifted his head, San was gathering his stuff.

“-promised some bonding time with Jongho.” Wooyoung caught San’s words through his foggy mind.

“You’re always having bonding times with Jongho ! Are you aware reading books is not a fun way to spend time with your best friend ?” Yunho complained.

He sounded whiny but helped San anyway, gathering his pens in his pencil-case. Maybe Wooyoung was still too far gone in dreamland, but he was pretty sure Yunho’s words didn’t match his actions.

“It totally is,” San answered and if Wooyoung had been totally awake, he would have gasped because _ew_ , no, reading books with your best friend wasn’t fun at all. Wooyoung’s own best friend was a crazy bookworm. It would never be fun. “And the cuddles, Yun. It’s a package. You read the book, you have cuddles.”

Yunho made a face. “I don’t want to cuddle Jongho.”

San let out a cute little giggle as he threw all of his stuff in his bag without an ounce of care. He struggled to close it though. “Too bad, he does the best hugs.”

“I thought I was the best hugger ?”

Yunho definitely was the best hugger.

“You’re the second best !” San clarified. He eventually managed to close his bag, smiling proudly at his work before he settled it around his shoulder.

“I can’t believe that !” Yunho objected.

Wooyoung couldn’t either, there was no way someone could be a better deal than Yunho for cuddles. He was all big body and soft boy, Wooyoung loved cuddling him.

But then again, San was talking about _Jongho_ , and Jongho was Yunho’s brother… Was it weird wanting to cuddle someone you barely knew ? Just to try ?

San patted Yunho’s head with a teasing smile, receiving a playful pout in return. He giggled again and waved at them all, saying something Wooyoung couldn’t quite catch. ‘ _Bye bye_ ’ or ‘ _See you later_ ’, he guessed. He was still processing the giggle and a lot of other things, and the fog was still consuming his mind.

But then, San turned around and started walking out and Wooyoung’s brain decided now was the time to fully wake up.

Wooyoung’s brain being ready to function again didn’t mean _Wooyoung_ was though. When the only thought crossing his mind was ‘ _I don’t want him to leave_ ’, his body acted without Wooyoung really knowing what he was doing.

He stood up in a rush, startling Yeosang next to him and almost making his chair fall down, but he barely noticed any of that. He quickly caught up with San and the next thing he knew, he was grabbing his wrist.

San turned around, eyebrows raising as he looked at Wooyoung with his intense, curious eyes. Wooyoung gulped. What was he supposed to do now ?

“Are you free this afternoon ?” he blurted out. “We could go see Fée together… Or something ?”

He wanted to slap himself as soon as the words were out. Could someone help him stop being such a mess ? He had no idea what he was doing.

He did want to spend some time with San, but he could have waited for the occasion to come, allow things to go naturally. But no, his brain, mind, or whatever was up there in his head decided to rush things and make a fool out of him _again_.

Yeosang wasn’t his worst enemy. Wooyoung himself was.

A soft smile appeared on San’s lips and Wooyoung took back all of his hateful thoughts.

“Sure,” San said, his shining eyes intense as he stared into Wooyoung’s. “I’ll see you after lunch ?”

“Y-Yeah. See you then,” he managed to answer in the end, even putting on a small smile.

He eventually noticed he had kept San’s wrist in his hand and let go of it abruptly, the feeling of San’s skin against his almost burning him. San didn’t seem to mind though, and he kept his smile as he waved one last time at Wooyoung before walking away.

Wooyoung let him go this time.

Once San had disappeared behind the white doors of the library, Wooyoung came back to the table. His friends were looking at him weirdly, especially Yeosang.

“What,” Wooyoung asked with a deadpan expression as he sat down. He tried to brush off the warmth coming from his ears, having purposely ignored it while talking to San.

“Nothing.” Yeosang smiled, turning back to his paper. “Nothing at all.”

\----------

True to their words, Wooyoung and San met up after lunch.

They went to the stables to pay Fée a visit, Wooyoung feeling his own smile growing as soon as he saw his horse. San was still wary but Fée kept trying to nudge at him or breathe in his face, making him giggle adorably.

A few minutes later, they were walking by her side in the green fields behind the castle.

They had been lucky with the weather today. The sun was shining bright, a few clouds hiding it occasionally, just enough so Wooyoung never felt like he was burning or in a constant need to take a cold shower. He loved summer but hated the heat that came with it.

Maybe he didn’t love summer that much actually.

Only two more days before autumn anyway.

They walked quite far away from the main building, any sound coming from there drowned under a choir of crickets and cicadas. Loud, but relaxing. Wooyoung never understood why students didn’t come here more often. This part of Beauxbatons was beautiful.

Fée breathed right into his face and he jumped slightly, noticing a bit late that he had stayed completely silent as he walked with San. He had always been self-conscious about silences, feeling a constant need to fill out the quietness with conversations as soon as he was alone with someone, but after walking for so long in complete silence, he noticed things hadn’t been weird or awkward with San. It felt… Natural. Simple.

He stroked Fée’s head and dared a glance in San’s direction, only to look back at his feet a second later.

Oh boy.

San’s hair was definitely shining under the sun. He looked ethereal. How could life be so unfair ? Wooyoung was pretty sure his own hair was sticking on his forehead in a very non-glamourous way, but it was his fault for not cutting it so he couldn’t _really_ complain. He would always be mad at life for giving _everything_ to San though.

“You know,” Wooyoung started, eventually popping the pleasant bubble of silence they had created. “I think she likes you.”

He pointed to Fée with a smile, hoping San would believe his words, or at least feel slightly reassured.

“Do you think so ?”

Fée nickered in response.

“I’m sure of it,” Wooyoung laughed. “You don’t have to be scared, you can pet her.”

He showed San how to do it first, rubbing her neck while she breathed right in his face. Wooyoung chuckled, kissing her muzzle. He caught San’s eyes, the latter quickly looking away, staring at his shoes instead.

“I’m not scared, I’m just…” San hesitated, frowning. He stayed stuck here a few seconds, and Wooyoung could almost hear him debating in his head. Eventually, San took a step closer. “Are horses similar to winged horses ?”

Wooyoung shrugged. He had no idea how winged horses worked, but they couldn’t be so different from regular horses. Right ?

“I guess so ? Less wings, better legs, that’s all.”

The frown stayed on San’s face as he pursed his lips, his intense glare stuck on Fée. Wooyoung was glad the stare wasn’t directed at him this time.

“Okay then…” San said after a while, his voice barely audible.

Wooyoung was about to ask him if he was familiar with winged horses but stopped right before the words passed his lips, because _San was petting Fée_. 

San ! Was ! Petting ! Fée !

He started with her head, timidly, as if asking for her consent. When she nickered happily, he moved to her ears, her neck. She continued making happy sounds and San smiled, his eyes forming the two little crescents Wooyoung couldn’t stop staring at.

“I’m sorry I took so much time Fée. You’re so cute !”

Fée nickered again and San’s giggles intensified, his dimples out and _beautiful_. Wooyoung wasn’t going to survive the cuteness of the scene.

“Wanna take a walk ?” he asked instead, much like he did a week ago but this time, he had a feeling San wouldn’t turn him down. 

“I…” San started, frowning.

He glanced at Fée, as if she was going to answer for him, and Wooyoung knew San would say yes.

Nobody could resist Fée.

“Yeah, okay. But no gallop please.”

_Good job, Fée._

Wooyoung gave him his brightest smile and nodded frantically, making San giggle for the umpteenth time today.

They walked a bit further away, stopping somewhere in the middle of a daisy field where the ground was more flat than sloped so things would be easier for San. Or at least, that was the plan Wooyoung had in mind. Right as he was about to help San get on Fée, his friend did it by himself, way too smoothly for it to be his first time. Wooyoung looked at him suspiciously, receiving an innocent smile in return.

Okay then. He would keep his question for another day.

They walked, Wooyoung staying on the ground next to Fée, San giggling and smiling and being the cutest boy in the entire Wizarding World as they crossed a field of poppies. It was weird, seeing someone else on his - Yeosang’s - horse, but not unpleasant. Wooyoung wondered if it would be a good idea to offer Mingi or Yunho to walk with them sometimes. He would definitely offer it to San again.

The walk lasted for a while, longing in the afternoon until Wooyoung’s feet started to hurt and San noticed Fée was tired. They went back to the stables and San helped him feed Fée, constantly rubbing her ears and making her nicker happily. Seemed like Wooyoung was being replaced by San in his horse’s heart, and he couldn’t even be jealous. He would replace himself for San too. That didn’t make any sense but when was Wooyoung making sense anyway ?

Once San waved at Fée for the fifth time, they took their leave and started walking back to their dorms.

Wooyoung liked this part of the gardens, full of fountains and stone benches covered with ivy. It was pretty and calm. All he could hear were birds chirping and the sound of their shoes against the gravel. No student in sight, only them.

“Thank you,” San murmured. “I needed that.”

The sad smile lingering on his lips rubbed Wooyoung the wrong way. It painfully reminded him he had seen San crying a week ago in the Neige dorm, and he would gladly brush this memory aside.

“The pleasure is all mine,” he replied with a smile.

But as much as he wanted to keep this image of San with tears running down his face away from his own thoughts, he was still noisy and something was itching him to just _ask_.

So he did. Somehow.

“Well, actually, hm… I’m sorry this is like, my biggest flaw ever and mind you, I have lots of flaws, but I’m really nosy and also talkative, kinda loud too but this is not the point here the point is you can totally slap me or yell at me for being so intrusive and I would totally understand y-”

“It’s okay.” San laughed, his dimples showing up for a bit. “Is it about last week ? I know you saw me crying, Yunho told me you would eventually ask me about it.”

The flush went up to Wooyoung’s ears and he coughed, embarrassed. Fucking Yunho, throwing him under the damn knight bus all the time.

“Oh, hm. Yeah, I guess it’s about that,” Wooyoung confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. It had been quite a while since the last time he felt the need to be careful with his words. He really didn’t want to make San uncomfortable or worse, _hurt him_. “Or more like, about your brother ? I was wondering if he was okay, since, you know, I do ballet with him and all that.”

Oh, he nailed that.

As nosy as he could be, he always tried to avoid asking about sensitive topics and Seonghwa was definitely one, but the ballet lesson was such a good excuse Wooyoung mentally patted himself on the back for thinking about that. As long as Yeosang wasn’t aware of his intrusive questions, he would be fine.

They took a turn on the left where the path they were walking on was more narrow, white roses on either side. The sight was amazing but the scent was overwhelming. Wooyoung would definitely never be a plant boy like San and Yeosang.

“Can I be honest with you ?” San asked, the tip of his fingers brushing the roses’ petals as they walked. He waited for Wooyoung to nod, taking a deep breath when he did. “I don’t think he is.”

Wooyoung gritted his teeth. He saw that coming, but he still hoped he would be wrong. Not that he cared much about Seonghwa. Sure, he _was_ worried and didn’t want him to be in a bad place or anything but… More than all, Yunho was Seonghwa’s friend, San was his _brother_ , and Wooyoung couldn’t stand the sight of people he loved being upset.

“He had been acting weird for a while, way before school started again. And he’s being distant with me,” San continued. He looked at the ground, covered in little white stones. “I’m a little bit scared he’s going to ignore me like he did with Jongho and Yunho.”

That made Wooyoung’s heart skip a beat.

Uhu _no_ , that would not do. No way in hell was this going to happen to San.

“He wouldn’t. You’re his brother and from what I heard from Yunho, you two are really close,” he hastened to say, hoping that would ease San’s mind a little.

It didn’t.

San sighed, looking up to admire the white roses.

“The four of us, we considered ourselves like brothers,” he explained, his voice filled with something Wooyoung could only describe as _nostalgia_. “We loved each other so much, I still do. Hwa was supposed to be as close to them as he was to me, it had always been like that. And see how things are now.”

The sad smile was back on his face, just as a thick cloud passed in front of the sun. In an instant, everything felt gloomy and grey.

“Do you… Know what happened ? For Seonghwa to change so much ?”

The path widened again and they were back to the regular flower beds of the big gardens in front of their dorms. San shook his head.

“I wish I did. Seonghwa only said he wouldn’t spend his summer with us and avoided any questions about it. That was two years ago. I guess that’s when something shifted because he was already weird and distant when I came back at the end of August. And then school started and he just… Well, you know. Totally ignored Jongho and Yunho.”

Oh yeah, he knew. He knew too damn well.

Something tightened in Wooyoung’s chest.

“Yeah, Yunho had been inconsolable for months at this time.”

“I know, I owe you guys a lot about that by the way. Jongho was completely broken as well and it was hard keeping up with the two of them falling apart,” he finally looked at Wooyoung, the tiniest smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thank you for always being there for Yunho. I’m glad he has such amazing friends like you.”

Now, something was clenching inside Wooyoung, but for a whole different reason. He smiled back at San, trying to prevent the warmth from spreading to his ears.

“No need to thank me for that. Yunho is an amazing friend, I’m giving him what he deserves.” They reached the end of the garden and the sun peeked out through the clouds again. “I’m sure Hongjoong is taking good care of your brother. He’ll be okay.” Wooyoung added because he felt like San needed some hope.

And San smiled, his first genuine, real smile since Wooyoung brought up the subject.

“Yeah,” he nodded, stars glittering in his eyes. “He’ll be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ! I hope you'll have a wonderful week 🖤


	5. September : Week 4, Part. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi !
> 
> This chapter is cut in two parts because :  
> 1\. I couldn't finish it in time ;;  
> 2\. The last day of the week will be from someone else's POV (spoiler : Hongjoong) and is long enough to be a chapter on its own.
> 
> Enjoy !

**Five years ago**

_ “I have a boyfriend.” _

_ The sentence had been simple. Seonghwa had spoken with his usual soothing voice, staying composed and serene as he casually let out the words. Things could have stayed as peaceful as they were until then. _

_ But they hadn’t. _

_ Because things couldn’t stay peaceful when Yunho and San were involved. _

_ “You whatjriej-” _

_ First, San choked on his apple juice. Then he spat whatever was still in his mouth back into his glass. The sound he made had been so weird Jongho was a bit concerned for his best friend’s throat, but he seemed more startled than in pain so Jongho guessed things were fine. _

_ On Yunho’s part, the situation wasn’t any better. As soon as the words escaped Seonghwa’s lips, Yunho had fallen from the branch of the cherry tree he was previously sitting on. _

_ Now he wasn’t moving. _

_ Was he dead ? Jongho wished he wasn’t dead. He kind of loved his brother, that would be sad. _

_ “What the heck, Seonghwa ?! Just- out of the blue ?! Can’t you warn us before saying this kind of stuff ?” _

_ Oh, not dead then. Cool. His eyes were about to pop out of their orbit though. Jongho wasn’t a specialist but he was positive it wasn’t a good thing. And San was drinking from his glass again, probably to ease his throat. Honestly, ew.  _

_The truth was, Jongho was actually freaking out too. He didn’t want to show it because he was supposed to be the calm, steady one, but_ what the fuck _Park Seonghwa_ _? Jongho would have to agree with his brother on this point, a warning would have been pleasant._

_ They had been sitting under the cherry tree, enjoying their afternoon together and for once, San and Yunho had been calm enough Jongho had started to doze off. Seonghwa had been reading from his book all day but now that Jongho thought about it, he did keep a constipated face since he received a letter this morning. Now that his friend decided to burst out what was on his mind since then, Jongho put the pieces together. _

_ Seonghwa’s letter was from his boyfriend. _

_ Hence the stupid smile on his face when he read it. And the pink cheeks. _

_ Oh dear. Seonghwa really had a boyfriend. _

_ For anyone their age, it was probably normal, a random discussion to have during the summer. Talking about crushes, girlfriends, boyfriends, all that stuff. Seonghwa was currently 15 and judging from Yunho’s Muggle movies, people dating other people at this age was an ordinary situation. _

_ Not for Beauxbatons’ students. _

_ They started school late in their life and were alone during their entire childhood. Romantic relationships aren’t so important when the first thing you want is to make friends for the first time in your life, and enjoy their company. _

_ And there was the mentality of this school. Jongho was still studying at home and wouldn’t go to school until next year, but he knew already that people at Beauxbatons weren’t so keen on this kind of thing ; public display of affection, love, anything related to romantic relationships... It wasn’t forbidden or looked down upon, but grades came first so it wasn’t a priority. _

_ So Seonghwa, of all people, having a boyfriend ? Knowing him, that was wild. And unexpected. _

_ The only plausible reason for him to have a boyfriend would be… _

_ Jongho cringed at his own thoughts. _

_ … Love. _

_ “Sorry, I panicked,” Seonghwa finally spoke again. “I didn’t know how to announce it to you guys...” _

_ He did sound sorry. Still sitting on the floor, a book on his lap, he lowered his head and looked down at his hands. From the big rock Jongho was sitting on, next to San, he could see the hint of pink dusting Seonghwa’s cheeks. _

_ What a rare sight. Interesting. _

_ “Well, tell us more ! Who is he ?” San asked, letting his - empty, ew - glass aside and standing up as fast as possible to come closer to his brother. Yunho mirrored him, sitting right by Seonghwa’s side. _

_ “Oh my god, wait wait wait !! Is he piano-cutie ?” San cheerfully asked, eyes instantly shining. _

_ “Piano-cutie ?” Jongho slightly tilted his head, frowning. _

_ The nickname did ring a bell but he wasn’t sure. It seemed to be the right answer though, because Seonghwa violently blushed, the regret of having said anything in the first place evident on his face. _

_ “Oho ! He is ! He's piano-cutie !” Even Yunho seemed to know whoever this guy was. He was bouncing, a wild smile that should be hurting him for being so wild stuck on his face. _

_ “Who is piano-cutie ?” Jongho tried again, coming closer to the other three and sitting next to his own brother. _

_ “Seonghwa’s first year’s crush !” Yunho exclaimed. _

_ Oh. Oooh so it was a crush. Jongho vaguely recalled Seonghwa talking about this boy who played piano. If Jongho remembered correctly, he stood in for the pianist of Seonghwa’s ballet lesson because she had to be absent for a while. The guy was no doubt a prodigy but Seonghwa had simply described him as “cute”. Jongho didn’t think much of it at the time, but maybe he should have. _

_ “So ? Explain ! How did it happen ?” San urged him to talk, tugging on his arm like an impatient child. _

_ And with flushed cheeks, Seonghwa talked. _

_ He explained how the guy stood on a table in the middle of the dining room during breakfast, how he turned to look at Seonghwa while the entire school was watching him. How loud he had been when he screamed, “Park Seonghwa ! I, Kim Hongjoong, would like to declare my growing affection toward you. I know I’m not much while you are the most beautiful human being of this school, but I should try ! Will you let me court you ?” He recalled how red his cheeks had turned and... _

_ “And then I ran away,” he concluded. _

_ “Excuse me, you what ?” Jongho hoped he heard wrong. Seonghwa didn’t just say he ran away after the guy he apparently liked confessed to him.  _

_ He didn’t, right ? _

_ “I ran away,” Seonghwa repeated. _

_ Oh. _

_ He did. _

_ “Are you serious ?” _

_ “The poor guy !” _

_ “How could you ?!” _

_ “He did something so cute and you just let him embarrass himself !” _

_ “I can’t believe you !” _

_ Jongho didn’t join San and Yunho in their complaints but he was on their side. _

_ Still, he was certain Seonghwa had his reasons. If the other two stopped whining maybe Seonghwa would tell them, along with how this Hongjoong guy became his boyfriend in the end. _

_ “You know what ? I won’t say anything anymore.” _

_ Well, they deserved that. _

_ “W-what ? Hwa noooooooooooo !” _

_ “We’re sorry ! Please Seonghwa come back !” _

_ But it was too late, Seonghwa was already running, book under his arm. He turned his head only to laugh at their face. The action made San and Yunho mad and they started running after him as Jongho stayed under the tree. _

_ It seemed okay. Seonghwa looked way better now, as if a heavy weight was finally off his shoulders, and it probably was. _

_ Jongho watched the three older boys running and laughing, a fond smile on his own lips. If Seonghwa wanted to talk, he would talk. Maybe not to San and Yunho first, because they didn’t deserve it and could be truly annoying, but Jongho knew he only had to ask for Seonghwa to spill everything to him. He could wait. _

_ Besides, they had all summer. _

  
  
  


**Wednesday, September 23**

Wooyoung malfunctioned for a few seconds when San sat down at their table for lunch, no Jongho in sight.

His friend helped himself to some mashed potatoes as if everything was completely normal, asking for the sauce to a dumbstruck Yunho and smiling brightly when he noticed a plate full of mushrooms in the middle of their table. Either he hadn’t noticed the four pairs of eyes staring at him or he was doing a great job ignoring it.

Wooyoung slowly turned around, wondering if Jongho was running late and would come to join them at some point… But no. Jongho was already here, sitting a few tables away from them and laughing with his chaotic friends.

Friends who were actually Changbin’s, Wooyoung had realized a few days ago.

Did that mean San was comfortable enough to stay with them by himself ? At any moment of the day ? Were they officially friends ? Wooyoung had considered him his friend for a while already, but he still didn’t know if the feeling was reciprocated. They had shared lots of moments together and San seemed content by their side, but there had always been  _ something  _ in the way he tended to gravitate toward Jongho that proved he had still been reluctant.

But now that he was sitting here by himself…

As nice and fun as Jongho seemed (Wooyoung didn’t have the gut to start a conversation with him yet, the boy was scary), his absence made all the difference.

Yunho was visibly still processing the fact his childhood friend was here by himself, looking back and forth between San and Jongho, eyebrows so high they disappeared behind his brown fringe. 

Jongho eventually caught his brother staring and kindly showed him his middle finger, and Wooyoung would have laughed if he hadn’t noticed one of their professors walking straight to Jongho’s table. She had probably been planning on scolding the guy sitting next to Jongho, who was trying to stuff mushrooms in his friend’s nose, but ended up right in front of Yunho’s brother, arms folded.

It seemed like Jongho would spend some time in the dungeon this week.

A giggle erupted behind him and Wooyoung turned around, back to his table, only to be suddenly reminded that  _ San was at their table by himself _ . His mouth was full of mushrooms, his cheeks round and squishy, but he was smiling and giggling, clearly enjoying to see his best friend being lectured.

And Wooyoung couldn’t help but smile too.

It felt good to see San like that. He seemed happier,  _ lighter _ .

Wooyoung failed to notice the exact moment San ceased to look sad and lost in his thoughts, but he definitely looked better now. He smiled more, laughed louder, cracked lots of jokes, and Wooyoung couldn’t remember seeing him as desperate and dejected as he had looked when they started school.

He hoped it wasn’t just a feeling.

“What did I miss ?” San asked, taking the attention of their friends away from Jongho’s table.

Apparently, they all had the same reflex to search for Jongho once San sat with them. Even  _ Yeosang  _ still looked bewildered. He got this weird look he had on his face every time he discovered a new variety of a flower or some fancy plant that wasn’t supposed to grow there. Or something.

Wooyoung really wasn’t good with flowers.

“We were talking about Yunho and Yeosang fencing,” Mingi answered as he turned around, back to his forgotten mountain of mashed potatoes. “They want to train outside this afternoon, Woo and I are coming to watch them. Wanna join ?”

Wooyoung moved his gaze away from Mingi to look at San, expectant. He didn’t care about fencing and frankly, if Yunho and Yeosang decided to play seriously it meant he would spend a boring afternoon doing nothing but look at the sky and try to stuff Mingi’s pants with grass. 

He loved these afternoons, as long as he could be with his friends, but it was still boring. San’s company would be more than welcome.

It wasn’t that he  _ really  _ enjoyed the afternoon they had spent together last week and wanted to do it again or anything. He didn’t crave San’s company  _ that  _ much. He would be fine not spending the afternoon with him. Of course.

Yeah. Of course.

Anyway.

San glanced at him and smiled softly when he noticed Wooyoung was already looking at him.

Wooyoung purposely ignored the way his heart missed a beat.

“Sure,” San replied before he stuffed a huge mushroom in his mouth. Finally, someone who ate with his mouth closed. "Are we doing it right after lunch ?”

Ah.

So he was the kind of guy who talked while eating.

Well, of course he was, he grew up with  _ Yunho _ .

But still ! He ate with his mouth closed and this was something none of them could do at this damn table. San was precious.

Mingi nodded keenly and after a cute “ _ okay ! _ ” from San, the conversation came back to where they left it some minutes ago.

Wooyoung’s mushrooms were cold but he felt strangely warm. He caught San’s eyes, realizing a bit too late he had been staring for a while now, or at least long enough to be noticed. He was about to go on full panic mode and apologize for his creepy behavior, but San simply smiled.

And because the simple view of dimples seemed to ease Wooyoung’s mind in a second, all his worries flew away.

He smiled back.

✰

  
  


“I really like your way of dancing,” San confessed as he grabbed his eraser from the ground.

They decided to settle a bit further away from the castle, in a clear field where flowers weren’t too high for Yunho and Yeosang to be bothered by it. His two friends had been fencing for a while now, apparently choosing to train seriously today. Years of watching them and Wooyoung was still shit at understanding anything about this sport. He guessed when Yunho was pouting, it meant he had lost. Yunho usually pouted a lot.

San was sitting on the grass by his side, his sketchbook settled on his legs but turned in a way nobody could see what he was drawing. Mingi sat on Wooyoung’s other side, intensely watching their two friends. Wooyoung had no idea if he was faking or genuinely appreciating the match. He looked pleased though.

Wooyoung's attention was caught by San’s sudden confession and it took him an embarrassing amount of time to process the words. When he did, his ears naturally heated up.

“Oh hm.. I didn’t know you ever saw me dancing,” he laughed awkwardly, tearing a few blades of grass from the ground. “Thanks.”

He could feel the intense glare on him without needing to look, and now he wanted to hide. No matter how soft San was, his eyes were too intimidating sometimes.

“Well, I never missed a performance for Seonghwa so I saw you a lot. You’re really good,” San continued.

The thought of San seeing him dance added to the compliment only made things worse. His ears started  _ burning _ .

“Not as good as Seonghwa though,” he managed to say.

“It’s different.” San put the eraser back on the ground. “Actually, you’re my favorite dancer. Seonghwa’s dance is too perfect. Yours seems free, alive. I really love it.”

He smiled softly and Wooyoung was pretty sure this was how he was going to die. With burning ears and sweaty palms. He could feel a slight flush on his cheeks as well, which clearly showed how affected he was by these compliments, because he wasn’t the blushing type.

He tried to answer something but the words were stuck behind an overwhelming need to  _ scream  _ in joy and somehow burst into tears at the same time.

He loved compliments, of course, but compliments about his way of dancing ballet were just… His father never ever talked about his dance, only caring for his grades or his image, and his mother never spoke about it in front of her husband. With time, Wooyoung understood the hard way this wasn’t a subject he was welcomed to bring up at home. No one cared.

Sure, he had his friends and they always showered him with compliments, motivating him and giving him strength. They were the ones who pushed him forward and kept him there.

But San… San was a new friend. San was Seonghwa’s brother. There was something different in his compliments, something pleasant, something real. It made Wooyoung feel overly happy and appreciated. Worthy.

“Thank you,” he said in the end, after a mess of stutters and flushed cheeks.

He received a bright smile in return and felt the need to look away.

San went back to his sketchbook and Wooyoung absentmindedly watched his friends trying to kill one another with their ridiculously thin swords. But no matter how much he tried to focus on their match, the same sentence kept resonating in his head, messing with his thoughts.

_ Yours seems free. _

Wooyoung repressed the urge to hide behind his hands as he could feel the flush still warming his cheeks. No one ever complimented him like that. He knew he was a good dancer, a great one even, but San’s words… It was exactly what Wooyoung had wanted to do when he started dancing. The reason why he had chosen this path.

He wanted to fly. He wanted to be free.

And San saw exactly that.

Wooyoung wondered how he managed to live all of these years without this boy in his life. He smiled to himself, patting his warm cheeks.

At least San was here  _ now _ .

It took a while, but Wooyoung’s flush eventually toned down and he slowly regained his composure. After one loud exclamation from Mingi, a scream of joy coming from Yunho and an unbothered Yeosang asking for a rematch, Wooyoung was back to admiring the grass.

It was green.

It had been green for hours.

Truly, Wooyoung didn’t know how to pass time.

As Yunho and Yeosang agreed on playing again, he let his stare wander for a bit, only to end up on San  _ again _ . The sun had an amazing effect on San’s hair. It always made him look ethereal, and the fact he never wore anything but white or pastel clothes when they could ditch their uniform only added to Wooyoung’s fantasy that San was actually an angel.

He was frowning down at his sketchbook, the tip of his tongue poking out between his lips.

He looked adorable.

And deeply focused.

“You don’t show your art to anyone,” Wooyoung stated, because apparently he couldn’t realize he wasn’t supposed to bother someone just because they were focused on something and he wasn’t.

He always wondered how beautiful San’s art could be. He was known in school for being their art professors’ favorite, and every student of the art class respected him for his pieces, describing him as the best artist of their school.

Ever since his first year.

Yet, no one ever saw his art outside of the art class.

San was still a mystery.

“I don’t,” San answered, keeping his eyes on his sketchbook.

He still seemed focused and Wooyoung felt bad for asking, but he really wanted to know now.

“Why ?”

His pen stopped moving on paper and Wooyoung thought San was going to - gently - ask to stop bothering him, but he simply glanced up to look at Wooyoung. He held his gaze for a brief moment, making Wooyoung gulp in the meantime, before putting his pen on the grass, right next to the eraser he left there some minutes ago.

“To be honest, I’m not sure,” he eventually answered, looking away. His gaze fell on a white flower, growing alone in the middle of all of this green. He started stroking the grass with the tip of his fingers. “I… I didn’t have any confidence in what I was doing in the past, and I didn’t like showing anything to anyone for this reason. I’m a bit more confident now but… I guess I got used to keeping anything art related to myself.”

A timid smile found his way on his lips as he looked up to meet Wooyoung’s eyes again.

“Do you show it to Yunho ?” Wooyoung asked.

“Sometimes. When I’m really proud of myself.” His smile grew wider but his gaze fell back to the grass. “He never forced me to show him anything and I had always been very thankful for that.”

“What about Jongho ?”

“I show everything to Jongho,” San chuckled. The sound resonated around him and Wooyoung swore the sun started to shine brighter. “Seonghwa too, when he asks.”

Wooyoung hummed. Once again, the nosy part of him had been right to bring up the subject. Knowing himself, he would have asked San to show him his drawings, making him uncomfortable by mistake. He was glad he avoided such a situation.

He couldn’t help but feel a hint of disappointment though, knowing he would never be able to see San’s art.

“I’ll show it to you too, one day,” San added with a timid smile.

Wooyoung’s ears flush again and he gulped, trying to stay coherent and  _ not  _ panic.

_ It's just a smile, Wooyoung. And a really nice offer you weren’t expecting. Chill. _

He smiled back. “Okay. I’ll be patient.”

The sound of Mingi clearing his throat took both San’s and Wooyoung’s attention back to the rest of them and they turned to look at Mingi.

Their friend gave them an awkward smile. “Yunho has been on the floor for five minutes already. Yeosang doesn’t seem to mind and I didn’t want to interrupt you guys but I’m getting worried...”

Curious and slightly amused by Mingi’s perturbed face, Wooyoung turned to look at his two friends he completely ignored for the past few minutes. True to Mingi’s words, their tall friend was sprawled on the floor, face first in the grass. Yeosang was sitting cross-legged a few meters away from him, an open book on his lap.

“He’s not moving,” Wooyoung stated after a few seconds of staring at Yunho’s motionless body.

Should he be worried ?

San didn’t even spare Yunho a glance.

“Too bad,” he shrugged, already back to his sketchbook.

Wooyoung couldn’t help but snort at his indifference. “You’re exactly like Yeosang.”

Mingi groaned next to him, putting his head in his hands.

“We’re screwed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🖤


	6. September : Week 4, Part. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big big big thank you to my best friend who beta read all of this at the speed of light ! You're amazing 🖤

**Sunday, September 27**

Since he started studying at Beauxbatons, working late at night had always made Hongjoong particularly content. He was happy to compose and write new songs at any moment of the day, but there was _something_ different with working when everything was dark outside. He loved the tranquility of deserted classrooms, the weird feeling of being alone in a vast place, the quietness…

He was probably not the only student staying as late as possible in the castle before curfew, but the piano room, at least, was always empty after dinner. Hongjoong wondered if his music classmates knew he worked here every night and left the room empty on purpose, to let him focus. If so, he was immensely grateful. He had always been more effective once the sun started to go down and their school slowly fell asleep.

A long sight passed his lips as he stretched out, letting his feet slip under the wooden table he was sitting at. It was covered with sheets and papers Hongjoong didn't want to touch anymore. He had been working on a song for hours, scribbling down his ideas over and over yet it never felt good enough. No matter how much he tried to adjust some parts or change it entirely, it never felt right. He was stuck.

But today, he knew the problem wasn’t the song. It wasn’t his inspiration either.

It was his thoughts.

They were louder tonight, intrusive and distracting, and even when Hongjoong had opened the door of the room with a new song in mind some hours ago, he already knew working would be difficult.

Frustrated, he resolutely put his pen back on the table and ran a hand through his hair.

He needed to stop thinking about that.

He needed to stop thinking about _Seonghwa_.

But how could he ? It was inevitable. Seonghwa was his other half, the love of his life. He was his everything and usually Hongjoong was delighted when his thoughts tended to turn toward his boyfriend.

But not anymore. Not these days, at least.

It had nothing to do with their couple or with love. Hongjoong still loved him more than anything in the world and he knew Seonghwa felt just the same… But Hongjoong was scared. Terrified even. 

Seonghwa was changing right in front of his eyes, and Hongjoong didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he was supposed to say, how to act, if he could even help with something. He was lost. Stuck. Every day, Seonghwa would walk a bit further away from him. Every hour spent together, Hongjoong would feel him slipping away from his grasp. He was falling, and Hongjoong didn't know how to take his hand to put him back to the ground. He couldn't help, because he didn't know what was happening. Everytime he asked his boyfriend what was wrong, the answer was the same.

_‘I'll tell you, I just need more time. I'm sorry.’_

So Hongjoong gave him time. He gave him days, weeks, months. He gave him _years_ , and maybe he shouldn't have. Because they were starting their third year since Seonghwa stopped talking to his friends, and he still hadn't said a thing. He was still hiding a part of his life Hongjoong knew nothing about, still worrying about things Hongjoong couldn't help him with. 

He was suffering alone.

And it was breaking Hongjoong's heart.

"Writer's block ?"

Hongjoong slightly jumped at the sudden voice coming from behind. He had been so lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear the door opening, nor did he notice his boyfriend coming in.

He couldn't help but smile when he turned to look at him.

"How could I find any inspiration if my muse isn't here with me ?" Hongjoong said, smirking.

Seonghwa laughed, the sound warming up Hongjoong’s chest. “You’re such a charmer.”

He took the empty seat next to him, facing the papers. Hongjoong knew his boyfriend liked to peek at his work, but there wasn't much to see today. The pout Seonghwa tried to hide when he saw the blank sheets made him feel slightly better about his lack of work.

Seonghwa’s pouts were adorable.

The frustration of working on nothing for hours was still tingling him though, and Hongjoong didn’t want to pay attention to the content of this table anymore. He slid his arms around Seonghwa’s neck, slightly tugging on one side to have his full attention.

Once Seonghwa turned and met his eyes, Hongjoong smiled again.

"Didn't you fall for my charming words ?" he murmured.

A short laugh escaped Seonghwa’s lips as he brought his arms around Hongjoong’s waist.

"I fell for a snotty boy crying in the corner of this room.”

He pointed to said corner, the one perfectly hidden behind the grand piano. Seonghwa wasn’t a _smirking_ person, but his smile was sly enough for Hongjoong to understand his boyfriend was proud of his comment.

Hongjoong wasn’t.

He pulled back and tried to push him away but his boyfriend had tightened his grip around him and now Hongjoong was trapped. He punched his chest instead, purposely ignoring how tiny and ineffective his fists were. Seonghwa even started to _laugh_.

"Stop teasing me !” Hongjoong whined as he continued to land small punches on Seonghwa’s chest. “I had all the rights to cry ! You rejected me !”

“I didn’t _reject_ you,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes. His mischievous smile was still on his lips.

"You ran away after I confessed in front of _the entire school_. It’s worse !”

Seonghwa caught his hands with both of his own, and Hongjoong tried to complain but his boyfriend’s hands were soft and now he was looking at him with his beautiful eyes and yeah Hongjoong was completely whipped.

“And I’m still sorry about that,” Seonghwa brought Hongjoong’s hands to his lips, tenderly kissing his knuckles. “I’m glad I came back. I’m glad I confessed to this snotty boy crying in a corner.”

Hongjoong’s heart melted. He fought against the flush threatening to spread on his cheeks and allowed himself to look at his boyfriend instead.

Seonghwa was beautiful. A loving smile had replaced the teasing one, softening his features as he gently stroked Hongjoong’s palms with his thumbs. It felt nice. It felt warm.

Here, in the calmness of Hongjoong’s favorite room, in the middle of their bubble of affection, Hongjoong could forget about his worries and the pang tugging on his chest everytime he thought about Seonghwa’s situation. He could let go of his negative thoughts, even if it was only for a bit of time, an illusion that things were fine. He could let Seonghwa lure him into thinking everything was okay.

“Kiss me,” Hongjoong whispered, bringing himself closer until their noses touched.

He felt Seonghwa’s laugh on his lips and soon, the soft fingers stroking his hands disappeared, leaving him craving for his boyfriend’s touch.

“Aren’t you a bit too demanding ?” Seonghwa murmured, his arms finding their way around Hongjoong’s waist again.

“I just really want to kiss my boyf-”

Softness. _Warmth_.

Seonghwa was kissing him. 

Hongjoong had been tasting those lips for years, yet the feeling stayed as intense and real as their first time. Warmth spread into his chest as their lips moved together, slowly, tenderly. Seonghwa tightened his hold around his waist and Hongjoong was pressed closer, his heart beating faster. Kissing Seonghwa had always felt _so right_. It made Hongjoong believe everything would eventually settle down and they would be happy, free to love one another without worrying about anything.

Hongjoong slid his arms around Seonghwa’s neck, smiling against his lips when he felt gentle fingers tickling his sides. Seonghwa needed some air.

They broke apart but stayed close, neither of them wanting to move away from the other.

"I love you," Seonghwa whispered against his lips, making Hongjoong smile tenderly.

“I love you too.”

They stared at each other with loving smiles and shining eyes, simply enjoying the intimacy they couldn’t share during the day.

Hongjoong was dreaming of a time they would be able to kiss and hug and love at any moment of the day, anytime of the year. He didn’t care about what other people could say about his relationship, didn’t spare any attention to the derogatory comments he could hear when they walked hand in hand in the hallways. Beauxbatons wasn’t the greatest school to fall in love in, but maybe that was the reason why they could grow so much over the years. To show people falling in love wasn’t so bad, that a relationship wouldn’t ruin their grades. Hongjoong loved showing people they were wrong. He also loved pecking Seonghwa right in front of particularly annoying professors.

No, showing affection wasn’t the problem here.

Time was.

Hongjoong knew, deep inside, that they both worked way too much. They had to keep their grades at the highest level, for their respective personal reasons, but it meant their time together was limited.

It made it all the more precious.

They spent the next few minutes whispering sweet things to each other, giggling for nothing and stealing kisses here and there, until Seonghwa put his head on Hongjoong’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

“Your birthday is coming soon,” he murmured against Hongjoong’s neck, his breath warm on his skin. “Is there something you want ?”

Keeping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, Hongjoong started to stroke his hair, black strands sliding between his fingers. He let out a chuckle at Seonghwa’s words.

“It’s more than a month away Hwa. You’re way too ahead of time.”

He felt Seonghwa’s chuckle against his neck more than he heard it, but the simple thought of a happy Seonghwa made Hongjoong smile.

“And you know the answer already,” he added. Seonghwa’s hair was so soft between his fingers. He wouldn’t mind staying there the entire night. “I don’t need anything. I have you.”

“Cheesy,” Seonghwa scoffed, hiding his face further in Hongjoong’s neck.

He could say all he wanted, Hongjoong knew his boyfriend’s face was flushed. He knew Seonghwa loved his cheesy lines, even if he would never admit it out loud. And Hongjoong always spent a pleasant time teasing him with it.

They fell back into silence, enjoying the calmness and the warmth of each other. Seonghwa was gently stroking his back with one hand, his breath still tickling Hongjoong’s skin in his neck. It felt nice. It felt like home. Hongjoong wanted to cherish this moment for as long as he could.

There was something on his mind though.

“Okay. I do want something,” he eventually said, breaking the silence.

Seonghwa slightly turned his head, just enough to look at Hongjoong. He raised an eyebrow, patiently waiting for him to continue.

“On my birthday, I want to spend the entire day with you. Just you and me. No homework, no worries about grades and school, no working after class. Just us.”

He wrapped a black strand around his finger, trying to ease his sudden beating heart.

He knew they would both need a break sometimes before the next holidays and trusted himself to actually take it at some point. But Seonghwa ? Grades were not just important for him, they were _crucial_ . His stupid aunt made him believe he absolutely _had_ to be the best in everything, and Hongjoong didn’t know much about this woman, but he knew enough to hate her, from the bottom of his heart.

Seonghwa wasn’t used to taking breaks and he always had a hard time stopping himself from overworking. Giving up precious hours of work to stay with Hongjoong ? That would be a dumb move. But Hongjoong had to try.

The silence following his words quickly made him regret he asked though, and he was about to pass it as a joke when Seonghwa’s voice stopped him.

“Okay,” his boyfriend murmured.

“O-Okay ?” Hongjoong asked, unsure.

He had been hoping for this answer, but it seemed like he hadn’t been prepared to actually have it.

“Okay,” Seonghwa repeated, giggling softly at Hongjoong’s startled face.

He pecked his neck once, twice, before placing butterfly kisses along his jaw. His lips were tickling Hongjoong’s skin and he eventually broke from his surprise to join his boyfriend in his giggles.

Hongjoong loved this man _so much_.

After another set of pecks, Seonghwa eventually straightened, his eyes falling on Hongjoong’s face. It had been years since they started to date, yet Seonghwa’s eyes stayed as intense as the first time he landed his eyes on Hongjoong. 

Sometimes, it was intimidating. Some other times, like today, Hongjoong simply felt like melting under his gaze.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Hongjoong whined, hiding his face behind his hands.

Seonghwa didn’t let him do so. He gently brought his hands away from his face and intertwined their fingers together instead.

“I can’t, you’re too pretty. My boyfriend is so pretty…” He put an innocent peck on Hongjoong’s lips, smiling sweetly.

Hongjoong smirked. “Mine is hot so who’s the winner ?”

It made Seonghwa burst out laughing, and Hongjoong honestly wondered if someone’s smile was supposed to spread so much warmth everywhere.

“Sorry, I’m still winning,” Seonghwa replied.

They smiled at each other, both of them trying to hold their giggles. Hongjoong loved those moments. He loved how easy it was to be with Seonghwa, how natural it was when they were together. It felt right, as if they were meant to be.

And maybe they did, or at least, Hongjoong liked to believe so.

He was scared to say it out loud though, because he knew it would be pointless anyway. Seonghwa never talked about the present, why would he talk about his future ?

But Hongjoong liked to dream about it. About how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Seonghwa. About the future he wished to build with him, the world they could create together, the life they could share.

Hongjoong wanted to think about the future, because his future was Seonghwa.

“Hey, are you okay ?” Seonghwa asked softly, brushing his fingers against Hongjoong’s temple. He must have noticed the sudden change in Hongjoong’s mood, his eyebrows slightly furrowed in concern.

Hongjoong nodded, offering him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, I’m just tired.”

He received a gentle kiss on his forehead in response.

“You should stop here for today. It's getting late,” Seonghwa suggested.

And as much as Hongjoong wanted to stay here, cuddling and kissing his boyfriend, he knew leaving now would be wiser. They had class in the morning tomorrow and Hongjoong was obviously not going to get anything done tonight. Even if the inspiration decided to come at some point, he would be too exhausted to write properly. Plus, both Seonghwa and himself had always been careful about school’s rules, they didn’t want to be away from their dorms past curfew.

So Hongjoong agreed, and once they gathered his stuff and were sure they didn’t forget anything, they exited the room.

Hallways were as silent as Hongjoong's piano room. The dim lights placed along the walls were still on, easing Hongjoong’s mind as they walked across the castle. Because of the few times he stayed working past curfew by accident, he knew they would switch off once it struck 10PM. Their school was beautiful, but there was something scary and uneasy about its walls when everything was plunged into darkness.

Now though, walking in the deserted hallways with Seonghwa by his side, Hongjoong knew he would feel safe, no matter how dark things were around them.

They reached the main door and once outside, Seonghwa took Hongjoong’s hand, leading them to the gardens.

Out of all the little moments he could spend with his boyfriend during a day, this was the one Hongjoong cherished the most. At this hour, most of the students were already in their dorms, getting ready to sleep or throwing a last tantrum before they were rushed to their rooms.

It meant Hongjoong and Seonghwa were truly alone.

The gardens were illuminated by some bluish lights placed here and there between trees, giving the place an enchanting, welcoming atmosphere. Fireflies were flying above flower beds and even if Hongjoong had never been very fond of bugs, he could appreciate the beauty of these tiny lights floating in the dark. If Hongjoong liked Beauxbatons’ gardens during the day, he much preferred its peaceful atmosphere at night.

Holding Seonghwa’s hand and walking by his side made it a million times better.

“San is making friends. He looks happy,” Hongjoong said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

He had been delighted to see San talking to people who weren’t Yunho or Jongho. Since the day they met, Hongjoong knew this boy was a friendly person. They became friends way too easily when Seonghwa introduced them to each other, even if Hongjoong hadn’t been the most fun to hang out with this day. He had been _terrified_ to meet San. He was dating _Park Seonghwa_ , of all people, and this was already a miracle. Meeting his little brother, _the_ Park San ? Hongjoong had honestly thought about hiding in the bathroom for an entire week, hoping that Seonghwa would give up and he would never have to meet his brother. He didn't though, and in the end, San welcomed him with open arms, and the warmest smile Hongjoong had ever seen.

Now, he considered him like his own little brother.

Maybe that was why he always took their situation at heart. It had pained him to see San couldn’t be himself because of whatever his stupid aunt had put into his brain. San was meant to be surrounded by friends, meant to laugh and do crazy things with them.

Hongjoong had no idea what could have happened for him to change his way of thinking, but he was glad. He had been waiting for the day San would finally stand up for what he truly wanted, just as he was waiting for the day Seonghwa would open up and be himself once again. 

He expected Seonghwa to jump on the subject and start his usual speech about how amazing his little brother was and how adorable he looked surrounded by his new friends, talking happily with wild gestures and all…

But to Hongjoong's surprise, all he got in response was the sound of the wind brushing against bay trees.

He frowned.

Something wasn’t right.

“Hwa ? Is something wrong ?” he asked, tilting his head forward to try and take a look at his boyfriend's face.

Seonghwa had lowered his head and was staring at the ground. He was being weirdly quiet and Hongjoong started to be concerned.

“Hwa ?”

“I’m… I’m not sure. About him being happy,” Seonghwa confessed, his voice barely audible.

It only made Hongjoong frown even more.

“What do you mean ?”

He tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling creeping into his stomach when Seonghwa stopped walking, squeezing Hongjoong's hand a bit tighter in his.

His boyfriend turned to him and met his eyes, staring right into Hongjoong's worried ones. He didn't talk, didn't move. He simply stared, keeping them both stuck there, in the middle of a garden full of white roses and lighting bugs.

It had happened in the past. Two years ago, to be exact, when Seonghwa came back to school after his first summer spent alone. During the first few months of school, he would occasionally stop walking and look straight into Hongjoong's eyes without saying anything, as if contemplating whether to say something or not.

He never said anything.

It stopped at some point, and Hongjoong himself forgot it ever happened. But now, the staring was back, and Hongjoong could feel the worry crawling up his body, making him suddenly uncomfortable.

"Hwa…"

He reached for Seonghwa's face and brushed his hand against his cheek, softly, slowly. His boyfriend sighed and leaned into his touch, closing his eyes.

He looked broken.

"You can talk to me," Hongjoong whispered, taking a step closer to put both of his hands on Seonghwa's cheeks. He cupped his face, trying to meet his eyes. "I'll always be here to listen if you need me. I promise."

He knew Seonghwa was already aware of that. He knew that Seonghwa trusted him. That Seonghwa was trying.

That was why he couldn't give up.

One day, Seonghwa would talk and this day, Hongjoong would be here to listen. 

And maybe today was the day.

"He's different.”

The words were barely audible, but Hongjoong heard them, loud, strong. He held Seonghwa's gaze but stayed silent, letting him talk.

“I.. You're right. He's smiling more and I think his life is changing for the better.” Seonghwa’s eyes fell back to the ground. “But there’s something else. I don’t know what happened, if his friends noticed, if _he_ noticed but there's... _Something_. I don’t know. I just… I don't think he's happy."

"What makes you think so ?” Hongjoong asked quietly, not wanting to rush his boyfriend. “Is that why you're ignoring him these days ?"

To be honest, Hongjoong had noticed something had been different when San came back to school. He had seen how sad and lost he had looked for the first few days of the month and had been genuinely concerned about his well being… But things had changed and San seemed to be happy now. Hongjoong had stopped worrying as soon as Jongho assured him San was doing okay.

But he wouldn’t be surprised if Seonghwa could see something they didn’t. San was his little brother, his little treasure. They loved each other. If someone could see the subtleties in San's daily behavior, it was Seonghwa.

“I’m not ignoring him. I'm just…"

Seonghwa stopped, suddenly closing his eyes. The corner of his lips started to tremble and he lowered his head until Hongjoong couldn't see his face anymore.

"I'm scared," he whispered.

And the tears fell.

He hid his face behind his hands and took a step back, but Hongjoong was faster. In a second, he embraced his boyfriend in his arms and brought him as close as possible, squeezing him against his chest.

If Hongjoong's heart wasn’t broken before, it definitely was now. Seonghwa started sobbing against his shoulder and the sound was painfully panging at his heart. 

"Hwa, baby," he tried, but his voice broke.

He couldn’t do it. He wasn’t strong enough.

Another painful sob resonated into the silence and Hongjoong squeezed his eyes shut, a lump forming in his throat. He could feel his own tears threatening to fall. 

"It's okay," he whispered, passing a hand through Seonghwa's hair. "Let it all out okay ? I'm here. It's okay, you can cry.”

He could feel Seonghwa’s tears falling on his shoulder and wetting his uniform, but everything seemed fogged, unreal.

_Seonghwa was crying._

Seonghwa had broken down in front of him.

The walls he had built around him for the past few years were finally falling, but Seonghwa was crumbling down with them.

Why did he have to hide ? Why did he have to keep it in for so long ?

_Why was he fighting alone ?_

Hongjoong knew these questions would stay unanswered, but the tears were obscuring his view, his chest was tightening in pain and Seonghwa was trembling in his arms… He couldn’t do anything.

So he kept Seonghwa close, trying to give him a little bit of hope, something to hold on to, something to keep him from falling completely. He wanted to shield him and keep him away from the rest of the world, from any harm and any pain. He didn’t know what Seonghwa needed at the moment, but he would give him _anything_.

He just wished Seonghwa could be happy.

Minutes passed as Seonghwa continued to cry in his arms. The lights coming from the castle switched off and Hongjoong should have been worrying about the late hour, but he didn’t care about curfew anymore. The only thing he could care about at the moment was right here, secured in his arms.

The moon was high in the sky above them when Seonghwa slowly calmed down. He kept his face hidden, his head settled on Hongjoong’s shoulder, but the sobs had stopped and his breathing was back to a normal pace. Hongjoong was still stroking his hair, softly humming what he knew was one of Seonghwa’s favorite childhood songs.

He stopped when Seonghwa let his hands fall to his sides, sniffling loudly.

“He was all excited about summer…” Seonghwa tried, his voice hoarse from crying for so long. “He loves going to our grandparents’, to spend time with Yun and Jongie… But on the day of the departure he took his luggage back to his room and stayed home. He never left. I have no idea what made him take that decision, I know he loves Yun and Jongie more than anyone so why did he stay ?”

He raised his head, teary eyes full of despair meeting Hongjoong’s.

“ _Why did he stay ?”_ He repeated, voice breaking.

The look on his face was so painful to watch Hongjoong bite his lips to prevent himself from crying again. There was no hope in Seonghwa’s eyes.

Only despair and sorrow.

Hongjoong had been waiting for Seonghwa to open up and talk about his feelings for months, years even, but now that he did, Hongjoong wasn’t sure he wanted to know anymore. He wasn’t prepared enough. He wasn’t _strong_ enough.

But he would need to.

Because he loved Seonghwa.

“I didn’t ignore him on purpose,” Seonghwa sniffled. “I’m just scared of what I’ll see in his eyes if I look at him. I think he knows more than I would like him to and it’s just… I just want him to be happy and go on with his life and… I don’t know…”

Hongjoong brushed the back of his fingers against Seonghwa’s cheek, trying to meet his eyes again.

“What makes you scared ?” He asked softly, brushing some hair away from Seonghwa’s face.

He feared for the answer.

But it never came.

Seonghwa slowly shook his head and Hongjoong didn’t need more to understand. Seonghwa couldn’t go any further. He couldn't tell more. Not now. Maybe never.

“I’m sorry,” Seonghwa breathed out. He put his hand on Hongjoong’s, closing his eyes. “I’m _so sorry_.”

Tears rolled down on his cheeks once again, dampening Hongjoong fingers and silently crashing on the ground between them.

And Hongjoong wanted to reassure him, wanted to tell him it was okay.

But he couldn’t.

Because they both knew Seonghwa had been hiding things for way too long, breaking both their hearts a bit more everyday. They both knew Seonghwa wanted to talk, but couldn’t. They both knew things weren’t okay.

But Hongjoong also knew he would never give up on Seonghwa.

“We’ll figure something out, okay ?” Hongjoong whispered after a while, brushing his thumbs over Seonghwa’s cheeks in a failed attempt to prevent the tears from falling. “San will be fine. His friends are taking good care of him. Jongho would never let anything happen to him, and you know that, right ?"

Seonghwa nodded.

“But Sannie needs you, too," Hongjoong continued. "He needs you more than anyone else. Talk to him, hug him, show him you’re here for him. You’re the most important person in his life, Hwa. If you’re not here, he's missing a part.”

Seonghwa nodded again, sniffling softly. He slowly opened his eyes to look at Hongjoong, and this time, they seemed to be shining again. A faint smile brightened his face.

It made Hongjoong smile too. He took his hands away from Seonghwa’s face and brought him into another hug.

"He'll be okay Hwa,” he assured, closing his eyes when Seonghwa slid his arms around him. "And you will be too."


	7. October : Week 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : mention of minor character death (on Sunday)
> 
> Enjoy 🖤

**???**

_Coldness. Darkness._

_He was sitting on a cold floor, his legs brought against his chest, arms circling his knees._

_How did he end up here ?_

_Where was he ?_

_He couldn't hear anything. He couldn't feel his body._

_But he was cold. So cold._

_Slowly, his eyes opened._

_Walls. Pillars._

_The place was huge, the ceiling high, but there was nothing._

_No window, no furniture._

_Only one door._

_And darkness._

_He waited._

_And waited._

_A shiver ran down his spine and he tightened his hold around his legs, trying to keep himself warm._

_Why was it so cold here ?_

_The door opened, someone entered the room. The sound of their steps resonated on the hard surface of the floor, bouncing on the walls, echoing in his head._

_Until they stopped, right in front of him._

_"Hi."_

_The voice seemed familiar._

_The person crouched down._

_They had no face. Or none that he could see._

_He could distinguish an eye, a mouth… But every time he squinted a bit too much, his vision became blurry and his head started to ache._

_They took his hand._

_"It won't take long, I promise."_

_Warmth._

_The voice was warm._

_He smiled, closing his eyes._

_He felt safe. The presence in front of him was calming._

_"It won't hurt."_

_A soft hand on his cheek._

_And something hard against his temple._

_"I'm sorry."_

_Oh._

_It hurt._

  
  
  


**Wednesday, September 30**

Wooyoung was a failure.

He knew the thoughts shouldn’t even cross his mind, and if Yeosang was aware of how he was talking to himself, his best friend would probably kick him and give him a 3 hours long lecture about self-depreciation and bad thoughts.

But Yeosang couldn't read his mind. And Wooyoung couldn't stop his thoughts.

Just like he had predicted, he was failing potion. Their professor had given them their first grade of the year yesterday, and the amount of red ink on Wooyoung’s paper had been disastrous. He didn't even take the time to look at his mistakes like his tutors taught him when he was younger, didn’t even spare his sheet a second glance.

He _couldn't_.

Not when the shame of failing was so strong, not after the disappointed look he received from his professor.

He wanted to forget.

He had been dejected for the rest of the day and Yeosang kept glancing at him in concern, but Wooyoung managed to avoid any question. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to _think_ about it, but he knew he wouldn't have any choice in the end. His father would learn about it sooner or later, Wooyoung couldn’t afford to continue failing.

But what could he do ? There was no magic spell to make him suddenly good at potion, not without cheating. His father was already disappointed any time Wooyoung did as much as breathe, cheating was simply out of the question.

His ballet class this morning had eased his mind for a little while, but the thoughts were back now that he was sitting with his friends for lunch.

He knew he was annoying, and he already snapped at his friends by accident more than once, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at the moment. His friends were used to his moping and they knew his unpleasant mood would pass. He simply needed some time to let it go.

Mingi's roommates, Hwanwoong and Keonhee, had joined them for lunch today, and Wooyoung usually loved sharing funny stories with them and complaining about Mingi, but he really wasn't in the mood. He let Yeosang and Mingi do the conversation as he kept his head low, mindlessly munching on his rice.

Yunho and San hadn't touched their plates yet. They had started talking between themselves in low voices some minutes ago and since then, none of them had eaten anything. Nothing surprising on San's part, he was easily distracted and often forgot to eat, but _Yunho_ ? Wooyoung hadn't planned on eavesdropping, but now he was curious. 

Yunho was sitting right beside him and Wooyoung could easily hear their conversation if he wanted, but it hadn't seemed that interesting at first. Now though…

Wooyoung kept his ears open.

“No, _I told you_. It doesn’t feel like a dream,” San whispered as he ran a hand through his hair. He was frowning. “It feels like it happened for real, in life. But not in mine.”

“Like some sort of vision ?” Yunho asked. Wooyoung couldn’t see his face but he sounded confused.

“Yeah, exactly ! It felt like a vision of someone else.”

A pause. Wooyoung had no idea what they were talking about and now that he had a glimpse of their conversation, he didn't feel like listening to more. Without context, he couldn't understand anything.

Plus, the untouched salmon in Yunho’s plate looked tempting. Maybe if he stayed discreet… 

“It looked painful though,” Yunho answered after a weird silence.

Wooyoung stopped in the middle of his gesture, his fork a few centimeters away from Yunho’s plate.

Painful ?

What was supposed to be painful ?

Why were they talking about something that could be painful ?

What ?

Wooyoung wondered if the subject was more serious than he initially thought. An uncomfortable feeling formed in his stomach as he retreated his fork, frowning.

Well.

There had been _something_.

Something weird. 

Yunho had seemed more fidgety than usual these days and Wooyoung had put it on their first grades dropping, but maybe he had been wrong. Maybe there was something else, something he should be more attentive about. 

Something about San.

"I'm sorry for waking you up, _again_ ," San smiled sheepishly.

Yunho shook his head. "I don't mind. As long as you're okay."

They stared at each other for a little while, before San’s sheepish smile faded into a soft, genuine one. He pulled Yunho into a hug, closing his eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

A few seconds later, they were both back to their plates.

Their hug seemed to mark the end of their conversation, but there was still something weird lingering in the air. Something tense.

Yunho hadn’t lost his appetite though, and that was enough for Wooyoung to push his worries aside. He was weirdly happy to see the salmon disappearing so fast in Yunho's plate.

Things were probably fine. No need to be concerned.

Wooyoung went back to his plate too, stuffing his fork in his mountain of rice.

He would talk to Yunho about that at some point though.

Just to be sure.

  
  


\----------

  
  


Yunho and San’s conversation, although weird and slightly concerning, had been a great distraction for Wooyoung. He had finished his lunch in peace, without worrying over grades, and even talked with Hwanwoong during dessert.

It had been refreshing. 

But now, they were back outside and his friends were chatting animatedly in front of him, planning on their afternoon. And Wooyoung's annoying thoughts were back. 

As much as he loved spending his afternoon with his friends, he didn’t feel like having fun today. He knew they would try to entertain him and suggest a multitude of different games to keep his mind occupied, but all he wanted was a nap. A really long nap, alone, away from everything and everyone.

Something brushed against his arm and he shivers.

"Hey," San murmured, sliding next to him. He was wearing his usual soft smile, his dimples discreet, but visible. He didn’t have any bag today, Wooyoung noticed. Just a sketchbook tucked under his arms.

"Hey.” Wooyoung tried to smile back, but he knew it looked forced.

They started walking between the flower beds, making their way back to the dorms. Summer had ended a few days ago but the weather was still nice, the sun high in a perfectly blue sky. Today would have been a perfect day to stay outside and roll in the grass with his friends. Too bad his mood was ruined because of one stupid grade.

Mingi laughed loudly at something Yunho whispered in his ear, the sound resonating in the garden.

At least his friends were having fun.

"Wooyoung ?" San called next to him.

Wooyoung absentmindedly turned to look at his friend. San was staring at him with his intense gaze again, his smile nowhere to be seen.

There was something soft in his eyes. Something that made Wooyoung forget about his problems for a few seconds.

He wished he could stare at San's eyes for a bit longer.

Possibly forever.

"I think you need some fresh air," San said, his soft smile coming back on his lips. He took his hand and Wooyoung swore his heart stopped for a second. "Let's go."

Wooyoung had no idea where San wanted to take him, but he nodded nonetheless.

"We'll be in the poppy field if you need us !" San shouted.

Wooyoung hadn't even noticed the distance that had formed between himself and his friends as they walked. They were already reaching the shaped bay trees, while he was still stuck in the middle of the flower beds.

He clearly needed a break.

His friends turned around and he met Yeosang’s eyes. He smiled then, not knowing how to behave at the moment.

What was he doing ? What was San planning ? Why was he following him so blindly ? He was so ready to go back to his dorm to sleep and yet…

A warm smile replaced Yeosang’s surprised expression.

"Sure, see you later then," he answered with a lazy wave of the hand, just as Yunho and Mingi threw some thumbs up to San.

A second later, they were disappearing behind bay trees.

San turned to him with a bright smile. He kept Wooyoung’s hand firmly held in his and started walking in the opposite direction, taking Wooyoung with him.

They bypassed the main building and walked away from the loud students laughing on the grass, heading to the flower fields instead.

It was weird, being with San ; holding his hand, following him in silence...

It felt nice though. Really nice.

They reached the poppy field, and San let go of Wooyoung’s hand to sit in the middle of the many red flowers surrounding them. The loss of contact against his skin left an empty feeling in Wooyoung's chest, but he brushed it off, choosing to sit down in front of San instead. High flowers weren't the most comfortable field to sit in but the sight was worth it.

Without saying a word, San opened his sketchbook and took a pen out of his pocket.

He started drawing.

Wooyoung didn't know what he had expected when San brought him here, but it wasn't that. A conversation, some bonding time over flowers maybe, something to keep him away from his thoughts.

Not silence.

He hadn't expected to be completely ignored, in the middle of a poppy field.

With a sigh, he laid down on his back, throwing his arms behind his head.

The blue sky was really pretty today. And Wooyoung loved poppies.

Maybe the silence wasn’t so bad today. Maybe that was exactly what he needed.

All he could hear were the sound of San’s pen against paper and the many bees buzzing around them.

No irritating students. 

No disappointed professors.

No loud thoughts.

For the first time since he got his potion grade, Wooyoung felt at peace.

He smiled to himself, closing his eyes.

He deserved a break. He deserved this escape from his thoughts, even if it was just for a little while.

He allowed himself to breathe.

When he started drifting off a few minutes later, San was turning a page of his sketchbook.

And when he fell asleep for real, only one thought filled his mind. 

_"Thank you, San."_

  
  
  


**Thursday, October 1**

By some miracle, Wooyoung and Mingi managed to survive their transfiguration class without any scolding from their professor.

They both knew sitting together during any of their shared classes would always be the worst decision of their life, but despite the many hours of detentions they reaped, they never learned. Mingi would still sit next to Wooyoung and Wooyoung would still smile brightly at his innocent face, ignoring his best friend complaining from the table behind.

Yeosang liked to say he was against this habit of Wooyoung and Mingi sitting together, but somehow, he was always the one sitting next to Keonhee when they shared a class with the Soleil dorm. He knew Wooyoung loved sitting with Mingi.

Wooyoung was lucky to have him.

Today, especially.

Yeosang had been in a good mood and somehow managed to get both Wooyoung and Mingi out of trouble when their professor sighed for the umpteenth time, looking toward them. Wooyoung had been too busy trying to hold in his laughter to comprehend what his best friend had said, but in the end, their professor let them go without any remonstrance. 

"So, what do you want from us now ?" Mingi asked Yeosang as they exited the room and started making their way into the hallway.

"We don't own him shit ! We would have been _perfectly fine_ without him," Wooyoung intervened before Yeosang could answer. There was no way he was going to repay Yeosang for anything. Nope. Never.

His best friend rolled his eyes and Mingi laughed, but at least neither of them tried to contest.

They continued their walk to their next class, but once they rounded the corner, two familiar faces caught Wooyoung's attention.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa were here, intensely watching what seemed like a canvas floating in front of them.

"Hongjoong !" Mingi shouted all of a sudden, making both Wooyoung and Yeosang jump.

The canvas almost dropped but Hongjoong got a hold of himself pretty quickly, keeping his wand steady as he gave Mingi a welcoming smile.

"Give me two seconds Mingi," he said once they reached the couple.

He graciously turned his wrist and the poster slid into a golden frame on the wall, moving slightly for a few seconds until it stayed still, perfectly in place.

"Okay, all done. Hi guys !" Hongjoong waved at them with a bright smile, and Wooyoung blinked a few times.

He wasn't expecting the bright smile to be sent in his direction. Hongjoong was Mingi's friend, not his. They didn't know each other, they barely ever _talked_ to each other.

Wooyoung was balancing between bouncing in joy because Hongjoong, _the coolest guy of their school_ was noticing him, or hiding behind Yeosang because Hongjoong, _the coolest guy of their school_ was noticing him.

He didn't need to make a choice though, because when he met Seonghwa's eyes by accident, his blood turned cold. He quickly put his head down to look at his feet instead, trying to keep himself calm and to not fret about the fact that _Seonghwa was staring at him_.

Sure, it was weird, and Wooyoung would have all the rights to feel uncomfortable if it happened for the first time. 

But it wasn't the first time. It wasn't the second one either.

Something shifted in Seonghwa a few days ago and he suddenly started to hang out with San at any moments of the day. Wooyoung had been delighted to see the brothers’ bond growing stronger each time they saw each other, and San had been so joyful for the past few days, Wooyoung almost felt like hugging Seonghwa for making him happy. 

But just as Seonghwa started to spend time with his little brother again, the stares started as well.

Every time Wooyoung sat next to San, Seonghwa was there, with his intense eyes and a deep frown on his forehead. Every time Wooyoung was alone with San, Seonghwa would stare at him.

And yeah, Wooyoung tended to be overly dramatic over those kinds of things and he believed Seonghwa wasn't staring _that_ much, or at least not in a bad, murderous way, but there was clearly something bothering him about Wooyoung.

Well, great, because Seonghwa’s entire being was bothering Wooyoung.

With a sigh, he decided to brush any thoughts about San’s brother aside and let his eyes wander somewhere else, where he could avoid Seonghwa and stop himself from being overly suspicious.

His eyes fell on the canvas Hongjoong had settled there a few seconds ago, and he slightly gasped when he finally looked at it, for real this time.

It was an illustration. A splendid illustration.

Wooyoung took a step forward to admire it from closer, completely ignoring the conversation Mingi had started with Hongjoong. From up close, he could see mesmerizing traces of paint on the canvas, a multitude of colors melting together to form a drawing.

It was so beautiful.

The painting represented the Beauxbatons castle, but everything seemed darker, scarier. Grey and brown were melting together to form the clouds, a few rays of sun trying to escape from the foggy forms to brighten the castle. A thick mist had been magically animated and it was floating in front of the building, drowning the entire drawing in a creepy atmosphere. Wooyoung appreciated art and could tell when a piece had been meticulously done, but this was beyond anything he had ever seen. It was absolutely amazing.

“It’s so beautiful…” Wooyoung whispered, the words passing his lips before he could hold them in.

He had been discreet, but his comment halted Mingi and Hongjoong’s conversation. He felt the tip of his ears heating up when he saw all their heads turned in his direction, and he was about to apologize for interrupting them when Hongjoong’s entire face lit up.

"Of course it is !” he said enthusiastically. “San made it !"

A weird sound escaped Seonghwa's lips, and Hongjoong slapped his hand over his mouth, eyes wide.

"I wasn't supposed to say that," he whispered behind his hand.

Both Seonghwa and Wooyoung snorted at his words, and Wooyoung froze. He glanced at Seonghwa, only to catch the older doing the same, and they both looked away in a hurry.

Ah. This was so awkward.

Fortunately for them, Mingi was the best at breaking awkward situations. He burst out laughing.

Loudly.

"You did the exact same thing last year !" his friend exclaimed, pointing at Hongjoong with an accusatory finger.

"Stop laughing ! Don't point at me !" 

Wooyoung didn't know if Hongjoong was supposed to be adorable or scary, but he chose to take a step back when the older jumped on Mingi to silence him.

Or try to silence him.

Or… Something ?

Honestly, Wooyoung wasn't sure what he was supposed to make out of the scene unfolding in front of him. Mingi was still laughing, supporting himself with his hands on his knees as he stumbled a few times in his hilarity. Hongjoong was hanging on his friend’s back, both of his arms around Mingi's neck. 

Come to think of it, he was probably trying to strangle him.

Tiny people were scary.

It took them a while, but Hongjoong eventually calmed down when Seonghwa stepped into the scene and gently brought him down, circling his boyfriend’s waist with his arms.

Mingi continued to tease, a sly smile on his lips when he realized Hongjoong couldn’t attack him anymore, until Yeosang kicked his shin.

He went silent pretty fast after that.

"It's okay,” Yeosang turned to Hongjoong with a delicate smile. “We won't tell anyone."

He received a grateful smile in response.

"If San knew the number of times you spilled something like that…" Seonghwa chuckled, tightening his hold around his boyfriend. Hongjoong pursed his lips into a pout. 

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"I know," Seonghwa smiled. He put a kiss on Hongjoong's temple, and Wooyoung melted.

Screw Seonghwa being weird and scary. He was still part of the cutest couple of the century, and Wooyoung was still incredibly soft for them.

“Our first party of the year is coming soon !”

Mingi’s voice broke their intimate moment and they all turned to look at him. He was happily hopping on his feet, pointing at the frame.

Wooyoung had been so caught on the beauty of the illustration, he failed to notice the big letters written in red paint in the top right-hand corner.

'HALLOWEEN NIGHT - OCTOBER 31’

Oh. Already ?

Time had passed so rapidly for the past few weeks, Wooyoung hadn’t even realized they were in October already.

A bubble of happiness formed in his chest and he started jumping happily with Mingi, both of them giggling in eagerness.

He loved Halloween. He didn’t know when this party started being held at Beauxbatons, he always thought these festivities originally came from Muggles but after reading a few books retracing the life of other Wizarding Schools, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

Honestly, he didn’t care either.

As long as he could have fun with his friends and laugh about other people’s costumes without caring about curfew, there was no need to know why they were partying in the first place.

"Does that mean you're still in charge of the music this year ?" Mingi asked when their excitement toned down and he turned to Hongjoong.

A wide smile appeared on the older’s lips.

"Yeah ! The playlist is almost done !" he answered, _bouncing_ on his feet.

“Are you going then ?”

The bouncing stopped. Hongjoong’s smile dropped.

And Mingi’s did, too.

He was the one who asked the question, but Wooyoung pinpointed the moment his friend regretted his words.

“No, I…” Hongjoong started, but the sentence stayed lingering in the air.

Seonghwa had lowered his head and somehow, he seemed even more uncomfortable than Hongjoong and Mingi combined. He took a step back, slowly sliding his arms away from his boyfriend’s waist.

But Hongjoong slapped his hands on Seonghwa’s, keeping them in place. He seemed to regain his composure in an instant, a genuine smile suddenly brightening his face.

“I can’t ! I have a date with the hottest man in school that night. Sorry !”

Oh dear.

This was the cutest shit ever.

Seonghwa hid his face against his boyfriend’s shoulder, but Wooyoung managed to see the hint of a smile on his lips. He brought Hongjoong closer and whispered something in his ears, only to receive a loving smile and a gentle kiss on the corner of his lips a second later.

Honestly, Wooyoung wasn’t sure he could survive any longer.

Yeosang coughed and the two lovebirds slightly jumped, making Mingi snort.

That was the moment Jongho chose to appear, laughing loudly with two of his friends.

They just rounded the corner and were still at the very end of the hallway, but Wooyoung could hear them without even trying.

Jongho’s friends were loud.

Like, _loud_ loud.

Louder than Mingi, Yunho, Wooyoung AND San combined.

Wooyoung didn’t know them well, because they were also Changbin’s friends and he tended to avoid seeing him as much as possible during the day (don’t get him wrong, Wooyoung loved Changbin but when his friends were around, things usually became dangerous), but he could recognize a few.

Like the one with an arm thrown over Jongho’s shoulders, for example. He was Hyunjin, a Fifth Year from his ballet class who was a bit too pretty for Wooyoung’s liking. Having Seonghwa in his class was enough, couldn’t Wooyoung be the hot one at least once in his life ?

He didn’t know the name of the other one, but he seemed to be Jongho’s closest friend, aside from San.

He was cute.

They reached the middle of the hallway and as soon as Jongho noticed them, he sent a polite smile to Wooyoung and Yeosang, which they both returned as kindly.

His smile grew bigger when he turned to his fellow music partners.

“Hey Mingi ! Hi Joong !” he waved happily, freeing himself from Hyunjin’s hold.

Then, his hand stopped. And Wooyoung held his breath.

He was used to Yunho ignoring Seonghwa. Hell, he was used to _all of them_ ignoring Seonghwa.

He wasn’t used to Jongho’s way of dealing with the situation.

They hadn’t known each other for long, but Wooyoung had been there a few times when Seonghwa and Jongho ended up in the same room. Most of the time, Jongho would stay silent and ignore San’s brother, things would stay as they were and everything would be fine. Perfect. Amazing. _Chill_.

But sometimes, his fingers would curl into a fist and San would put his hand on his to calm him down. Sometimes, he would stare at Seonghwa for long seconds, waiting for him to turn, talk, do _something_. Sometimes, he would be bold enough to take a step forward and talk to him, but San would put a hand on his chest and shake his head, stopping him from going any further.

Each time, a veil of sorrow would darken his face.

So when Jongho opened his mouth to talk and Seonghwa suddenly looked away, Wooyoung lowered his head.

He didn’t want to see the dejected look on Jongho’s face. He wished San was there to take his best friend in his arms. He wished Seonghwa could stop being such a prick.

Damn, he hated this situation. He hated that. He hated the fact he couldn’t do anything, he hated the way his heart squeezed in his chest, he hated the lump forming in his throat, he hated Seonghwa, he hated th-

A hand slid in his, stopping his thoughts.

He looked up, startled, only to meet Yeosang’s eyes. His best friend offered him a reassuring smile.

 _‘Breathe,’_ Wooyoung heard his silent words.

Breathe.

He nodded slowly, trying to push aside the flood of thoughts invading his head. He needed to relax. Jongho was fine. Jongho was a strong boy. Jongho wasn’t even Wooyoung’s friend.

He squeezed Yeosang’s hand.

“ _Thank you_ ,” he mouthed with a tiny smile.

Yeosang was about to answer when a loud voice made them jump, breaking the tense silence that had settled in the hallway.

“Wow, that shit is gorgeous !” Hyunjin shouted, his eyes stuck on San’s painting. He had slid an arm around Jongho’s shoulders again, but his hold seemed tighter than before. Protective.

Wooyoung smiled. Jongho had good friends. Loud and chaotic, but nonetheless caring.

“Is that San’s ?” the cute one asked.

Jongho’s eyes widened.

He almost jumped on his friend, slapping a hand over his mouth. Wooyoung felt a sense of deja-vu.

“ _Felix !_ ” Jongho whisper-yelled. “How many times do I have to tell you ?! You're not supposed to know that !”

Felix, Wooyoung supposed this was his name, threw his arms in the air.

“My bad !” he mumbled behind Jongho's hand.

From the cussing Jongho let out an instant later, Wooyoung guessed Felix licked his hand, smiling brightly once his lips were free. He turned to them with shining eyes.

“It’s not San’s ! I don’t even know who this San is ? Who’s San ?!”

Both Mingi and Hyunjin burst out laughing as Jongho rubbed his temple, eyes closed.

“We’re going to leave and you’re going to pretend none of this happened,” he said, a deep sigh following his words. He threw both of his arms around his friends’ shoulders, an awkward smile on his lips. Honestly, he looked scary.

“Sorry about that !”

And a second later, they were gone.

“I love his friends,” Hongjoong laughed as he wiggled away from Seonghwa’s arms to take his bag abandoned on the floor.

“They’re wild,” Wooyoung agreed, just as Yeosang whispered “they are _crazy_ ”.

“Well, we better go now," Hongjoong said once his bag was thrown over his shoulder. "It was really nice talking to you guys."

He added the last part looking at Yeosang and Wooyoung, his smile genuine.

Wooyoung kind of wanted to hug him.

After a few waves and a lot of smiles - even a tiny, awkward one from Seonghwa - they parted ways to go to their next classes. Mingi was bouncing on his feet, a wild smile on his face.

“Joong is so nice ! I’m glad you could talk to him for a bit !” he said, and Wooyoung couldn't agree more. 

Even if Seonghwa's gaze had made him slightly uncomfortable at first, he was glad they could spend their break like that. Hongjoong was an inspiring person, a role model for many and Wooyoung had always known he was nice. Today had simply proved him he had been right all along.

"You should ask San to come to the Halloween party," Mingi added, looking at Wooyoung as they turned a corner.

Wooyoung frowned. "Why wouldn't he come ?"

"You haven’t noticed ?" Yeosang turned to him with raised eyebrows. 

"Was I supposed to notice something ?"

They started climbing the white stairs leading to the astronomy room and Wooyoung frowned at his friends.

"San doesn't go to parties," Yeosang eventually explained, a hand on the golden handrail.

"Same goes for Seonghwa," Mingi added. "Hongjoong stays with him every time there's a party, that's why he's not coming either. Just like Jongho with San."

Wooyoung stopped in the middle of the stairs. "I didn't know that."

He felt a sudden wave of guilt at the revelation but tried to brush it off. He didn’t have any reason to feel bad. He wasn’t San’s friend before, he couldn’t know. Mingi and Jongho were close, and Yeosang knew everything…

His friends passed by him in the stairs, leaving him a few steps behind.

Why did he feel so bad ? Was it because he was the only one not knowing, or because for some reason, San never went to a party ?

"Ask him then,” Yeosang said, halting his climb to wait for Wooyoung.

He hastened to join his best friend. "Why me ?" 

"Who else ?" Yeosang answered, shrugging. 

Wooyoung frowned. What ?

"What do you mean ?" he asked, trying to read his best friend’s expression.

Yeosang seemed genuinely unbothered by his own words, confusing Wooyoung even more. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Mingi trying to hide a smile.

What…? 

"Anyway,” Yeosang brushed him off as they reached the top of the stairs. He opened the door of the astronomy room and turned to Wooyoung. “ _I’m_ the one sitting with Mingi for the next three hours. That’s what you get for refusing to repay me.”

  
  
  


**Sunday, October 4**

Yeosang was the most boring person in the entire universe.

No, Wooyoung wasn't exaggerating.

He had been bugging him all afternoon, trying to catch his attention so they could get some fresh air together and go on a walk with Fée and Alfredo. But after all his efforts, Yeosang didn't spare him a glance.

 _'I want to work on my herbarium today. Give me a glass of water or leave me alone,'_ he had said. Wooyoung had no idea how he managed to stay calm and avoid any broken nose. He was against violence, but his best friend was _infuriating_.

In the end, Wooyoung went out by himself.

He spent a great time pampering Fée and they ran together for a while behind the castle, enjoying the nice weather. It had been fun, Wooyoung laughed a lot and he believed Fée was happy too.

They met San in the daisy field.

Just as the many times Wooyoung found him sitting there, San was drawing on his sketchbook, his loose cream-colored shirt floating with the wind.

With a smile, Wooyoung sat with him, leaving Fée to run freely in the field.

After the afternoon they had spent in the middle of poppies on Wednesday, they made a silent agreement to come back to the fields as often as they could. Things unfolded naturally, neither of them saying anything.

Whether it was during a break, after a meal, or once classes ended, San would take his hand and bring him to one of the fields, usually the one full of yellow flowers Wooyoung didn't know the name of. He would open his sketchbook and draw, and Wooyoung would simply lay there, enjoying a bit of peace.

They didn’t come here _all the time_. They still spent a great amount of time with their friends.

But somehow, San always knew when things were _too much_ , when Wooyoung's thoughts were overwhelming, when he needed some air.

And San's presence always managed to ease his mind.

When he had woken up from his nap on Wednesday, his irritating thoughts had dissipated, and he didn't feel like shit anymore.

San had fallen asleep next to him.

And Wooyoung had let his mind wander.

Why did life make him wait for so long before he could meet this boy ?

And now that he did, what did he do to deserve such an amazing person to stay by his side for an entire afternoon ?

Was San an angel ?

There was no way a simple boy could appear in his life and make everything better in such a short amount of time, without asking for anything in return.

San was just too nice.

“Hey, San?" he murmured after a good hour of silence.

His friend hummed, keeping his eyes on his sketchbook. He was using charcoal today, and the fingers of his right hand were completely covered with dark stains but he didn't seem to mind.

"Are you going to the Halloween party ?" he asked, feigning indifference.

Honestly, he was anything but indifferent. 

He had been _terrified_ to ask, and even the nosy part of him stayed weirdly silent every time he weighed the pros and cons of asking _the_ question. 

But there was another part of him, a part he still knew nothing about that kept pushing him forward.

And Wooyoung came to realize. 

He didn't want to know _why_ San couldn't come. 

He simply wanted him to come.

San glanced up from his sketchbook to look at him for a split second, immediately returning to his drawing once he met Wooyoung's eyes.

“I never went to one,” he confessed. “I usually spend the night with Jongho in one of our dorms.”

He was using his usual tone to talk and his answer seemed natural, but his fingers had stopped moving. He wasn’t drawing anymore. His eyes stayed stuck on his sketchbook and he started tapping on his knee with his clean hand, a frown forming on his forehead.

Wooyoung wasn’t an expert at reading people, but he could tell San had been bothered by the question.

He needed to change the subject.

"I see, well I th-”

“It’s my aunt,” San blurted out. 

Wooyoung stopped, his heart missing a beat.

He hadn't been expecting the interruption. He hadn’t been expecting San to talk about _his aunt_. Yunho himself tended to grimace everytime he brought her in a conversation about San, it seemed like a touchy subject.

San put his piece of charcoal on the grass and started playing with his fingers, spreading black stains on both of his hands.

“She always says we aren’t supposed to have fun and that partying would make my grades drop," he continued. "I know it’s stupid but I grew up with these kinds of thoughts so I had a hard time understanding she was wrong and I could do whatever I want.”

The look on his face told Wooyoung he wasn’t finished talking. He closed his sketchbook and put it next to his charcoal, a tired sigh escaping his lips.

“My family…” he started, but stopped as soon as the words were out. He bit his lips, looking down at his hands.

“San, you don’t have to tell me," Wooyoung murmured, looking at the growing frown on San's face. "I don't want you to feel pressured or anything if you're not comfortable enough to talk about it."

Pushing San out of his comfort zone was honestly the last thing Wooyoung wanted. He didn't mind not knowing. Wooyoung would consider San his friend with or without his story. As long as San was comfortable.

A faint smile replaced San's frown.

“I know," he said, meeting Wooyoung's eyes. "I just… I feel like I can talk to you. I know you’re not going to judge me or pity me or anything, and I feel like we’re becoming good friends so I feel the need to tell you. It’s important to me.”

Something tightened in Wooyoung's chest.

Oh. _Oh_.

San considered him as his friend. San _trusted_ him. 

Wooyoung knew now wasn’t the time to feel so happy, but he couldn’t help the bubbles of joy from spreading inside him.

He let the thoughts aside for now though, focusing on San.

“You can trust me then.” He offered San a reassuring smile which San returned, only less bright and maybe a tad nervous.

He took a deep breath.

“My parents died when I was three,” San started, fiddling with his fingers. “They were aurors and they were _amazing_. But even if the Wizarding World is more peaceful now, it's still a dangerous job. They both lost their lives during a complicated mission."

He lowered his head again. 

"I miss them,” he breathed out.

Wooyoung really wanted to tell him he didn't need to continue, but he knew San had made up his mind and it would be rude of him to interrupt. He gently put his hand on San’s instead, brushing a thumb over his skin in reassurance.

A tiny smile lingered on San’s lips. Slowly, his free hand found its way on top of Wooyoung’s.

“Our aunt took us in then. I spent most of my life with her but she never felt like family. She’s cold and mean, she doesn’t care about our happiness and has this _obsession_ about us being perfect at everything.”

It rang a painful bell in Wooyoung’s mind. He put the thoughts aside, not wanting to think about his father in this situation.

Or in any situation.

“I’m certain she agreed on raising us only because of the massive heritage Hwa and I received from our parents. We have a huge mansion and she’s living her best life in it. Of course, she would be happy to raise us.”

He let out a frustrated sigh. Wooyoung squeezed his hand.

“I’m only waiting for the year to end so Hwa can finally take our money and start his life away from her, taking me with him in the process. It's annoying because I don’t want to step between Hwa and Hongjoong, they need to create their life together and I would be a nuisance… But I know I can’t stay with her any longer, not without Hwa by my side.”

“I don’t think Seonghwa would leave you behind,” Wooyoung felt the need to add.

“Honestly, I don’t think either,” San answered, a genuine smile lighting up his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to be friends with you all sooner. You guys are amazing and I knew you would be great friends. But I needed some time to accept that standing for what I wanted wasn’t a bad thing and that I had the right to disobeyed my aunt if I felt like it was the right thing to do.”

They shared a look and San’s smile only grew bigger. The bubbles of joy were back in Wooyoung’s chest.

“I’m glad you took this decision. I’m glad we became friends."

He swore he saw a spark of light in San’s eyes, a flash of happiness that made his eyes shine, and his face light up. His cute dimples were back on his cheeks. 

“I think I’ll come to the party,” San said at last, intertwining his fingers with Wooyoung's on his lap. The charcoal smudged on their skin. 

“Okay,” Wooyoung breathed out, because he didn’t know what else to say. He was also completely struck by how bright San looked right now, and how soft his hand felt against his.

“Okay,” San repeated.

They stared at each other without saying anything, hands linked and stupid smiles stuck on their face.

It wasn’t until Fée breathed right next to his face that Wooyoung remembered where he was and that his horse was also here with them. Reluctantly, he let go of San's hands with a sheepish smile and stood up to give his horse some attention. 

San took his sketchbook back from the grass, a giggle escaping his lips when Fée tried to kiss Wooyoung.

A moment later, they were back to their bubble of tranquility.

And Wooyoung’s thoughts were loud again, but this time, he didn't mind. Because all he could think about was San. 

San, who lived through so much yet stayed strong. 

San, who could do so many things and helped everyone.

San, who cared about his friends.

San, who could brighten Wooyoung's days. 

San, who was an angel.

San, who was so, so pretty.

 _San_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definition of 'Auror' : An Auror was a wizard or witch who acted as highly trained law enforcement officials for magical governments. Auror training was extremely difficult and intensive, so there were few qualified applicants.
> 
> Thank you for reading ! Brace yourself for the next chapter... 🖤


	8. October : Week 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW slight mention of a panic attack I guess ? It's faint, but just in case (on Sunday)
> 
> Enjoy 🖤

**Five weeks ago**

_Curfew had passed a long time ago when Yunho went out of the bathroom after his shower. He threw his towel on the white sheets of his bed and stretched out a bit, the tip of his forefinger almost touching the crystal chandelier hanging above his head. A few drops fell from his hair and he shivered at the contact on his skin, taking his wand to use a hot-air charm on his head. His mother would be furious to know he rarely dried his hair properly, but he was too lazy to use a towel. Besides, he was simply going to bed, his hair was the last thing he could care about right now._

_His day had been long, but he couldn’t stop smiling thinking about all the things that happened during the day. Yunho had loved spending his vacation with his brother but he was glad to be back and be able to see his friends every day again._

_Wooyoung and Mingi were still loud, and Yeosang was still tired of them all._

_Yunho had missed them a lot._

_He had also missed the dorms._

_Yunho had always loved having roommates. He was aware sharing a room with three other people could be demanding, San being one of the many examples of people having a hard time getting used to it, but Yunho was simply happy to live with new friends every year. He loved his dorm as well. Sure, he was a bit tired of seeing white everywhere, on every wall and every furniture, but in the end, it was the color Beauxbatons gave him when he was 13 and he was proud of it._

_Still, he wished they could personalize their rooms a bit more. If it wasn’t for the few vases full of baby’s breath San had already started picking, the salmon pink ornaments adorning the walls or the pretty curtains around the windows, the room would be boring. Their beds were all aligned side by side, almost two meters separating each of them, a bedside table in white marble in the middle. San had taken the first bed all the way to the left and naturally, Yunho took the one next to him. Their roommates didn’t care much about the placements of their bed, so it had been easy._

_It was late, but Yunho’s roommates didn’t seem to mind. Soobin was sitting cross-legged on his bed, right in front of a whining Mark. They both seemed a bit too invested in the card game they were currently playing._

_One person was missing._

_“Where’s San ?” Yunho asked after a glance at the empty bed on his left._

_His childhood friend was a model student. As much as he loved staying in Jongho’s dorm after dinner, he would always come back in time before curfew. They were starting a new year, sure, but Yunho doubted old habits would change in the span of a summer._

_Mark nodded towards the French window behind him, never taking his eyes away from the cards in his hands. “Balcony. UNO !”_

_Yunho snickered when he saw Soobin’s panicked face but didn't wait to know how the game would end. He made his way to the balcony, closing the door behind him once he was outside._

_He shivered violently when he felt the temperature drop. It wasn’t that cold but now that the sun was almost completely hidden behind the white mountains, Yunho could feel they had lost some degrees._

_San didn't seem to care. As expected, he was there, sitting at the end of the balcony, head turned toward the sky and eyes stuck on the stars above him._

_“Hey there,” Yunho said as softly as possible._

_San slightly jumped, visibly startled by the voice behind him. Turning to look at whoever came to intrude his peace, he relaxed as soon as he recognized his childhood friend. He gave him a small smile and moved a bit to the side, letting Yunho sit next to him._

_“Hey,” San answered back._

_Once he sat on the floor, Yunho let out a sigh and looked up at the sky. He knew why his friend was here despite the cold air._

_San loved stargazing._

_He loved it more than anything and Yunho could understand why. The night sky was particularly beautiful here at school, clear, high up between the white mountains. This place really was a gift for San._

_One summer not so long ago, when Seonghwa wasn't here with them anymore, they went stargazing together. Since that day, Yunho knew he would never be able to forget the look on San's face when he was watching the starry sky._

_And today, his gaze was the same._

_Body relaxed, eyes shining, a sad smile on the corner of his lips._

_He looked peaceful._

_For long minutes, they stayed silent, enjoying each other's presence and admiring the view. It felt good to see San after all these days apart._

_Since they had started studying here, it was probably the first time they had been away from each other for so long. Now that they were together again, Yunho realized how much he had missed his friend. He hadn’t said it to Jongho because he didn't want to make his brother worry even more, but Yunho had been really scared when San didn't show up at the beginning of the summer._

_Losing Seonghwa had been hard enough, Yunho was terrified something had happened to San as well. He was so scared San would change and become cold, lifeless like his brother. He thought about it continuously, the idea haunting some of his sleepless nights and never leaving him during the day._

_It had been hard._

_But now, San was sitting next to him, with his shining eyes and his soft smile, and Yunho’s heart felt heavy in his chest. He wanted to stay hopeful, but he couldn’t._

_San was supposed to be a ray of sunshine, a breath of fresh air. Yunho always associated him with the color gold, but now all he could see was grey._

_A sad, sorrowful grey._

_He wasn’t shining anymore._

_Something definitely happened during these two months of vacation, and Yunho couldn’t help but worry about his friend. He didn’t know how to bring the subject up without rushing San though, so he tried to be satisfied with simply enjoying his presence._

_“I saw you trying to eat a whole apple during dinner,” Yunho said, breaking the silence. “Care to explain what went through your mind ?”_

_San let out a faint giggle. “Jongho challenged me.”_

_Yunho snorted, shaking his head. Of course. San wasn't going to turn down a challenge, no matter how stupid it could be._

_“Of course he did,” Yunho snorted, rolling his eyes. It was so typically San. His friend would never turn down a challenge, no matter how stupid it could be. And Jongho was usually really glad to find stupid challenges for him._

_Yunho couldn’t fight the wide smile spreading on his lips at the thought. He moved a bit to put an arm around San, bringing him closer until his back was lying against Yunho’s chest. His friend let himself be comfortable in Yunho's arms and after a moment, his breath stabilized, his body relaxed, and Yunho saw his eyes slowly closing._

_The sight was soothing._

_“I missed you,” Yunho whispered, because he really did._

_And he missed their cuddles._

_Both Yunho and San had always loved cuddles. Since the very beginning of their friendship, they had constantly been into each other's arms, always finding excuses to hug. Now, they were 18 and aside from Yunho’s height, nothing had changed._

_Jongho wasn’t a hugger, or at least he liked to say so. Yunho knew deep inside, his brother actually liked skinship a lot but didn’t want to admit it to himself. It was a shame because Jongho’s hugs were amazing._

_Seonghwa was great at cuddles too. During their childhood, his arms were always open and welcoming when one of them needed to be comforted. His hands never too far to pat them on the head or to stroke their cheeks when he found them cute, which was very often, especially for Jongho. San used to hug his brother all the time and Seonghwa liked to keep his little San very close to him and ruffle his hair at any occasion. As months passed, it became a rare sight._

_Yunho let out a long sigh. Even their happy memories had a bad taste now that Seonghwa was… now that Seonghwa wasn't like that anymore. Yunho wished he could stop being so sad every time he looked back on some childhood memories. He needed to think about something else or his mood would be ruined for the rest of the night._

_San hadn't talked for a while and Yunho concluded he fell asleep here, in his arms. He was ready to stand up and put him to bed when San's voice stopped him from moving._

_“I missed you too, Yun," he whispered. "It was... It was a long summer.”_

_It was just a murmur, barely audible. Only a few words. Yet Yunho felt so many things coming from them. He could feel the struggle, the sadness._

_He felt the pain._

_Heart aching, Yunho tightened his hold around his friend and San let him do so, allowing himself to completely loosen up in Yunho's arms._

_“What happened ?” Yunho dared to ask, his voice low, not wanting to scare San away._

_His friend slowly shook his head in response and Yunho understood. Now wasn’t the time to ask this. Too soon. He decided it was better to drop the subject, for now, not wanting to force his friend to talk._

_Not that he could._

_When San didn't want to say something, he became a shell nobody could ever break, not even Jongho._

_So they settled into silence again, but this time the atmosphere was a bit sad, many unspoken words hanging in the air and weighing on their minds. Yunho hated that. He hated knowing something not so good was happening in San's life and he couldn't do anything about it. He felt a painful pang in his heart when he realized San's reaction was proof that yes, something definitely happened this summer. And it seemed painful enough for San to hide it from his two closest friends._

_Yunho sighed, his hand coming to San's hair._

_There was something else he needed to ask._

_“Have you fainted during the summer break ?” he whispered, starting to stroke the blond strands. He tried to push away the guilty feeling spreading in his chest once the words were out. He knew San didn’t like talking about this particular subject, but he had to make sure his friend was okay._

_“I didn’t,” San answered after a few seconds of silence._

_“That’s great. It’s been a while since you last did, right ?”_

_San sighed. “Yeah. About a year.”_

_He fidgeted a bit in Yunho’s arms but didn’t move away from his grasp. Yunho pushed his luck by asking another question._

_“When are you going to talk to Jongho about it ?”_

_He felt San tensing against his chest. His own hand stopped stroking his friend’s hair and he waited, gulping silently. He didn’t want to make San uncomfortable, but San was stubborn and extremely good at avoiding subjects, so this discussion wasn’t brought up a lot despite its importance. He had to ask._

_“Possibly never,” San said at last._

_“San…”_

_“No, listen,” San interrupted him, breaking their cuddles to turn and look right into Yunho’s eyes. “You know I wasn’t planning on telling you in the first place. You’re not supposed to know any of that.”_

_He probably didn’t mean to be harsh, but the words resonated painfully in Yunho’s mind. He lowered his head in guilt and bit his lips, not wanting to look at his friend._

_San wasn’t having any of it though. He put his fingers under Yunho’s chin and gently forced him to look up and meet his eyes again._

_“I don’t regret telling you, Yun.”_

_He held Yunho’s gaze for long seconds, never flinching, and Yunho knew exactly what his friend was trying to do._

_He wanted to make sure Yunho believed him. He wanted to show him he was sincere, that Yunho could trust his words._

_So Yunho did, because despite the many secrets San could hide, he was and would always be an honest person._

_Yunho nodded slowly, and it was all it took for San to let go of his chin, a sad smile on his lips._

_“I don’t regret telling you, but I don’t want to talk about it,” San said, breaking eye contact to look at his hands instead. “I don’t know myself what’s happening most of the time.”_

_He let out a sigh and his shoulder dropped, slightly._

_“I don’t want to bother or worry Jongho even more than I already do,” he said at last, and Yunho’s heart squeezed a bit in his chest._

_What could he do ? He himself hid so many things from Jongho over the years, to protect him and keep him away from any pain. Now that they were older, he didn’t have much to hide and they usually shared their struggles with each other, but he could understand San’s choice to keep Jongho aside._

_He couldn’t contest this point._

_“Okay,” he simply said then, before engulfing San in another hug._

_After a bit of moving, they ended up in the same position as before and remained in this position for long minutes, maybe hours, just admiring the now pitch-black sky full of stars. Probably catching a cold as well, but Yunho didn't care much._

_He simply wanted to be there for his friend._

_He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he had started to doze off when San patted his knee._

_“Isn't that your friends ?”_

_“Mmh ?”_

_Slowly coming back to reality after San’s words, Yunho frowned as his eyes tried to follow where his friend was now pointing. In front of them was the Ciel dorm, the pastel blue one. Nothing new. Yunho didn't understand what San was trying to show him._

_“On the left,” San added, an amused smile hanging on the corner of his lips when he noticed Yunho was looking in the wrong direction. Following San's instructions, Yunho turned his gaze on the left… And gasped._

_There, right in front of them - and a little bit on the left - he could clearly see Wooyoung and Yeosang from the window of their dorm. The latter was calmly reading on his bed while Wooyoung was tackling some tiny dude with big muscles, both of them apparently trying to kill each other with cushions. Tiny dude with big muscles being Changbin, one of their mutual friends. Yunho could almost imagine Wooyoung's screams and didn't know how Yeosang could survive with these two as roommates._

_Wait._

_No, he could actually hear Wooyoung. How loud could this man be ? It was insane._

_“I can't believe it, we can see them from here ! That's so cool !” Yunho exclaimed._

_He probably moved a bit too much for San’s liking, marking the end of their cuddle session._

_“Now you can choose whether to tell them or to spy on them and discover all their embarrassing secrets,” San said with a mischievous smile and wiggling eyebrows._

_That was San's thing, wiggling eyebrows. Yunho looked at him with wide eyes and his friend burst out laughing. Yunho had missed it. San’s laugh. His heart felt warm again when he saw how happy his friend looked, even if it was only for a few seconds._

_Eventually, Yunho joined him in his laugh and took him back in his arms. The need to protect and cuddle San was strong tonight._

_“I need to think about it. It's a very serious and important decision, you know," Yunho said, slightly arranging their position so they were both comfortable, "If Changbin wins this fight, I can laugh at Wooyoung's face for the entire year and he will never know how I got this information.”_

_San simply snorted in response. Despite his friend being back in his arms, Yunho could still see the curious look in his eyes as he was watching the scene happening at the window in front of them._

_Yunho knew San secretly wanted to get to know his friends. If it wasn’t for his stupid aunt and her stupid prohibitions-_

_Someone had opened the window of Wooyoung and Yeosang's room, and now they could definitely hear Wooyoung screaming. Very clearly._

_Way too clearly._

_How could Yeosang still read without even flinching ? The only reasonable possibility would be a silencing charm around his bed or something. Yunho hoped Yeosang finally managed to learn it after all those years because the poor guy needed it the most with a best friend like Wooyoung._

_They heard a loud crash, the sound of glass breaking, and then nothing. The room was now completely dark and they couldn't see anything anymore._

_“Seems like your friends will start the year with some hours in the dungeon,” San snickered._

_Well. Yunho could only laugh at them. The second he learned Wooyoung Changbin and Yeonjun were roommates, he knew Jongho had a chance to not take the title of “Worst room of the year” for once._

_Poor Yeosang._

_A particularly cold breeze made Yunho shiver and San absentmindedly brought his hands to his arms to keep himself warm. They would definitely catch a cold if they stayed outside any longer._

_Yunho sighed, detaching himself from San to stand up._

_“We should go to sleep,” he said, offering San his hand. “Come on.”_

_It wasn’t until they were both in their bed, comfortably settled under their blankets that Yunho allowed himself to worry again._

_San wasn’t fine._

_San wasn’t the same as before._

_He sighed for the umpteenth time tonight and turned in his bed to face the wall._

_No. It was okay. It was just their first day of school. They had plenty of time to understand what was wrong and what they could do. Yunho would find a way to help him. Jongho too._

_San would be fine._

_San would be fine._

  
  
  


**Tuesday 6, October**

Yunho had never been a heavy sleeper. In fact, he was always the one waking up when Seonghwa and San slept over and one of them needed a glass of water in the middle of the night, always the one to open his eyes when one of his roommates went to pee.

He had been graced with the ability to fall back asleep easily, and he had always been glad to be up when one of his roommates had a bad dream and needed someone to comfort them. He did it with Jongho for years, and now that they couldn’t sleep together anymore, he felt useful by doing so with his roommates.

So when Yunho started to hear some muffled sounds, it was only natural for him to wake up. He had no idea what hour it was, but the dark sky he could see from his window told him they were still right in the middle of the night.

The muffled sounds slowly increased in volume and Yunho forced himself up, trying to clear his mind from sleepiness. He blinked a few times, taking in his surroundings and the noise that kept growing louder and louder.

When the mist of sleep dissipated from his mind, Yunho sat up straight on his bed, heart beating fast.

San.

San was panting.

He jumped out of his bed and rushed to his childhood friend’s, hands starting to shake in concern.

Please, _not again_.

But Yunho’s hopes crashed down as soon as he took a look at San’s condition.

His friend was frowning in his sleep and gesticulating at a weird pace, as if his whole body was in pain. Large drops of sweat were running on his forehead, making his strands damp and he kept whimpering painfully, a bit louder each passing second.

Yunho cursed under his breath as he sat down on San’s bed, trying to stay calm and focused on the task at hand : wake him up.

He hoped his other roommates wouldn’t wake up in the meantime. The only silencing charm Yunho knew was too difficult to execute and his mind wasn’t focused enough to do it now. He had already been Soobin’s roommate and knew his friend was a heavy sleeper, but he could only hope Mark was one too. He was snoring loudly at the moment, so Yunho considered himself lucky. For now.

“San,” he started, whispering toward his friend.

Nothing.

San continued to move around in his bed, kicking the blanket at his feet and curling his hands into fists. His lips were trembling and his frown kept deepening.

He was in pain.

“San, _please_ , you need to wake up.”

Yunho bit his lip, hating to see his friend suffering, even if it was only in his head. These visions, or dreams, or whatever San had been having for the past few weeks had been a bit too real for Yunho’s liking, and he started to feel genuinely scared by the situation.

He reached for San’s shoulder and shook him a bit, but his friend didn’t react.

San clenched his jaw and Yunho heard him grinding his teeth as he grabbed the sheet under his hands to squeeze it _hard_.

“San…”

Of all the times Yunho had woken up to a whimpering San, this one was the worst. Usually, his friend would wake up as soon as Yunho touched him, but both of Yunho’s hands were on San’s shoulders and _he wasn’t waking up_. Why wasn’t he waking up ?!

Yunho’s throat tightened and an uncomfortable feeling spread in his stomach when tears fell from San’s eyes.

“San. San !” 

He was about to reach for San’s cheek when his friend suddenly sat up with a loud gasp, almost knocking in Yunho in the process. Fortunately for both of them, Yunho had been fast enough and moved on time to avoid any harm, but now San was panting hard and looking at him with wide eyes.

“San ?” Yunho called carefully, slowly sitting back in front of his friend. “Hey, it’s me. Are you okay ?”

The tears were still falling on San’s cheeks but he stayed completely immobile, looking straight into Yunho’s eyes.

“San ?”

No answer.

Yunho frowned. Something wasn’t right.

San wasn’t looking at him.

Yunho waved his hand in front of San’s face and indeed, San didn’t flinch. He didn’t even blink, nothing. He stayed there, staring right in front of him, with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Yunho truly wanted to stay calm, but something tightened inside him as he started to panic.

“San. You have to come back.”

With trembling hands, he cupped San’s cheeks and tried to meet his eyes.

“Come back to me San. _Please_.”

His heart was beating so fast he could actually hear it, but he wanted to keep his entire focus on San.

 _Come on_.

 _Come on San_ !

And San coughed hard.

It had been so violent Yunho jumped in surprise and San pushed him away as he struggled to take a breath between his coughs, a hand gripping at his chest.

Yunho wanted to cry. As soon as San started having bad dreams a few days ago, he knew something would turn wrong but this was way beyond his expectations. Bad dreams weren't supposed to be physically painful, not to this extent. 

When the coughing slowed down, and Yunho himself felt like breathing again, San kept his eyes down on the sheet.

“San ?” Yunho murmured, not daring to touch him. “Are you with me ?”

A faint nod.

San brought a hand to his face, stroking his cheek with the tip of his finger.

“Yeah…” he breathed out. His fingers moved from his cheek to his temple, and he frowned. He looked confused. “Yeah.”

“San…”

“Can I stay with you tonight ?” he interjected, not giving Yunho a chance to talk.

Yunho knew way too well his friend was trying to avoid the subject, but today had been too much. He bit his lips as he stared at San, weighing the pros and cons of forcing San to have a discussion now.

In the end though, he couldn’t see it in himself to force San to do anything, not when his cheeks were still full of undried tears and his voice sounded so broken.

With a sigh, he stood up from San’s bed and went back in his own. He put the blanket up and patted the mattress.

“Come here.”

San didn’t waste a second. He followed Yunho on his bed and curled up against him, his body disappearing under the blanket. Yunho gently slid his arms around San, noticing the way his friend’s body was shaking. With difficulty, he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and closed his eyes.

“We’ll need to talk about it San,” he whispered. San cuddled closer. “This can’t continue like that, and you know it.”

He felt a faint nod against his chest. A trembling arm circled his waist and San gripped the fabric of Yunho’s pajama in his back. He nodded again.

At least he had agreed. Yunho knew bringing up the subject once the night had passed wouldn’t be easy, but it seemed like San himself had been particularly scared tonight. This one had been violent. They clearly needed to have a talk.

“Thank you,” Yunho said at last. “You can sleep now. I’ll stay here.”

He put a kiss on top of San’s head and felt the grip on his back tightening.

This was bad.

San wasn't fine.

  
  
  


**Friday 9, October**

To Wooyoung’s most pleasant surprise, Hongjoong sat at their table for lunch.

He had been sitting by himself when they entered the room, and Mingi had kindly offered the older to join them. Hongjoong had hesitated at first, throwing a few glances at the door, but he eventually sighed and accepted the offer with a warm smile. 

He naturally sat next to Mingi, but the younger got absorbed in a conversation about Muggles with Yeosang, and now he was completely ignoring Hongjoong. San had joined their conversation at some point, talking loudly right into Yeosang's ear. His best friend flinched a few times, but he never pushed San away. San's privilege, Wooyoung guessed. 

He wondered if Yunho went on rants about Muggles with San too. He guessed he did. Yunho ranted a lot about Muggles, at any given occasion.

Speaking of Yunho, Wooyoung came to the conclusion both he and San were hiding something. He couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong, but there had been a switch in Yunho’s behavior lately, or at least toward San. Something felt off between them, and Yunho looked _scared_.

But Wooyoung wasn’t the best at reading people and there was a slight possibility he was being completely wrong, but he would keep his eyes open, just in case.

Next to him, Jongho was fidgeting on his seat and Wooyoung was reminded that the younger had exceptionally joined them for lunch too, once he saw Hongjoong there. San had given him his wildest smile but they didn’t sit together, making Wooyoung a bit too happy. He would never want to break the two best friends' bond, and he believed it couldn’t ever be broken, but he was delighted to see San had definitely taken his own place in their group of friends.

Jongho looked glad too.

Once Wooyoung started to dig into his vegetables, he decided to join the conversation Yunho was having with Jongho and Hongjoong, rather than the one about Muggle books. Stuffing a broccolis in his mouth, he perked up at Seonghwa’s name.

“He’s acting weird,” Hongjoong was saying in a low voice. Why did he feel the need to talk so silently ? “And I feel like we’re barely seeing each other. We’re both working like crazy during the day and I told him to spend more time with San so it’s understandable, but at night he just… Disappears. We’re still trying to spend our free afternoons together but…” he shrugged. “Yeah…”

“He’s not spending that much time with San,” Jongho answered, voice just as low. “Not as much as last week at least.”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Wait, really ?” 

“Yeah. He’s not avoiding San anymore so that's cool, and they talk every time they cross paths, but they didn’t have any brother bonding getaway either. San seems fine with it though. I think he’s just glad Seonghwa is talking to him normally.”

He took a huge bite of turkey.

Like, _huge_ huge.

No matter how cute Jongho was, there was definitely something scary about him. Wooyoung suppressed a shiver.

“Wait, that’s weird,” Yunho was frowning, sitting between Hongjoong and Jongho. “Where is he then ? You said you couldn’t find him in the library or in his dorms. If he’s neither with you or San…”

The words lingered in the air and Yunho’s frown deepened.

“Should we follow him ?” Jongho perked up, voice so low Wooyoung barely heard him.

“No !” Hongjoong snapped.

Both Jongho and Yunho - and Wooyoung - flinched at his reaction. It hadn't interrupted the three others' conversation as they were still talking and laughing together, but it dragged the mood down on their side of the table.

Hongjoong seemed to realize his outburst, and he bit his lip, his gaze falling on the table.

“I’m already talking behind his back. I don’t want to stalk him as well,” he murmured.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Jongho lowered his head to look at his hands, and Wooyoung’s heart broke a bit. This boy needed to be protected. He looked hurt and embarrassed, and all Wooyoung wanted was to give him the biggest hug ever.

It seemed like he wasn't the only one thinking so.

“No, _I’m_ sorry,” Hongjoong reached toward his friend on the table and put a delicate hand on Jongho’s. He offered the youngest an apologetic smile. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I know you only want the best for him, to make sure he’s okay.”

It was faint, but Jongho reciprocated his smile, and Wooyoung felt slightly better.

“You’re right though,” Yunho said once Hongjoong took his hand back. “We should have faith in him. He’ll be okay, right ? He’ll come for us, for you, if he really needs help. Right ?”

Hongjoong smiled.

And Wooyoung grimaced.

He knew this kind of smile, and oh boy, he hated it. It was this smile, the one that felt more sad than happy, the one that looked genuine, and painfully fake at the same time. The kind of smile that showed a lot but hid much more.

Seeing it on Hongjoong’s face made Wooyoung uncomfortable.

“Of course he will,” the older said at last. 

And as weird as it seemed, even Wooyoung didn’t believe his words.

They went back to eating in silence.

  
  
  


**Sunday 11, October**

Wooyoung loved swearing and honestly : fuck this entire situation.

He was currently sitting by himself on one of the stone benches behind the castle, legs pressed against his chest and face hidden in his arms.

His friends had left him alone to have fun in their favorite village.

It had been an entire month since they had started school again, but they hadn’t decided on going out of the school grounds until now. Sunday escapes were fun. Their school being lost in the mountains, they had the authorization to wander in the surrounding villages, on condition of filling a form indicating which village they chose, with who, and for how long. Third years and students from the classes below had to go with a professor and usually went in little groups, but being Sixth Years, Wooyoung and his friends only needed the form.

They had been planning their Sunday all week and Wooyoung had been the one who pressed them to go. He had been eager to have fun with his friends outside.

But his father had called through the fire of the common room this morning, and now everything was ruined.

Without any surprise, his father learned about Wooyoung’s grades in potion. Wooyoung got the lecture of his life and like every time his father opened his mouth to talk to him, Wooyoung hung up with a heavy heart and a lump in his throat.

Yeosang had tried to comfort him but Wooyoung snapped at him not once, but _three times_ and now he felt both sad and guilty. He loved his friends and he usually needed them by his side when he was upset, needed to know they were here and ready to give him hugs and cuddles, but when his bad mood was caused by his father, things were more complicated.

After he yelled at Yeosang’s face for the third time in the span of two hours, he felt so embarrassed he asked his friends to leave him alone, forcing them to go to the village despite him staying there. Of course, they had immediately refused and Yunho had already started planning on doing something else so they could stay close to Wooyoung if he needed them, but he had been categorical. He would only feel worse knowing they changed their plans for him.

So they left, not before engulfing him in hugs Wooyoung didn’t reciprocate.

Fuck.

His friends were amazing.

He really wasn’t.

He didn’t deserve them.

The more he thought about it, the harder it was for him to stay calm. He was a bad friend. He was a bad student. He was a bad son. He was going to fail potion and lose his right to stay in this school, just as he was going to lose his friends. _Fuck_ , he wouldn’t be able to do _ballet_ anymore and his father would force him to join the ministry, and he would deserve everything that would come into his face and-

“Wooyoung, _breathe_.”

His thoughts stopped.

He hadn’t noticed he had started struggling with his breathing until the voice snapped him out of it. He took a deep, shaky breath to calm his beating heart, noticing only now the way his hands were shaking on his knees. He curled them into fists and hid them between his tighs, trying to stop the trembling.

When his breathing settled down and he felt like his body was in a normal state again, he slowly raised his head.

San was there, standing in front of him with his pretty eyes and shiny hair. His eyes were full of concern.

“How are you feeling ?”

Wooyoung’s mind was still a bit too foggy to answer that. He looked right into San’s eyes, knowing the sight could ease his mind, and he simply shrugged.

“Do you think you can walk ?”

His voice was soft, appeasing. Wooyoung nodded without even thinking about the question.

“Okay,” San murmured, but he didn’t move. He simply put a hand on Wooyoung’s knee, lightly stroking the bare skin that escaped from his ripped jeans. Wooyoung closed his eyes at the soothing touch, repressing a shiver.

The trembling of his hands slowly came to a halt, and so did the hand on Wooyoung’s knee.

His mind had cleared up a bit more and he looked at San with a faint smile.

“I’m okay,” he confessed at last, his voice wavering just a bit.

“I’m glad then.” San’s hand left his knee to come into his view. “Come on, I want to show you something,” he said, smiling brightly.

And seeing this smile, Wooyoung couldn’t do anything but take the offering hand.

He stood up when San pulled on his hand, his body complaining with ugly cracks for sitting in this uncomfortable position for so long. Wooyoung’s suffering made San giggle and he squeezed Wooyoung’s hand, starting to walk away from the castle.

And Wooyoung followed.

He followed San as they crossed the garden behind their school, he followed him when they passed the poppy field, he followed him when they entered the forest. And Wooyoung was pretty sure he should be scared or at least a little bit alarmed when they kept walking and he couldn’t recognize this part of the forest, when he couldn’t see any surrounding mountains because of the sudden darkness of the place, or when he noticed they were way past the authorized perimeter.

But San was still holding his hand and Wooyoung felt safe.

He trusted San.

They stopped at some point, and Wooyoung couldn’t suppress the shiver running down his spine when he took a look at his surroundings.

He has done a lot of forbidden things with his friends here at school, from stupid to borderline dangerous, but walking in the forbidden forest had never been on his list. It wasn’t that they had never tried to, but Mingi was genuinely scared by a lot of things, the forbidden forest being one of them, and they had all agreed their prohibited escapades had to be with the four of them, Mingi included.

Wooyoung ended up forgetting about this place, but now, he couldn’t stop looking above his head in awe. Trees were so high here. And _huge_. Their trunks were so thick Wooyoung was sure he couldn’t circle one with his arms and Yunho’s combined. Their branches raised up high and the foliage was so dense Wooyoung could barely see the sky. The entire place was bathed in darkness.

This forest was as menacing as it was mesmerizing.

San let go of Wooyoung’s hand and for a second, he suddenly felt empty. He was about to say something or reach out for San’s hand again, when San suddenly whistled, making him jump in surprise.

A few seconds later, a winged horse was standing in front of them.

Wooyoung sucked in a breath. It wasn’t just a winged horse, it was the fucking _most breathtaking_ winged horse Wooyoung had ever seen.

And _maybe_ Wooyoung was exaggerating, but he was in the middle of the darkest forest and this horse’s robe was so white it seemed to be shining.

Wooyoung took a step back, astonished by the beauty of the animal.

“Well, Wooyoung, let me introduce you to Crescent,” San said, and Wooyoung had _almost_ forgotten he was there for a second. “Crescent, this is Wooyoung. I talked to you about him.”

The horse henned loudly, his wings flying on both sides of his body and messing Wooyoung’s hair with the wind they created.

Damn, Crescent was beautiful.

“Oh my, you should see your face,” San giggled as he brushed his cheek against Crescent’s muzzle. “He doesn’t bite, I swear.”

“Is he yours ?” Wooyoung managed to ask as he took a careful step forward.

“Not really. Let’s say we both adopted each other a few years ago, mmh ?” San put his forehead on Crescent’s muzzle and Wooyoung needed a lot of willpower to prevent himself from screaming at how adorable this scene was.

“M. Sabot knows about it,” San continued. He stroked the horse’s neck, gently. “He allows me to go fly with him whenever I want, as long as I don’t get caught. I’ll fly with him tomorrow ! I have a plan perfectly set up for Jongho’s birthday.”

“What is it about ?” Wooyoung asked, following San when his friend waved him to come closer. They sat on a big rock a few meters away, San on the top so he could continue to pamper Crescent with love.

His smile grew brighter at the question, a mischievous glint lighting up in his eyes.

“We’ll fly to Jongho’s window after curfew and I’ll sneak inside. Crescent knows the way back and Jongho’s roommates are fun. They will gladly help me break a few rules.” He snickered to himself, his nose crunching up.

Cute.

“Jongho always takes a shower at 10 PM. I’ll hide in his bed and surprise him.”

“And then ?”

“And then I’ll cuddle him to death.”

Wooyoung burst out laughing at San’s determined face, not expecting such an answer. San’s high-pitched laugh followed his, and Crescent neighed, making them both laugh harder.

“With that being said,” San continued once their laughter died down, “the most important point of it all is that I will be the first one to wish him a happy birthday tomorrow. Yunho won once, but _never again_.”

“Your Jongho is lucky. Yeosang put a dozen slugs in my bed for my birthday last year.”

Oh, how Wooyoung had wished he had never befriended Yeosang that day. He _hated_ slugs.

San snorted. “He did ? Wow, I like this guy so much.”

That made Wooyoung laugh. He expected a comment like this one. San and Yeosang were so different yet so alike for some things ; weird things, usually. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but Wooyoung was overwhelmed by warmth knowing his best friend and San were getting along. There was something pleasant and _soft_ in the way they would laugh together, at Wooyoung most of the time, or share their passion for flowers. Wooyoung couldn’t describe how and why it made him so happy, but he was glad. He loved them both so much.

Huh.

Wait.

Wooyoung frowned.

When did San become so important ? When did San take a place so big in Wooyoung’s life that he made him as happy as _Yeosang_?

What… What happened ?

His mind suddenly blurry, Wooyoung glanced over at his friend.

San was still talking about his surprise and how amazing Jongho was, but Wooyoung couldn’t focus on his words.

He shouldn’t have looked up. The scene unfolding in front of him was too much for him.

San was still petting his horse, his smile never leaving his face and his eyes were forming the little crescents Wooyoung liked so much. His dimples were on full display and he kept giggling cutely every time Crescent breathed into his face. 

Fuck, he was adorable.

The forest was getting darker as time passed, but somehow, Crescent was still shining. It wouldn’t have been a problem if Wooyoung hadn’t noticed how stunning San looked next to his horse. His blond hair was a mess but he didn’t seem to mind, and his white tunic kept floating with the wind… He was shining just as much as Crescent. No, he was shining _brighter_. He was mesmerizing.

He turned his head and his eyes met Wooyoung’s, and they were so deep, so _beautiful_ , so shiny and so-

His heart skipped a beat.

Wooyoung’s eyes widened.

“...oyoung ?”

Wooyoung’s heart was racing. He slowly brought a hand to his chest, trying to put his thoughts into place and understand _what the fuck just happened_ , but he could feel his heart beating faster every time he looked at San and all he could focus on at the moment was…

Well, nothing.

His mind was completely blank.

“Wooyoung ?” San called again, but this time, Wooyoung heard him clear enough.

He looked up and met San’s eyes again.

“Are you okay ?”

The question made him blink a few times. Was he okay ?

He kept a hand on his chest, trying to _think_. His heart seemed to be slowing down.

He nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry, I spaced out for a second.” He let out a faint chuckle and put his hand back on his laps, playing with the holes on his jeans to keep them busy.

“Okay…” San didn’t seem entirely convinced, but Crescent henned right into his ear and he jumped, giggling cutely a second later.

Things went back to normal after that. Wooyoung tried to push aside everything that had happened for the past few minutes, and San’s cheerfulness helped him calm down.

They continued to discuss for hours, San talking about this new art project he was working on and Wooyoung avoiding any subject about classes and grades. If San had noticed, he didn’t say anything and Wooyoung was thankful for that.

Neither of them knew what time it was, but it started to be _really_ dark and they agreed that staying in the middle of an unauthorized part of the forest for so long without informing anyone beforehand wasn’t a good idea. They waved their goodbye to Crescent, Wooyoung promising to come to see him again soon and San telling him he would come back in a few hours for his plan. Then, they left.

Once close to the school building again, Wooyoung noticed most of the students were back from the villages and he guessed his friends were back too. Wooyoung’s stomach twisted uneasily.

“I gotta go prepare Jongho’s gifts,” San told him once they arrived in front of the castle. He was smiling so brightly Wooyoung kind of wished it could be Jongho’s birthday every day. San was beaming with happiness today. “I just saw Yunho’s head by the fountain. I thought you would want to know.”

He did. He smiled back at San, maybe not as wide but as genuine as he could.

“Thanks. I’ll see you at dinner ?”

“Yes ! See you later, Wooyoung.”

San waved lightly at him and turned on his heels, in the direction of the dorms. But before he could go any further, Wooyoung called him again.

“San ?”

San turned around, eyebrows raised in a silent question.

“Thank you. For today. You helped me a lot again.”

The smile he received in return could compete with the sun. Warmth spread everywhere in Wooyoung’s heart as he smiled back, feeling giddy and weirdly happy.

“Anytime.”

San waved again, and this time, Wooyoung let him go. He watched him until his blond head disappeared behind the shaped trees, smiling to himself.

Then, and only then, he took his leave too, going straight to the fountain.

He needed to apologize to his friends.

And taking San’s words, Wooyoung was ready to _cuddle Yeosang to death_.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I simply want to point out that I'll be putting A LOT of platonic cuddles in this fic, so just so you're aware, I'm not planning on writing any other ship than the ones I already put in the tags. No love triangle, no unrequited love. Just lots of cuddles and beautiful friendships 🖤
> 
> Thank you for reading, have a nice day/night 🖤


	9. October : Week 3

**One Year Ago**

_When Jonhgho woke up in the middle of the night to a loud crash coming from his window, he didn’t even flinch. He kept his eyes closed, let out a long sigh and simply waited for the dizziness of sleep to dissipate, waiting for the next sound he knew would come at some point._

_If the first crash had come from outside, the second was definitely from inside._

_It was followed by some curse words Jongho was too tired to care about, and he couldn’t help but snort._

_“Don’t laugh at me ! My foot is stuck !”_

_San. San had broken into his room, for the umpteenth time since summer had started. After so many attempts to climb up the tree in front of Jongho’s window, San was supposed to be great at that._

_But no, he was and would always be a mess of limbs trying to be smooth and failing miserably, falling from branches more often than not and making way too much noise for someone who was trying to be discreet._

_There was no way Jongho’s parents had never noticed. But it had been years since San had started his nocturnal getaways, and no one ever scolded them. Jongho guessed they knew but didn’t care. It was San after all._

_“I’m not moving,” he eventually whispered back, turning in his bed to face the wall instead._

_He heard a few grumbles followed by a thump and a whine, so Jongho guessed San’s foot was free now._

_One second later, his friend was smashing the keys of Jongho's piano._

_Jongho sat up in his bed at the speed of light, suddenly wide-awake._

_"What are you doing ?!" he hissed, looking at San for the first time since he arrived._

_"Sorry !” San whisper-yelled. “I forgot your room is a freaking music shop !"_

_He had made his way to Jongho’s bed in the meantime, and Jongho groaned, lying back on his mattress._

_San was such a mess. Jongho could already feel the headache he would wake up to in the morning._

_Still, he moved a bit to the left on his bed to give some space to his friend, and he felt the mattress dip at the weight of another body._

_“And you should just cover your piano keys, there’s a lid for a reason,” San muttered as he snuggled against Jongho behind him, sliding his arm around his waist._

_“Or you should learn to walk properly,” Jongho answered, but he couldn’t suppress a smile._

_As annoying as San could be while entering his room, he was always welcomed. Jongho couldn’t remember when or how it started, but at some point, cuddling with San at night had become a habit of some sort. Jongho would never say it out loud, but he loved San’s cuddles, and he was delighted to see his friend’s love for hugs and closeness had never died down over the years._

_Sometimes, they would talk for hours and forget to go back to sleep, only to be scolded by Yunho in the morning because they wouldn’t be able to wake up at an appropriate time. Some other times, San would simply crash into his bed and they would both fall asleep, cuddled against each other._

_And that was exactly what seemed to be happening now. After a few minutes had passed and San hadn’t said anything, Jongho concluded they would simply sleep today._

_“Goodnight,” San whispered against the back of his neck, confirming Jongho’s thoughts._

_He smiled, allowing himself to relax in San’s arms, ready to go back to sleep._

_“Goodnight Sannie.”_

_And he waited for sleep._

_It never came though, because somehow, Jongho could feel San wasn’t ready to sleep yet. At some point, his best friend started fidgeting a lot more than usual and Jongho put his hands on San’s, trying to calm him down._

_“You okay ?” he asked discreetly, the fidgeting stopping instantly._

_“Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind.”_

_Ah. So he did come for a reason today. Maybe not to talk, but because he couldn’t sleep._

_Jongho slightly squeezed his hands._

_“Wanna talk about it ?” he asked, knowing that yes, San wanted to talk about it but didn’t know how to bring up the subject._

_He waited patiently, almost hearing the cogs turning in San’s mind as his friend was no doubt weighing the pros and cons of talking._

_Eventually, San let out a long sigh, his hold tightening around Jongho._

_"Do you miss Seonghwa ?" he suddenly asked, eventually breaking the silence._

_The question was simple, but Jongho’s heart suddenly squeezed in his chest._

_They had managed to avoid the subject as much as possible since the beginning of summer, and Jongho had been glad. He knew San would bring it up at some point, but Jongho hadn’t been able to prepare himself for a discussion like this one._

_He would probably never feel prepared enough._

_"I do,” he answered after some time, playing with San’s fingers to distract himself from the knot forming in his stomach._

_"Me too."_

_Jongho couldn’t help but roll his eyes. "You'll see him in a month."_

_"No, I mean… The usual Seonghwa. Smiling Seonghwa. The one who loves you and Yunho with all his heart, buys us ice cream and joins our cuddles piles. I miss him. And I'm sorry he's behaving like that with you."_

_The knot in Jongho’s stomach climbed up to his throat and he gulped, closing his eyes._

_San’s words were painful._

_They hit right where they could hurt, weighing on the part of Jongho’s mind he had tried to avoid over the months, where his painful thoughts had stayed hidden._

_He missed Seonghwa so much._

_"It's not your fault Sannie.”_

_"But he's still talking to me,” San sighed. “I feel guilty."_

_No. This wasn’t right._

_No matter how painful the situation was, San had not reason to blame it on himself._

_Jongho let go of San’s hand and turned around in his bed to lay on his side, facing his best friend._

_"San,” he started, searching for his friend’s eyes in the darkness. “It hurts, sure. But I'd be heartbroken if he stopped talking to you. For you, and for him, it's important. I'm mad at him but I'm also concerned for him. We don’t know what happened so for now, I'm just glad he still has Hongjoong and you by his side."_

_San didn’t answer right away. A few seconds of silence passed before his best friend snuggled closer and gently pushed Jongho against the mattress to settle his head on the younger’s chest._

_Out of habit, Jongho’s hand slid into San’s hair._

_“You’re too good Jongie,” San muttered. “I’m not sure he deserves your kindness, not after how much he hurt you.”_

_And Jongho knew that. He knew he shouldn’t be so nice with Seonghwa. He knew he should be mad, maybe even hate him._

_But he couldn’t._

_"I still consider him as my not-blood related brother,” he answered, gently stroking San’s head._

_He still had hope. It was silly, seeing how things fell apart as months passed, but Jongho wanted to believe their friendship was stronger than what Seonghwa was going through. He wanted to believe Seonghwa still cared for him, still cherished their bond, their love._

_Jongho couldn’t give up on his big brother._

_He let out a sigh and stopped stroking San’s hair to put his arm around him instead, bringing him close._

_He still had his real brother. And he still had San._

_As long as they stayed together, there would still be hope._

_“I’m sure deep down, he still considers you as family too,” San whispered against his chest. “He will always do.”_

_Jongho tightened his hold around San, swallowing the lump in his throat._

_He wanted to believe San._

_No, he_ had to _believe San._

_They could continue to hope. They would continue to hope._

_Jongho slightly smiled to himself, letting go of his painful thoughts to focus on the hopeful ones._

_With the warmth of San’s body against his, and the familiar smell of his rose shampoo, Jongho allowed himself to let go, feeling his body relaxing in San’s arms. He slowly drifted off._

_As long as there was faith, things would be fine._

  
  
  
  


**Monday 12, October**

Wooyoung wasn't a spy. The idea of becoming one had crossed his mind a few times when he was still a kid with big dreams to fulfill, but he had realized soon enough that he wasn’t really cut out for this kind of job.

He was nosy, that was for sure, and it was useful to get information he shouldn’t be having, but it wasn’t enough. He was shit at reading people and even worse when trying to understand what the fuck could be going on.

So when Yunho kept looking concerned around San and Hongjoong was seen alone more often than not, Wooyoung couldn’t put the dots together to understand what was the matter, despite the many conversations he had overheard over the past few days. He did try, many times even, but the situation was slowly starting to make him nervous and he wanted to avoid any additional stress.

He had enough with his father these days.

It hadn’t been an easy task for the nosy part of him, but he eventually decided to give up. Yunho was a big boy, and an amazing friend. If there was something really dangerous or important going on, he would talk to them. He would come for help. And honestly, if Wooyoung wanted to know something, he could just ask his own best friend.

Yeosang wasn't a spy either, but he truly acted like one. Wooyoung was pretty sure his best friend knew something, or at least a bit more than Wooyoung and his poor attempts to spy on his friends. He hadn’t said anything yet though, and Wooyoung couldn’t tell if it was a good sign or not, but he didn’t want to prey. San was still shining and smiling every day, so Wooyoung had concluded things were fine, or at least fine enough.

Today was a special day though, and San was _blinding_ everyone with his beaming smile.

It was Jongho’s birthday, and he was sitting at their table for breakfast.

Wooyoung didn’t know if San’s plan had gone well yesterday night, but Jongho seemed happy and so did San, so he guessed things were fine.

San was glued to his best friend’s arm and Jongho seemed to be struggling to reach for what he needed on the table. He wasn’t complaining though, and in the end, he used his other arm to take the waffles placed right in the middle of the table.

Honestly, Wooyoung would have done that too. He couldn’t push San away.

All in all, breakfast was a mess.

Wooyoung and his group of friends had always been loud, he knew that well, but today was even worse. He didn’t know if there was something about having a birthday boy at their table that made them so hyped, but they were _wild_. Just like Jongho’s friends.

It had been only a few minutes since they started eating and three professors came to their table to scold them already. Wooyoung wondered how many slices of bread he would be able to eat before they would be kicked out for real.

They had been talking about their Halloween costumes for the party this year and unsurprisingly, things got out of hands. Yunho had whispered something to Mingi and the latter snorted so hard the orange juice he was drinking came out of his nose. Now he was crying and Yunho was rolling on the floor, laughing so much he was starting to cry too. Of course, as if it wasn’t enough, San's high pitched laugh could probably be heard from the other side of the room. Yeosang was hiding behind his hands but Wooyoung was sure his best friend was giggling.

For once, Wooyoung wasn't the loudest. He had woken up _starving_ and his only goal when he put one foot in the dining hall had been to eat as much bread as physically possible. Mouth full, he tried to ignore the mess happening right next to him and turned to the only other person who seemed to think food was more important too : birthday boy.

To be honest, Wooyoung didn't know Jongho that well yet. As close to San as they both were, they actually crossed paths a lot and always smiled politely to each other, but that was it. He didn't know why they hadn't actually talked to one another yet and if there was even a reason for it, but the problem stayed the same.

Yeosang and Wooyoung weren’t friends with Jongho.

Well, okay, _maybe_ Wooyoung actually knew why things weren’t going forward.

Jongho was as scary as he was cute.

He was a Fifth Year, and anyone younger than Wooyoung was automatically cute. Jongho’s face was squishy and _adorable_ . It was even worse when he was laughing ; he had the tiniest, cutest teeth in the world and his eyes would form little crescents just like San. Wooyoung wanted to pull him in a blanket and keep him warm and safe _forever_.

But Jongho was buff.

Wooyoung saw him break an apple with his bare hands once, and since then, he decided Jongho was the scariest student of their entire school.

Wooyoung was intimidated, to say the least. And he guessed Yeosang was too, because he had never tried to start any conversation with the younger. 

But Jongho was San’s best friend, and San was their friend now. It was only a matter of time until they would befriend Jongho too.

Why wait ?

"Wanna come ?" Wooyoung blurted out before the thought could reach his brain.

Shit shit shit.

Wooyoung was _not_ panicking.

He did _not_ shiver when Jongho raised his head and met his eyes, mouth half full. Okay, now Wooyoung felt bad for asking a question just when Jongho had taken a huge bite of his waffle. The younger didn’t seem to mind though. If anything, he looked lost.

It helped Wooyoung ease his racing heart.

"To the village on Sunday," Wooyoung clarified. "We're going shopping for our Halloween costumes. Wanna join us ?"

Oh fuck, he did it.

And now Jongho was staring at him and _shit_. Was that a best friend thing ? The intense gaze ? Did Jongho learn it from San or did San learn it from Jongho ? What did Wooyoung throw himself into ?

"Is he going to be there ?" Jongho asked, and Wooyoung _almost_ jumped.

Okay, he needed to calm down. It was just Jongho. San’s best friend. Adorable Fifth Year, Mingi’s friend, Yunho’s brother. Chill.

Wooyoung gulped discreetly as his gaze followed where Jongho was pointing.

He couldn't help but snort when he realized he was talking about Yunho.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Wooyoung laughed. “We need him, his puppy face is a gift for bargaining."

"Oh, so you're just using him," Jongho deadpanned. Wooyoung was ready to jump on the table and beg for mercy but the younger continued : "You and me both then. I quite like you."

Oh. Well.

He didn’t expect that.

He wasn't going to complain though. Jongho didn’t break his head like an apple and he just said he liked him.

Not bad Wooyoung, not bad.

San chose this moment to join their conversation. He eyed Wooyoung weirdly, visibly confused by the fact he was having a conversation with _Jongho_.

“You like Wooyoung ?” he suddenly asked and Wooyoung spat out the orange juice he had been drinking on the table.

It sounded _wrong_.

“Not like that dumbass,” Jongho rolled his eyes as he put another waffle on his plate. “He was being mean to Yunho, which means he’s a good one. Keep him.”

_Keep him_. The words resonated in Wooyoung’s head, and he felt his ears heating up.

What was that supposed to mean ? _What the fuck ?_

Wooyoung turned to San for help, but he regretted his choice pretty quickly. San’s cheeks were dusting in pink and he was as adorable as he seemed embarrassed. His friend cleared his throat, trying to look unphased.

“Y-you were being mean to Yunho ?”

Okay, someone helped Wooyoung. Why was the world against him ? He thought reaching out to Jongho was a good idea, that things would be easier after that. He hadn’t been expecting the duo San/Jongho to be so deadly.

Jongho was a baby ! Babies weren’t supposed to be so rude !

How did Yunho survive spending his entire childhood with the two of them, together ?!

They were dangerous. Wooyoung was scared.

“Please stop bullying my best friend, he can’t defend himself and I’m too lazy to help,” came Yeosang's voice, and Wooyoung almost threw himself in his arms. Almost. He was too scared to move at the moment. “I think you’re scaring him,” Yeosang laughed.

Betrayal. So many years of friendship to be betrayed in the end.

He heard San snorting and now he regretted getting out of his bed this morning.

No, he wasn’t being dramatic.

“Wooyoung,” San called, and as much as Wooyoung wanted to hide and never talk to his friends ever again, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at him. “I know Jongho can seem scary but I swear he’s just a cute teddy bear inside. Don’t forget he’s _Yunho_ ’s brother.”

Wooyoung wasn’t convinced, but San’s smile was reassuring. He held his gaze for a few seconds before nodding, reciprocating his smile.

“I’m as dangerous as San is an angel,” Jongho added before putting an entire waffle in his mouth. Wooyoung couldn’t do that. How could he do that ?

“We're safe then,” concluded Yeosang and Wooyoung should have protested because _San was an angel_ , but he wasn’t so sure of that lately. San smirked way too much to be entirely angel.

Jongho offered a kind smile to Yeosang as San kicked him, and a few seconds later, the younger was starting a conversation with Yeosang. Wooyoung was glad they managed to break the ice. Jongho was still scary though, and now Wooyoung was exhausted.

He glanced at San but his friend was doing just the same and their eyes met, startling both of them. They both giggled though, San’s cheek turning a light pink.

_Adorable_.

So what if Jongho was scary ? He was San’s best friend.

What if San wasn’t as angelic as he seemed and transformed into a double demon when he was with Jongho ? Wooyoung would have to learn to deal with it, but he knew he could manage.

“Thank you,” San mouthed, a dimple smile brightening his face.

Yeah, Wooyoung could manage.

  
  
  
  


**Thursday 15, October**

“Fuck.”

Wooyoung slammed the door against the blue wall of his dorm and the entire room trembled, but he was too upset to care. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Changbin opening his mouth to talk, but his friend seemed to read the mood and stayed back on his bed.

Yeosang came in a second later, closing the door behind him.

“Woo, you need to calm down,” he said as if it was the most evident thing ever.

Well, yeah, he did need to calm down. But with how tight his chest felt and how much he was struggling to keep the tears in, it wasn’t that easy.

He sat on his bed with a sigh and put his head between his hands.

“Shit.”

He got a new grade. Potions again.

He had worked _so hard_ for this test, he honestly did his best, but it hadn’t been enough.

It hadn’t been _nearly_ enough.

His grades were fine, or at least fine enough, in every other subject, why did he have to fail potions so bad ? What went wrong ? Why couldn’t he be smart for once in his life and let his father be proud of him ?

He sighed again.

He was exhausted.

He wanted to cry so bad, but frustration kept him on edge and he was _so fucking tired_.

He heard the door of their room opening and closing and guessed Changbin left to give them a bit of privacy. The bed dipped when Yeosang sat down next to Wooyoung, gently putting an arm around his shoulders.

“Woo. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologise for, Yeo.”

His best friend slowly shook his head. “I want to help, I really do. I know we tried many times already and obviously, I don’t know how to tutor properly, that’s why I’m sorry. It’s frustrating to know I can’t help… I swear we’ll find someone who can help you Woo.”

Despite the mess of sad thoughts in his mind, Wooyoung couldn’t help but smile faintly at Yeosang’s words. His best friend had always been hard to read and didn’t show his emotions. Seeing the dejected look on his face made Wooyoung’s heart warm. Yeosang was genuinely sad for him. He cared for him.

Damn, Wooyoung loved his best friend so much.

He put his head on Yeosang’s shoulder, sighing in defeat.

“It’s not your fault. You guys did your best already, and I’m really thankful for that.”

He closed his eyes, letting the familiar scent of Yeosang calm him down. A mix of orange blossom water and vanilla. He smelled like home, and now Wooyoung suddenly missed his mom. He missed her call, her sweet voice, her kind words. He was tired of always hearing his father, always getting his hopes up when he received a letter, only for it to be full of hurtful words written by him.

Tears gathered in his eyes as a lump formed in his throat, and he nuzzled closer to Yeosang, hiding his face in his best friend’s neck.

“We can skip dinner if you want,” Yeosang murmured, and Wooyoung nodded. He didn’t want to see anyone right now, not in the pitiful state he was in. He needed cuddles, and Yeosang’s gentle arms around him.

“It’ll be okay, Woo. Things will get better.”

He kept the tears in and nodded, trying his best to believe his best friend’s words. He trusted him.

After all, Yeosang was always right.

  
  
  


**Friday 16, October**

Talking with Yeosang had helped a lot. Cuddling with Yunho during their lunch break had made his heart lighter. Laughing at Mingi’s jokes had lifted up his mood for the entire day. Wooyoung was really thankful for his friends and wondered how he would have survived in this school if they weren’t part of his life.

But the day had been exhausting. As much as Wooyoung tried to distract himself, the problem was still there, weighing on his mind and never leaving him at peace.

Once classes ended, he asked for some time alone and his friends kindly let him go, not before engulfing him in a giant group hug.

Wooyoung went to his favorite secret place.

It was a simple room in one of the castle’s towers, full of stuff nobody needed covered in a thick layer of brownish dust. The school had a lot of rooms like this one, secret places that could be used as way-outs when things would become too overwhelming, the pressure too heavy on their shoulders.

This room was Wooyoung’s.

He opened the French window and made his way on the balcony, smiling to himself as he sat down on the sill. It had been a while since the last time he came here to have some peace.

He had found this place by accident, some time during his third year, and it had been his own hideout ever since.

Wooyoung cherished this place. 

It was high, so high he couldn’t even see the bottom of the castle on cloudy days, and Wooyoung loved sitting on the sill of the balcony, as dangerous as it was. Up here, he felt like he was above the clouds, flying. He loved it.

He was usually alone when he came here, because Yeosang wasn’t a big fan of heights and neither Yunho nor Mingi had ever managed to find this place, even after all of those years playing hide and seek in the castle. Wooyoung had always found some fun in ditching them and hiding when they had no idea where to find him. Yeosang probably had a good time teasing them as well because to this day, he never revealed Wooyoung’s location.

Now that he was older and didn’t play hide and seek anymore, Wooyoung used these moments alone to reflect on himself. Think about life, about what he wanted to do in the future, how things were doing now... How much he loved his friends, disliked his father, and wanted to see San. How potion classes were truly playing with his mood, in a bad way.

He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the door of the unused room opening and closing behind him as someone entered his peaceful place.

He slightly jumped when a hand came to hide Wooyoung's vision and he nearly fell off the balcony, but an arm was thrown around his waist to keep him in place.

“Found you ~” a singsong voice said behind him.

Wooyoung couldn’t help but smile.

He knew exactly who was here with him. It wasn't even the voice or the scent, but the simple fact someone made it here and had been searching for him.

Only San would do that.

Only San’s voice would be filled with happiness for the mere reason he found Wooyoung. It also meant San had been looking for him and the realization warmed Wooyoung’s heart.

He tried to turn around to look at San but the hand on his eyes wasn’t moving, keeping him in the dark.

“You're supposed to say _‘Guess who ?’_ when you do that, dummy,” he deadpanned and San let out a soft giggle in response. Wooyoung almost cooed at the sound.

Almost.

With a shyness he didn't know existed in him, Wooyoung brought his hand up and settled it on San's, silently asking him to let his vision free. Their fingers brushed playfully against each other’s and Wooyoung suppressed a shiver. Eventually, San took his hand away.

“You know it's me already, what would be the point ?” San asked, carefully sitting down next to Wooyoung.

He glanced at the scenery under them and winced a bit, choosing to straddle the sill and face Wooyoung instead of letting his legs dangle in the emptiness like him.

“Do you think you're my only friend or something ?” Wooyoung snickered. “Could've been anyone.”

San smiled, amused. “But you knew it was me.”

Now, he was wiggling his eyebrows, his smile turning smug, and Wooyoung rolled his eyes. He was slowly starting to see the ‘demon’ part of San, as Yunho liked to call it. Or at least the annoying part of him, and Wooyoung actually liked it a lot.

He looked away, trying to hide the smile that was threatening to appear on his lips. “Maybe.”

San seemed satisfied with this answer. He turned his head on the side to look at the sky, smiling brightly. 

Wooyoung loved that smile.

He didn’t know exactly why. Maybe because it kept growing as they spent more and more time together, maybe it was the dimples effect. Whatever the reason, Wooyoung always felt warmth bubbling up his chest when he could witness it.

He had been here a month ago to witness the sad looks in San’s eyes, the long sighs, the deep moments of reflection. The desperate attempts to talk to his brother. But he had also seen the changes. Bit by bit, San’s smile had grown bigger, his laughs got louder, the glint in his eyes shined brighter.

He looked happy.

Wooyoung hoped San truly was happy.

Things seemed to have settled down between him and Yunho, and Wooyoung couldn't be happier.

Everything was fine now.

Silence settled between them as they watched the sea of clouds in front of them. The sun was slowly getting down to hide behind the mountains, bathing the entire scenery in orange light. They would have to go soon, or they would catch a cold.

Wooyoung threw a curious glance in San’s direction, only for his eyes to be stuck on his figure. For the umpteenth time since they went to the forest together on Sunday, Wooyoung’s heart missed a beat.

The setting sun was painting San’s face with different shades of orange, yellow and pink, his eyes shining along with his hair. He looked peaceful, his gaze settled far away, maybe on the mountains or somewhere on the flower fields they could see in the distance.

He was beautiful.

And somehow, simply watching him made Wooyoung feel at peace too.

“Why are you here ?” Wooyoung asked, voice low as to not break their bubble of serenity.

He didn’t get any answer but the smile on San’s face was talking on his behalf, and Wooyoung understood. Just as Wooyoung came to sit down next to San in the middle of daisies several times, San came here without any reason but to spend time with Wooyoung.

As much as Wooyoung wanted to hide his happiness from San, he couldn’t. His friend came all the way up here to stay with Wooyoung, how could he not be happy ? The moments he spent with San were one of his favorites and he was delighted to know the feeling was mutual.

How did he manage to live all this time without San in his life before ? Everything felt… _right_ when he was with him. It felt like they had been friends for years.

Things were easy with San.

They didn’t know much about each other yet, and Wooyoung would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know more, but there was no need to rush. It was only the beginning of the year, they would have plenty of time to learn more about each other.

“How are classes going ?” San asked, eyes following a dove flying a few meters away from them.

Okay, wow.

San had managed to kill the mood in just a second. Wooyoung’s smile dropped almost instantly and he kept his mouth shut, not really wanting to answer that.

San must have noticed something wasn’t right because he turned to look at him, eyebrows raised up in concern.

“Wooyoung ? I'm sorry, I didn't know-”

“It's okay, don't apologize,” Wooyoung immediately interrupted him. San didn't have any reason to apologize. It was a sensitive subject for Wooyoung, but his friend couldn’t have known. Wooyoung kept avoiding talking about it in front of him. He was the only one to blame for being so dumb and stupid and worthless…

He sighed, looking down at his hands.

“I'm just... It’s not going so well. I received these potions grades and I'm totally behind and... I feel- I feel really dumb.”

“Hey now, don't beat yourself so much, it's only one class-” San tried, but Wooyoung stopped him again.

“It _is_ only one class, yeah, but we both know how this school works, San. If you fail anything, people will look down on you. I-I can't risk that, I can't fail.”

He didn’t mention anything about his father but his voice broke at the end of his sentence. He wished he didn't sound so sad and desperate but these thoughts had been haunting him for days and it was the first time he talked about it to San.

He was ashamed of himself.

It was the same problem every year, the same self-deprecating thoughts, the same struggle. His father kept telling him the same thing over and over, but Wooyoung didn’t want to listen, didn’t want to let him be right. He knew Beauxbatons was too hard for him, the academic level too difficult to reach every year. But he always tried his best because he needed to stay, he needed these ballet lessons, he needed Yeosang by his sides. He needed to keep his friends, and his life, and... He couldn't fail. He couldn't risk losing everything just because he was _dumb_.

A hand slid into his, soft against his skin.

Wooyoung raised his head and met San’s shining eyes.

“You're not dumb, Wooyoung,” San started and Wooyoung wondered if he could read his thoughts. “You're not dumb at all. You're really smart and very competent, and you should be proud. Give yourself a little bit more credit. You're amazing. It's not because you fail one class that people are any better than you. You could even fail all of your classes and that wouldn’t mean you’re dumb either. We all have our weaknesses and it's normal, Wooyoung. It means you’re amazing somewhere else. Don't think about what other people can say about you, focus on yourself. You're doing great, and you're doing better every day so focus on that.”

San squeezed his hand and Wooyoung wanted to cry because his friend was _so nice._ He was looking at him with so much intensity Wooyoung could feel how genuine he had been with his words. 

Wooyoung couldn’t say anything, any words staying stuck in his throat.

San offered him a reassuring smile. “And besides, if anyone dares looking down on you I'll beat their ass.”

That made Wooyoung laugh as he imagined San trying to fight his father, and the smile on San's face only grew bigger.

San had found the exact words he needed to hear and Wooyoung was very grateful for that.

He laced his fingers with San’s, feeling himself smiling just as bright.

“Thank you,” he eventually murmured, barely audible but sincere.

They looked at each other and for a moment, neither of them dared speaking. San’s eyes were mesmerizing. Wooyoung still had a lot of thoughts he needed to organise in the mess that was his mind, but at least he was feeling a little bit better now. 

All thanks to San.

“You said everyone has weaknesses,” Wooyoung said, almost in a whisper. He loved the peaceful atmosphere that had settled between them. He didn’t want to break it. “What is yours ?”

It wasn't to compliment San or throw him under the bus, he was genuinely curious about what San could ever lack.

Honestly, he seemed flawless.

Best student of their year, impeccable grades, number one of all years in his speciality class, respected by everyone for his art even if no one ever saw it… He was handsome, polite, nice. Cute. Funny enough to have the best jokes but never pushing too far or being annoying like Wooyoung and Mingi could be sometimes. He was already an amazing wizard, no doubt more advanced that most of the Eight Years, his magic was breathtaking. He was-

“I can't summon my patronus.”

Wooyoung had been totally cut out of his thoughts by San's voice. He wasn’t sure he heard the words right.

“Huh ?” Wooyoung asked, blinking a few times.

San’s eyes fell on the sill of the balcony, where their linked hands were still lying.

“I can't summon my patronus,” he repeated.

He looked bashful, cheeks turning pink. Wooyoung was so taken aback by San’s sudden embarrassment he took some time to register what his friend had just said.

“I can help you,” Wooyoung blurted out without even thinking.

Maybe he should have taken more time.

The patronus charm was known to be a difficult one. Lots of students couldn’t summon their patronus, even during their last years of school.

Actually, Beauxbatons was one of the few schools which offered to teach the charm to their students, and it wasn’t even in their school curriculum. It had been an optional class during their Fourth Year, and Wooyoung and his friends took it just because it seemed fun and wouldn’t give them any extra homework. 

Neither Mingi nor Yeosang had been able to summon their patronus since then.

Yunho could summon his, but he struggled everytime he tried. His patronus was cute though : a golden retriever.

By some miracle, Wooyoung had summoned his patronus only after a few attempts. He still didn’t know how it happened and why he was so good at it, but honestly, he was a bit proud of himself. He never bragged though, not wanting to rub it in Yeosang and Mingi’s faces.

So failing to summon a patronus at their age was completely normal.

But San wasn’t any ordinary student. He was way more skilled than any people his age. 

Knowing he had a hard time with any charm was hard to believe.

Blurting out that he would help San without even thinking of the repercussions hadn’t been Wooyoung’s smartest move though. He had _no idea_ how he was supposed to help someone with their patronus. He knew by experience that he was an awful teacher.

But...

One glance at the look on San’s face and all his doubts vanished.

“Are you serious ?” San asked, the amount of hope on his face so evident Wooyoung would be the one to cry if he suddenly changed his own mind.

What was he gonna do ? Say no ? He couldn’t do anything against these dimples. So Wooyoung smiled, nodding. He could think about the consequences of his decisions later.

Possibly never.

“Of course. I'm not a good teacher or anything but I’m always willing to help a friend.”

“Let's make a deal then ?”

“A deal ?” Wooyoung repeated, tilting his head.

What did he have in mind ?

“Yes ! You help me with my patronus and I help you with potions ! I-If you want of course. I'm not pushing you or anything it's just a suggestion and I thought it would be a good idea and to be honest I kind of wanted to offer to tutor you for a while but I didn’t know how to bring up the subject and you can totally turn me down I won't get mad or anything it's okay it's..”

San was just rambling at this point, his voice fading at every new word that came out of his mouth until there was no sound anymore and only lips moving.

Wooyoung didn’t have to think twice. A chance to stop failing potions _and_ some time with San ? He would be the dumbest person ever to refuse.

“That’s a deal then !” Wooyoung exclaimed, a bit louder than necessary to stop the flood of words coming out of San’s mouth.

It seemed to work because San immediately stopped. He gave Wooyoung a sheepish smile.

“Let’s say.. Well, we have potion together on Tuesday afternoon,” San started, letting go of Wooyoung’s hand to stroke his chin as he was thinking. Wooyoung brushed aside the painful sensation of emptiness lingering against the skin of his hand. “We could stay together after class and go through what you didn’t understand during the lesson ?”

Wooyoung gave him his brightest smile. “Perfect ! And for your patronus, is Wednesday afternoon okay ? By the lake ?”

San nodded energetically, returning his smile.

“Yes, professor !” he chirped.

Wooyoung grimaced at the appellation. Oh please no.

“Oh my god, don’t ever call me that, this is embarrassing...”

“Teacher ? Sensei ? Mr. Jung ?”

A nightmare.

Wooyoung was suddenly living a nightmare.

He hid his head in his hands and hoped for the best.

“... Master ?”

Wooyoung abruptly lifted his head and gave San a look so horrified his friend bursted out laughing at his face. He swung dangerously on the empty side of the sill and Wooyoung pulled on his arm to keep him straight on the balcony.

San didn’t even look phased, still holding his sides and _wheezing_.

Well, how nice of him.

It took several minutes for San’s laugh to quiet down, and when it did, he looked exhausted.

Ha, must be tiring to laugh at Wooyoung’s face.

“Okay. I’ll call you Woo then. Is that okay ?”

Oh.

He liked that. More than he probably should, but who cared ? Definitely not Wooyoung.

He met San’s eyes again, and the two boys smiled at each other.

Yeah, definitely not Wooyoung.

“More than okay.”

  
  
  


**Sunday 18, October**

Maybe San had been right. Maybe Jongho truly was just a scary teddy bear.

It had been almost two hours since they started their Halloween shopping in their favorite village, and Wooyoung had been glued to Jongho’s side the whole time.

Not by choice.

Mingi, San and Yunho had been busy screaming and giggling and creating piles of clothes in every shop they visited, and Yeosang was nowhere to be found, but Wooyoung wasn't too worried about him. It was usual for Yeosang to leave them and go to the library by himself, because he was the only one who genuinely loved to read. Wooyoung had always been fine with it, since he was usually the one screaming and giggling with Yunho and Mingi, but today Jongho was with them, and Wooyoung couldn’t leave him alone.

Jongho was still a baby. And that would be rude.

As time passed and they started to talk more naturally, without Wooyoung shaking every time Jongho glanced at him, Wooyoung came to realize the younger’s personality was close to Yeosang’s.

Yeosang could be scary though. Jongho wasn't. Or only on the surface.

He was discreet, calm, and very fun to be with. Wooyoung stopped counting how many times he snorted because of Jongho's remarks about the shops, the items they could buy, the people, their friends... He was a funny guy, but more than anything, he was _cute_. 

Not the _pretty_ kind of cute. The _baby_ kind of cute.

Jongho was a baby.

Now that he wasn't scared of him anymore, Wooyoung wanted to pinch his cheeks and stuff them with sweets and candies.

Was he allowed to adopt someone from a year below him ? Was that a thing ? He hoped it was because now Wooyoung was in full protection mode. He would never let anyone touch his new baby.

Wooyoung let out a scream when Yeosang suddenly appeared beside him, three new books under his arm.

"What are they doing ?" he asked, nodding toward the rest of their friends as if Wooyoung didn't almost have a heart attack because of him.

Wooyoung put a hand on his chest to calm his beating heart and turned to look at their friends. 

Mingi started screaming and jumping like an excited child, which he was, holding a white costume Wooyoung couldn't see well, and almost pushing it in Yunho's face. The latter was just as hysterical, laughing like a mad scientist and waving what seemed to be a black headband above his head.

San was just standing there, his big smile illuminating his entire face as he waited for Yunho and Mingi to stop screaming.

What a sight.

Usually, Wooyoung would be the one screaming with them, but they had _banned_ him from joining.

_"You can't join us Woo,"_ Mingi had said when they entered their third shop. _"It's San's first Halloween party, and Yunho and I are professional Halloween costumes stylists. You're not."_

Yunho had nodded solemnly and San had snorted.

Then, they had left him there.

Well, they would regret treating him like that because Wooyoung put twice the effort to search for a nice costume and the one he found was _perfect_ . He was going to be _hot_ and _cool_ and _amazing_ and they would be jealous of him. Ha !

At some point, San disappeared into the fitting room, occasionally talking to Yunho and Mingi who were waiting right behind the curtain, giggling loudly and bouncing on their feet.

Wooyoung had started a simple conversation with Yeosang and Jongho, but he slowly became aware of how quiet the shop became.

No screams, no resounding laugh. It was awfully silent.

Until they heard a gasp that was obviously coming from Mingi, and a squeak from Yunho.

"I-I can't wear that..." Wooyoung heard San say, and he was so tempted to hide behind a pile of clothes to see what he was talking about, but he knew better than putting his nose in Yunho and Mingi's shenanigans.

Yunho's voice was way too loud to be shop-friendly when he answered. "That's the absolute best costume ever for you ! You can't _not_ wear that !"

"Wait wait, I totally agree but that's no good if he's uncomfortable," Mingi said.

By now, Wooyoung, Jongho and Yeosang were all listening to the conversation with interest. Yeosang had an eyebrow raised and Jongho was trying to hide his giggles. Wooyoung just wanted to know _what the fuck_ San was wearing for him to be possibly embarrassed about it.

"Oh, you're right." It was Yunho. "I'm sorry Sannie. Are you uncomfortable ? We can find something else, it's not a problem."

The silence that followed was palpable. Wooyoung was holding his breath, waiting for San's answer even if he had no idea what they were talking about.

It took him some time, but San eventually replied.

"I guess you're right. I can't think of anything better, you guys found the perfect costume. You're both amazing !"

Wooyoung could hear the smile in his voice and he almost slapped himself when he realised his own lips were curling up.

Damn, San's smile was contagious even when it wasn't visible.

Yunho and Mingi started screaming again, of joy Wooyoung supposed, and he stopped listening to turn his attention back to Yeosang and Jongho. The two of them seemed to have done the exact same and they all exchanged a weird look before bursting out laughing.

Well, at least Wooyoung wasn't the only nosy one, for once.

  
  
  


✰

  
  


After years of visiting the many villages surrounding their school, they knew where to go to choose their Halloween costumes. But it wasn't the only reason why they had decided to come here today.

In this village was Mingi's favorite coffee shop.

It was a small café located a bit further away from the other shops, with cute plants in pots on either side of the front door and a welcoming front window. The inside was just as cute, always bathed in a warm orange light and candles settled here and there, their scent blending perfectly with the smell of pumpkin soup and coffee in the air.

The owners were nice too, and everything felt comfortable and welcoming.

Wooyoung loved this place.

They sat at a wooden table by the window, and that was the moment Wooyoung noticed how their group of friends had grown over the past few weeks.

Two additional people weren't a lot, but it did change some things when they had been four for so long.

It had only been a week since Wooyoung found the courage to talk to Jongho, but the younger was already blending so well with them, easily snickering with Yeosang and being rude to his elders. Wooyoung would never dare to say it out loud, or at least not so soon, but he truly hoped Jongho would spend more time with them in the future. He enjoyed his company a lot.

And San's smile seemed brighter than ever now that Jongho was with them.

"Pumpkin soup for everyone !"

Mingi's voice snapped Wooyoung out of his thoughts. He hadn't even noticed the owner of the cafe coming to their table to take their order.

He didn’t have to say anything though, Mingi taking the lead and talking for them.

Wooyoung took this time to look around him, and he couldn't help but smile.

For years, Yunho had constantly talked about his brother and his childhood friends, how much he loved them and how much he wished one day would come when they would all be together to share a meal or get to know each other.

Well, it was happening now.

In front of Wooyoung sat San, an arm wrapped around Jongho's shoulders, the latter busy hitting Yunho's arm next to him.

Wooyoung didn't know why, but the sight of the three childhood friends sitting side by side warmed his heart. He supposed Yunho's many wishes had rubbed his own thoughts and became his too.

If Yunho was happy then so was Wooyoung.

And if San was smiling...

"Stop bullying me !" Yunho screamed and once again, Wooyoung's thoughts got cut short.

The owner came back with their soups and after a cacophony of thanks and cheerful exclamations, she left with a smile.

"We found the perfect costume for San, you guys aren't ready," Mingi said, half with them and half busy putting all of the spices settled on the table into his pumpkin soup.

Yunho nodded energetically. "It goes so well with his personality ! It's made for him."

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow. His personality ? What did they find that was so perfect for San ?

"I swear if it's a giant donut..." Jongho grumbled.

"Wh- How does a giant donut match my personality ?!" San yelled, offended, and Wooyoung snorted so suddenly he almost choked on his soup.

The action made them all laugh and they continued with another subject, something about Mingi and Jongho's music class.

It felt good to be there with them. No matter how shitty life could be sometimes, how much his father made his mood drop and turned his days grey, having his friends by his side always made things better. They were the reason why he could continue to look forward to the next days, and he hoped he would be able to cherish them and love them all his life.

He watched Mingi spit his pumpkin soup on Yeosang's face after a joke Jongho had said, Yunho's head dropping on the table as he laughed, making all of their still half full bowls spill some soup on the table, the owner sighing at the sight.

He caught San eyes, shining with a glint of amusement and something else Wooyoung couldn't read.

Wooyoung's heart felt warm.

He was happy.

He smiled softly at San, only to receive a grin just as soft in return.

Life wasn’t so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patronus : "The Patronus Charm was the most famous and one of the most powerful defensive charms known to wizardkind. It was an immensely complicated and extremely difficult spell, that evoked a partially-tangible positive energy force known as a Patronus or spirit guardian."
> 
> I have no idea if having a golden retriever as a patronus is even possible but ! Who cares, it's Yunho's, he deserves a golden retriever.


	10. October : Week 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2nd Anniversary to ATEEZ 🖤

**???**

_It hurt._

_He couldn’t open his eyes and couldn’t feel his body, but somehow, everything hurt._

_His lips parted and he tried to scream but no sound would come out._

_He felt tears rolling down his face. They were cold, freezing his cheeks._

_Somewhere, far away, there was a voice screaming._

_“You’re hurting him ! Stop ! Stop !”_

_The voice felt familiar._

_Why couldn’t he open his eyes ? What was hurting him ?_

_Couldn’t it stop ?_

_He wanted it to stop…_

_“Please ! I’m begging you !”_

_The voice cracked. The pain stopped._

_He fell on the cold ground._

_"San !"_

_He was cold… So cold..._

_“It’s okay Sannie, it’s done.”_

_The voice was closer now. Someone was taking him into their arms._

_“It’s okay,” the voice repeated, whispering against his face._

_A hand was slowly stroking his hair._

_He felt safe here. He felt warm._

_“You’re fine, Sannie. You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”_

_The hold tightened around him, making him smile._

_It felt like home._

  
  
  


**Tuesday 20, October**

Tuesday. The day Wooyoung was supposed to have his first Potions tutoring session with San.

Wooyoung had been waiting for this day to come, balancing between being excited to finally have some help and apprehending the moment San would see how much of a disaster Wooyoung was and eventually give up on him.

San had helped him once, back in September, but he had only seen Wooyoung struggling with _one_ paper. Not with Potions as a whole.

Their Potions class had passed slowly and true to himself, Wooyoung had been a walking disaster during the whole lesson.

Today though, he was a hopeful walking disaster.

Once the lesson ended, the classroom gradually cleared out and became quieter as their classmates left the room. Yunho and Yeosang waved them goodbye, both with bright smiles that helped Wooyoung ease his mind.

Then, he was left alone with San.

Wooyoung hadn’t felt this nervous being alone with him in a while. He wasn’t supposed to feel so uneasy around San but today, his palms were wet and he kept fidgeting on his chair as San was busy rummaging through the reserve.

The reserve was a small room in the back of the classroom, with walls hidden behind some bookshelves full of flasks and boxes full of herbs. It was usually locked but their professor gave San the green light to do as he pleased today.

Because he was San.

There was no other explanation.

Wooyoung was drying his palms on the pastel blue pants of his uniform when San came back, three flasks of some liquid Wooyoung couldn’t recognize secured in his arms.

"Woo, it's just me. Calm down," San said as he sat down next to him.

The sudden use of his nickname didn't help at all and Wooyoung felt his ears heating up. He tried to take San's advice though, knowing it wouldn't do him any good to be so stressed out.

San was right. It was just him. There was no need to be nervous.

"I'm not going to judge you,” San continued. “And I don't care what your level is. I'll help you until you catch an 'Outstanding Grade', and further if you still need me. So stop worrying about whatever you're stressed about and open your book page 25 already."

Oh.

Wooyoung flushed red, looking away.

San had seen right through him, and now Wooyoung was embarrassed. Just how much could San read on his face and his body language ? It hadn't been two months since they met each other yet San seemed to always know the right words to tell or the right thing to do to help Wooyoung, no matter the situation.

It was endearing. Reassuring.

But also extremely embarrassing right now.

He opened his book at a slow pace, still flushing, but at least he wasn't feeling so nervous anymore.

San stayed patient, setting the flasks on the white marble of their table and sliding some empty sheets in front of Wooyoung.

"I won't help you much today," he explained, gently pushing Wooyoung’s hand away to turn the pages of the book himself when he noticed Wooyoung was still struggling to function properly. He stopped page 25. "I need to understand how you do this and what's not working so I can help you better. You'll do the potion by yourself and write down everything you're not sure about in the process. Is that okay with you ?" 

No. It wasn't okay at all.

With his soft voice and careful tone, San was smoothly asking him to do an entire potion _by himself_. Wooyoung was absolutely not ready to work on a potion, even less alone, but he felt himself nodding anyway.

His body was a traitor. 

"Cool ! Let's work on this one, we saw it last year but it was a bit rushed. You should be fine."

He wouldn't be fine, but Wooyoung wasn't ready to open his mouth just yet. He nodded again and started reading the instructions San was pointing to.

In the end, he managed to calm down and focus on the potion.

He made a mess, there was some pink liquid _everywhere_ and the potion ended brown instead of the pretty blue he could still see in the picture of his book… But San was nodding appreciatively, and he had never sighed in exasperation, not even once.

It had helped a lot. It made Wooyoung believe there was still some hope.

Once things were done, San took the papers Wooyoung had scribbled on for the last two hours, sliding them into his bag.

“I’ll look at it later and we’ll see what we can work on next week,” he explained, smiling warmly.

Wooyoung’s heart wasn’t going to survive those smiles.

They started cleaning up, realizing quickly that the brown potion Wooyoung had made would be a pain in the ass to clean. Fortunately for them, San was here to save the day and used a cleaning charm Wooyoung had never heard of. It worked amazingly well.

They left the classroom once they were sure everything was clean and the leftover ingredients were back in the reserve.

“You did really well, Woo. You have a lot of potential, but I think it’s with the comprehension that things are more difficult,” San said once they started walking in the hallway.

Wooyoung had no idea how he was supposed to take San’s words.

Was it good ? Bad ?

How bad was it ?

San giggled at his face and patted his shoulder.

“It means you’re not dumb, Woo. School is just not teaching you the right way. It works for some, and doesn’t for others. With a little bit of help, you’ll be as good as anyone in our class.”

He raised his pinky up and shoved it into Wooyoung’s face, smiling brightly.

“I promise.”

At this point, Wooyoung didn’t know how he managed to keep walking as if his entire body wasn’t burning and his heart hadn’t skipped way too many beats to stay functional.

San was… _Shit_ , San was absolutely perfect.

With his heart racing in his chest, Wooyoung hastened to link his pinky with San’s before he could do something stupid, like hug him or _kiss him_ or…

He almost gasped at his own thought but was cut short when Seonghwa, of all people, rounded the corner and almost bumped into them. 

“I’m really sorry I- San ?!”

Seonghwa’s confused expression quickly disappeared behind a warm smile as he realized he had bumped into his own brother. He opened his arms wide and San, who had been just as startled, giggled loudly before he threw himself against his brother.

Wooyoung took a few steps backward.

The two brothers had been closer for the past few days, but it seemed like they couldn’t see each other that much. He didn’t want to disrupt one of their precious moments together.

Honestly, Seonghwa was basically invisible these days.

Wooyoung didn’t want to care, really, he would much prefer focusing on more interesting things, but the many conversations he had overheard were constantly lingering in his mind and he ended up being concerned for Seonghwa too.

He looked tired.

The bags under his eyes were definitely getting bigger, compared to last week. 

“You should go to sleep early today Hwa,” San murmured, keeping his arms around his brother but slightly pulling back to look at him. “You look tired.”

Seonghwa offered him a soft smile. He brought a gentle hand to San’s face and pushed some hair away from his forehead.

"Don't worry, I'm fine.”

“You sure ? I could grab you something to eat at dinner and bring it to you later and-”

“Sannie,” Seonghwa interrupted, cupping San’s face to meet his eyes. “I’m fine, it’s okay.”

An uneasy silence settled in the hallway as the two brothers stared at each other.

Wooyoung could see the way San’s hands clenched and unclenched around the fabric of Seonghwa’s uniform, his eyes full of concern.

He eventually gave up, looking away with a sigh.

"If you say so…" he murmured, detaching himself from Seonghwa.

He didn’t look convinced at all, but how could he ?

Seonghwa looked like he needed three days of sleep, and a copious meal.

Even Wooyoung wanted to jump in the conversation and force him to sleep, _now_.

He kept his mouth shut though, and stayed away from the brothers, patiently waiting for them to finish their conversation. San put a kiss on Seonghwa’s cheek and Wooyoung’s ears did _not_ start heating up as he tried to imagine the feeling of San’s lips on his own cheek.

The brothers went on with a simple conversation, hugging each other again and overall being cute as fuck. San’s smile was back on his face and somehow, Wooyoung decided it was the only thing that mattered.

If San was smiling, then everything was fine.

Hey, that could become his new life motto.

Their conversation eventually came to an end and they said their goodbyes to each other, Seonghwa promising to eat a lot tonight. He waved at San with a warm smile and was about to leave when his eyes caught Wooyoung’s.

Oh.

Okay, _act natural_.

Wooyoung gulped, still not used to Seonghwa’s piercing eyes on him, but San’s presence was helping him to stay relaxed.

Or as relaxed as he could be with Seonghwa staring at him.

Wooyoung was about to say something stupid out of stress when the last thing he could have ever expected happened.

Seonghwa smiled.

It was probably the faintest smile Wooyoung had ever seen on someone, but it was a smile nonetheless.

He nodded politely toward Wooyoung and even waved awkwardly, before he took his leave, the sound of his expensive shoes resonating in the hallway until it slowly disappeared.

Wooyoung couldn’t move.

What just happened ?

Did Seonghwa just… Smile ? At him ? Wooyoung ? Seonghwa ? Huh ?

He heard San’s giggles right next to him and turned to him with wide eyes.

“What was that ?!” Wooyoung shouted. 

San’s giggles went on as he started walking again, waving at Wooyoung to follow.

“I might have talked about you. He’s still a bit awkward, but he’ll get there,” he explained, a cheerful smile on his lips.

He talked to _Seonghwa_ about him ? Shit.

“What did you say ?”

San turned to look at him and wiggled his eyebrows, making Wooyoung groan in frustration.

“I hate you,” he mumbled, but he knew the smile splattered on his face would betray him.

“You don’t, you love me. As you should.”

San kept wiggling his eyebrows and this was getting frustrating but Wooyoung’s heart was doing funny things inside him and he couldn’t help but laugh. They bickered for a while, both smiling like idiots, enjoying the teases and the stupid banter.

They were about to go down the stairs when San violently flinched, immediately putting a hand on Wooyoung’s arm to keep himself steady.

“San ?"

Frowning, Wooyoung turned to look at San, only to see him clenching his jaw and closing his eyes as if he was in pain. The grip on his arm tightened.

“San ? Hey, what’s wrong ?”

His heart started to speed up at San’s lack of answer. He fully turned around to search for any kind of injury he hadn’t seen on his friend sooner, or for something that could be hurting him at the moment.

There was nothing visible though.

San slowly let go of his arm.

“I'm… Okay…” he murmured, keeping a hand on his head.

No. He wasn’t.

“San…"

Wooyoung had to take a step back, startled.

"You're bleeding," he breathed out.

Blood was running from San's nose, flowing on his lips and dropping on his uniform.

San slowly brought a hand to his nose, blood smearing _everywhere_ on his skin. Eyes wide and unfocused, he turned his palm up and looked at his hand.

He stopped moving.

“San ?”

But San was stuck, staring at the blood staining his fingers, unaware of the red liquid now dropping on the floor.

Wooyoung hastened to take out his wand.

“Don’t move, okay ?” he whispered, not wanting to scare San away.

His friend gave him a faint nod, and Wooyoung whispered a few words, focusing on his wand. The cleaning charm he was using wasn't difficult, but Wooyoung had always been scared to use any magic near people's faces. Hurting San was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

He took it upon himself to do it though, and casted the spell.

The blood stains slowly disappeared from San's uniform, then his hands, until his face was cleaned too.

"Is it still running ?" he asked carefully, putting his wand back in his uniform.

San slowly brought a hand back to his nose, still pretty out of it. He shook his head after a few seconds, a smile trying but failing to form properly on his lips. 

"I don't think so. Thank you," he said, a slight tremor in his voice. 

"San, are you sure you're okay ?"

Wooyoung took a step forward, concerned. Whatever he was going to do next was stopped when San seemed to finally wake up, a bright smile suddenly illuminating his face. 

"Yeah, don't worry !" He took Wooyoung's hand and started going down the stairs. Way too fast. "I'm starving, let's join the others !"

Wooyoung frowned. He wasn't buying it, this sudden mood change. San was trying to convince him he was fine, when he clearly wasn't. He tugged on Wooyoung's hand to make him walk faster, his smile wavering.

Woooyung followed but his mind didn’t. It was still stuck at the top of the stairs.

They were about to enter the dining room when San stopped him.

"Don't… Don't tell Yunho, please," he said, his voice lowering on the last few words.

An uncomfortable feeling settled in Wooyoung’s stomach, and his throat tightened.

After all of this, San wanted him to stay silent ? Wooyoung had always been the worst of their group of friends to keep secrets and he truly wanted to be better, but _this_ ?

He couldn't _not_ tell anyone. Something wasn’t right, Wooyoung had no idea what, but he had a bad feeling about this entire situation. They needed to talk about it to the others.

Hiding something from Yunho, of all people… Wooyoung couldn't do that.

And San must have seen it on his face.

He took both of Wooyoung's hands between his, cradling them against his chest. 

" _Please_ ," he pleaded, voice cracking.

Fuck. Wooyoung couldn't deal with this situation.

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and lowered his head, looking at his feet. 

Fuck.

_Fuck_.

Was it a good idea ? Was he being overly protective, or was he right to be so concerned ?

He sighed, squeezing San's hands in his.

"Okay… But you have to tell him at some point. Promise me."

He slid a hand away from San's and raised his pinky up, just as his friend did a few minutes ago.

It made San smile, and he nodded, linking his own pinky with Wooyoung's. 

"I promise."

They stared at each other for a bit, San's intense eyes lingering into his.

"Okay," Wooyoung eventually breathed out, letting go of San's hands. 

They both smiled, before entering the dining room to join their friends.

  
  
  
  


Later at dinner, Wooyoung couldn’t help but look at San.

His friend spaced out at some point, his eyes stuck on the table as he brought a hand to his face and touched his nose.

He seemed completely lost.

It was already the second nosebleed in the span of a month and if Wooyoung remembered correctly, Yunho had said San hadn’t had any before.

Wooyoung was not a doctor, but he was pretty certain something wasn’t right.

If San wanted to convince himself that he was okay, then _fine_ , he could stay stubborn.

Wooyoung would keep an eye on him on his behalf.

  
  


**Wednesday 21, October**

San seemed fine during breakfast.

He had gone to sleep early the night before, agreeing with Wooyoung that he did need some rest, and came back looking as fresh as a daisy this morning. He was talking and laughing with Jongho, Yunho and Mingi, his usual self almost making Wooyoung forget about the previous night’s events.

Almost.

Wooyoung had had a hard time falling asleep, the image of San staring at his bloody hand weighing on his mind. He had snuggled closer to Yeosang and eventually managed to take some rest, but the night had been short. He was worried. He would never break his promise, but he couldn’t help but feel like keeping it to himself had been the wrong choice.

What if it was serious ? What if San needed help, _medical_ help ? What if Yunho had been genuinely scared for his well-being the past few weeks ? What if he knew something they didn’t and San’s life was in actual danger ? What if San couldn’t-

“Woo.”

A delicate hand settled on Wooyoung’s.

He knew that as soon as he would look up, his worries would fly out of the windows. He didn’t want to be so careless, so easy to convince, but he raised his head anyway.

His eyes met San’s, his heart missed a beat.

But he felt calm. Comforted.

“I’m fine,” San murmured.

It sounded convincing, and Wooyoung wanted to believe him.

Maybe he could. For the time being at least, for a little while. He wanted to trust San, and who knew him better than San himself ?

Wooyoung bit his lip, searching for something in San’s eyes, that would prove he was lying, that he wasn’t believing his own words. But all he saw was an honest fondness that forced Wooyoung to look away.

He would continue to keep an eye on San. He knew he could trust his instinct, and something was telling him he shouldn’t let his guard down.

But he could also let go of his worries for the time being, before they would start to eat him bit by bit.

He smiled softly, nodding.

A bright smile illuminated San’s face, and it felt like the entire room was filled with colors again. San interlaced their fingers together and hid their linked hands under the table, settling them on his tight. Everything felt warm.

Wooyoung would probably never be entirely convinced, but right this moment, San was fine.

He was smiling, laughing. Squeezing his hand a few times.

He was okay.

And it was all that mattered.

✰

Honestly, Wooyoung was glad San had thrown some of his concerning thoughts aside this morning.

He had _lots_ of worries today.

His concern for San had helped him forget he was supposed to teach his first patronus lesson this afternoon, but now the thought was back and he didn’t know if he was excited or nervous.

Probably both.

He knew he had been the one who offered San his help, but he still didn't have any idea how to do that. Not even where to begin.

In the end, he decided he would let things go naturally, close his eyes and hope for the best. It was usually a terrible plan but it would have to do because Wooyoung didn't have any other option.

His ballet class passed without any incident, helping him clear his mind for a little while. He really wished he could dance a bit longer, but his stomach wasn't having it. The sound it made when Wooyoung was taking off his dirty shirt almost made him jump.

Today again, Wooyoung ended up alone with Seonghwa and Hongjoong in the changing room.

He came to understand this situation wasn’t entirely his fault : Seonghwa and Wooyoung were the only two stubborn students who kept working for a bit longer after class ended, to perfect their moves in front of the mirror and grab on the tiniest second of work they could use. They never talked to each other and stayed on their side of the room, working on their own.

Hongjoong was usually the one to pull them back to reality.

He would come into the room and sigh, and Seonghwa would smile sheepishly before disappearing into the changing room with his boyfriend. Wooyoung would follow a few minutes later, remembering his body needed to rest at some point.

The only difference today was that both Seonghwa and Hongjoong had smiled at him when he came back from his shower, the latter also greeting him out loud. They exchanged a few words, asking each other how was their day as Seonghwa busied himself with his ballet slippers. 

Wooyoung had never been really keen on small talk, but he was more than happy to do so with Hongjoong. If it meant they could become friends in a near future, then he would gladly continue.

And about Seonghwa...

Being on the receiving end of his kind smile was weird, but not unpleasant. They didn’t exchange any words, and Wooyoung was fine with that.

Seonghwa was San’s brother and Wooyoung was a bit concerned for his well-being these days, but he had to remind himself this guy was still the prick who had made Yunho’s - and Jongho’s - life miserable two years ago. He would accept some polite, respectful exchanges, but not more. Not as long as he didn’t explain himself about his silence with Yunho and Jongho.

The two Eight Years left the room first, because Wooyoung was slower than the snails Yeosang liked to hide in Wooyoung’s washcloths, but they stopped right in front of the double door. It seemed like someone had been entering at the same time. Hongjoong made a startled sound and a second later, he was starting a conversation.

Wooyoung stretched his neck to peek at who this person could be, only to retract and fix the dirty shirt in his hand as soon as he saw the newcomer, heart racing.

San.

It was San.

San was there, by the door, talking to Hongjoong and Seonghwa.

What was San doing here, by the door, talking to Hongjoong and Seonghwa ?

“Woo !”

He looked up at the use of his nickname.

San passed by Hongjoong and Seonghwa to enter the room, simply waving at them behind his shoulder. Hongjoong snorted and shook his head, before Seonghwa linked their hands together. They both disappeared behind the double doors.

“Hey,” San greeted, stopping in front of Wooyoung.

“Hey,” Wooyoung smiled. “What are you doing here ?”

San’s smile grew bigger and he almost shoved the jute bag he was holding in Wooyoung’s face.

“I brought you something ! I’m pretty sure you were about to skip lunch but,” he clicked his tongue and frowned, “not on my watch.”

Wooyoung snorted at the expression Yunho and Mingi had started using a few years ago, putting his dirty shirt in his bag.

He would never dare to say it out loud, but San’s gesture made something flip and wiggle weirdly inside him. He tried to control his blushing ears.

He was indeed planning on going straight to the lake to help San with his patronus. He had worked for too long and lunch had no doubt started a while ago, which happened more often than not. Wooyoung had asked for a cereal bar and an apple to the maid-fairies after breakfast as he was used to settling for this kind of snack and eating for two at dinner.

He, of all people, knew he should be taking better care of his body, but even if things were better than they had been a few years ago, he still had a hard time stopping himself from overworking. Yeosang was usually here to save his ass though, grabbing some bread during lunch, along with lots of fruits Wooyoung was always eager to devour.

Come to think of it, Yeosang had probably been the one giving San the idea.

Wooyoung couldn’t hide his smile. Yeosang and San truly were a gift life gave him for no reason.

Once Wooyoung was ready to go and San giggled at his red ears - he said it was _cute_ , which only made things worse - they left the changing room and made their way out of the castle.

As soon as he put one foot outside, Wooyoung was slapped in the face by the cold air.

Summer had definitely ended. Fall was slowly making its way in the weather and the scenery, making people shiver and trees cover themselves with brown and orange tones.

Wooyoung loved fall.

He loved all seasons but fall was special.

It meant falling leaves, hot chocolate, oversized hoodies and pumpkin soup.

He smiled to himself, not caring about the cold wind messing with his hair, and they started making their way to the lake, or _‘Le lac clair_ ’, to call it by its name.

Well, it wasn’t that much of a lake and more of a pond. Or was it really a pond ? It seemed too big to be a pond but too small to be a lake. What was the difference between a lake and a pond anyway ? Whatever, Wooyoung would continue to call it a lake.

The lake was situated somewhere behind the castle, further away from the gardens and beyond the flower fields. People rarely came here and Wooyoung himself couldn’t remember the last time he hung out there with his friends. It was a great place for a walk, but there were plenty of places to walk closer to school, and what was the point of walking when you could lay on a sofa for hours ?

They also had no idea what kind of creatures were living in this lake, resulting in people creating some weird rumours about the woods surrounding it and in the end, it became some kind of mysterious secret place.

It was the perfect spot for a private patronus lesson.

It took them a few minutes of walking, but they eventually arrived by the lake, at the exact place Wooyoung wanted them to stay.

Now that he was back, Wooyoung could actually remember laying there with Yeosang sometime during their second or third year, and he was glad things hadn’t changed much since then.

It was a small clearing in the middle of the woods, with an opening leading to the lake. The grass was greener here than anywhere else around the castle, and the clicking sound of water on the ground was soothing. It wasn’t a vast place, but it wasn’t small either. Just enough for what they had planned.

And nobody was there to disturb them.

They sat directly on the slightly wet grass, San staying unbothered despite the white pants he was wearing along with his white sweater. Wooyoung didn’t care either, his black pants had seen worse.

San had wrapped some leftovers from lunch in pastel blue boxes, and the only word Wooyoung could hear resonating in his mind was _cute cute cute cute_.

Apparently, San had waited for him and hadn’t eaten either, and Wooyoung didn’t know what to do with this information, so he didn’t do anything.

They ate, talking about school - not grades - about their friends, mocking Mingi and Yunho because they could and they were both enjoying this hobby. They continued their conversations even as they were done eating, but neither of them seemed to care.

Talking with San was easy. Wooyoung could spend his entire day with him, chattering about whatever came to his mind and he was sure he wouldn't get bored.

Hours passed before Wooyoung finally noticed how much time they had spent doing nothing but lie on the ground.

He quickly stood up, startling San who had started to doze off against his shoulder.

“Hey sleepy head, we're not here to nap, we have a patronus to summon, remember ?”

Wooyoung received a whine in response and he scoffed at San’s pouty face as he helped him stand up.

Now what ? How was he supposed to start ?

“What even is your patronus ?” San asked, and Wooyoung really wanted to hug him here and there because _bless him_ , that was exactly how he could start.

“See for yourself,” he smirked as he took out his wand.

Now, he needed to concentrate.

He closed his eyes and tried to focus.

During their patronus class, their professor had told them to focus on a memory, to keep thinking about it and nothing else.

But Wooyoung had plenty of memories. Amazing ones even.

He hadn’t wanted to choose one, so he didn’t.

And now, just like it had happened when he summoned his patronus for the first time, a succession of memories invaded his mind, making his lips curl in a smile and warming up his heart.

The soft voice of his mom singing a lullaby, the sight of a cheerful Yeosang touching a woodlouse for the first time, the scent of orange blossom water… His first time riding a broom and flying above Yeosang’s mansion. His first ballet lesson at Beauxbatons…

Slowly, he felt the energy emerging from him and traveling to his wand.

“ _Expecto patronum_.”

He opened his eyes in an instant.

A few meters away from them appeared a white light, quickly moving around and leaving a tray of sparkles behind.

“A hare ?” San asked softly, coming to stand closer.

His eyes seemed stuck to the magical animal, following his race between the trees.

“You like it ?” Wooyoung turned to look at San.

And for a moment, he forgot about his patronus.

San’s lips were slightly parted, his eyes shining, fixing Wooyoung’s patronus. The look of innocence and pure admiration made something flip inside him, a comfortable feeling of warmth spreading in his chest.

His heart was beating _so fast_.

And Wooyoung knew. He knew what this meant.

“It suits you,” San smiled softly.

Wooyoung looked away.

Now wasn’t the time to think about feelings.

He focused back on his patronus and on what San had just said. He wasn't sure himself why his patronus was a hare, so San’s comment made him particularly curious.

“It does ? Why ?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Because it's tiny.”

San flew out of Wooyoung's reach at the speed of light, laughing loudly at his scandalized face.

Okay, he hadn’t been expecting that. This boy really was a pain in the ass, but at least he was enjoying himself. Wooyoung couldn't even pretend to be mad, the corner of his lips turning upward on their own.

It took him some time, but San finally calmed down and came back to Wooyoung’s side. Wooyoung let his patronus go, his hare of light dissipating in the air.

Now was San’s turn to shine.

“I'm sure yours is cute,” Wooyoung said when he noticed how San had started to bite his lower lip.

“Why ? Do you think I'm cute ?” San asked back and Wooyoung regretted opening his mouth.

“I- You… It’s not- Well-”

His entire face flushed red. Has it always been this hard to form a sentence ?

San, being the demon he clearly was, laughed at his face as he put his wand out of his pocket.

So much for helping him relax.

“I just want to see it, I don't care whether it's cute or ugly,” San said in the end.

“Patronuses can't be ugly.”

“You never know ! I'll love mine anyway.”

San stretched his neck and shoulders, something popping loudly in his back and making both of them grimace. They shared a look and giggled, and a few seconds later, San was ready to start.

His gaze changed, soft eyes giving place to an intense, focused glare.

“Okay. You know the spell, right ?” Wooyoung asked, taking a few steps back to give San some space.

San nodded, his fist clenching around his wand.

He was ready.

“Close your eyes,” Wooyoung started, voice low to help San stay concentrated. “Focus on a memory. Something happy, meaningful. Gather your thoughts to concentrate on that memory, and that memory only.”

San obeyed, closing his eyes. He took a deep breath and put his wand up in front of him.

He stayed silent for long seconds, and Wooyoung could tell he was trying to calm himself first. His shoulders relaxed, he stopped frowning.

Wooyoung saw the exact moment San started focusing on his memory.

But nothing happened.

His posture was good, he looked concentrated enough, his wand was ready. But it stayed lifeless, nothing coming out of its end.

“I-It's not working...” San murmured.

His voice was slightly shaking and despite his closed eyes, Wooyoung could read the despair on his features. He looked genuinely affected by the situation.

“It's okay, don't give up yet,” Wooyoung reassured. “Search for another memory, a stronger one. Search deeper. Focus.”

San didn’t look convinced, but he nodded anyway. He frowned, focusing again.

Wooyoung could see San was giving his all to succeed. Brows furrowed, grip strong around his wand, he was putting all of his efforts into the task.

But that was exactly the problem.

Sure, summoning a patronus was difficult and needed a lot of concentration, but it wasn't supposed to take so much physical strength. These memories San needed to focus on were supposed to be peaceful, happy. Pleasant. Yet they seemed... Painful.

That was the feeling Wooyoung could see on San's face at the moment.

Pain.

“I-I can't do it…” San murmured.

He lowered his wand, sighing, and opened his eyes.

If San looked pained before, it was even worse now that Wooyoung could clearly see the look of despair in his eyes. In just a few seconds, he seemed to have lost any kind of hope, all of his determination leaving as soon as he failed.

But it wasn’t just that. Wooyoung could see it.

The battle wasn’t at the end of San’s wand. It was in his thoughts.

With how much love San had for his brother, Jongho and Yunho, Wooyoung was sure he did have good memories, pleasant thoughts to focus on. And with San’s amazing skills in magic, he should have been able to summon at least a tiny beam of light. The fact that nothing had come out of his wand at all was weird.

But Wooyoung saw beyond that.

“You're thinking about something else.”

San suddenly avoided his eyes, confirming Wooyoung’s suspicions.

“No, I'm n-”

“You are, San,” Wooyoung cut him when he noticed the way San’s hands curled into fists on his sides. 

He had to stop him before San started being on the defensive. After the weeks they had spent together as friends, Wooyoung knew how stubborn San could be. He wouldn’t let it pass, not now, not when it mattered.

“Something has been on your mind and it’s preventing you from focusing on something else.” 

San lowered his head. He didn’t say anything back, but his silence was enough of an answer.

Wooyoung took it as a clue to continue.

He took a few steps forwards, coming closer. Slowly, not wanting to scare him away, Wooyoung brushed his fingers against San’s hand. San was gripping his wand with so much strength his knuckles were turning white, and Wooyoung couldn’t let him continue.

When he didn’t get any reaction from San, he took the wand away. He replaced it with his own hand, his fingers interlacing with San’s.

“You don't need to tell me what it is about, San,” Wooyoung murmured. “You're the only one who can fight these thoughts.”

Wooyoung heard a sniffle and slowly, San raised his head.

Something broke in Wooyoung’s heart.

It wasn’t the fact San was on the verge of crying, or the way his hand gripped Wooyoung’s with so much force he almost gasped.

It was his eyes.

His wide eyes, full of tears, staring right back at Wooyoung’s.

Desperation.

The smile San gave him was sad, forced. “I can't win against my thoughts.”

Wooyoung couldn’t take it anymore. He let go of San’s hand, slid the wand in the pocket of his hoodie and brought San in his arms.

The startling sound San let out would have been cute in any other circumstance, but right now, Wooyoung’s heart was hurting him and he couldn’t think straight. He gently placed San’s head on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his slim waist.

San didn’t complain, he didn’t even move. He let himself be held, his body limp in Wooyoung’s arms.

“Of course you can,” Wooyoung whispered.

He slid his fingers in San’s hair, lightly stroking his blonde strands. It was soft.

_So soft._

Wooyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He hoped his next words would come true.

“And you will, San.”

  
  
  


**Thursday 22, October**

_Le Cri de la Gargouille_ , the daily newspaper of the Wizarding World from France, had arrived. When Yeosang and Wooyoung entered the dining room for breakfast a bit later than usual, everyone was fixed on their papers, talking loudly with wide eyes and concerned faces.

The sight was unusual. Beauxbatons students didn't care that much about news, focusing on their own lives and problems most of the time.

It meant something worth their time and attention had been written in the newspaper today.

Yunho was reading an article out loud when Wooyoung sat at their table, Yeosang settling down next to him.

Wooyoung caught San’s eyes and they smiled at each other, the latter waving briefly.

"Why is everyone so worked up about it today ?” Yeosang asked, nodding toward the newspaper.

Being the dramatical boy he had always been, Yunho wiggled his eyebrows as he turned the journal in Wooyoung and Yeosang’s direction, sliding it on the table. 

He pointed at the headlines :

'Inferi Attack in Auvergne'

Wooyoung frowned at the title. He had no idea what that meant.

“What even is an Inferi ?” Yeosang mumbled, mostly to himself.

If Yeosang didn’t know, then none of them would. The only person capable of giving them some answers was San, but he was now busy cackling loudly with Jongho. 

Wooyoung couldn’t help but smile at the sound of San's high-pitched laugh.

“No idea !” Yunho said, taking back the newspaper and putting it aside. “But a Pureblood family was attacked. It happened on Tuesday.”

“Creepy,” Wooyoung mumbled. 

Mingi nodded vividly next to Yunho.

“They completely disappeared ! There is no trace of them anywhere, no witness, _nothing_.” He bit his lips, throwing a nervous glance at the journal.

Mingi had never been the bravest of their group. Big creatures and dark villains, he could manage. Creepy stories nobody could explain properly ? Not that much.

“It happens. I’m sure aurors are on the case, they’ll find them in no time,” Yeosang reassured them, probably having thought about Mingi’s well-being too.

Their friend didn’t look convinced but Yunho stuffed a massive piece of bread in his mouth, and he dropped the subject.

"Hongjoong's birthday is coming up," Jongho informed them when he was done giggling with San.

Wooyoung figured the statement was more directed at Mingi and San than the rest of them, so he turned his attention to the piece of bread Yeosang had slid on his plate.

Should he go for the raspberry jam today ? Or butter ? Maybe both ? Both sounded great.

He busied himself with his slice of bread, letting the others talk by themselves.

"Wait what, already ?!" Mingi interjected, eyes wide.

"Yeah, as crazy as it sounds it's the same date every year," Jongho answered.

Wooyoung couldn't control the high-pitched laugh he let out, receiving a glare from Mingi that only made things worse. He ended up choking on his slice of bread and that helped him calm down pretty fast.

"We can do a joint gift if you want, write him a song or something," Jongho continued, completely unphased by Mingi's death glares and Wooyoung almost dying in front of him. 

"So you don't have anything prepared either," Yeosang remarked, and this time Jongho was the one sending death glares.

"He's not supposed to know that. He was supposed to say 'oh, what an amazing idea Jongho, my life saver, let's do that !' and everyone would be happy. Why did you have to ruin everything ?"

Yeosang shrugged. "It's my greatest quality." 

He winked and Jongho rolled his eyes.

In the end, Mingi didn't call Jongho his life saver but he did accept the offer. They started planning their song and Wooyoung was out of the conversation in three seconds.

"Can I join the project ? I kind of want to sing with Jongie again." 

Wooyoung was back in the conversation in one second.

Did he hear it well ?

San could _sing_ ?

Now, what was Wooyoung supposed to do with this information ?

He absentmindedly munched on his piece of bread. He wanted to listen to the rest of their conversation but his brain wasn't functioning properly anymore, stuck on this new discovery. San and Mingi's laughs were resonating somewhere in the background.

"Hey," Yunho lightly pushed Wooyoung's arm, trying to get his attention. "How was your Potions tutoring with San ?”

Wooyoung swallowed his piece of bread, trying to come back to reality.

"It went well. San is really patient with me so that's cool."

San was also really pretty and his voice was doing weird things to Wooyoung’s heart, but he wasn’t going to say that to Yunho.

“I’m glad you found San,” his friend said with a warm smile.

Wooyoung glanced in San’s direction, watching him laughing happily with Jongho and Mingi. His dimples were popping out cutely on his pink cheeks, and there were some crumbs stuck on the corner of his lips. His hand suddenly hit the table and his spoon flew, jam splattering everywhere on its way.

Wooyoung snorted.

San was a mess. But he was an adorable mess.

Wooyoung knew the smile on his face was too big when he turned back to Yunho.

“Yeah, I’m glad too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I have corona haha (i'm actually MAD because I've been extremely careful outside and at work, only to catch it inside my own house 🤡)
> 
> Anyway ! I really wanted to catch up and post on Mondays again, but maybe I'll have to slow things down until I get better. I reaaally want to post the Halloween chapter for Halloween though ;_; I'll see what I can do.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you're still enjoying it !  
> Take care of yourself 🖤


	11. October : Week 5, Part. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ! I cut this week in two so we can have an entire chapter for Halloween ^^
> 
> Enjoy 🖤

**Monday 26, October**

It hadn’t been a bad day.

Wooyoung had always been great in Charms and he enjoyed Herbology a lot more now that they had a new professor. He hadn’t pissed off any of his classmates, barely thought about his father and they had broccolis for lunch. The rest of the day had been uneventful.

Wooyoung mentally patted his own head for how well he did today.

He pushed the double doors of his dorm and kept it open for Yeosang, before they both decided to settle in the common room. They had finished their last class of the day a bit sooner than usual, leaving them free to choose any seat they wanted as the room was still barely occupied.

A few First Years were talking discreetly around a table and two Eighth Years were playing cards in a corner.

It was calm.

Wooyoung sat on the largest sofa of the room, the one with pastel blue patterns and golden arms. Yeosang settled down next to him, not waiting a second to cuddle against his side.

“It’s only Monday. I’m already tired of this week,” he complained as he let his bag fall on the blue carpet, right next to the shoes Wooyoung had abandoned here as soon as he climbed on the sofa.

“It wasn’t so bad. We have History of Magic tomorrow.”

Yeosang groaned and put his head in his hands, his golden curls falling on his forehead. Wooyoung laughed at his pitiful state, even if his own words made him want to put his head into a wall. He hated History of Magic, but at least he could share this pain with someone.

Slowly, their common room started to fill up with more students, most of them directly taking the stairs.

Wooyoung put his feet on the armchair in front of him, receiving some dirty glares from a few students searching for a place to sit, but he chose to ignore it. Yeosang mirrored his gesture and extended his legs on the sofa until his white shoes reached the golden arm. He failed though, because his legs were too short, and Wooyoung snorted loudly. He was about to tease him a bit further when Yunho and Mingi entered the dorm.

“Longest day of my life ! I deserve to sleep for an entire month !” Yunho complained, falling on Yeosang’s legs and receiving some colorful insults in return.

The two of them bickered until they came to an arrangement, Yeosang bringing his knees up to his chest, snuggling to Wooyoung’s side as Yunho settled against the sofa’s arm.

Mingi had taken a seat on the chair Wooyoung had kept for him, looking just as exhausted. Wooyoung’s feet were now comfortably lying on Mingi’s lap and his friend frowned at them, but Wooyoung was delighted.

He gave Mingi his sweetest smile.

“Your feet stink,” Mingi said, poking at Wooyoung’s black sock.

He received a foot in the face in response.

“Where are San and Jongho ?” Yeosang asked, eyeing the double doors.

“They stayed in the gardens. They’ll join us for dinner,” Yunho answered as he took off his shoes to put his feet on the sofa.

Wooyoung wondered what could be worse in the eyes of the other Beauxbatons students. Yunho and Wooyoung in socks or Yeosang putting his polished shoes directly on the sofa ?

From the looks he was receiving, he guessed the socks were worse. Wooyoung had to restrain himself from giving in and putting his shoes back. He was tired of letting other people dictate the way he wanted to live his life.

He slid his arms around Yeosang and brought him close, trying to push his thoughts aside.

“People are still talking about this attack,” Yunho continued.

Mingi immediately groaned. “Nooo ! Please, stop talking about that !”

“What ? The inferi one ?” Yeosang frowned.

“Yeah. I kept hearing people talking in the hallways. I think it became a hot topic.”

“I still don’t know what an inferi is,” Wooyoung remarked, ignoring Mingi’s whines.

He could have searched for it in the library this weekend but honestly, he hadn’t given a fuck about this attack at the moment.

If an event was worth the time of Beauxbatons’ students, they usually talked about it for a day, and then it was forgotten. Knowing the topic had lingered during the weekend and continued to spread in conversations was… Unexpected. It piqued Wooyoung’s interest.

“Dead people,” Yeosang answered with a shrug. As if it was the most normal thing to say. “Inferi is the plural of Inferius. An inferius is a dead body reanimated by a dark magic spell. Some weird shit about necromancy, creepy dark art... It follows the orders of whoever casted the spell.”

Mingi whined, closing his eyes, and for once Wooyoung didn’t feel like teasing him.

Was Yeosang serious ? He looked serious. Wooyoung wasn’t expecting such a creepy explanation. Honestly, Mingi had all the rights to want to avoid the subject. No wonder people still talked about it, if it was linked to dark magic...

“That’s… Not reassuring,” Wooyoung stated, a sudden wave of cold running through his body. He shivered and Yeosang nuzzled closer by instinct.

“That’s so cool though ! Nothing ever happens here, we hadn’t had any interesting news for years in this newspaper.”

Yunho was right. It was by far the most exciting news they had read in _Le Cri de la Gargouille_ since their First Year, but Wooyoung wouldn’t call it ‘cool’. Far from it even.

He did like spooky and risky things, but this ? Dark magic wasn’t a subject Wooyoung wanted to jump into. These news weren’t reassuring at all.

“Let’s change the subject, Mingi is about to cry,” Yeosang said, a smirk ghosting on his lips.

“I’m not crying !” 

“ _About to_ cry. Totally different.”

Mingi stood up fast, knocking Wooyoung’s feet over the chair without an ounce of care. He straddled Yeosang’s body and started to attack him with tickles, pushing Yunho on the floor in the process.

As usual when someone dared to tickle Yeosang, he let go of his calm facade to laugh fully, his giggles loud and free. Wooyoung knew he should stop them or shush Yeosang, but seeing his best friend laughing that way always made him smile.

To hell Beauxbatons students, with their judging eyes and annoyed faces. Yeosang was having fun, and Wooyoung would never let them stop him from laughing so brightly.

Once the fight came to an end, Mingi took Yunho’s previous seat on the sofa. Yunho seemed satisfied staying on the carpet.

“We have some time to kill before dinner,” he mumbled, closing his eyes as his head rested on the sofa behind him.

“Let’s play UNO !”

Mingi was back on his feet in a second. His eyes were shining and he had this face again, the one that made him look younger and too adorable to say no to anything he could ever ask.

It wasn’t as effective as Yunho’s puppy eyes though, and Wooyoung had something else in mind.

“I wanted to cuddle…” he pouted, using his cutest voice. It had never worked on Yeosang but Wooyoung knew how to use it well with Mingi and Yunho.

They weren’t the only ones with secret weapons.

“We… Huh.” Mingi frowned at Wooyoung, knowing damn well what he was trying to do. 

Wooyoung smiled innocently and when Mingi sighed, he knew he had won.

“Fine, I’ll cuddle your whiny ass.”

Wooyoung yelled in victory and pushed Yeosang away, patting the sofa next to him.

“I’ve been cuddling you all this time but well,” Yeosang grumbled as he stood up to sit on Yunho’s lap instead. Yunho looked more than happy to welcome Yeosang in his arms, engulfing him into a bone-crushing hug.

“But are _you_ a giant baby ?” Wooyoung asked with a raised eyebrow, opening his arms wide for Mingi.

Yeosang tsked and turned his back to Mingi and Wooyoung, starting a conversation with Yunho instead and making Wooyoung scoff at his best friend’s childish reaction.

He started his own conversation with Mingi, or rather Mingi started talking and Wooyoung listened.

Mingi was always so eager to talk about his music classes. Wooyoung couldn't understand half of what he was saying, but if that meant he got to see the stars in his friend’s eyes, he didn’t mind at all.

But as Mingi went on about major and minor in the composition he was working on with Jongho, Wooyoung couldn't help but let his mind wander. Each of his thoughts came back to the same subject.

The Inferi attack.

Something wasn't right. An entire weekend had passed, and they hadn’t receive any recent news. It had been a headline title, on the very first page ! It was meant to be talked about, so people could praise whoever saved the victims or arrested the bad guys in the end. It was what newspapers were created for.

But days had passed, and there was nothing.

No bad guy. No news about the victims.

And dark magic… 

Wooyoung wouldn't bring the subject back on the table because he knew Mingi was genuinely scared, but it didn't mean it wouldn't stay in his mind.

He really hoped he was only speculating and being dramatic.

"Are you even listening ?"

Mingi's low voice cut him from his thoughts. He smiled down at his friend, nodding. 

"Of course, major and minor," he repeated the last few words he could remember. 

Mingi scoffed and rolled his eyes. Wooyoung didn't know if it was a good sign or not, but Mingi stayed in his arms and settled his hands on Wooyoung’s, playing with his fingers.

"You're lucky you're comfortable," Mingi mumbled, and Wooyoung laughed.

He squeezed his friend in his arms and just because he knew Mingi hated that, pressed a wet kiss on his cheek.

That marked the end of their cuddles and Wooyoung screamed as he ran out of the dorm, a very angry Mingi behind him.

  
  
  


**October 28th (Wednesday)**

They decided San deserved a break.

He had been trying to summon his patronus for a whole hour and hadn’t managed to do anything, but he never gave up despite the constant emptiness he received at the end of his wand.

After his failed attempts from last week, Wooyoung had been a bit scared San would stay upset, but it seemed like his friend had accepted he would need patience to achieve his goal.

Wooyoung found his determination inspiring.

They sat back down on the blanket San had brought with their weekly picnic, the white tissue already stained with the mud San had under his shoes.

It wasn’t as if Wooyoung hadn’t tried to keep it white. He had told San multiple times to take his shoes off before sitting on the damn blanket, but San never listened.

“ _We can just use a cleaning charm,_ ” he had said, yet he never used one.

Wooyoung knew he should be annoyed, but he guessed that was exactly what he loved about San.

For the many years Wooyoung looked at him from afar, he thought San was another Pureblood perfection, the unstained image of nobility and richness. And there was nothing wrong being a Pureblood perfection. Yeosang himself was one of them when he was asked to, or when he felt like being one. He was much more than that though, and that was what made Yeosang so… Yeosang.

But San was completely different.

He would let out ugly snorts, spit back in his glass, laugh when he shouldn’t, forget to flush the toilet, put dirt on white blanket. He was full of little imperfections that made him so amazing.

So no, Wooyoung couldn’t be mad at him putting dirt on the white blanket.

What he could do was laugh at his face and help him clean his chin when the juice of the apple he was munching rolled on his skin.

“You’re such a mess,” Wooyoung snickered as he put the dirty tissue somewhere on the blanket.

San giggled, not even slightly embarrassed by the fact he couldn’t eat properly and Wooyoung had to clean his face for him.

“Are you going to audition ?”

Wooyoung turned back to San in an instant, eyes wide. San kept laughing, at his surprised face this time.

“I talked with Hwa while you were taking your sweet time,” he explained, taking another bite of his apple. “It’s a big role, right ?”

Wooyoung lowered his head, his eyes falling on his lap.

It was. Wooyoung had been ecstatic when the official dates of their first show of the year had been announced, but as soon as the subject of auditions came up, his enthusiasm slightly dropped.

“It is,” he answered. He started fiddling with his fingers. “I don’t think I will audition.”

“What ? Why ?”

San sounded confused, but Wooyoung didn’t dare raise his head. He thought the reason was obvious. He never had to say it out loud, facts were here and things were how they were. He never felt the need to explain why he couldn’t audition and his friends never pushed him.

But here was San, genuinely confused by Wooyoung’s answer.

“Because Seonghwa is here,” he finally confessed, the words leaving his mouth but putting a painful weight in his chest.

He wasn’t jealous of Seonghwa. He never had been.

But he knew he wasn’t enough, and auditions had always been the painful reminder that he would never be able to reach Seonghwa’s level.

“Hmm. Nope. Your excuse isn’t valid, try again.”

San bit loudly into his apple and Wooyoung raised his head, instantly meeting San’s eyes. 

His friend raised an eyebrow, waiting for Wooyoung to say something, maybe find another excuse.

But Wooyoung had none, because all he had said was the truth.

He didn’t want to audition, because everybody knew Seonghwa would win the first role. Trying would only mean hoping, and the downfall would be more hurtful. Wooyoung had fallen too many times into this chasm to risk falling into it again. Not now that he was feeling better, now that he could feel proud of himself for the smallest things.

Seeing Wooyoung wasn’t going to talk, San sighed. He got rid of the core of his apple and sat crossed legs, right in front of Wooyoung.

“Woo. Woo, look at me.”

Wooyoung obliged. He couldn’t resist San’s voice, even less while he called him with this nickname.

San’s eyes were dark, deep. Boring into Wooyoung’s with an intensity that made him intimidating.

Wooyoung could look at his eyes for hours. 

“Second role is great. I saw _all_ of your shows, and you’re always amazing and nailing it perfectly.” He took Wooyoung’s hands in his. “I think you deserve the first role as much as Hwa.”

“But-“

“I know you’re scared,” San interrupted. He gave a light squeeze to Wooyoung’s hands. “You have the right to be scared, to feel insecure, not enough. Seonghwa _is_ amazing, but so are you. If you want to do it, try. If you don’t try, you’ll never move forward. You’ll stay stuck to the ground.” He intertwined their fingers together, San’s skin soft against Wooyoung’s. “I don’t want to see you stuck to the ground. I know you can fly.” 

“But if I fail… I’ll fall lower. Getting up is hard.” 

“I know.” A sad smile lingered on the corner of San’s lips. “Believe me, I know. But everything is here.” He let go of Wooyoung’s right hand to point at his own head. “And here.” A hand on Wooyoung’s chest, right against his heart. “If you really want to get up, you’ll get up. If you fail, you have to try again. And again. And again. And someday, you’ll win. Efforts will _always_ pay in the end, even if it takes some time.”

The hand on Wooyoung’s chest fell down on the blanket, only to join Wooyoung’s empty one a second later.

“My grandpa always said that the most difficult part is to take the first step,” San continued, smiling to himself as he looked at their intertwined hands. “The most important one is to never give up.”

He looked up again and the stars in his eyes made Wooyoung smile.

San always knew what to say. He always knew what to do to make Wooyoung feel better, stronger.

He was right though. Wooyoung couldn’t give up without even trying.

And if he came to fail… His friends would be here to help him get up. San would be here to help him get up.

“Thank you. I really needed to hear that,” Wooyoung murmured, squeezing San’s hands in his.

The soft smile he received in return made a few bubbles of joy explode in his chest.

“I’ll be rooting for you.” San answered, letting go of Wooyoung’s hand to form a fist with his fingers, trying to look determined. It wasn’t working, but Wooyoung felt his determination.

“I’m competing against your _brother_ ,” he reminded, snorting at the way San’s smile dramatically dropped.

“I’ll be rooting for you _discreetly_. You’re my favorite, but he doesn’t have to know that.”

Wooyoung snorted and San laughed with him, his dimples at full display.

Their hands stayed linked together as San started to talk about something else, Wooyoung’s thoughts still stuck on the sight of San laughing and his eyes shining.

His hands were soft against his skin.

His voice was soothing, keeping Wooyoung steady, making his heart race in his chest.

Wooyoung knew he had been pushing his feelings aside for a while, but right now, with San smiling brightly in front of him, his cheeks slightly pink from the cold, he decided he didn’t have to hide anymore. He didn’t have to be scared.

San was simply San.

He was the cute boy Wooyoung had watched from afar for years.

He was the friend that made him smile and laugh at the smallest things, helped him get up and kept him steady and strong.

He was the angel Wooyoung didn’t know he desperately needed to meet sometime in his life.

Wooyoung didn’t have to watch Yunho’s Muggle movies to realize, didn’t need to read Yeosang’s books to understand.

He simply knew.

He was falling in love.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind messages/comments about my health, I'm getting better don't worry 🖤


	12. October : Week 5, Part. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween 🖤

**Three Years Ago**

_Jongho snorted when Felix tripped and fell face first in a flowerbed in front of their dorm. The red cloak he was wearing was way too long for him and even though both Jongho and Seungmin had warned him about it, he had been stubborn and refused to shorten it._

_From the window of San's dorm, Jongho couldn't hear him nor see his face properly, but their friends seemed to have fun teasing him. Jongho smiled as they eventually helped Felix stand up, brushing a few flowers away from his hair and his prince costume._

_They disappeared in the garden a few seconds later._

_"You can go if you want."_

_San's voice tore Jongho's attention away from his friends and he turned around, watching his best friend coming back from his shower. He was already wearing his pajamas, his blond hair wet and sticking out weirdly around his head._

_"I know,” Jongho answered, detaching himself from the window to sit on what he knew was Yunho’s bed. “You told me the exact same thing about 50 times already."_

_“Oh. I'm sorry."_

_Jongho rolled his eyes. He had lost count of how many times San had apologized tonight, but he was sure it exceeded the number of times San had told him to go have fun with his friends._

_He reached for a bag of chips on Yunho’s bedside table, hidden under a dozen of other snacks San had brought from the kitchen._

_"Stop apologizing. I told you, if I'm here that's because I want to be here." He opened the bag and grimaced at the weird color. He wasn’t in the mood for fluorescent chips. "Do you think I need to party to have fun ? You're underestimating me."_

_He offered the bag of chips to San as his friend let out a snort, now settled on his own bed._

_"You're saying that so I don't feel bad. I know you would like to enjoy this night too. Your friends are_ crazy _. There's no way you don't want to be with them tonight, they're going to be absolutely chaotic."_

_He sighed for the umpteenth time in the last few hours, before stuffing his mouth with way too many chips at once._

_"I'm just…" He started, mouth full. "I can't even talk to a stranger without feeling like I'm breaking every rule ever, when I don’t even have proper rules to begin with. I don't understand how you put up with me…"_

_He lowered his head to look at his feet, his toes wiggling in his white socks._

_He was adorable, but_ so frustrating _._

_"San.” Jongho sighed. “Sannie. Look at me."_

_San hesitantly looked up, his lips pursed in a pout. Jongho suppressed the need to throw a cushion at his face to make him stop._

_"You're my best friend San, I don't care about the party. They have music and food ? So do we. They'll have a good night ? We will too. It doesn't matter what we're doing, let's simply enjoy this night together, okay ? Our best friends night."_

_He offered San a warm smile, hoping his best friend would feel his sincerity._

_He truly didn't care about the party. He loved his friends and he knew he was missing on some fun, but everything would be bland without San. And he would_ never _leave San here by himself, no matter how entertaining the night could be in the other building._

_It took a few seconds of staring, but San eventually smiled too, albeit faintly. He went back to eating chips, wiggling weirdly on his bed._

_“Please stop dancing, this is so weird,” Jongho snorted, finally allowing himself to sit more comfortably on Yunho’s bed. "Maybe Yunho will join us later," he added, putting his arms behind his head and his back on the wall._

_"I doubt it," San answered between two chips. "And you don’t even want that."_

_Jongho chuckled. "You're right, I don't. He'd be all sweaty and disgusting and he'd bring his loud friends." He felt the corner of his lips curling up in a smirk as he glanced at San. "I bet you would actually love to see the loud one."_

_San not so smoothly choked on a chip and Jongho bit his lips to suppress a laugh._

_"Who ?" San croaked out, feigning to be unbothered. He put the now empty bag of chips back on the bedside table._

_"You know who I'm talking about. The dancer."_

_San avoided his eyes, rummaging through the bags of snacks._

_"Oh, him. I don’t care. I just…" He cleared his throat and picked a bag of jellies. "I just really like the way he dances."_

_Jongho hummed, knowing his reaction would irritate San but finding it too funny to stop._

_A second later, San was shoving his feet in Jongho's face. Why were San and Yunho’s beds so close to each other’s ?_

_"Stop making fun of me !" San shouted, squishing Jongho's cheeks between his feet. He did shower not so long ago and he had socks on, but this was_ still _disgusting._

_Jongho grimaced, grabbing San's ankles to bring the dreadful feet away from his face._

_"Okay okay, I'll stop !" He rolled his eyes at San's happy sound of victory. "Whatever. We don't want Yunho's loud friends here."_

_San came back to his previous position on his bed._

_"Isn't there a quiet one ?" he asked, opening the packet of jellies. A few candies fell on the floor but he didn’t even spare them a glance._

_How on earth did Jongho become best friends with this mess ?_

_"Yeah, but Yun told me he's the worst one," Jongho answered before he pointed to the floor with a frown._

_San rolled his eyes, but he stood up to pick up the jellies on the ground and gathered them in his hand._

_He ate them as soon as he was back on the bed._

_"Worst about what ?"_

_Jongho shrugged. He wasn’t sure himself. Yunho was talkative and loved to rant about his life, but he didn't make any sense most of the time. Jongho was really lucky to have Seonghwa as a friend ; he was the only sane one._

_"No idea," he answered at last. "Pretty people scare me."_

_San high-pitched laugh resonated in the room, only to stop abruptly when he choked on a jelly. Jongho burst out laughing then, and San threw jellies at his face once he had managed to breath properly again._

_They ended up in a jelly fight._

  
  
  


**Saturday 31, October 31**

Wooyoung had always loved Beauxbatons’ parties. There was something enthralling about seeing his haughty classmates letting loose for once in their life and have fun like any person their age would have. It didn’t mean he appreciated them any more, but seeing so many smiling faces throughout the night tended to lift Wooyoung’s mood up.

There were many things he loved about Beauxbatons, but sometimes Wooyoung wished their school could be a bit more… Normal. Not as strict. Less judgemental.

Wooyoung knew he wasn’t cut out for this school, but he had always done his best to fit in the mold, always tried to adapt and please people around him.

But during parties, he could let go of this facade he sometimes needed to put on. For a few hours, people would leave their status aside and simply enjoy the night without caring about their grades, their image, their parents or anything that could turn them into pricks for the rest of the year.

Just for a night, Wooyoung could feel like a mundane student in a mundane school.

It was delightful.

Wooyoung had no idea how Halloween managed to become a thing in this school, but he was glad.

The party was taking place in the dining room, and the entire place had been decorated for the occasion. The round tables were nowhere to be seen, but a long table covered by a black tablecloth had been pushed against a wall, various petits-fours and fancy snacks settled on it. Fake spider webs were hanging from the ceiling, some pumpkins were floating here and there above the students’ heads and the chandelier had been turned off so the main source of light were the fairy lights wrapped around the columns of the room.

Every decoration was sprinkled with golden specks and Wooyoung was pretty sure Halloween decorations weren’t supposed to look so fancy and expensive, but he guessed Beauxbatons had to stay true to itself, Halloween or not.

Some bats were flying around and it added a sense of reality to the decoration, but Wooyoung honestly hoped they were fake. Bats were cute but he didn’t feel like dancing with them right above his head. What if they decided to attack him just as he was about to do his best body roll of the night ? His mood would no doubt be ruined until next year. No, he wasn’t exaggerating.

"You're the ketchup to my hotdog, Mingi."

Wooyoung closed his eyes, rubbing his fingers against his temples. He had been so enthralled by the beauty of the decorated room he almost forgot about _that_. He was now regretting all of his past life decisions, choosing to come to the Halloween party being the first one on the list. 

Befriending Mingi and Yunho close second.

They hadn't even been here for that long, yet Wooyoung wanted to knock his head on the nearest wall and, hopefully, pass out.

Yeosang had done it the radical way. He was sitting on one of the chairs pushed against the wall a few meters away from them, a glass of apple juice in his hand, pinky up. As soon as he saw Mingi and Yunho's costumes, he had made it clear he didn't want to be seen anywhere near them.

Ever.

And honestly, he had all the rights to react that way.

Yeosang had opted for a prince of light costume, or some sort of deity Wooyoung knew nothing about. Or maybe he was something else and Wooyoung was completely wrong once again but either way, it was white and princely.

Wooyoung could tease and nag Yeosang all he wanted, he would be lying if he said his best friend wasn't stunning tonight.

White pants, white shirt, golden ornaments and golden jewels everywhere... Lots of flounces. He looked sophisticated and expensive. Even Wooyoung, with his hot pirate costume - yes, he was _definitely_ hot and had purposely opened four buttons of his shirt - didn't dare sit next to him. So _Mingi and Yunho_ ? Wooyoung was ready to fight them if they decided to disrupt the beautiful image Yeosang was creating with his pretty face and dazzling outfit.

Mingi was dressed as a fucking _bottle of ketchup_ . How ? _Why_?

When did Wooyoung's life fucked up so bad he ended up being friends with a _bottle of ketchup_ and a _hotdog_ ?

Wooyoung was only staying with them because he couldn't sit with Yeosang and didn't want to be alone. Yeonjun was stuck with his own friends and there was no way Wooyoung would decide to hang out with Changbin on his own initiative, not when his friends - who were also Jongho’s - were already fooling around and trying to choke each other with millefeuilles in one of the corners of the room.

His two saviors were still nowhere to be seen, but Yunho had warned him when they walked out of their dorms a few minutes ago, saying he would have to be patient. Jongho had taken the responsibility to do San’s make up, and according to Yunho, his brother tended to take things seriously as soon as a tube of mascara was placed in his hand.

Honestly, Wooyoung was scared of the outcome. If San’s bare face was pretty, how cute would he be with make up on ? Would Wooyoung be able to survive the night ? Was his heart going to be okay ?

He got his answers pretty quickly. 

"Here they come !" Mingi yelled, making Wooyoung turn around at the speed of light.

He almost tripped on nothing and choked on air, his breath stuck in his throat.

Jongho had opted for a vampire costume and he looked absolutely _gorgeous_ , with his hair slicked back and fake blood running down his neck.

But San…

Shit, San was _breathtaking_.

He waved at them with a wide smile and Wooyoung’s heart became a mess of missing beats. He gulped, trying to stay sane as he took in San’s costume.

The base of his outfit was simple : a white sleeveless shirt tucked in black jeans, and black combat boots Wooyoug was certain he had seen on Jongho at least once.

The accessories, along with San’s muscular biceps, were the reason why Wooyoung couldn’t find his breath again.

Both of San’s hands were decorated by black fingerless gloves and a leather bracelet was framing his arm. White wings were attached to his back, the white feathers gradually shading from white to grey, until they were completely black on the extremities. A circlet of feathers framed his head, white plumes falling on his forehead. He was also wearing a fucking _choker_.

And to Wooyoung’s dismay, Jongho had done an incredible job, giving San a perfect cat eyes make up.

The entire costume was a weird mix of black and white, leather and feathers and honestly, it shouldn’t be working at all but somehow, San managed to pull it off.

He was the perfect blend between an angel and a demon.

Wooyoung couldn’t decide if San was beautiful, adorable, or _hot_. He hadn’t been expecting the last word, and maybe that was why he couldn’t feel like moving or talking anymore. He was stuck there, staring at San with wide eyes and being painfully obvious.

He heard Yeosang gracing them with his presence to greet the newcomers, and Hotdog and Ketchup were shouting some compliments here and there, but it wasn’t until San separated from the rest of the group to join Wooyoung that he remembered blinking was a thing he should be doing.

"Hey," San smiled, albeit a bit shy. He was looking at their feet, his cheeks slightly flushed.

"Hey," Wooyoung managed to let out. "You're… You're…"

Yeah, no. He couldn’t do this. His ears were already turning red and he hadn’t even said one compliment yet, how was he supposed to say anything ? He wasn’t even sure words were enough to describe how many thoughts were running in his mind at the moment.

He gulped, looking anywhere but in San’s beautiful eyes.

“You look great,” he said at last, grimacing at his poor choice of words because ‘great’ was _ridiculous_ compared to what Wooyoung had in mind.

He heard the cutest giggle ever and did a superhuman effort to keep his gaze on the pumpkin floating behind San’s calf.

"Thank you. I ditched the crop top at the last moment though."

_Thanks Merlin he ditched the crop top._ Wooyoung still had a lot of things he wanted to try in life, he was too young to die now.

"Maybe the choker is a bit too much…" San continued, and Wooyoung could almost laugh at how fast he looked up, ruining all his efforts to avoid San’s eyes.

"No !” he burst out, heart stammering in his chest when he took in San’s beautiful face once again. “No it's… It blends well with your costume. I like it."

A lot. He liked it an awful lot, and now his cheeks felt as warm as his ears. Damn San and his irritating ability to make Wooyoung blush.

The smile San gave him in return didn’t help at all.

“I like your costume too. It’s…” San’s gaze fell from Wooyoung’s face to his chest. “You’re handsome.”

Now. If someone could _please_ dig a hole so Wooyoung could hide in it forever.

San said he was handsome. San ! Said ! He ! Was ! _Handsome_!

  
  


His face was probably redder than Jongho’s fake blood by now, but he was too happy to care. He tried to hide his wide smile behind a cough.

“Thanks. I wanted to dress as a pirate and Yunho shoved me this picture of some Muggle movie guy in the face.”

“It’s Will Turner !" Yunho shouted a few meters away.

Wooyoung threw him a look because _how dare he interrupt his moment with San_ , but he was grateful for the tiny diversion. At least he got to breath for a second.

"Yeah, him."

He was about to add something and keep their conversation going, when a bottle of ketchup appeared between them and suddenly engulfed San in a bone-crushing hug.

Wooyoung sighed, his moment alone with San definitely broken now, but the sound of San’s giggles made him smile. He joined Yunho who had been left alone, Yeosang still stubbornly keeping his distance and engaged in a discussion with Jongho.

Whatever. They had the entire night in front of them, Wooyoung was sure he would find a way to talk with San again between two dances.

He smiled, following a bouncing Hotdog towards the table of snacks.

Now that their group was complete, the party could begin.

  
  


✰

  
  


The music played during parties at Beauxbatons had never been bad. Wooyoung always had his fun and he didn't mind the playlist switching from Muggle pop to classical pieces every ten minutes. He loved any kind of music, as long as he could dance on it.

And he could dance on anything.

But since Hongjoong took the lead and started doing all the playlists by himself three years ago, music at parties had become _amazing_. His choice of songs was immaculate, and the differences in genres to please everyone was so smoothly done people could be dancing as if they were in a club and valsing on violins a few minutes later, without hearing the transition.

Hongjoong truly was a blessing to their school. It saddened Wooyoung to know he couldn't enjoy his own work tonight. He hoped Hongjoong was spending a great time with his lover.

It had been a few hours now and Wooyoung’s body was finally starting to complain. Wooyoung had been dancing between Hotdog and Ketchup for a while but as athletic and young as he was, he needed a break or his knees would give up on him soon.

He searched the crowd of students for his friends, finding Jongho pretty quickly. The younger boy was dancing with some people Wooyoung didn't know, probably Fifth Years.

San was nowhere to be seen.

Frowning, Wooyoung excused himself, brushing Hotdog and Ketchup’s complaints aside before he slalomed between sweaty bodies and made his way out of the crowd and to the buffet.

Yeosang hadn't moved from his seat for the entire night, but now he was talking with Yeonjun and Soobin, a plate of macarons on his lap. 

After waving at Yeosang’s company, Wooyoung stole a strawberry macaron from him and stuffed it in his mouth. Yeosang grimaced.

"Have you seen San ?" Wooyoung asked, eyes scanning the crowd once more in search of a blond head.

San wasn't exactly tall but his hair would be hard to miss in a crowd of black heads. Yet, he was nowhere in sight.

"He said something about getting some fresh air,” Yeosang answered, taking a pistachio macaron and eating it in a way more delicate way than Wooyoung. He didn't even make any crumb. “It was a while ago though.”

Wooyoung nodded. "Thanks. I'm going to search for him, some fresh air doesn't sound so bad."

He tried to steal another macaron but Yeosang slapped his hand before he kicked him away from his plate. Laughing, Wooyoung waved once again to Yeonjun and Soobin, then he took his leave. 

The problem was, San could be ‘getting some fresh air’ anywhere. What if he had decided to take a walk ? The castle was way too big for Wooyoung to search for him around it, and to be honest, he just wanted to sit for a while after all this dancing.

He really hoped San didn't go too far.

  
  


Wooyoung didn't have to go too far.

San was sitting on a stone bench by the entrance of the garden, a few meters away from the building. His costume was nowhere to be seen, aside from his black pants and his combat boots. And the damn choker.

He was wearing an oversized black hoodie and was facing the gardens, his head turned upward, eyes looking up at the starry sky. 

"Hey," Wooyoung murmured when he approached the bench, smiling when San turned to look at him with raised eyebrows.

His surprised expression morphed into a warm smile as soon as he noticed Wooyoung.

"Hi,” he answered softly, moving a bit to the side as Wooyoung settled down next to him.

“Not feeling like partying anymore ?”

San shook his head, looking back at the stars.

"I guess I need to take things slowly. I'm having a great time, but it's my first time so it's a bit..."

"Too much ?"

San looked back at Wooyoung, a thankful smile gracing his face.

"Yeah. A bit too much."

He brought his feet to the bench and sat cross-legged. There was something different about San tonight, but Wooyoung couldn’t pinpoint what exactly.

Maybe the makeup ? Or the damn choker. Or maybe the fact that he was wearing an oversized hoodie, his hands disappearing under the sleeves.

Whatever the reason, his presence made everything peaceful around him, and the comfort and calmness of his entire being contrasted perfectly with the loud sounds of the party still going on a few meters away from them.

Wooyoung wasn't known as a calm person and was supposed to tire himself with dancing tonight, but he didn't feel like partying anymore either. He much preferred staying there, by San's side, enjoying the tranquility of Beauxbatons' gardens.

"I went to Jongho's dorm,” San continued, his voice soft and a pleasing melody to Wooyoung’s ears. “I was planning on waiting for him there but then I felt bad. I know if Jongho noticed I left, he would leave the party too and I don't want to risk that. He's smiling _so much_. He deserves to enjoy this night."

The fondness in his eyes made Wooyoung smile. San really loved Jongho. Their friendship was pure, beautiful. If Wooyoung didn't have the bestest best friend in the world, he would be slightly jealous of San and Jongho's bond. Both of them deserved it.

It wasn’t until a breeze blew and San shivered, wrapping his arms around him to keep himself warm, that Wooyoung realized what felt different about San tonight.

His hoodie was black.

His entire outfit was black.

Since the first time Wooyoung had noticed San walking in the hallways of Beauxbatons back during their first year, he had never seen him wearing black. San had a multitude of different outfits and many could be jealous of his infinite wardrobe, but it was always white, cream, or pastel colours. Even their uniform was matching San’s sense of fashion, and San usually looked stunning and angelic in these clothes.

But black felt _so different_.

It was making his skin and hair glow, and his makeup was enhancing the intensity of his eyes. He looked absolutely gorgeous.

“Black suits you," Wooyoung murmured with a sudden rush of confidence. It left as soon as San's met his eyes, and his ears flushed at his embarrassment.

“Oh…" San simply said, his gaze falling on his lap. "It's Jongho's. I don't usually wear black."

“Why ?”

San sighed. "I don't know. My aunt always bought us white stuff so I just went with it."

He glanced at Wooyoung for a brief moment and looked away as soon as their eyes met, a hint of pink slowly coloring his cheeks.

"Is it… Is that really okay ?” he asked, voice so low Wooyoung wouldn’t hear him if he wasn’t sitting on the same bench. “Black ? On me ?"

He pulled on his sweater paws and Wooyoung’s heart squeezed in his chest at the sight. 

Oversized black hoodies were dangerous on San.

Wooyoung was tempted to avoid the question and save himself from a heart attack if he had to see San in black again, but he could feel now wasn’t the time to think about his own well-being. San needed the compliment. He needed a push of confidence, genuine words that would make him understand some changes in his life were fine.

And Wooyoung couldn’t refuse anything to this guy, even if he wanted to.

So he ignored the way his heart stammered in his chest and offered San a warm smile, hoping his open expression could convey his sincerity.

“Yeah. You look good San.”

A light breeze messed with San’s hair as he looked up to meet Wooyoung’s eyes. He stared at him for a few seconds, searching for something on Wooyoung’s face, in his eyes, in his smile. It seemed like he found it, as the corner of his lips curled up in a timid smile.

“Thank you.”

They kept looking at each other until Wooyoung’s heart reminded him he had to _breathe_ , and he awkwardly cleared his throat, looking away. He knew his ears were crimson by now, but the blush on San’s cheeks made him feel slightly less embarrassed.

San went back to stargazing and Wooyoung followed his gaze, trying to calm himself down. 

They started a conversation about stars, and San’s eyes kept shining as he talked about the different constellations he could see, pointing at the sky.

Wooyoung knew he was supposed to look at whatever San was showing him, but the innocence and pure happiness on San’s face was a sight Wooyoung would never want to miss.

“What about you ? What do you like in life ?” San asked once he grew tired of pointing at the sky. His nose was slightly pink from the cold.

“Freedom,” Wooyoung answered, looking at the stars he still knew nothing about despite San’s various explanations. “I’d like to fly. I guess that’s why I love dancing so much. Dancing feels like flying sometimes. And flying feels like freedom.”

He closed his eyes, embracing the way the wind brushed against his face and made the bay trees sing around them. The party was in full swing behind them, but all Wooyoung could feel was calmness, tranquility.

When he opened his eyes again, San was looking at him, something unreadable in his eyes. He immediately looked away though, hiding a cough behind his sweater paw.

“Ever tried Quidditch ?” San asked, voice slightly higher than his usual tone.

Wooyoung grimaced.

His reaction made San laugh and Wooyoung smiled at the familiar high-pitched sound.

“Yeah, you and me both then. Quidditch isn’t really a Beauxbatons thing,” San agreed once his laughter had calmed down.

A particularly strong gust of wind made both of them shiver and Wooyoung frowned, looking down at his outfit. Unlike San, Wooyoung was still wearing his costume, and his thin shirt was clearly not protecting him from the cold. He was too lazy to use a Heating Charm, but he would have to, at some point. He didn’t want to move away from here anytime soon.

“You’re cold,” San murmured, and it sounded both like a question and a statement.

Wooyoung shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”

San turned toward him and threw a leg over the bench, straddling it. He opened his arms wide and offered Wooyoung an inviting smile.

“Come here ?”

Oh.

_Oh._

Oh, Merlin.

The wave of warmth that spread through Wooyoung’s body could almost be enough to fight the cold.

San was asking to cuddle.

San was asking to cuddle !

_Stay calm. It’s okay Woo, you can do it._

It wasn’t okay and Wooyoung couldn’t do it, but his body moved on its own and a few seconds later, his back was comfortably settled against San’s chest, his body wrapped in San’s arms.

“Didn’t feel like using a Heating Charm,” San muttered against his ear, and Wooyoung felt like screaming and fainting at the same time.

He did none of that though, because that would mean breaking the bubble of warmth and peace they were slowly creating around the bench, and Wooyoung wanted to stay like this forever.

He had been dreaming for this moment to come for _weeks_ . Wooyoung needed to show affection to his friends by cuddling, but he didn’t know how to ask San without being awkward or worse, _obvious_.

But now that he was there, in San’s arms, he was regretting not asking sooner.

San smelled like roses and chamomile. There was a hint of something else too, and Wooyoung took no time to realize it was probably coming from Jongho’s hoodie, but everything was still so _San_. It made Wooyoung feel safe.

He allowed himself to relax there, closing his eyes and letting his head fall on San’s shoulder behind him.

The night passed slowly, the loud music of the party still resonating in the gardens and making the ground vibrate occasionally, but Wooyoung’s thoughts wouldn’t go any further than the bench he was sharing with San. A few students crossed the gardens to join their dorm and even though Wooyoung could recognize a few faces, he didn’t bother greeting anyone.

He felt great here, in his bubble of warmth.

They bickered at some point, when Wooyoung felt bold enough and put his hands over San’s on his stomach. San whined and put his own hands over Wooyoung’s, only for Wooyoung to put his hands over San’s a few seconds later. They fought for a while, until San grabbed Wooyoung’s hand and interlaced their fingers together.

Wooyoung’s heart was beating way too fast for him to continue fighting.

They fell into silence once again, the sound of Wooyoung’s beating heart resonating in his ears.

He had no idea how much time passed, but Wooyoung eventually felt like talking again.

“I really like Jongho,” he murmured. “He seems like a great friend.”

San hummed against his ear, his warm breath forcing Wooyoung to suppress a shiver.

“He’s the best best friend someone could wish to have.”

“Wanna bet on that ? Because my best friend is fucking amazing.”

San clicked his tongue and Wooyoung’s smile grew wild in anticipation, knowing San would never take down a challenge. 

“No offense to Yeosang, but you're going to lose.”

And they bickered again. Their conversation switched to some sort of battle of best friends as they counted various stories of their childhood, laughing loudly between each anecdote. It was simple and comfortable, and Wooyoung would trade this over dancing at a party anytime.

“Well once, Yeosang gave me a piggyback while I was covered in horse poop.”

“Well, Jongho wante- hold on, what ?!”

They burst out laughing and this time, neither of them felt like continuing arguing. Wooyoung didn’t know if that meant he had won and honestly, he didn’t care. San’s cute laugh was making him smile so wide his cheeks were starting to hurt, and warmth kept spreading in his chest.

It wasn’t until a familiar face entered the garden that they tried to calm down.

“Oh,” Yeosang stopped a few meters away from the bench, eyeing them weirdly. “Sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt you guys.”

“No it’s okay, what’s up ?” Wooyoung asked. He felt San taking deep breaths to calm himself down but snorting randomly in between. Wooyoung freed one of his hands from San’s hold to hit his arm, but it only made San laugh again.

Yeosang rolled his eyes, a slight smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

“We were planning on moving to Min’s dorm to chill and talk a bit. Jongho and Yunho are coming too. Wanna join ?”

“Sure !” San exclaimed happily. It seemed like he managed to calm down. “Wooyoung is freezing cold, I think it would be better to go back in.”

Oh.

Wooyoung was cold ?

He brought his fingers to his cheek, trying to feel his own temperature as San broke their embrace to stand up.

Now, Wooyoung could feel the cold.

He shivered violently and Yeosang sighed, exasperated.

“You know Heating Charms are a thing, right ?” he asked, not waiting for Wooyoung to stand up and already starting to walk again.

San quickly followed.

“We know,” he simply answered, with his big, innocent smile. Yeosang rolled his eyes at him but San didn’t seem to mind. Mingi had appeared and San was already jumping on his back, laughing loudly as their tall friend struggled to keep his balance.

The two of them took the lead, leaving Yeosang and Wooyoung behind.

“So…” Yeosang started once Wooyoung eventually joined him to walk by his side. “San ?”

“San what ?” Wooyoung asked with a frown. He had no idea where Yeosang was getting at.

His best friend threw him a look Wooyoung could only decipher as ‘you’re so annoying I’m really tempted to hit you but I won’t because I’m cool’. He broke into a smile a few seconds later though, watching their two friends almost falling in a flowerbed a few meters in front of them.

“I’m glad,” he eventually said.

Wooyoung couldn’t remember the last time he saw a smile so warm on Yeosang’s face.

It made him smile too, even though he still had no idea what Yeosang was talking about.

“Care to explain ?” he asked as Mingi and San eventually fell in the next flowerbed, their laughter loud in the calm of the garden.

Yeosang snorted, taking Wooyoung’s hand. He turned to him and gave him his sweetest innocent smile.

“No,” he simply said.

He didn’t wait for an answer and ran toward Mingi and San, tugging on Wooyoung’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this fluffy chapter 🖤
> 
> Also, I might take a break from posting for the next few days/weeks so I can work on more chapters at once. I'll be back as soon as possible, with many chapters and... ANGST :D !! haha just kidding... Mh. With some cute Woosan !
> 
> Take care of yourself, see you soon !  
> (My twitter : @steolftero)


	13. November : Week 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY !
> 
> I'm so so so so happy to be back ! The schedule is completely messed up but it's okay, I'm positive things will come back to normal at some point. I hope you don't mind though ;;
> 
> Okay enough talking, here is the new chapter !  
> \- Tuesday 3  
> \- Wednesday 4  
> \- Saturday 7
> 
> Enjoy 🖤

**Six years ago**

_Seonghwa entered San’s room with a steaming cup on a golden tray, a sweet smile on his face. San had barely emerged from his sleepy state but the sight of his brother instantly made him feel safe and reassured, and he straightened to sit on his bed, pushing the white sheets a little bit further on his legs._

_“I made you some herbal tea,” Seonghwa said as he sat down on the mattress. His brother moved aside to give him a bit more space and he slowly parted his lips to say something, but Seonghwa was faster. “With honey.”_

_San clapped his mouth shut and smiled. Of course, Seonghwa had thought about everything. No one knew San better than his brother and the dedication filled San’s chest with warmth._

_He took the offered cup, the sweet scent of honey mixed with chamomile naturally appeasing him. No beverage could top a simple cup of chamomile tea. Not even the tasty infusion Alfred sometimes brewed for him every time San whined about a stomachache._

_He brought the cup to his lips, only to flinch as soon as it came into contact with his sensitive skin, a flash of pain rushing through his lips._

_“Ow.”_

_Seonghwa scoffed. “Be careful, you impatient baby.”_

_San couldn’t help the pout instantly forming on his damaged lips._

_“As my big brother, you should have told me ‘Sannie baby, be careful it’s hot’ or something.”_

_“Aren’t you 12 ? I think you’re big enough to know a steaming cup is hot.”_

_San grumbled under his breath, making his brother laugh. The sound forced a smile on San’s lips and he hid it behind the steaming cup, not wanting his brother to think he was done pouting._

_His gaze fell on the white sheets still sprawled on his knees and he was suddenly reminded of the reason why he was sitting there, in his bed, in the middle of a sunny afternoon. The thought made his mood go down in an instant and he lowered his head. He started blowing on the steaming cup, trying to hide his sudden sadness._

_“What happened this time ?” he asked in a murmur, even if the answer was already ringing in his mind. It had been years. Things weren’t going to change now._

_Seonghwa sighed, a hand running through his dark strands. Long hair suited him. His gold earrings blended perfectly with his raven hair, shining with the dim light of the sun trying to break through the white curtains of San’s room._

_San wondered if his brother was planning on cutting his hair before school started again. They had come back from their grandparents’ house two days ago and Seonghwa was only three days away from going back to Beauxbatons to start his second year. San wished he could stay with his brother a bit longer._

_One more year and he would go to school with him._

_For the time being, San would have to spend his weeks traveling from his grandparents’ house to his own home, enjoying a few days with Jongho and Yunho before coming back to work with Alfred, waiting for the next weekend he would spend with his friends._

_“You fainted.”_

_San looked up just in time to see Seonghwa’s gaze falling on the floor. He looked upset. Hurt. Just like the millions of times San had asked him the same question, only to receive the same answer._

_The white grandfather clock of San’s room started to ring, announcing the hour of the day San didn’t know and didn’t care about._

_He was tired._

_He brought the cup back to his lips and started to sip in silence._

_Seonghwa kept his eyes fixed on the floor, his hands gripping his knees. He seemed lost in his thoughts._

_San wished he could read his brother’s mind sometimes._

_“Are you sure I’m not sick ?” he asked once his cup was halfway done._

_The familiar taste of chamomile brought a small smile back to his lips. It really smelled like home._

_And home was Seonghwa._

_“You’re not.” Seonghwa eventually snapped out of his thoughts and turned to look at San. “I would have told you if you had a serious illness.”_

_San hummed. He knew that. He knew Seonghwa would tell him, he knew he wasn’t sick._

_That made his constant faints all the more strange and unexplainable, and San was tired of not knowing. He hated staying in the dark, hated meeting incompetent doctors who never found and would never find anything, while his body was still doing its own thing, not caring about the silent fear growing in San’s chest over the years._

_San drank the remaining of his cup in one go, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. He kept his eyes on the bottom of the cup, watching the remaining of the chamomile settling there._

_“Am I cursed then ?” he asked, voice slightly shaking._

_He missed Seonghwa’s reaction but looked up when he heard the rustle of his sheets as his brother moved. Seonghwa took off his polished shoes and climbed on the bed, coming closer, until his back was settled against the bed frame._

_It meant cuddles._

_San smiled brightly, the lump in his throat long forgotten as he put his empty cup on his bedside table and hastened to snuggle against his brother’s body. Familiar arms slid around San, caging him and keeping him safe. He sighed, content._

_San had cuddled with Yunho all summer, and even with Jongho a few nights before going to bed, but now that they were back to their house, San was craving for some physical affection from his brother. They both knew San would cling to his brother until the oldest had to leave in three days, and San was glad he could start so soon._

_He would miss Seonghwa’s hugs._

_“You’re not cursed,” Seonghwa answered softly, his sweet voice a calming sound for San’s tired mind. “Who would even want to curse you ?”_

_“Bad people.”_

_The arms caging him tightened and San grimaced at the sudden pressure around his body. It stopped in a second though, making San blink a few times in confusion, wondering if he had imagined it._

_Any confusion disappeared as soon as Seonghwa’s hand started stroking his shoulders, San’s body naturally relaxing under the familiar touch. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to loosen up in his brother’s arms._

_“Yeah,” Seonghwa breathed out. He brought his little brother closer, San’s head against his chest. “Yeah, bad people.”_

_San fell asleep, lulled by the sweet scent of honey, and the warmth of his brother’s body._

_Home._

  
  


**Tuesday 3**

To say San looked tired would be an understatement. 

As soon as he entered the dining room by Yunho’s side, Wooyoung knew something wasn’t right.

They weren’t smiling.

Sure, people could get up on the wrong side of the bed, some could be too tired to function properly in the morning, and sometimes it could simply be a bad day. But Yunho wasn’t like most people. He would always wake up with a smile, always be there to spread his good mood around him until he was sure all of his friends were feeling a little bit better. He was their sunshine.

But today, the look on Yunho’s face was so gloomy Wooyoung could almost imagine a grey cloud floating above his head, his steps heavy and slow. Next to him, San seemed ready to collapse at any moment.

They reached the table and San plumped down next to Jongho, immediately settling his head on his best friend's shoulder.

"Sannie ? Hey, are you sick ?" Jongho asked with a frown, placing a gentle hand on San's forehead. His frown deepened. "You don't have a fever."

San slightly shook his head, closing his eyes.

"Just tired," he mumbled against Jongho’s shoulder.

It didn't sound convincing at all. Wooyoung shared a worried glance with Yeosang, letting go of the jar of jam they had been fighting over for a while before Yunho and San had arrived.

Yunho sat down between Wooyoung and Mingi, oddly quiet.

“Are you sure ?” Jongho tried again. “Does it hurt somewhere ?”

San shook his head one more time and hid his face in Jongho's neck. 

"mm'h 'kay" was the only thing Wooyoung heard through San’s muffled voice.

"He said 'I'm okay'", Jongho clarified, seeing the confused looks on his friends' faces. He turned back to his best friend and slightly patted his head. "You're obviously not. Come on, I'm taking you to the infirmary."

He stood up and was about to grab his bag from the floor when San seemed to use the last bit of energy he had left, catching Jongho's arm and forcing him down.

"Please," he breathed out. His voice wavered and the obvious exhaustion coloring his tone made something curl uncomfortably in Wooyoung's stomach.

"San…"

"I'll take a nap before going to class. It's okay, I'm fine. I didn't sleep much that's all."

It was the most words San had spoken this morning. Both Wooyoung and Jongho turned to look at Yunho, searching for a clue, for _something_ that would help them know what they were supposed to do.

Yunho sighed, taking a slice of bread from the basket placed in the middle of the table, and putting it on his porcelain plate.

"We can't force him,” he stated, keeping his gaze on his plate. “But you need to eat something, San."

He reached for the strawberry jam and started spreading some on his piece of bread, not looking up to see if San had listened.

There was something weird about his reaction. Something out of character.

Usually, Yunho would always be the first one to worry over any of them. Even if they had been hanging out with San for less than two months and hadn’t seen Yunho and San’s friendship from up close for that long, Wooyoung was certain Yunho took as much care of San as he did for the rest of his friends, if not more. Seeing him being so… indifferent faced with this situation was strange.

Or had it been happening in the past and Wooyoung was simply not aware of it ?

He glanced at San, his friend still stubbornly clinging to Jongho.

No. If this kind of situation had happened in the past, Jongho would be aware of it too, and the concerned look on his face proved he was just as lost and worried as the rest of them.

There was definitely something going on for Yunho to react that way.

Or rather, for him to _not_ react.

Wooyoung caught Yeosang's eyes again, and he instantly knew they had the same thought. He frowned, glancing one last time in Yunho’s direction before he decided to push it aside for the time being. He knew he should have talked to Yunho a while ago already, and Wooyoung promised himself today would be the last time he pushed this matter aside.

For now though, he allowed himself to be concerned about San’s state.

"He's right San, you should eat.” Jongho talked softly, putting a hand on San's shoulder to push him away from his neck, where San had decided to hide again. San reluctantly turned back to face the table, but he kept his lips shut when Jongho tried to feed him some cereals.

After his fifth attempt, Jongho put the spoon back in his bowl of almond milk, sighing. San stayed immobile, gaze on the table, eyes empty. He didn’t answer when Jongho asked if he wanted to drink something, and didn’t react when Mingi poked his cheek.

The sight was painful to watch, tugging on Wooyoung’s chest.

His mouth reacted faster than his mind.

“Sannie,” he called, the nickname sliding naturally through his lips.

After the Party this weekend, Wooyoung and San had made their way to the Ciel dorm hand in hand. It had been calm and comfortable, and when they reached Wooyoung’s dorm, ready to wish each other a good night, San had suddenly told him he could use his nickname if he felt like it. Wooyoung had been a stuttering mess for the following minutes and they had a hard time saying goodbye to each other, but Yeosang - who had been waiting inside for a while - eventually lost his patience and opened the double doors of the dorm with a sigh, forcing Wooyoung inside.

Wooyoung had never used it ever since, but now that it was out, he knew he would call San by his nickname an embarrassing amount of times.

Every single head turned in his direction at the appellation, and Wooyoung could feel his ears turning red.

Even San had looked up, eyes wide. His face softened in a second though, a small smile lingering on his lips. It motivated Wooyoung to continue :

“Sannie, you need to eat.”

The smile disappeared behind a pout. He grumbled something Wooyoung couldn’t catch and Wooyoung thought he had lost this fight, but San suddenly took the spoon that was still in Jongho’s bowl and shoved its content in his mouth.

Even from where he was on the other side of the table, Wooyoung could see how floppy and unappealing the cereals had turned. San started to munch and grimaced, but rather than calling it a day, he took the bowl too.

"This is disgusting," he mumbled as he continued to eat, his face slowly disappearing in the bowl. It made everyone - minus Yunho - laugh and Wooyoung felt himself smiling, the sight of San being a little bit more alive warming his heart.

"I’ll stay with you if you want to take a nap. You’ll need someone to wake you up before class,” Wooyoung said, smiling even wider when San noticeably speeded up to eat _Jongho’s_ bowl of floppy cereals.

Yeosang rolled his eyes and Mingi laughed, Jongho grumbled something about being whipped as he filled another bowl of cereals for himself, and Yunho… Yunho continued to eat his slice of bread, his gaze still stuck in front of him.

Wooyoung _really_ needed to have a talk with him soon.

Once Jongho was satisfied with the little amount of cereals San had eaten, Wooyoung stood up and took San’s hand, waving at their friends with a bright smile. They left the dining room as soon as Mingi promised to take care of their bags.

Any other day, Wooyoung would have been delighted to cross the gardens while holding San’s hand, but his friend was oddly quiet and Wooyoung didn’t have the heart to force him to talk.

As expected, the Neige dorm was completely empty when they arrived. They had left the dining room pretty early, and people usually stayed in the main building after breakfast anyway.

It meant San would have some peace.

Wooyoung was about to ask if San felt well enough to take the stairs, but he stopped when the warmth in his hand disappeared, his heart slightly dropping when Wooyoung realized San had let go of his hand. He quickly understood why though.

“Is it comfortable enough ?” Wooyoung asked in a murmur, crouching down next to the sofa.

A small nod.

“Okay. You can sleep then, I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go.”

He stood up but San stopped him, weakly holding his wrist.

“Wh-”

“Stay,” San breathed out, his hand slowly falling from Wooyoung’s wrist to his hand. He struggled to interlace their fingers and Wooyoung took an embarrassingly long time to process the situation, but he hastened to link their hands together once he managed to avoid the adorable flush spread on San’s cheeks.

“I wasn’t going to leave, Sannie. I’ll just sit and-”

“The sofa,” San cut off, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s big enough for two.”

Keeping Wooyoung’s hand in his, San opened his arms wide, just as he had done on the bench the night of the Halloween party. He slightly opened his eyes, just enough to peer at Wooyoung through his eyelids, a weak smile forming on his lips.

“Please.”

And Wooyoung’s heart did a thing.

Many things even, and Wooyoung knew that for once, acting before thinking would be smarter. So he let go of San’s hand and followed him on the sofa, settling by his side and sliding an arm around his shoulders.

San’s hand found his waist and he brought Wooyoung closer, making sure he wouldn’t fall.

“You’re warm,” he murmured, snuggling his face into Wooyoung’s neck.

Wooyoung had stopped caring about the alarming pace of his heart at this point, but he hoped San couldn’t hear it. Being honest with himself and acknowledging his growing feelings for the boy currently huddled in his arms was one thing, but confessing to the said boy wasn’t even worth considering. Not yet, at least.

He slid a hand into San’s hair, his fingers feathering through the blond strands he had dreamed of touching for _so long_. It was soft, sliding between Wooyoung’s fingers like silk and Wooyoung knew he would never be able to live without running his hand through San’s hair again. An uneasy feeling slithered into his chest at the thought that maybe he was taking advantage of the situation, and he was about to retrieve his hand when a satisfied sigh passed San’s lips.

Well.

San seemed to enjoy it, stopping would be rude.

With a smile, Wooyoung continued to stroke San’s hair.

His worry hadn’t decreased though, and the feeling of San’s cold body against his was a good reminder of the matter at hand.

San wasn’t okay.

And it wasn’t just today, it wasn’t just a passing tiredness. Wooyoung had had some doubts ever since the second nosebleed, but San said he was fine and he had promised he would talk to Yunho and now…

Wooyoung sighed. Maybe he shouldn’t have waited.

“Did you talk to Yunho ?” he asked in a whisper, knowing he wouldn’t be able to relax if the question stayed in his mind any longer.

He felt San’s body tensing at the question, only to loosen up a few seconds later under Wooyoung’s soothing touches.

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he brought Wooyoung even closer and placed a hand on the small of his back.

“I know you’re worried,” San eventually replied, his warm breath tickling the skin of Wooyoung’s neck. “But please… Not now.”

The uneasy feeling was back in Wooyoung’s stomach, but he tried to push it aside. He had been expecting the lack of an answer, but being prepared didn’t mean he couldn’t be saddened.

He sighed, focusing on San’s soft strands and the warmth of his breath against his neck.

“Okay.”

They stayed like that for a while, appreciating the silence of the room and the warmth of their bodies huddled one against the other. Wooyoung could tell San had fallen asleep at some point, his breath steady and slow, the arm around Wooyoung’s waist lacking any strength.

In the end, Wooyoung drifted off too and if it wasn’t for Yeosang slapping his ass and effectively waking him up, he would have spent the entire day sleeping there with San in his arms.

Yeosang was smiling as if he had made the best discovery of the year.

Once San had emerged from his sleep, they reluctantly put an end to their cuddle session, knowing that being late wasn’t the best option in this school, no matter how worthy the cuddles were.

They made their way back to the building, minds foggy and hair messy.

“Will you be okay ?” Wooyoung asked as they reached the room of their first class of the day. Their bags were already there, settled beside Yunho, and Wooyoung noted to himself to thank Mingi later.

For the first time since the beginning of the day, a bright smile found its place on San's face. 

“I will. Thank you Woo. We should do that more often.”

He _winked_ and turned on his heels to enter the room, joining a sleepy Yunho and leaving Wooyoung there, alone with his racing heart and flaming ears.

\-----

Turned out San hadn’t been okay, or at least not for the entire day. He had survived all of their classes and had been laughing loudly with Mingi at lunch, but now that they were alone again for the Potion tutoring, it seemed like all of San’s energy had decided to leave his body at once.

He was struggling to keep his eyes open, nodding off every three minutes. When Wooyoung asked the same question three times in a row without receiving any answer, he decided now was time for them to put an end to San’s suffering.

He stopped stirring the greenish potion he had made and closed his instructions book.

“Enough of that. San, you should go to bed. I’ll clean up.”

He prepared himself for a complaint or a vehement refusal, knowing how stubborn San could be, but it never came.

To Wooyoung’s surprise, San lowered his head and nodded.

“Okay…” he murmured. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Shit. Wooyoung should have pushed him to leave sooner.

“That’s fine. I can bring you something to eat later if you want.”

He would much prefer San to stay in bed for the entire night rather than getting up for dinner. He wasn’t even sure San would have enough energy to leave his bed at all tonight.

“That would be really nice.” San finally looked up, a slight frown on his forehead. “I’m really sorry, I truly wanted to help today but I keep being distracted and I know we have this Potion test in three days and I should be there for you but this is frustrating I can’t even-”

Wooyoung put a hand on top of San’s to stop his rambling.

“Stop apologizing Sannie, it’s okay. Your health is more important.”

He held San’s piercing gaze, trying to convey his sincerity through his eyes as he brushed his thumb over the top of San’s hand. San didn’t look away, but his frown was still lingering on his forehead, darkening his face.

Until it slowly disappeared.

San sighed and gave a light squeeze to Wooyoung’s hand before letting it go to stand up. He took his bag from the floor and slid it around his shoulder.

“It’s just some bad dreams… I’ll be fine tomorrow, we can postpone this tutoring in the afternoon.”

Wooyoung decided to keep the mention of these ‘bad dreams’ for later, knowing now wasn’t the time to ask questions San wouldn’t want to answer or add another point on his list of worries.

“We are _not_ replacing your Patronus tutoring for my Potion tutoring. We’ll see what we can do tomorrow but don’t worry about it tonight. Just rest, okay ?”

San didn’t look convinced. A small pout had formed on his lips and he kept looking at the mess Wooyoung had done on the table, probably wondering if leaving without helping to clean was truly okay.

Wooyoung decided now was a good time to be a bit bold.

“Please ?” he prodded. “Do it for me ?” He tilted his head a bit on the side, his lips pursed in a small pout.

San’s hold tightened around the handle of his bag and he looked away.

“Fine,” he mumbled. He stayed there, staring at the white column of the room for a few seconds until he eventually met Wooyoung’s eyes again. A genuine smile formed on his lips. “Thank you, Woo. I’ll get going then.”

He waved almost timidly as Wooyoung offered him his brightest smile. A few seconds later, the door was closing behind him, leaving Wooyoung alone with a dirty table and a mind full of new worries.  
  


**Wednesday 4**

San had gone to bed early the night before, and according to Yunho, he had slept like a baby. Given the situation, Wooyoung couldn’t exactly scream in victory; San’s condition was better than yesterday, but how bad would it be tomorrow ? Or later during the day ? When would be the next nosebleed ? What were these bad dreams he had briefly mentioned the night before ? There was nothing predictable about him and it circled Wooyoung in a bubble of constant worry, an unsettling feeling gripping his stomach and never leaving. All he wanted was to send San to the infirmary already, but his friend kept refusing or brushing off the subject. Wooyoung loved a lot of things about San but in this exact situation, his stubbornness was frustrating.

Seeing him smiling and talking animatedly this morning had helped Wooyoung’s anxious mind though. San had spent breakfast laughing and when Wooyoung offered to walk him to his art class, he had bounced on his feet and went on a never-ending speech about the art he wanted to try today. It was cute. Adorable even.

Wooyoung still couldn’t decipher if San was an excellent actor, or if he was genuinely feeling better. For the sake of his own sanity, he chose to trust San and let go of his worries for the day. He had insisted on canceling both their postponed Potion session and their Patronus lesson though, just to be sure San could be rested properly for the rest of the week. San had pouted but when Wooyoung took his hand and did his best imitation of Yunho’s puppy eyes, he had sighed and eventually accepted.

His only condition was to spend the afternoon with Wooyoung despite the lack of a tutoring session and Wooyoung had obviously agreed. He loved spending his free time with San, and the simple thought of living one Wednesday afternoon without him by his side rubbed Wooyoung the wrong way.

They had settled by the lake, on their white blanket, and spent a few hours talking about everything and nothing, from the weird jam they got for breakfast to Wooyoung’s audition this morning.

Wooyoung didn’t get the first role.

His audition had been held in the morning and as usual, the results had been announced at the end of their class.

For the first time since he had started auditioning at Beauxbatons, Wooyoung had felt at peace. He had done his best, danced for himself rather than for his professors or for the sake of having the first role. He had danced with his heart, to _feel_ , not to please.

He had never felt so happy auditioning.

Without any surprise, Seonghwa took the first role. He had managed to nail the audition despite the worrying black circles constantly deepening under his eyes, and the tremors Wooyoung noticed on his hands every time they weren’t dancing.

Wooyoung got the second role and an avalanche of compliments from one of his stricter professors.

Now, he was eager to start working on it.

Even if he had always ended up loving the role he had and enjoyed the shows, today was the first time Wooyoung had felt so genuinely happy to receive the second role. He guessed San’s words had talked to his heart.

Now was time for dinner and as much as Wooyoung loved spending time with his friends, a weird tension around their table made him want to take his plate and eat in his dorm instead.

Wooyoung had failed to notice it during breakfast, but San and Yunho weren’t talking to each other. At all. A weird atmosphere was surrounding the two, and even Mingi didn’t seem as eager to talk loudly and joke around with San as they would usually do.

He was talking about his brother’s friend who fainted the night before, when Hongjoong stopped at their table, his usual warm smile illuminating his face. Seonghwa was a few steps behind him, eyes on the floor.

“Sorry to disrupt guys !” Hongjoong apologized, waving briefly to greet everyone at their table. “Mingi, I forgot to give you this sheet, might be useful. I added some notes so it’ll be easier for you to catch on the things I told you at the end of the class.”

He gave Mingi a paper with lots of scribbles Wooyoung would probably never be able to decipher in his life. Mingi took a brief look at the sheet and smiled brightly before he folded the paper in two and slid it into his bag.

And it could have stopped there. Hongjoong had done what needed to be done, Mingi had thanked him, and things could have been fine. They _should_ have been fine.

But Wooyoung’s gaze fell on Jongho, and he saw it in his eyes.

Jongho was about to make a mistake.

A flash of worry ran through Wooyoung’s body and his mind screamed at him to _do something_ , but Wooyoung didn’t have any time to react. In horror, he saw the way Jongho’s face illuminated with a bright smile, his eyes fixed on the person behind Hongjoong.

“Congrats on your audition, Hwa !”

It felt like the world had stopped turning. Yunho’s eyes opened wide, Wooyoung held his breath. He felt Yeosang tensing next to him and it was as if the entire room had fallen silent, hanging on Seonghwa’s lips, waiting for the inevitable fall.

And it came, crashing on their table, shattering three fragile hearts in a million pieces.

“Don’t call me Hwa,” Seonghwa murmured. Arms at his sides, he curled his hands into fists, his knuckles slowly turning white. “Don’t even talk to me. _Ever_.”

Hongjoong gasped, snapping his head in Seonghwa’s direction. “Hey now, don’t be so rude !”

He frowned at his boyfriend but Seonghwa’s eyes weren’t leaving the floor. 

“Whatever,” he spat out. He turned on his heels and left, walking in the direction of his usual table without sparing anyone a glance.

“Seonghwa. Seonghwa !” Hongjoong called after him, to no avail. He turned back to their table, guilt flashing in his eyes. “I’m so sorry about that. I’ll go talk to him.”

He ran after his boyfriend, his voice calling for Seonghwa resonating in Wooyoung’s ears until it slowly blended with the hubbub of the room.

Wooyoung didn’t even have the time to register what had just happened, because Jongho stood up abruptly, his head low and his black fringe hiding his eyes.

“I’m not hungry,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

San tried to take his wrist but Jongho pushed him away, taking a few steps back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And with that, he ran to the doors of the dining room.

“W-wait, Jongho !” San stood up in a second and abandoned his plate to run after him.

Despite the loud chatter of students resonating in the room, Wooyoung heard the slamming of the double doors as if it was the only sound surrounding him, putting a heavy weight in his chest.

The silence that followed Jongho and San’s departure was agonizing.

Wooyoung didn’t dare move and he kept his gaze firmly on his plate.

He couldn’t look up.

If he lifted his head and caught Yunho’s eyes, he was certain his heart would shatter into pieces. Wooyoung wasn’t brave enough to see the look his happy friend could be wearing on his face right now.

It wasn’t until the sound of a chair being pushed back snapped Wooyoung out of his thoughts that he finally looked up.

Yunho had stood up, eyes dark and fists clenched at his sides.

“I need to see if Jongho’s okay,” he said, any trace of happiness completely gone from his voice. He didn’t wait for a response and bent down to take Jongho and San’s bags from the floor, sliding his own on his back once everything was secured in his arms. “I’ll see you later, maybe.”

He offered them the tiniest smile when Mingi timidly waved goodbye, before he turned on his heels and left the dining room.

Only three of them remained.

“Well…” Mingi started, turning back to look at the other two once the double doors slammed shut once again.

He jumped when Yeosang grabbed his knife and started to aggressively put butter on his bread.

“I fucking hate this fucking prick. Honestly, fuck him. Fuck.”

His slice of bread was done in a record time and he stuffed it in his mouth, munching on it with a bit too much vigor as he stared at Seonghwa’s table on the complete opposite side of the room. This kind of behavior was rare but not unfamiliar, and that was exactly why Wooyoung knew not to piss Yeosang off.

Seonghwa was truly lucky Yeosang had some kind of self-control.

The older boy was sitting by Hongjoong’s side, facing them, his head hanging low. The dark circles under his eyes were still easily noticeable even from where Wooyoung was sitting, his face pale and cheeks hollowed.

He looked _broken_.

Every time he blinked, Wooyoung felt like Seonghwa would burst into tears.

What could possibly be going on ?

He was the one who hurt Jongho, so why did he look so sad ?

“Yeah, fuck Seonghwa !” Mingi said with a bright smile that shouldn’t be there considering the situation. He stuffed his mouth with bread in a much more disturbing way than Yeosang, crumbs _and_ jam falling back on his plate, but he didn’t seem to care.

Yeosang and Mingi laughed and started talking but Wooyoung’s mind was too far gone to listen to their discussion.

As much as Wooyoung wanted to hate Seonghwa, he couldn’t. Not anymore.

He could see it now, in his eyes, in his manners, in the way he kept glancing at their table when Jongho left. Seonghwa was as affected by his own words as Jongho and Yunho. He wasn’t as indifferent as Wooyoung thought he had been during these years of silence. He was hurt. And he was hurting himself, too.

Seonghwa had a heart. A fragile, damaged heart.

And a part of this heart was still beating for Jongho and Yunho.

  
  


**Saturday 7**

Somewhere in the realistic part of Hongjoong’s mind, a little voice had told him he would be disappointed. It kept talking and talking, listing the reasons why Hongjoong would never have what he was wishing for, showing him the constant degradation of the situation.

And Hongjoong knew the little voice was right. He knew he would end up being upset, knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Seonghwa had been nothing but the shadow of his former self for the past few days, and he was still falling, refusing to take the offering hand Hongjoong was desperately holding out for him.

Hoping would be a selfish thing to do. But Hongjoong did it anyway.

And when the morning of his birthday eventually came and Seonghwa was nowhere to be seen, his heart sank.

Honestly, it hadn’t been a bad day. His roommates had surprised him with a cake, he got lots of hugs from Mingi, and even more from San, and they - plus Jongho - gifted him with a song Hongjoong could now count as one of his favorite presents ever. He had spent his entire day with San and Jongho, who had honestly been a breath of fresh air after the tiring week Hongjoong had lived.

But Seonghwa never showed up.

Hongjoong even came as far as to ask Wooyoung, the cute guy San kept talking about, if Seonghwa was in class this morning. According to Wooyoung, he was. But he had left the class as soon as it ended.

Hongjoong didn’t even know what to think anymore. They had decided together that this day would be special, Seonghwa had agreed on giving him his presence for the whole day. But hours passed, dinner ended, people left, and Hongjoong stopped hoping.

He didn’t feel like going back to the dorm just yet, so just like he had done a million times before when he was upset, he settled in the piano room to work on a new song. He purposely kept his laptop closed for the whole night, wanting to try a more traditional approach. He loved working on his laptop and it was usually more practical and faster but sometimes, Hongjoong missed the classic way of composing music. And pressing the keys of a piano usually helped him relax.

He had been playing the same melody in a loop for ten minutes when the door suddenly opened, revealing a tired Seonghwa.

“Oh, you’re here !” he said with a bright smile. He sounded relieved. “I was getting worried, I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Hongjoong frowned. “I should be the one saying that,” he said, turning around on the piano stool and crossing his arms against his chest. “Where were you today ?”

“Well, I was…”

Seonghwa stopped in his motion to close the door, turning to look at Hongjoong with a frown. He looked genuinely confused.

“Today…?”

His frown deepened as he closed the door. It was as if he couldn’t understand why Hongjoong looked so upset, and was searching deep in his thoughts for the reason.

“I was...” he repeated, searching for something in Hongjoong’s eyes.

And he found it.

His eyes opened wide and he took a step back.

“It’s your birthday,” he breathed out, letting go of the doorknob to bring a hand to his hair. “It’s your _birthday_ and I left you alone.”

Hearing it coming from Seonghwa’s mouth was more hurtful than the little voice in Hongjoong’s head. He gulped, trying to say something, but the words stayed stuck in his throat.

“Joong, I’m so sorry…”

And Hongjoong could only watch as Seonghwa let himself fall on a chair, putting his head in his hands.

“I’m so, so sorry…”

The words were barely a whisper now but they were painful, piercing into Hongjoong’s heart as his throat tightened.

He couldn’t bear to see Seonghwa like that. A part of him knew he had to be mad, because Seonghwa had messed up and Hongjoong was allowed to be upset…

But Seonghwa _wasn’t fine_. Seonghwa was far from fine, and now wasn’t the time to be petty.

So Hongjoong stood up from his seat, walked a few steps forward and crouched down in front of Seonghwa, reaching out to take the hands away from his boyfriend’s face.

“Hwa…” he whispered, the lump in his throat preventing him from talking out loud. He knew he could burst into tears at any moment now.

He placed Seonghwa’s hands in his and searched for his eyes, his own slowly filling with tears.

Seonghwa wasn’t crying, and maybe that made things worse. The dark rings under his eyes were deeper than they had ever been, his eyes unfocused, sad. He looked completely exhausted. Broken.

Hongjoong couldn’t fight against the single tear slowly rolling down his cheek.

“Why does it have to be like that ?” he whispered, squeezing Seonghwa’s hands in his to keep himself steady. “Why can’t you- Hwa, what’s going on ? I’m tired of not knowing and you’re- I feel like you're _dying_ in front of me and I can’t do anything.” He choked on a sob, and the tears fell. “Hwa, _please_. Please tell me why I can’t know.”

He was squeezing Seonghwa’s hands so hard he was certain it should be painful by now, but Seonghwa was unresponsive. His eyes were still lost somewhere on the ground and Hongjoong wanted to scream at him, shake him until he gave him something, a word, a look, _anything_. Just to prove he was still there, listening.

“Hwa, talk to me… Please talk to me. I’m- I’m _scared_.”

His head fell on Seonghwa’s knees and he let the tears out, crying as his heart screamed in pain. Why was life so mean ? Why did it have to be like that ? Why couldn’t he help ? Why did Seonghwa have to suffer ? Why couldn’t they just be happy ?

A hand slipped out of Hongjoong’s grasp to settle on his head instead, gentle fingers running through his hair.

And then came Seonghwa’s voice. Soft, reassuring.

“It’s to protect you. To protect all of you.”

Tenderly, he cupped Hongjoong’s face to meet his eyes. 

“I’m sorry it has to be like that. Things will get better I’m…” his voice was trembling but he kept Hongjoong’s gaze, a hint of determination flashing through his eyes. “I’ll make sure things will get better.”

He brushed his thumbs over Hongjoong’s cheeks, sweeping the tears away.

“I just want to keep you safe,” he breathed out. “I love you.”

The last words bandaged Hongjoong’s heart a little, just enough for him to be able to talk despite the tears still running down his face.

“Protect me from what ?” he murmured, his chest tightening when he didn’t receive any response. “Hwa, protect me from what ?”

“I’m sorry,” Seonghwa simply said, and all the strength keeping Hongjoong on his feet left him at once.

He fell on the ground, slipping away from Seonghwa’s grasp and started to cry again, bringing his knees to his chest to shield himself from the world he didn’t want to face anymore.

Seonghwa was by his side in an instant, sliding his arms around his shaking shoulders and engulfing him in a hug. Hongjoong let himself be lulled as the tears continued to flow, his heart heavy.

“I’m sorry Joong,” Seonghwa repeated, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll keep you safe. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

And Hongjoong wanted to tell him he didn’t care. He didn’t care if he was safe, didn’t care if he was protected or not. He wanted _Seonghwa_ to be fine. He wanted to see him happy again.

But the tears were falling and his throat was tightening, and Hongjoong was too tired. So he stayed silent and closed his eyes as Seonghwa covered his face with light kisses, hoping that someday, their future would shine brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm sorry ? I disappear for three weeks and I come back with angst... I hope you liked it ! :D
> 
> Don't hesitate to leave a comment 🖤  
> Have a nice day/night !


	14. November : Week 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ! 
> 
> First of all, we finally have a playlist for this fic ! Here it is : [Beauxbatons Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Vtex61eoJVfUCKxnMnIYk?si=nA17jpLnSSGHSP5c3Q0cww)  
> A big thank-you to Redgi who took the time to compile my song recommendations 🖤
> 
> Without further ado, here is a new chapter !  
> \- Wednesday 11  
> \- Friday 15
> 
> Enjoy 🖤

**???**

_Those stairs again. The same white walls plunged into darkness, leading to nothing but fear and regretful tears._

_San didn’t want to go there._

_He apprehended the moment his foot would reach the last step and he would be forced to walk in the dark hallway he knew too well now._

_He was scared._

_‘Please… I don’t want to go… Please… Not there…’_

_He needed to stop. He didn’t want to go any further._

_But his feet kept going down, and down, and the darkness thickened around his body, engulfing him in a suffocating uneasiness he couldn’t fight against._

_‘I don’t want to go… Stop… Stop !’_

_A door slammed shut behind him and he suppressed a sob, a sickening feeling of deja-vu gripping at his chest. He wanted to look behind him, wanted to turn around and run, but his head stayed immobile, his eyes stuck on the steps in front of him._

_‘Please… Please…’_

_There was someone by his side, holding his arm in a firm grip. Someone tall._

_They were wearing a white robe, the soft fabric beaded in golden embellishments. Their head was hidden under a hood and San couldn't see their face but something inside him screamed he knew this person._

_If he could just_ remember _…_

_‘Don’t make me go there, please,’ San pleaded again, but the words weren’t reaching his lips._

_They were stuck, desperately fighting against the lump that was forming in his throat._

_San wanted to cry._

_He wanted to cry so badly._

_‘Please… Not there…’_

_The tears started to fall. He let out a sob and kept begging for someone to take him out of here, for someone to put an end to this nightmare, but he was still going down into the darkness and this person in white robe was still gripping his arm and the words were still stuck in his throat…_

_He cried and cried, fear clawing up his throat as he made out the end of the stairs through the dark, his tears flowing freely on his cheeks._

_Except they weren’t._

_He wasn’t crying._

_He could feel the wetness of tears rolling down his face, but his vision stayed clear, dry._

_He could hear his sobs, but the stairs remained silent._

_He wanted to stop walking, but his feet were still moving._

_Because this wasn’t him. This wasn’t his body, this wasn’t his life._

_He was living someone else’s memory._

_“When will I be able to go out ?” San heard himself ask, the words passing through his lips without his consent._

_It wasn’t his voice. It was too hoarse, too deep to be his._

_The person in the white robe shrugged, their grip around San’s arm tightening and as San’s eyes fell on the gloved hand, he realized the arm wasn’t his either._

_Frail, pale. Tattooed._

_“Depends if you’re lucky,” the person answered, and a knot formed in San’s stomach at the sound of this voice._

_He knew this voice… He knew…_

_'Remember…'_

_They continued their way down, they reached the hallway. And San could only watch and follow, helpless, because he was watching a scene he wasn’t living. A life that wasn’t his._

_So he cried, and cried, hoping that someone would be there soon, to wake him up from this dream._

  
  
  
  


**Wednesday 11, November**

Seonghwa was a mess.

Their ballet lesson had started one hour ago and he kept making weird mistakes. They were never too bad or easy to catch on, but odd enough for Wooyoung to notice something wasn’t right.

Sweat was dripping from Seonghwa's face, his dark hair sticking to his forehead in a messy way and his entire body seemed to be shaking, as if it was too exhausted to keep him up but his mind was too stubborn to stop. After two unstable pirouettes and a dangerous grand jeté, Wooyoung forced himself to look away, in fear of seeing Seonghwa collapse on the floor and never get up.

Their professor eventually forced Seonghwa to take a break and the Eighth Year reluctantly sat in a corner of the room, settling his back against a mirror and almost instantly closing his eyes. He was definitely shivering and the amount of time he had needed to catch his breath was worrying.

Whatever had been happening to him for the past few weeks, it was getting worse.

The lesson came to an end and Wooyoung left to take a shower, leaving Seonghwa behind as the older had no doubt fallen asleep.

Once Wooyoung was done showering and he was certain his hair was styled prettily enough to spend the afternoon with San, he left his shower booth and went back to the changing room where he had left his belongings. Seonghwa was there too now, shivering on the parquet floor, head in his hands.

Many curious gazes glanced in his direction, but no one moved to help. No one. Seonghwa was there, in the middle of the room, clearly suffering and _no one_ felt the need to do something. Irritation pricked at Wooyoung and he was about to go check on Seonghwa when the main doors opened, revealing none other than Hongjoong.

The older's face dropped as soon as he noticed the state his boyfriend was in. In the heavy silence of the changing room, he rushed to Seonghwa’s side to help him, keeping his head low and his usual smile nowhere to be seen.

By the time Hongjoong was done gathering Seonghwa's belongings and had made sure his boyfriend didn't need medical help right away, the room had emptied, leaving them alone with Wooyoung.

“Let’s take a nap, okay ?” Hongjoong murmured, sliding Seonghwa's back around his shoulder.

Seonghwa didn’t reply, but Wooyoung figured he wouldn’t have much choice. He was barely able to walk on his own now, Wooyoung doubted he could ever say no to a nap.

They left as quickly as Hongjoong had arrived.

Shit, how bad was Seonghwa’s condition ?

Wooyoung couldn’t stop thinking about the ever growing dark circles under Seonghwa’s eyes and the tremor in his hands, an uneasy feeling gripping at Wooyoung's stomach. This, coupled with San’s weird state these days…

Wooyoung shook his head. No. Now wasn’t the time to think about that. No need to add more questions to his list of odd things happening this month.

He stuffed all of his ballet clothes in his bag and stood up, took out his wand to turn off the lights of the chandelier, and walked to the double doors. It wasn’t until his hand was on the doorknob that he noticed the noises coming from outside.

He frowned.

Not just noises. _Voices_. 

And he knew these voices.

As nosy as ever, Wooyoung stuck his ears on the door and listened carefully. The voices were definitely San and Yunho's, and they didn’t sound happy. Wooyoung couldn’t hear the conversation well as his friend seemed to be whisper-yelling, but it was enough to break his heart.

Yunho had always hated fighting with his friends. He was the peaceful one in their group, always here to calm things down or try to find an agreement so they could go back to normal. Hearing him fight with _San_ of all people…

Wooyoung abruptly opened the door. He stumbled a bit, startled by his own strength, but he got a hold of himself quickly when he noticed the two pairs of eyes staring at him.

Well. That was awkward.

He cleared his throat and that seemed to be enough to make Yunho move.

“Wooyoung.” A forced smile. “I’ll leave you two together then. See you later.”

He waved at Wooyoung and turned on his heels, leaving the hallway in an instant. He didn’t even glance in San’s direction.

Wooyoung blinked a few times, trying to comprehend the situation.

Yunho and San had been fighting. Yunho and San had been whisper-yelling at each other until Wooyoung interrupted. They were on bad terms, this wasn’t new. It had been going on for a while now, but today had been the first time Wooyoung truly saw and heard it.

A soft hand slid into his and Wooyoung lifted his head just in time to see the flash of hurt in San’s eyes. It rubbed Wooyoung the wrong way.

Without saying a word, San guided them out of the building, tugging on Wooyoung’s hand.

San hadn’t been his smiling self the past few days. He was quieter, too. It seemed like a switch had been turned in their group of friends ever since the day San had felt particularly tired, and Wooyoung had no idea how to sort things out.

It had never happened in the past.

Sure, they had their fights and arguments, but it never lasted long, or it was just one of them being petty.

 _This_ wasn’t just one of them being petty.

In the past few days, San and Yunho had been nothing like their usual selves. They were both discreet, they weren’t smiling anymore. Yeonjun had even asked Wooyoung if things would be fine between them. According to Soobin, Yeonjun’s close friend and Yunho’s roommate, San and Yunho had spent the last few nights arguing on the balcony of their dorm. San would usually storm back into their room and hide in his bed without saying anything to anyone. Some sniffles would follow, until San would eventually fall asleep a few minutes later.

Soobin had also explained they would always end up sleeping in the same bed at some point during the night, but ignore each other as soon as the sun was up.

It was weird.

Yunho became cold and distant.

San was withdrawing into himself, quiet.

It came to the point where Jongho had asked San if he wanted to sit back with his chaotic friends at lunch. San had declined the offer, but Jongho did go back to his initial table, leaving an empty feeling in Wooyoung’s chest every time he had to eat without their Fifth Year friend.

Wooyoung missed him. He missed Jongho, he missed his friends. He missed the laughs and the smiles, the stupid banter, San high-pitched laugh and Yeosang exasperated sighs.

He wished things could go back to normal.

But what could he do ? He had promised himself he would talk to Yunho a week ago but deflated as soon as he was alone with him, faced with the tired, sad look in his friend’s eyes. He had settled for cuddles then, hoping Yunho would feel at least a tiny bit better.

But Yunho wasn’t feeling any better and San was still _not smiling_ and Jongho wasn’t with them anymore and-

Wooyoung sighed. A mess.

San squeezed his hand as they passed the gardens and started walking in the flower field. It had been raining a lot the past few days, weighing on people's minds and blending well with the current situation of their group of friends, but now the sky was clear of any clouds and the wind wasn’t too cold. It would have been the perfect time for a Patronus tutoring, if San didn’t look like he could burst into tears at the mention of one particular name.

“We can drop today's Patronus tutoring if you want Sannie,” Wooyoung offered carefully.

San vehemently shook his head.

“No, we skipped it last week because of me too,” he answered, a frown forming on his forehead. “I can’t just… Keep pushing it to another day just because I’m not in the mood.”

“But you need a peaceful mind to do it well. You know that.”

It made San stop walking. Wooyoung stopped too, not wanting to let go of San’s hand.

“You’re right,” San sighed, a pout forming on his lips. 

He looked cute today, in his white turtleneck. The vest he had been wearing during breakfast was nowhere to be seen, but Wooyoung could understand. The weather was just that nice this afternoon. Wooyoung himself felt a bit too warm in his burgundy hoodie, but he didn’t have the heart to take it off. He loved hoodies a bit too much.

“It’s okay, there’s no rush San,” Wooyoung said once he noticed San was still hesitating. “I’m not going anywhere, we can do it whenever you’re feeling better.”

He offered San a sympathetic smile, which San returned warmly. It disappeared a second later though, the pout back on his lips and Wooyoung had to suppress a laugh at the sight. 

Damn, San was truly adorable.

“I can see you trying hard not to laugh at me,” San sulked, and Wooyoung eventually let the giggle out.

“I’m sorry you’re just… You’re so cute Sannie.”

He hadn’t exactly meant to say it but now that the words were out, he didn’t regret it. San’s cheeks turned into a soft pink, and now Wooyoung really wanted to hug him.

“Whatever,” San mumbled, looking away. “Can we still go to the lake ? Jongho is spending the afternoon with Felix and I don’t want to go back to the dorms…”

Of course he wouldn’t want to go back there. Yunho was no doubt sulking on his bed or in Mingi’s dorm and after their fight, even Wooyoung wouldn’t want to face him right now.

“Sure. Let’s go.”

The rest of their walk to the lake was quiet but comfortable, and they reached their usual spot a few minutes later, eventually letting go of each other’s hand. Once the white blanket was spread on the grass, San took care of the food he had brought with him and they ate peacefully, forgetting about the worries they had left beyond the flower field for the time being.

They talked about things that didn’t sound too serious, about subjects that could make them happy. Wooyoung asked San about the art project he kept talking about, and San answered, a content smile on his lips and a gleam of excitement shining in his eyes.

It felt like nothing bad was happening, as if there wasn’t a blatant tension in their group of friends. As if San was completely fine.

Wooyoung talked about ballet, about his lesson this morning. About the role he was working on for the Christmas Show. He avoided talking about Seonghwa, even if he knew San could read between the lines and had no doubt seen his brother exiting the changing room. 

Oh, yeah. Seonghwa. Another subject they didn’t talk about.

“My father doesn’t know much about ballet,” Wooyoung shrugged as he took the last cherry tomato San had put in a pastel yellow box. “It’s the one thing I can do without him judging me. I feel like I’m doing things right when I’m dancing.”

San hummed, closing the yellow box and placing it with the others in his jute bag.

“Did he call again ? Recently ?”

Wooyoung shook his head. “He didn’t. I guess me nailing this Potion test has been enough for him to stop bothering me, at least for a bit.”

Talking to San about his father was oddly soothing. Wooyoung had eventually confessed about his complicated relationship with his father, and San had listened attentively, smiling at him every time Wooyoung felt a bit too overwhelmed or embarrassed by his own words. San didn’t judge him for his childish reactions or for his aspiration to make his father proud despite his contradictory will to be free. Wooyoung felt understood.

He had felt the way his mood had instantly dropped a few days ago, when a maid-fairy had caught him in the hallway and told him his father was waiting in the Calling Room. He had instinctively taken San’s hand and hadn’t found enough strength in himself to let go. San must have had noticed and had kindly offered to join him during the call, which Wooyoung had accepted without thinking twice.

They had spent the next ten minutes hand in hand, while Wooyoung’s father talked to him through the magical fire of the fireplace. Although Wooyoung was still 98% sure he was allergic to Floo Powder, using the Floo Network to contact his family meant Wooyoung’s father couldn’t actually see San, even if he was right next to Wooyoung.

For some reason, Wooyoung felt safer that way.

In the end, the call hadn’t affected Wooyoung too much. His Potion test hadn’t been as bad as the previous ones and it was entirely thanks to San even if the latter kept saying he had nothing to do with Wooyoung’s improvement. His father was still disappointed and all, but it was fine. Or better. Maybe.

“I’m glad then." San smiled, lying back on his elbows. "And don't hesitate to tell me when he calls next time, so I can hold your hand again or something."

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you a bit too eager to hold my hand ?"

"And what if I am ?"

Oh.

Oh shit. Wooyoung hadn't seen this one coming.

He gulped, the tip of his ears heating up when he noticed the smirk on San's lips.

Was San… Flirting ?

No, there was no way. Wooyoung was imagining things he wished could be true. San would never flirt, even less with _Wooyoung_ of all people… 

"I mean, I wouldn't mind holding your hand all the time. Who wouldn't want to hold a cute boy's hand ?" 

Oh fuck, he was definitely flirting.

The intensity of San’s gaze on Wooyoung sent a delicious shiver through his body and he took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

Well then.

Wooyoung held his hand in front of San, heart pounding in his ears and preventing him from truly comprehending the situation.

“Take it then.”

San raised an eyebrow, suspicious.

Eyes never leaving Wooyoung's, he slowly sat up. He lifted his hand to take Wooyoung’s… But as soon as their fingers touched, Wooyoung gripped his hand and pulled on San’s arm, making him lose his balance and fall on top of Wooyoung.

“You little-”

San tried to say something but the words got caught in his throat when a giggling Wooyoung started to tickle him, proud of his surprise attack. San let out a startled sound that morphed into a high-pitched laugh, and he rolled on his back to escape Wooyoung’s dangerous fingers.

His attempts were useless.

Wooyoung kept torturing him with tickles, a bright smile spread on his face. The only reason why he eventually stopped was that San’s face seemed a bit too red now, and Wooyoung wasn’t _that_ cruel. He took his fingers away from San’s ribs and laid back to sit on his heels, a content smile on his lips.

Despite being free, San stayed motionless on the blanket, trying to catch his breath. His hair was a mess, his cheeks crimson red, eyes unfocused, and Wooyoung would have probably _panicked_ at the sight of such a beautiful San lying so close to him.

He would have.

If San didn’t suddenly jump on him and took him by surprise to attack him back.

Wooyoung’s breath got caught in his throat when San started to tickle him and he gasped in surprise.

“No, wait !”

But San didn’t wait, he didn’t even slow down, and Wooyoung burst out laughing despite himself. He squirmed, wiggled, begged for mercy but the smile on San was so bright and happy Wooyoung doubted he would stop anytime soon. So in a last attempt to be free, Wooyoung slid his fingers back to San’s waist and tickled him once again.

“You-”

The cute high-pitched laugh was back, but so was Wooyoung’s. They rolled on the ground, forgetting their blanket and fighting on the grass instead, their laughs blending together and resonating in the calm of the forest.

“Stop tickling me !” San shouted once Wooyoung was back on top of him.

“No, _you_ stop tickling me !” Wooyoung shot back.

“Never !”

And they rolled again, laughing and screaming and Wooyoung’s chest was so warm, so full of happiness, of freedom, of _love_.

San ended up on top of him once again, their legs tangled messily, but Wooyoung didn’t care anymore. His fingers had stopped tickling San a long time ago and maybe San had stopped too, now that Wooyoung thought about it. They had simply been laughing and rolling in the grass, being stupid and happy.

Slowly, their laughs died down, the sound of their frantic breath blending with the water lapping at the shore a few meters away. Calm settled back around them.

San eventually let go of Wooyoung’s waist, but he didn’t move away. Instead, he placed his forearms on Wooyoung’s chest, staying close.

Wooyoung’s heart skipped a few beats.

Right now, in the middle of the forest, surrounded by trees and cute flowers, all Wooyoung could see was San. The sun was shining bright above them, the light reflecting in San's hair and making his skin glow. His eyes were sparkling, the faint blush gracing his cheeks deepened and his face was close, so close… Wooyoung could count the freckles splattered on his neck and see the way his eyelashes brushed against his skin every time he blinked.

San was so beautiful.

And Wooyoung didn’t care if San’s hands were still on his chest, if he could hear the frantic pace of Wooyoung' beating heart. He didn’t care if the tip of his ears was so red he thought they might melt. He didn’t think when his own arm came to circle San’s waist, bringing him closer.

He was stuck there, admiring the boy he was falling in love with, losing himself in those eyes he kept seeing in his dreams.

A hand came up to his hair, and San brushed his finger against Wooyoung’s strands. His eyes never left Wooyoung’s.

“A leaf…” San murmured, his breath brushing against Wooyoung’s face. “There was a leaf in your hair.”

His finger feathered through Wooyoung’s hair a tad longer, and Wooyoung was honestly thinking the world had stopped. Or he hoped it would. He wanted to stay like that forever, stay with San, lying on the grass, away from everyone, from everything. Just the two of them.

“Thank you,” Wooyoung whispered back, and San smiled softly.

And maybe the world had really stopped. Maybe none of this was real and Wooyoung was dreaming.

Why would San flirt with him ? Why would San roll on the grass with him and then… Stay there… A hand in his hair… Staring down at him with those pretty eyes, his soft smile lingering on his lips… His pink lips...

A fucking _owl_ broke the silence.

They jumped apart, Wooyoung’s heart beating fast for another reason now. He could feel his cheeks flushing red and a glance in San’s direction showed him he wasn’t the only one.

Honestly, fuck this owl.

San cleared his throat. “We should-” A cough. He was avoiding Wooyoung’s eyes. “We should go, it’s getting late.”

He stood up and walked back to their blanket to gather their belongings, but before he could tidy up anything, he turned back to look at Wooyoung. He offered him a shy smile.

That was enough to bring Wooyoung back to reality. With a stupid smile stuck on his lips, Wooyoung followed San and helped him clean up.

Once they were done, they took their leave and started making their way back to the castle, through the flower field. San’s hand found Wooyoung’s and they interlaced their fingers, Wooyoung’s heart full and content.

They were entering the gardens when San broke the silence.

“Yunho is a great friend,” he said out of nowhere, looking at the pebbles on the ground. “I know he only wants me to be happy.”

Oh. Yeah, they were definitely back to reality.

Wooyoung stayed silent. He didn’t know what was going through San’s mind, but he could tell San had been thinking about it for a while this afternoon. He squeezed San’s hand and San squeezed back, a tiny smile on his lips.

“I need to go apologize.”

  
  
  
  


**Sunday 15, November**

Wooyoung has never felt so tense hanging out in Mingi’s room before. He has always hated the massive amount of gold in the Soleil dorm and the happy atmosphere of its common room was oppressing, but today was different. They were all here, sprawling on beds or sitting on the floor, eyeing each other with confused expressions, waiting for San to say something.

It was weird.

The rain was back around their school and Wooyoung and Yeosang had agreed on staying in their dorm the whole afternoon. They had been playing cards with Yeonjun and Changbin for a while when San had knocked at their door and asked if they could come to Mingi’s room. The request itself had been odd, but the silence that followed when they agreed and left their dorm to enter the Soleil’s one had been weirder.

San had stayed silent the whole time and was still not saying anything now that the room was empty of any roommate, only the six of them remaining.

Even Jongho seemed confused by San’s behavior. He was sitting on the floor, his back against Mingi’s bed on the right side of the room. Mingi himself was sprawled on the golden sheets of his bed, frowning as he seemed completely engrossed by _something_ on the ceiling.

Yeosang and Wooyoung chose the opposite bed on the left side of the room, backs against the white wall as they naturally cuddled against each other. San was sitting cross-legged on one of the beds in the middle of the room and Yunho was on the floor by the door, eyes on his laps. He hadn’t said anything ever since Wooyoung and Yeosang had entered the room.

Wooyoung had no idea how much time passed while they waited for something to happen, but he had started to doze off when Yeosang - brave, amazing Yeosang - decided he had enough.

“Okay. What’s going on ?” he asked, breaking the silence.

San tensed at his words and lowered his head to look at his hands. He didn't answer right away. Instead, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a few seconds, before he opened them again to look at Yunho.

Then, and only then, his lips parted and he finally talked.

“I have something to tell you guys,” he said, holding Yunho’s gaze for a brief moment before both of them looked away. Yunho’s eyes fell back on his lap. “I… Yunho had been asking me to tell you guys about it for _weeks_ but I didn’t feel ready and I was being stubborn… I’m also really scared…”

He took a shaky breath and Wooyoung’s stomach clenched a bit, a sudden wave of worry taking over his body.

“We argued a lot because of that and I want to apologize for making things awkward between all of us the past few days.”

Yunho coughed and all the heads turned to him. He kept his eyes on his lap, a slight flush climbing on his cheeks. “Yeah, we know we weren’t super fun to be around these days, _I_ wasn’t being myself at all and I probably snapped at some of you so… I’m sorry.”

He finally lifted his head and his face lit up as soon as he locked eyes with a smiling Mingi. It warmed Wooyoung’s heart and he smiled too, knowing Mingi had been a bit upset because of this situation. Wooyoung had been fine, mostly because all of his worries had been turned toward San and the strangeness of it all, but Yunho had snapped at Mingi a few times and it put a strain on their relationship.

It seemed like things were about to go back to normal. Finally.

“I’m still not used to it all,” San continued, bringing the attention back to him. “I mostly hung out with Jongho between classes for the past few years and we know each other by heart now so… Having more than two friends to hang out with is new. I didn’t realize hiding things and pushing you away could create more bad than good, and damage the entire group. I understand now, and you can all thank Yunho for his annoying determination.”

Yunho rolled his eyes and San giggled.

“I’m sorry for not telling you guys sooner,” he added, his eyes on Jongho this time.

They seemed to have a silent conversation and after a few seconds, they both smiled at the same time. But when San looked away, his eyes turned dark.

Wooyoung gulped and cuddled closer to Yeosang, scared of the words that would come out of San’s mouth.

“I’m having some sort of… visions, I think,” San confessed, voice low and hesitant. “It started a few weeks ago, in September. I thought I was simply having nightmares at first, or just dreams because most of them aren’t even scary, but now I’m certain it’s more than that. It’s like, some kind of memories, from multiple people. I-I don’t know how to explain, but I can _feel_ those are real memories.”

‘Bad dream’. Wooyoung could remember San mentioning that. It would also explain why he looked so tired these days if those ‘visions’ kept bothering him every night.

"It's always the same place, some sort of basement with empty cells, barely any light. In those dreams, I'm in someone else’s body, seeing the scenes from their point of view. This someone can talk but I can't. I can't do anything. I can only watch, from their eyes." He sighed, keeping his eyes down. "Honestly, the dreams themselves aren't really interesting. I have a feeling of deja-vu all the time and it's annoying because I can't see any faces so it's just… Some strangers talking. And me watching. That's basically it."

"I don't believe you."

Huh ?

Wooyoung’s eyes snapped to Yeosang’s face at his sudden words. His best friend was staring at San with a frown.

"You're not telling everything. There's more, isn't it ?"

San started to fidget with his fingers. “Well…”

Oh, there was definitely more. Wooyoung had no idea how Yeosang had managed to see through San, but he had been right once again.

Yunho sighed loudly. “San, _please_. Just tell them, we talked about it you-”

“It’s painful !” San cut before Yunho could continue. “These visions are painful. Usually it’s just people talking in the cells, but sometimes I end up in a spacious room with weird people wearing white robes. And then there's this little boy talking to me, and I _know_ his voice, I sure I do but his face is all blurry and then I feel something cold against my temple and everything goes dark and…” his voice broke, “and it _hurts_.”

Wooyoung’s heart broke too.

Painful ? San was suffering… San had been suffering all these nights, hiding it behind bright smiles and adorable giggles. He had been living with those weird dreams haunting his mind all day yet he never stopped helping Wooyoung with his bad moods or tiny, ridiculous problems… He had _apologized_ a million times for not being able to help Wooyoung in time with their Potion test while he had been struggling to sleep for weeks…

Wooyoung wanted to cry. He felt the lump forming in his throat and swallowed, taking Yeosang’s hand to keep himself steady.

“There’s something else,” San continued, and Wooyoung had to use a lot of willpower to dare look at him again. He squeezed Yeosang’s hand and Yeosang squeezed back, giving him the support he painfully needed. “Yunho thought it would be better if I just… If you knew everything, just in case.”

He stopped fiddling with his fingers and took a deep breath. Yunho gripped his knees.

“Ever since I was a kid, I have been fainting a lot. I can’t remember when it started and I have no idea what’s causing it. I just… I blink, and the next second I’m waking up in my bed, someone telling me I had been out for an entire afternoon. I have never been able to remember anything that happened before I lost consciousness. It’s not painful or anything but… It’s weird and honestly it’s… It’s scaring me a little.” He bit his bottom lips, eyes falling on his feet. “I saw many doctors. I can’t even count how many, but they never found anything wrong with me. Hwa promised me I didn’t have any serious illness and that he would tell me if a doctor knew something so… We truly don’t have a clue of what’s happening.”

His gaze left his feet to look at Jongho.

“I’m sorry for hiding it from you. I know we’re not supposed to have any secrets but… I didn’t want to make you worry, and I was _scared_. I was scared of what was happening to me and then time passed and I just… I don’t know, I just couldn’t tell you. Yunho overheard a conversation I was having with Hwa a few years ago otherwise he wouldn’t know…” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

He held Jongho’s eyes, his fingers curling into little fists on his laps. Wooyoung could see his eyes slightly wavering in fear, the fear of being rejected by his best friend, of having hurt him. Wooyoung knew this feeling; he hated it. His heart clenched at the thought and he squeezed Yeosang’s hand once again, hoping Jongho would react positively.

And it seemed like he did.

A wide smile instantly spread on San’s face and Jongho smiled too, while Wooyoung simply blinked in shock.

What kind of telepathic…? How…? Huh ? Was that how Yunho and Mingi felt when Wooyoung could read through Yeosang’s eyes ? Oh shit, it was weird. But oddly touching.

With a warm smile still splattered on his face, Jongho climbed on the bed San was sitting on and brought his best friend into a hug. He whispered something in San’s ear and they both giggled, the sight appeasing Wooyoung’s mind a tiny bit.

Not enough though. San’s confession was… Worrying. The fact that he was having weird, painful dreams was already making Wooyoung’s chest tighten in fear, but _this_. This was just...

Yunho cleared his throat loudly to bring them all back to the matter at hand. Mingi was the first one to ask a question.

“If you fainted a lot when you were a kid, how come Jongho never saw you losing consciousness ?”

“It only happened at home,” San answered. “Even when I entered Beauxbatons, I wouldn’t faint during the year but as soon as I was home, it came back.”

Jongho frowned. “That’s odd.”

“No, that’s _creepy_!” Mingi shouted, eyes wide in fear. He took a pillow by his side and held it close, until Yunho eventually stood up to sit on his best friend’s bed, knowing Mingi needed someone by his side when he was faced with things he couldn’t fully comprehend.

“It’s suspicious,” Yeosang muttered, his voice so low Wooyoung wondered if he had been supposed to hear that.

He glanced at his best friend and frowned when he noticed the way Yeosang’s eyes were fixed on the floor. He was biting his lips, eyebrows furrowed in a frown.

Wooyoung knew that look ; something was bothering Yeosang.

“I know, it’s really weird,” San continued, and Wooyoung couldn’t help but turn back to him. He squeezed Yeosang’s hand once again, just to show him he was there if needed. Yeosang didn’t squeeze back. “I told you guys all of this because I didn’t want to hide it from you anymore, not when I keep having those nosebleeds I know nothing about either and-”

“Wait, the nosebleeds are not linked to you fainting ?” Wooyoung interrupted, just when Mingi shouted “You had more than one nosebleed ?!”

San lowered his head. “I… Yeah. But the last time I fainted was last year, in August… I don’t know if it could possibly be linked to that. It’s… I don’t know, it wouldn’t make any sense, right ?”

None of the things San had said made any sense.

He was having dreams that didn’t feel like dreams, lost consciousness but only when he was home, and suddenly had nosebleeds that came from nowhere…

What the fuck was going on ?

“Could they be linked to your… _visions_ then ?” Jongho asked, a comforting hand on San’s knee.

“I have no idea…”

Yeosang sighed. “You should go to the infirmary, San.”

“I would prefer not. I’m… not a big fan of doctors-”

“So what do we do ?” Yeosang snapped. “We just stay here without doing anything while you _suffer_?” 

Ah.

Wooyoung felt the way Yeosang’s body deflated as soon as the words were out. His best friend instantly looked away, avoiding any gaze in the room as his grip around Wooyoung’s hand tightened.

“I’m sorry…” San whispered, but Yeosang was already shaking his head.

“No I... Sorry, that was rude.” He sighed, bringing his free hand to his hair and curling one of his golden strands around his finger. “I’m worried about you.”

Once again, Yeosang seemed to be the only brave one here. He had said out loud what they had all been thinking ever since San started confessing, but didn’t dare voice.

Talking made things feel real. It proved a situation was truly happening, that somehow, they would have to deal with it.

And maybe that was why San had tried to hide it for so long, maybe that was the reason behind his silence. He was just scared of the unknown, afraid of what would happen now.

“I could do a potion for you, to help you sleep,” Jongho suggested, tearing Wooyoung’s away from his thoughts. “A strong one.”

Yunho squinted in his direction, a frown on his forehead. “It’s a forbidden one, isn’t it ?”

“Maybe."

A pause.

Well. Wanting to work on a forbidden potion within Beauxbatons’ walls was definitely not something Wooyoung would have expected from Jongho but…

Wooyoung smiled. The glint in Jongho’s eyes was enough to convince him.

He looked determined, ready to brave any rule for his best friend’s well being. San’s situation needed external help, and if they couldn’t bring him to the infirmary, what would be better than a forbidden potion ? As long as San could feel better and sleep normally again, Wooyoung would follow any idea Jongho could have.

“I say we give it a try,” Yeosang said just as Wooyoung was about to agree with Jongho. Well, at least he wasn’t the only one. “I’ll cover for you if you want to work on it or if you get in trouble.”

The smile Jongho gave him could compete with San’s. It quickly turned into a smirk when Yunho complained about his friends trying to taint his little brother, but Wooyoung could tell Yunho himself was relieved. Either because everything was finally out, or because he believed in Jongho’s capacity to put an end to San’s discomfort for a while…

Wooyoung’s smile grew bigger, his gaze sliding from Jongho to Yunho, from Yunho to Mingi, before he finally locked eyes with San. And yeah. He looked tired. He looked scared, lost. Overwhelmed.

But he was there, smiling, mouthing a simple “thank you” in Yeosang’s direction.

And even if Wooyoung knew he would go to sleep with a mind full of worries and new unanswered questions, there was one thing shining in San’s eyes. One feeling that would help them look forward, to the bright side of it all.

_Hope._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I finished this chapter with the word "hope" and the fic's title means "the wave of hope" ~
> 
> Don't hesitate to scream at me in a comment or on [twitter](https://twitter.com/steolftero) 🖤


	15. November : Week 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, new days !
> 
> \- Wednesday 18  
> \- Friday 20  
> \- Sunday 22
> 
> A little warning !!  
> Please mind the tags, I didn't add any ever since I started posting this fic but one of them is important for today's chapter (Sunday 22) and I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Take care of yourself !

**One year ago**

_A few years ago, when San had started going to Beauxbatons and had been struggling to adapt to this new lifestyle, a girl had asked him to describe his home. San had tried to avoid the question at first ; he wasn’t supposed to talk to his classmates. But he knew this girl - Chuu, if he remembered correctly - she was nice and only trying to help him adapt in their class. Not wanting to be rude, San had answered. He had talked about his brother then, because for him, Seonghwa had always been home. Chuu had smiled but her friend had frowned._

_“Home can’t be someone. Home is supposed to be where you live,” she had said. It hadn’t been mean, and she had apologized as soon as San’s polite smile fell from his face, but it stayed on San’s mind for a while._

_Four years later, San would still describe home as Seonghwa. If he had to choose a place though, then home would be his greenhouse._

_His own place._

_San knew he was lucky to live in such an expensive house, but it was too big, too clean, too white... San hated his house. His mood would drop every time he would think about going back there at the end of his summers, but it would climb back up as soon as he would realize he would be able to spend time in his greenhouse again._

_In the gardens surrounding his house, flowers were all the same. San’s aunt had hired many gardeners, but the flowers stayed devoid of any life to San’s eyes. He couldn’t feel their beauty. They looked sad, tired by the grey sky always lingering above them._

_But a few meters away, in San’s greenhouse, flowers made his chest warm and their smell could make his days better. Here, he could plant his favorite flowers by himself and observe foliage plants grow over the years. It was his hideout. The nest of peace Seonghwa had arranged for him with Alfred’s help, when San was still too young to understand why he hated his house._

_It had been raining ever since San woke up today, the usual grey clouds welcoming San when he had looked outside for the first time this morning. Seonghwa had told him he shouldn’t go outside with this weather, but San hadn’t listened. As soon as lunch was done, San had exited the house and had run under the rain with a wide smile on his face. He had reached the glass door of his greenhouse in no time, drenched but content._

_He was done watering his plants and had been zoning out for a while when Seonghwa entered the greenhouse in a rush, making San jump on his wooden chair._

_His brother hastened to close the door behind him, rain slapping violently against the panes. The sound was loud, coming from everywhere around the greenhouse, but San had gotten used to it. The dark sky San could still see through the panes of the ceiling didn’t seem so threatening here._

_Seonghwa had been more prepared for the weather. He was wearing a white raincoat, the hood on his head perfectly protecting his face from any drop. He joined San in the middle of the greenhouse and sat on an empty chair next to his brother, no doubt knowing the seat had been placed here for him - or Alfred._

_“How come this is still fuming and perfectly unscathed ?” San asked when he noticed the steaming cup of tea Seonghwa was holding. Not a drop of rain. No ugly smears on its sides._

_The cup was_ dry _._

_“Do you know magic, San ?” Seonghwa said with a deadpan expression. When he didn’t receive any response, he rolled his eyes and put the cup on San’s workbench. “I guess you don’t, considering how ugly your hair looks right now. You didn’t even think about using the Hot Air Charm, right ?”_

_San shrugged. What if he hadn’t ? He had been so happy to see his flowers again that he had somehow managed to push away the uncomfortable feeling of wet clothes sticking to his skin. By the time he was done watering his green plants, everything had dried naturally._

_He didn’t feel like answering and chose to ignore his brother’s comment, taking the cup of tea instead. He smelled its content with a tentative sniff._

_Chamomille._

_“What’s that ?” he asked, smiling at the familiar scent._

_“Herbal tea.”_

_San rolled his eyes. “I know that. What for ?”_

_Seonghwa shrugged, relaxing against his chair._

_“To put some strength into your weak body,” he said at last, eyes on the blue forget-me-nots in front of them._

_San couldn’t help but scoff._

_“With herbal tea ? And you’re the one to talk, your arms look like noodles next to mine.”_

_Seonghwa didn’t laugh. He frowned, eyes back on San._

_“You fainted twice this week.”_

_It cast a chill in the place, making San shiver. He brought the cup to his lips and took a sip to keep his mind away from the painful thoughts he knew would fill his mind all night. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even want to_ think _about it._

_“I could still break your kneecaps in a second,” he mumbled into his cup, hoping Seonghwa would take the hint and change the subject._

_“You sound like Jongho.”_

_Oh._

_San’s head snapped back up and he stared at Seonghwa with wide eyes. His brother seemed just as startled by his own words, a hand on his mouth. He quickly got a grip of himself though, he always did, and after a furtive glance at the glass door, he cleared his throat._

_“Just drink,” he prompted, looking away._

_San obeyed but his mind stayed on his brother, on the few words he had let out by accident. It wasn’t much but somehow, it warmed San’s heart as much as it hurt him._

_“It’s… It’s been a while since you said Jongie’s name,” he murmured, his grip tightening around his cup._

_“Yeah, well.” Seonghwa stood up. “Whatever.”_

_He was about to leave but stopped when San spoke again._

_“It’s weird right ?” San asked, avoiding his brother’s eyes. “Every time I faint… I can’t remember anything. How it happened, when it happened, what I was doing… I feel fine all the time.”_

_He sighed and put the cup of tea back on the workbench before he eventually met Seonghwa’s eyes. “For all I know, maybe you’re just making this up. Maybe you’re making me fall asleep and then you poison me with herbal tea.”_

_A long silence followed San’s words, broken by the sound of rain still slamming against the greenhouse’s panes. Seonghwa remained quiet, staring back at his brother with an expression San couldn’t quite decipher._

_Until San couldn’t hold it any longer. He wiggled his eyebrows, a sly smile on his lips and Seonghwa rolled his eyes._

_“I should actually put something in your tea to give you some good sense of humor.”_

_San let out a giggle. “Go away,” he said, taking the cup of tea back in his hands. It wasn’t burning hot anymore, but the smell was still strong enough to warm his chest._

_And Seonghwa did go away, but not before pressing a kiss to San’s temple._

_“Take care of yourself, Sannie.”_

**Wednesday 18, November**

San was stubborn and didn’t know how to properly take care of himself.

It wasn’t a newly discovered fact or anything, but his current behavior was making things even more difficult than they already were these days. All Wooyoung wanted was for San to go to the goddamn infirmary, but his friend kept saying he would go later and as much as Wooyoung wanted to respect San’s choices and stay patient, his stubbornness was frustrating. Or maybe the dread constantly gripping Wooyoung’s stomach was just setting him on edge.

Wooyoung had all the rights to be concerned though.

They had no clue what was happening. San could faint at any moment of the day or suddenly have a nosebleed for no reason. His health was playing a perverse game with him and this was _not_ normal. Wooyoung knew San was scared of the unknown too. He probably wanted to be treated normally, pretending that everything was fine… But Wooyoung couldn’t help but worry.

Those dreams San had been talking about ; it was odd. San had tried to describe some and most of them seemed 'normal'. He would go down some stairs, walk in a hallway, sit in a cell. It was weird and a bit creepy, sure, but not too alarming. What _was_ alarming was how deeply convinced San was that these dreams were real and not just created by his imagination. He had referred to them as ‘visions’ and no matter how odd that sounded, Wooyoung came to the conclusion these were indeed what San had been having.

Visions.

As for the painful ones, San had brushed off the subject when Jongho had asked him to describe them.

No one had felt brave enough to push him to talk, not even Yeosang.

Wooyoung sighed, a puff of air forming in front of him before it slowly faded into nothing. The weather had drastically changed this week, the air was cold. Wooyoung had been forced to add a layer of clothes under his blue hoodie, along with a thick white scarf.

San was walking by his side, a hand slid in Wooyoung’s. They were heading to their usual spot for the Patronus tutoring San had vehemently refused to cancel today, promising that he was feeling fine enough to work properly.

San looked like a prince today.

He was wearing a long white coat decorated with golden pearls, white pants, and white shoes. Wooyoung had almost choked on air when he had seen San for the first time this morning, and his lovesick heart had been poorly treated during the whole breakfast.

San was stunning.

Wooyoung was still having an internal crisis now that they were walking hand in hand, but his heart had managed to beat properly again. Or as properly as it could, because Wooyoung couldn’t stop glancing at San and his heart still did loopings in his chest every time San met his eyes.

After an umpteenth eye contact and his heart missing yet another beat, Wooyoung came to the conclusion that San’s coat wasn’t warm enough for him. San kept shivering, his jaw clenching every time a breeze brushed against his face, and his nose was definitely red. He was scrunching it, trying to stop himself from sniffling and Wooyoung could have laughed at him if he wasn’t so shaken by the fact that right now, San was the cutest human being Wooyoung had ever seen in his life.

So nobody could blame him when, once again, he moved before thinking.

He stopped walking abruptly, the sudden gesture making San stumble a bit but he halted too. He turned to look at Wooyoung, one eyebrow raised in confusion.

They could use a Warming Charm but…

Oh, Yeosang was going to tease him to death for that.

Well. Whatever.

Wooyoung let go of San’s hand and took off his scarf. The cold air slapped against his neck but he brushed the thought aside, focusing on his task.

“What are you doing ?” San asked once the scarf wasn’t around Wooyoung’s neck anymore, but in his hands.

As an answer, Wooyoung took one step closer, his eyes meeting San’s curious ones. He raised his arms and wrapped the scarf around San’s neck, careful not to choke him. 

The goal was to keep San warm, not to kill him.

It was a big, fluffy scarf and one of the only pieces of clothing Wooyoung had in white. It was absolutely perfect for San.

The latter wasn’t saying anything, but Wooyoung could feel his eyes scrutinizing him, probably wondering ' _what the fuck was this guy doing'_ , or something along those lines. 

Well, Wooyoung didn’t know either. San had been sniffling and shivering, being cute and pretty and Wooyoung had acted. Now that he thought about it, maybe his gesture was a bit too straightforward. His ears heated up at the thought and he hastened to take his hands away from San’s beautiful frame, the scarf now perfectly wrapped around his neck.

He was about to apologize when he noticed San’s nose wasn’t the only red thing on his face. A soft pink was now covering his cheeks, making him even cuter and the words stayed caught in Wooyoung’s throat.

San’s hands came to touch the scarf, his fingers slowly brushing against the soft fabric.

“I.. Hm. W-why ?” he asked, looking shy all of a sudden.

Wooyoung felt his ears reddening, but so were San’s cheeks. He cleared his throat and looked away, avoiding San’s cute face as much as possible.

“You looked cold. I'm fine so...”

A lie. Wooyoung was freezing but he couldn't just take his scarf back now. Not when it made San look so soft. Not when it made his cheeks pink. No, Wooyoung would never take his scarf back. 

Never.

San stayed quiet and out of the corner of his eyes, Wooyoung saw him putting his nose in the scarf, hiding half of his face behind the fabric. His eyes slowly formed two little crescents and Wooyoung could easily imagine the soft smile he was hiding.

“Thank you,” San simply said, voice muffled.

It had been barely audible, but Wooyoung was close enough to hear him. He gave San a timid smile and offered him his hand once again, which San accepted almost too fast.

They went back to their peaceful stroll, crossing their usual flower field.

If only life could always be like that. No worries, no painful visions, no nosebleeds. No annoying fathers and no stressful Potion tests.

Just San, walking by his side, his soft hand in Wooyoung’s.

But life wasn’t so easy and they would have to face a hard reality at some point. Wooyoung had never been as clear-sighted as Yeosang, but he had always trusted his instinct. It had never failed him in the past and to his despair, he knew it wouldn’t fail him now either. He could feel that something was coming.

And maybe it was already there.

San looked cute today, but his pretty face wasn't enough to cover the tiredness he was trying to hide. His smiles were still too small, his laughs not as open as before, he kept zoning out in the middle of their meals. He wasn’t eating that well either.

If San stayed reluctant to go to the infirmary, then Jongho truly was their last hope.

But Wooyoung trusted him.

The younger had joined San and Wooyoung the night before, right when they had been about to start their Potions tutoring. He had disappeared in the reserve, quickly followed by San, and they had come back with a box students were definitely not supposed to touch. Wooyoung had never thought he would do his biggest forbidden act with _San and Jongho_ of all people, but as he helped them search for a vial of cowbane, it hadn't seemed that odd anymore. Jongho had eventually found what he had been searching for and had left the room with three flasks of dark liquid, announcing he would work on the potion in his dorm room. Apparently, he trusted his roommates enough to work on a forbidden potion in front of them and honestly, Wooyoung kind of trusted them too. He was more scared for the well-being of said potion in the middle of this chaotic dorm, but he would have to keep faith in Jongho on this point.

They reached the lake and did their usual routine, except San ate at an incredible speed and didn’t wait for Wooyoung to finish, already up and wand in hand.

“You can eat, I just really want to try right now !” he said with a bright smile, the sight making Wooyoung’s chest burn with fondness.

Wooyoung settled on his elbows then, keeping a pastel pink box filled with a ridiculously delicious potato salad in his hands, eating as he watched San.

The latter hadn’t waited for Wooyoung’s approval. Eyes shut, he was already concentrating on the task at hand. Wooyoung had seen him focus a hundred times ever since they had started these tutoring sessions and as always, he was amazed by San’s ability to concentrate so fast.

Today though, something was different.

San’s eyebrows weren’t furrowed on his forehead, the grip around his wand didn’t seem as tense as usual. His shoulders were relaxed. He seemed peaceful.

A small smile appeared on San’s lips.

“ _Expecto Patronum._ ”

His eyes opened wide and with a flick of his wrist, San cast the spell. A beam of white light came out of San’s wand, shining brightly in the middle of the clearing and forcing Wooyoung to close his eyes.

When he felt safe enough to open them again, the blinding light was gone, but San’s smile was shining even brighter.

“Did you see that ?!” he shouted, bouncing on his feet. “It didn’t work, but there was _something_ , right ?”

Joy rippled through Wooyoung’s chest. He set the pink box aside and opened his arms wide, a large smile on his lips.

San didn’t seem to need much time to understand the meaning of Wooyoung’s gesture. With a giggle, he ran toward Wooyoung and threw himself in his arms, crashing against his body on the ground.

“Sannie it was amazing !” Wooyoung exclaimed, wrapping his arms around San. “Your efforts are paying off, you did great !”

“Should I try again ? Right now ?”

The wand was still in San’s hand and he slightly moved backward, just enough to meet Wooyoung’s eyes.

“Do you feel like you could manage to do it today ?”

“I’m not sure... “ San answered, letting the words linger in the air.

He stayed quiet for a bit and Wooyoung didn’t push, enjoying the warmth of San’s body in his arms. 

Eventually, San moved away from Wooyoung’s grasp and with a pout, Wooyoung straightened too. He thought San had decided to go back to work but to his most pleasant surprise, San stayed there, sitting between Wooyoung’s legs. He put his wand aside, next to the abandoned pink box of potato salad.

“I kind of love spending these afternoons with you and I need an excuse to continue so…” San let out a giggle, his cheeks slightly flushed. “I’m going to stop here for today. I know how to focus on some memories now so I’ll count it as a small victory.”

He offered Wooyoung a dimpled smile, his eyes turning into little crescents, and Wooyoung felt like melting at the sight. He purposely ignored San’s comment about spending his afternoons with him, the tips of his ears already heating up.

“The light your wand let out was really bright,” he decided to say instead. “You’re almost there.”

They shared another smile, and Wooyoung’s heart jumped into his throat when San put a hand on his knee. 

“It’s all thanks to you,” he murmured. 

He moved closer then.

His eyes found Wooyoung's, shining with something Wooyoung couldn’t quite describe. Gratitude ? Fondness ? _Hope_...

Wooyoung took a deep breath, about to say something he would probably regret later, when a violent shiver stopped him just in time, and he instantly turned his face to let out a loud sneeze.

Yes, he almost sneezed in San’s face.

San burst out laughing while a pout formed on Wooyoung’s lips.

“Wow ! That was a massive sneeze !” San said between two giggles. “Almost as loud as Jongho’s !”

He put his hands on the scarf around his neck and Wooyoung didn’t take long to understand what he was planning to do. Letting go of his will to pout for the rest of the day, he grabbed San’s wrists to stop him from going any further.

San stopped laughing.

“B-But… You’re cold…” he murmured, looking down at Wooyoung’s hands.

Wooyoung shrugged. “I don’t want _you_ to be cold.”

He let go of San’s wrists to slip his hands in his instead, the warmth of his skin against Wooyoung’s cold fingers already warming him up.

San’s cheeks flushed pink but for once, he didn’t look away.

“What about me not wanting you to be cold ?”

Wooyoung couldn’t help but smile fondly.

“If I was really that cold, I would use a Heating Charm.”

“Or we could cuddle.”

Bold, San was _bold_ , and Wooyoung's poor little heart was caught off guard. It skipped a few beats and Wooyoung stuttered, trying to come up with something in response.

The words eventually managed to pass his lips, but they weren’t exactly what Wooyoung had in mind.

“I’m cold !” he shouted and immediately regretted talking.

Just when Wooyoung thought he was done embarrassing himself in front of San, his stupid brain decided to trick him and now he looked like an idiot once again.

San giggled softly and the sound itself managed to brush a bit of Wooyoung’s embarrassment away. It completely disappeared when San interlaced their fingers, offering him a dimpled smile.

“Okay. Let’s cuddle then.”

\---- 

When Wooyoung went to sleep that night, nuzzled in Yeosang’s arms, his stupid smile wouldn’t leave his face and neither did the warm feeling in his chest. He giggled to himself and closed his eyes, letting his body relax as he slowly fell asleep.

He dreamed about shining eyes and cute dimples.

And he didn’t get his scarf back.

**Friday 20, November**

The cold weather remained. After Yeosang had pestered him to change his uniform before he could catch a cold, Wooyoung had eventually replaced the light cloak of his uniform by the thick one they used to survive winter. The warmth of the new clothing was more than welcomed.

The arrival of cold days would also mean less time with San outside. Wooyoung knew he would still go out to walk with Fée once in a while, but sitting in a flower field with San for hours would be rarer. Heating Charms weren’t an option anymore : they invalidated any excuse to cuddle, and that was definitely not something Wooyoung wanted.

San didn’t seem too fond of Heating Charms either, but he hadn’t changed his uniform yet. He was still wearing the summer cloak, Wooyoung’s scarf neatly wrapped around his neck.

He had disappeared to sit in the middle of the poppy field - which didn't have many poppies anymore - right after dinner, and Wooyoung had joined him a while later, once he had been done wrestling with Changbin.

San had been drawing on his sketchbook for a while and Wooyoung had settled his head on his lap, smiling to himself when San didn’t push him away. Having a sketchbook placed on his head wasn’t the most comfortable feeling, but Wooyoung wasn’t going to complain. Not when San would put the sketchbook aside from time to time, just to run a gentle hand through Wooyoung’s hair with a smile.

No, Wooyoung was definitely not going to complain.

The days seemed shorter now that they were in the middle of November, and the nights were falling faster. When the sun started to disappear behind the white mountains surrounding their school, San let out a frustrated sigh and settled his sketchbook on the grass next to him. It was probably too dark to draw now.

Wooyoung turned around on San’s lap, eventually looking up. The sky had turned into a pretty pink, the orange light of the sun still shining softly in the clouds.

Pretty.

But San’s fingers found Wooyoung’s hair once again, and now all Wooyoung could see was the familiar dimpled smile above him.

The sky was pretty, but San was definitely prettier.

“Hey,” San whispered.

Wooyoung simply hummed in response, slowly closing his eyes.

“How bad was Seonghwa’s condition during your last ballet lesson ?”

Wooyoung’s eyes snapped back open to meet San’s, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

If there was one topic San had been avoiding more than the infirmary talk, it was the one about Seonghwa’s health.

Or just… Seonghwa in general.

When Jongho had asked San if he was planning on talking about his visions to his brother, San had answered with a simple _“I’m not sure”_ before purposely changing the subject.

Wooyoung had never dared to ask anything about Seonghwa ever since.

“He was…” Wooyoung bit his lip. “He wasn’t really okay. He was still nailing it but… Yeah. No ? Huh.”

He mentally facepalmed. He didn’t know how to answer. San was looking at him expectantly and Wooyoung didn’t want to lie, but he felt like San’s heart was settled in his hands, waiting for Wooyoung to break it into pieces with his answer.

“It was bad then,” San concluded by himself. He sighed, his fingers playing with Wooyoung’s strands. “Seonghwa is… He’s really not fine. I don’t know what’s happening. I kept asking but he never talked and it’s… It’s scaring me.”

The hand stopped in Wooyoung’s hair.

“I stopped asking him if he was okay, I know he’s not, but he’s stubborn and he wants to make us believe he is…” He closed his eyes for a brief moment and took a shaky breath. “I tried _everything_ and he just… He doesn’t want to listen and I’m not strong enough to keep going like that… But I should, right ? That’s what a good brother would do. That’s what Jongho would do to Yunho, right ?”

He sounded desperate and despite the lack of light, Wooyoung could see the fear in San’s eyes. It was lingering there, staring right back at him, begging to be noticed yet trying to stay hidden.

Wooyoung’s heart clenched as he sat up, taking San’s hand away from his head to cage it in both of his.

“You’re already doing your best San,” Wooyoung murmured. The sun had disappeared behind the mountains by now, taking the brightness of San’s eyes with him. “But you have to take care of yourself too. It’s important to keep trying but if it’s hurting you, you don’t have to force yourself. We can search for another way to help Seonghwa.”

He squeezed San’s hand and offered him a reassuring smile. It made something shine in San’s eyes again, just for an instant, and his lips slightly wavered but the smile never came.

San looked down at their hands.

“I stopped talking to Hongjoong too. It… It breaks my heart to talk to him. He looks _broken_ Wooyoung. I know I should stay by his side and help him but…” He looked up again, staring right back at Wooyoung, tears shimmering in his eyes. “They are my family, you know ? Joong and Hwa. They’re home to me.”

He closed his eyes, pain clouding the features of his face.

“Why is my home falling apart ? Why is my _life_ falling apart ? What’s happening ?” San whispered, a lonely tear escaping from his eye. “I’m _scared_.”

His voice broke, and so did the walls he had built and kept around himself for so long. He choked on a sob and covered his eyes with shaking hands, but the tears were already falling.

“I’m s-sorry,” San whimpered. “I’m just- I’m just really tired.”

“No, Sannie…” Wooyoung felt his own eyes welling up and he quickly took San in his arms. “It’s okay, you can cry. It’s not your fault… None of this is your fault.” San’s sobs intensified and with a lump forming in his throat, Wooyoung tightened his hold around him. “We’ll find something. We’ll find something and we’ll help Seonghwa, and then everything will be fine.”

He closed his eyes, trying to believe his own words.

“Then everything will be fine.”

**Sunday 22, November**

For the fourth time this week, Yunho woke up in the middle of the night, San’s body moving frantically in his arms. Mind still too foggy to think, Yunho instinctively backed away to give San some space to breathe. He rolled on his back and waited a few seconds, long enough to come back to his senses and actually be useful.

A few weeks after San had started to have these visions, they got into the habit of sleeping in the same bed every night. Yunho didn’t mind, he loved cuddles and he had shared his bed with San a million times ever since they were kids. The visions carried on and San had needed someone by his side to feel safe at night, or he wouldn’t go to sleep at all.

Their nights were long and frustrating but somehow, they managed to make it work.

Yunho would put a silencing spell on his bed before going to sleep, to make sure San wouldn’t wake their roommates up if one of his visions appeared to be too violent. San would usually fall asleep in an instant, huddled against Yunho’s chest.

It became a routine and even if they both knew this situation couldn’t go on forever and they needed to find answers to San’s weird condition, they could deal with it in the meantime.

Yunho knew how to tear San away from his dreams now, and he could tell when waiting a bit longer was more judicious, in case San saw something else in his vision. Something that would give them the clues they desperately needed.

Today though, something was different. San wasn’t just frowning, pushing the sheets away from him as tears rolled down his cheeks like the previous nights.

He was panting.

And he was awake.

“S-San ?” Yunho called carefully, sitting up on his bed.

San’s open eyes widened and he instantly turned his head, searching for Yunho’s face. He was gripping the sheets under his hands, his chest moving up and down at an alarming pace.

“Yunho,” he breathed out when his gaze settled on his face. He gasped and closed his eyes, only to open them a second later, shining with tears.

“What’s happening ?” Yunho asked, trying to stay calm despite the uneasy feeling settling in his stomach.

“I-I don’t know.”

San’s face contorted into a grimace, his jaw clenched and he suddenly stopped moving. Before Yunho could react, San let out a cry of pain and the next second, he started squirming on the bed, gritting his teeth.

Panic surged through Yunho. Without taking the time to think, he frantically put his hands on San’s shoulders, then on his face, then on his chest, desperate to make him stop moving as his heart hammered in his chest.

"S-Sannie ! San, hey ! What is it, what's happening ?! ”

Yunho’s hands found San’s face again, cupping his cheeks to keep him in place.

“Yun,” San sobbed, a few tears escaping and rolling on his cheeks, crashing against Yunho’s fingers. “Yun, it hurts.”

“Where ? Where does it hurt ?”

San shook his head, his tears flying around him and Yunho was forced to take his hands away.

“It hurts,” San repeated in a whisper and as if on cue, he snapped his eyes shut and let out an agonizing whine. It was quickly followed by another painful sound, and another, and Yunho felt his own heart breaking when San started to scream in pain.

“It hurts !” he shouted, struggling on the bed and pushing Yunho away. “Make it stop ! It hurts ! Please make it stop !”

He kicked the sheets out of the bed, sweat dripping on his forehead.

"San _please,_ answer me," Yunho tried with a shaky voice, forcing himself to talk loudly to make sure San could hear him above his own cries. He put a hand on San’s shoulder but his friend flinched violently. "Please, I need to know where it hurts. San..."

The screams suddenly stopped.

San’s body came to a halt, his eyes staring at the ceiling. The wet traces on his cheeks shone with the faint light of the moon outside, quickly covered by a new flow of tears.

Yunho brought a tentative hand to his friend’s soaked forehead. When San didn’t flinch, he allowed himself to stroke San’s hair softly, pushing wet strands away from his face.

"I-it hurts…" San sobbed, gripping the sheets again but without any strength. After another sob and a shaky sigh, he let his palms rest on the mattress and closed his eyes, the rise and fall of his chest slowly going back to a normal pace.

A brief glance toward his roommates told Yunho they were still deeply asleep, and he sighed in relief. His heart was still beating fast in his chest and his mind full of new questions and worries but he stayed quiet for a bit, continuing to stroke San’s head as his friend seemed to be calming down.

“Sannie ?”

San’s lashes fluttered. He slowly opened his eyes, his gaze easily falling on Yunho.

“Can you…” San started, but was abruptly stopped by a cough. He winced, another tear escaping from the corner of his eye. “Can you take me in your arms, please ?”

Yunho didn’t waste a second. Careful to not move San too much, he slid his hands behind his friend’s back and lifted him up, bringing his body against his chest. San’s shirt was sticking to his skin, soaked in sweat, but Yunho didn’t care. All he could feel was San’s body still trembling, his shaky hands struggling to find their way on Yunho’s back. San seemed too weak to properly hug back and with a sigh, he let his hands fall on his sides, his forehead on Yunho’s chest.

“How do you feel ?” Yunho asked softly, a hand running up and down San’s back.

“Like I just died and someone forced me back to life,” San answered, his voice still hoarse from screaming.

“Was it a vision again ?”

San slightly shook his head. “N-no. I simply woke up and then my body started to hurt.”

“Where ?”

Silence.

“Where, Sannie ?”

“ _Everywhere._ ”

San broke down in tears again.

Yunho’s throat tightened and he brought San closer, feeling his own eyes welling up.

Why ? Why did it have to be _San_? What was happening to him ?

Hadn’t he suffered enough in his life already ?

The questions stayed unanswered and Yunho closed his eyes to keep the tears in, but his heart was painfully clenching in his chest, a bit more each time San’s sob reached his ears. He pressed a kiss to San’s head and kept him close, letting him cry his heart out in Yunho’s arm.

Life wasn’t fair. Life truly wasn’t fair.  
  


San was the one who broke their embrace a while later, once the first birds started singing outside. The sky was still dark and their roommates were still deeply asleep, the faint sound of Mark's snores oddly appeasing. San slowly detached himself from Yunho, sniffling discreetly. He had stopped crying a few minutes ago, and his body wasn’t shaking anymore.

But when Yunho looked down at the sheets between their bodies, it felt like the entire world crashed down on their heads. 

There was blood on the white sheets.

No, there was blood _everywhere_. On his sheets, on their shirts, on San’s hands.

“San, you’re having a nosebleed again,” Yunho murmured, finally noticing the blood on San’s face. 

It was still flowing.

Without thinking twice, Yunho took out the pillowcase of one of his pillows and put the fabric under San’s nose. The room was still too dark for him to see colors properly, but the white pillowcase quickly turned dark, absorbing the blood.

“When did it start ?” Yunho asked, heart speeding up.

“I-I don’t know… Yun, I don’t know. It’s not stopping.”

Yunho could hear the fear in San’s muffled voice. He moved backward on the bed to take a look at the damage on his sheets. Considering the amount of blood already there, it meant the nosebleed had started a while ago.

A wave of fear ran down his spine.

“D-did it stop ?” Yunho asked, knowing perfectly well San had just told him it didn’t.

San’s hands were shaking when he took the pillowcase away from his face. Blood was still flowing from his nose, dripping on his lap.

“It’s not,” he murmured, voice shaking. “It’s not stopping. Why is it not stopping ? Yun… Why is it not stopping ?!”

His entire body started to tremble again and Yunho quickly took the fabric from San’s hand to put it back under his nose. He could feel the wetness of San’s blood on the tip of his fingers.

“San, Sannie. Stay calm, okay ? Take a deep breath, you're fine. It’ll stop, it’s okay.”

But it wasn’t okay, and it didn’t stop.

Not after San choked on a sob and started crying again, panicked. Not after Yunho used a Cleaning Charm to take some blood away from the wet pillowcase, keeping it under San’s nose.

It continued to flow when San pushed Yunho’s hand away from his nose for the fifth time to look at the fabric, his eyes widening at the gruesome sight.

“Y-yun…” San breathed out when a few minutes passed and San was _still bleeding_. He blinked a few times, eyes unfocused, his body visibly weakened by the blood loss. “I’m dying, right ?”

Something crashed into Yunho’s heart. Pain filled his chest as he met San’s hazy gaze, his own fear mirrored in San’s eyes.

“No. You’re not.”

He took a deep breath and looked away as San’s eyes slowly closed.

It hurt to see him like this.

It hurt so much.

And Yunho was _terrified_.

A cold hand settled on Yunho’s on his lap, frail, trembling. Yunho felt the wetness on his cheeks before he realized he was crying, and he hastened to take San’s hand, squeezing it to reassure himself.

“You’ll be okay Sannie. You’ll be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... Yeah... Haha...
> 
> Have a good day/night !


	16. November : Week 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This monster of a chapter is here ! Enjoy 🖤
> 
> \- Monday 23  
> \- Wednesday 25  
> \- Thursday 26

**Six years ago**

_ The boulder had been tempting Wooyoung all afternoon. It was settled there, immobile, marking the limitation of the Kang family’s property at the entrance of the forest. _

_ Upon consideration, maybe the forest belonged to the Kang family too. _

_ Either way, the boulder Yeosang had always hated seeing from the window of his bedroom would finally be useful today. _

_ Wooyoung climbed on it without too much struggle, determined to put his plan into action. He stood up on the top and carefully straddled his broom, both of his hands gripping the wooden stick. _

_ Now wasn’t the time to chicken out. _

_ Wooyoung closed his eyes and started counting, a bubble of excitation rapidly growing in his chest. _

_ Three… _

_ Two… _

_ On- _

_ “What the fuck are you doing ?” _

_ Wooyoung shrieked and lost his balance, caught off guard by Yeosang’s voice. He tripped on his foot and cursed between his teeth but at least he managed to keep himself steady before he could fall on his face. The boulder wasn't  _ that  _ high, but Wooyoung had fallen from it a thousand times when he was younger, and it usually cost him a few broken limbs. He kind of wanted to stay in one piece today. _

_ He went down the boulder with a wide smile, brandishing his broom with one hand and - almost - shoving it in his best friend’s face. _

_ “Learning how to fly !” Wooyoung's smile only grew wider when Yeosang raised an eyebrow. “I  _ borrowed  _ some broom I found in the kitchen. I managed to fly like, three centimeters !” _

_ The eyebrow went down and Yeosang’s face fell into his usual deadpan expression. He glanced at the broom, then the boulder, before his gaze fell on Wooyoung. _

_ “You flew three centimeters above the ground.” _

_ It was more of a statement than a question, but Wooyoung nodded vividly. Yeosang’s expression didn’t waver. _

_ “So you thought the next logical step would be to jump from a three meters high boulder ?”  _

_ “Well.” Wooyoung frowned as he thought about it. Yeosang's gaze was heavy on him, and he started shifting weight from side to side, slightly embarrassed. “Yeah ? I guess I did…” _

_ Now that Yeosang pointed it out, it didn’t sound like a smart idea anymore. _

_ With a pout, Wooyoung looked away and bent down to tie his shoe instead, avoiding Yeosang’s judgemental gaze. _

_ Yeosang sighed loudly. “Woo, if your father sees you-” _

_ “He’s not here,” Wooyoung cut him before he had to hear a sentence he probably wouldn’t appreciate. He ended the knot of his lace with a cute loop and stood up to face Yeosang again. _

_ “I just want to have some fun for once. I don’t care if flying on a broom is ‘not elegant enough’ or ‘useless for people like us’. I just want to fly Sangie.” _

_ He turned on his heels and without waiting for Yeosang’s answer, he sat astride the broom for the umpteenth time this afternoon. _

_ He had been so happy trying to fly, and now Yeosang was ruining everything. _

_ He knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate anymore when his best friend let out an exaggerated sigh and sat on the ground. He started curling a strand of golden hair around his finger. _

_ “You need to stop breaking every rule your father sets,” Yeosang advised, his severe look boring into Wooyoung’s when their eyes met. _

_ “Oh no, not you too,” Wooyoung whined, letting the broom fall on the grass. _

_ He really didn’t want to have this conversation. People had been harping on about it his whole life, and Wooyoung was tired of it. He knew he wasn't the exemplary son his father wanted him to be, he knew he was annoying, he knew he shouldn't sneak out to break rules. He knew. He didn't need to be reminded of that all the time. It was suffocating. His only source of peace here was Yeosang. _

_ But not today, apparently. _

_ “No ! No, Woo that’s not… It’s...” _

_ Yeosang's gaze fell to the ground. He clasped his lips shut and frantically curled another strand around another finger, leaving the end of his sentence in the air.  _

_ After a few seconds of silence, he eventually let his hand fall on his knee. He lifted his head to meet Wooyoung’s eyes once again. _

_ “I’m still siding with you Woo. I’ll  _ always  _ be siding with you. But your father is…” He sighed. “I just don’t like seeing you being lectured.” _

_ Something warm welled up inside Wooyoung. The corner of his lips went up and before he knew it, he was running toward Yeosang, joining him on the ground. _

_ “Sangie is worried about me,” he cooed, reaching out to cup Yeosang’s face but his best friend was faster. He slapped Wooyoung’s hands away and quickly stood up. _

_ “I’m not,” he stated, any previous embarrassment entirely gone from his face. He ignored Wooyoung’s pout and turned on his heels, in the direction of his mansion. “I hope you'll fall on your stupid face. And your shirt is inside out.” _

_ It made Wooyoung stop pouting. He quickly looked down and yeah, this label was definitely not supposed to be here. He groaned at his own stupidity and heard Yeosang's laugh a few meters away, loud and melodious in the wideness of the plains. _

_ He rolled his eyes and let his back fall on the grass. The sky was clear of any clouds above him. _

_ Wooyoung smiled. _

_ He knew he could always count on his best friend. _

_ He stayed there for a while, maybe minutes, maybe hours. He played with the grass under his palms and blinked trying to follow the course of some birds in the sky, until he decided he had had enough. _

_ With a wide smile still stuck on his lips, Wooyoung took his broom from the ground and climbed back on top of the boulder. _

_ He would do it. He was determined to fly. _

_ And if he ever fell, he knew Yeosang would be here to heal his wounds. _

  
  
  


**Monday 23, November**

Wooyoung was familiar with the castle's wing leading to the infirmary. He had crossed the long hallway a thousand times over his school years. He knew the statues adorning its walls by heart, and could recount all the past healers of Beauxbatons who were represented here in the white marble. He had waited behind the double doors of the infirmary for hours, most of the time because Mingi had broken one of his limbs, or these two times Yeosang had the flu. Wooyoung stopped counting how many hours he had spent inside the room, waiting for his own wounds to be treated.

The infirmary wasn’t a stressful place. It wasn’t any different from the rest of their school, and Wooyoug never minded going there.

Until today.

For the first time in his life at Beauxbatons, Wooyoung was walking down the infirmary with a knot in his stomach.

When Soobin had come to their table at breakfast to tell them Yunho and San were in the infirmary, Wooyoung’s heart had instantly dropped. Yunho’s roommate hadn’t seemed particularly stressed but Wooyoung knew better. Yunho put a silencing spell on his bed every night and San was good at hiding his emotions, it wouldn’t be surprising if Soobin hadn’t seen past their lies - or smoothly-covered truth.

No, something had happened. There was no other explanation. San had been vehemently refusing to go to the infirmary the whole week and Wooyoung doubted he had suddenly changed his mind. Something had pushed him to take this decision, something big enough for Yunho and San to go to the infirmary first thing in the morning.

Wooyoung picked up the pace.

It wasn’t until he reached the white doors of the room that he dared a glance at the boy who had been walking by his side ever since Wooyoung had left the dining room.

Jongho was eyeing the doorknob with a frown, nervously biting his bottom lip.

He had been the first one to react once Soobin had finished his explanation. He had left the room in a rush and Wooyoung had hastened to follow him. They had abandoned Yeosang and Mingi behind and hurried to take the stairs, both of them staying silent as they had crossed the castle.

Now that they had reached their destination, Jongho seemed hesitant. He slowly put a hand on the doorknob and Wooyoung held his breath, his stomach lurching uncomfortably.

What would they see behind those doors ? How bad would San's state be ? Wooyoung had never been so worried about the well-being of one of his friends in the past, never had to  _ hope  _ for their safety. Anything could have happened to San this night and the fear of the unknown was insufferable.

Wooyoung heard Jongho gulp and before he could think of something reassuring to say, the younger was pushing the door open.

The sudden light forced Wooyoung to close his eyes.

He heard the door closing behind him, the sound quickly followed by a few hushed voices on his right.

He blinked once, twice, until the blinding light dissipated and Wooyoung could see properly.

The infirmary hadn’t changed ever since Wooyoung had accidentally spilled some Vitamix Potion in Yunho’s eyes last February.

The room wasn’t too large, but it was long. Two rows of ten beds were compiled on each side. Wooyoung had never understood why the infirmary needed so many beds, as he had never seen more than ten people being treated at the same time, but he guessed the aesthetic of the room would be broken with less furniture. Four windows were aligned on the right side of the room, almost reaching the ceiling. A white curtain was placed in front of each of them, hiding the scenery outside, but keeping all the light in. One of them was floating in the air, Healer Blanc probably having opened a window to ventilate the room.

In the middle of the wall opposite to the entrance, a small, plain door led to Healer Blanc’s private room and the reserve.

The whole room followed the castle's aesthetic, with its white walls and golden ornaments, but there was something cozy, something warm about this place. Maybe because it always smelled like vanilla and clean laundry. Or maybe because Healer Blanc was the nicest healer Wooyoung had ever met.

Either way, it seemed to appease Wooyoung’s mind for a bit. He took a step forward and looked over the room. Five beds were occupied today. Two young students were chatting discreetly on his right, a third one talking with Healer Blanc next to them. On the left side of the room, a boy was pouting on the first bed, his eyes stuck on the ceiling.

And on the last bed of the row was San, lying on the mattress with his eyes closed and a pastel blue blanket pushed to his chin.

Wooyoung’s feet started walking before he could even think. He reached San’s bed at the speed of light, Jongho hot on his trail. Yunho was there too, offering them a weak smile as he stood up from the chair that had been placed next to the bed.

He looked horrible. His hair was sticking up in weird places and the dark circles under his eyes weren’t reassuring. He hadn’t bothered to dress up properly, the pants of his pajamas easily recognizable under the blue cloak of his uniform.

“What happened ?” Jongho was the first one to ask, not bothering with morning greetings.

With a lazy wave of the hand, Yunho led them to the other side of the room. They followed quietly and stopped in front of one of the windows, well away from curious ears.

Yunho glanced around him furtively before he answered, keeping his voice low so that only Jongho and Wooyoung would be able to hear.

“He woke up in the middle of the night and started moving around and screaming. He said his entire body was hurting him but apparently it wasn’t a vision. He simply woke up and the pain started. It didn’t last long but it was intense and I-” his voice slightly broke, “I honestly thought I would lose him for a bit.”

He would… Lose him.

As in…?

Wooyoung struggled to conceal his shock. He looked at Yunho with wide eyes, hoping he had heard wrong, or twisted the words in his mind. But Yunho’s eyes were on the floor and he was clenching his fists, and it was enough for Wooyoung to understand he had been right. His throat tightened and he averted his eyes, too weak to look at Yunho’s painfully easy to read face. 

A beat passed. Then another.

One of the young students laughed loudly and her friend shushed her with a giggle. 

Then it was quiet again.

Until Jongho broke the silence.

“Then you brought him here ?” he asked in a murmur. He wasn’t looking at Yunho, but at least the words were out. Wooyoung admired his ability to stay grounded despite the weight of Yunho’s words.

“No, I…” Yunho sighed, glancing toward San’s bed before he looked back at them with tired eyes. “He had another nosebleed, but this one lasted for a while. He lost lots of blood and almost fainted at some point but he managed to stay awake, I brought him here as soon as the nosebleed stopped.”

“Did Healer Blanc already see him ?” Wooyoung managed to ask, despite his quavering voice.

“Yes…”

The plain answer was concerning. Wooyoung pushed a bit further.

“What did they say ? Did they find what’s happening ?”

Yunho shook his head, his shoulders visibly dropping at the questions, and Wooyoung knew he wouldn’t like the next words coming out of his friend’s mouth.

“They did a checkup a few hours ago,” Yunho explained, bringing a hand to his face to rub his forehead. His lips wavered and the next second, his eyes were filling up with tears. He took a step back when Wooyoung reached out to console him, lowering his head and sheltering any trace of sadness behind his black fringe.

“They did it twice because I insisted something was weird,” he continued, voice strained. “But they didn’t find anything suspicious. They didn’t even frown,  _ nothing _ . They said San had probably been too hard on himself the past few days because of school and accidentally tired himself out. They weren’t worried about the nosebleed either, just asked me to bring San back here if he ever has another long one. They gave him a Blood-Replenishing Potion and forced him to sleep.”

He ended his explanation with a sniffle and frantically rubbed both of his hands against his face. He lifted his head to meet Wooyoung’s worried eyes.

“So you’re telling me…” Wooyoung swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling all of his hopes fading into nothing as Yunho’s words slowly sank in. “Our only hope to have some answers… Didn’t give us any ?”

Jongho sighed loudly and let himself fall on the bed behind them.

“This is a nightmare,” he murmured, putting his head in his hands. 

Wooyoung bit his lip, staying up between Yunho and Jongho. The younger had said out loud what Wooyoung himself was thinking.

This was honestly a nightmare.

They had been worrying over San for days, seeing his health degrading as time passed, waiting for the day San would eventually change his mind and go to the infirmary. No one had said it out loud, but they all knew. They all believed he would go at some point.

Because they had hope.

But now, what could they do ? Where could they put their faith, what were they supposed to hold on to ?

San had told them doctors and healers had never found anything wrong about him in the past. The situation was different now, but the conclusion stayed the same. 

As if San was bound to suffer.

Wooyoung’s eyes welled up at the thought and he hastened to rub the tears away, trying to be the strong one for his friends, at least this time. He took a deep breath and lifted his head to look at the ceiling.

They could still hope. They  _ had to _ . They couldn’t just give up, there had to be a solution, an explanation, a reason for all of this to happen. Maybe everything seemed dark and blurry now, but Wooyoung wanted to believe light was somewhere, and they  _ would  _ find it.

The sound of a door opening brought Wooyoung’s out of his thoughts and he turned to search for the source of the sound, his gaze instantly falling on a familiar face.

“What is he doing here,” Wooyoung murmured as  _ Seonghwa  _ closed the back door behind him, two vials of potions in his hands. He settled on the chair Yunho had been previously sitting on and put the vials on San’s bedside table, before he gently brushed some hair away from his brother’s face.

“Helping !”

Healer Blanc suddenly appeared by Wooyoung’s side - almost - startling him to death as he let out a shameful shriek. With a content smile, the healer walked to the chest of drawers situated against the wall behind Yunho.

“I have quite a lot of work these days, with all the second years fainting and complaining about _ tiny headaches _ ,” they continued while they rummaged through the drawers. They emphasized on the last two words of their sentence, their voice resonating in the spacious room and they threw a glance over their shoulders, looking at the pouty boy Wooyoung had noticed when he had entered the infirmary. The young student raised an eyebrow in their direction before his eyes widened and he whined dramatically, holding his head for good measure.

The healer scoffed, closing every drawer they had previously opened.

“Having two extra hands is pretty useful ! I would have preferred him to just come to offer his help like a normal human being rather than fainting and being bed-ridden for a whole day, but I won’t complain.”

Wait. What ?

“Seonghwa fainted ?” Wooyoung couldn’t help but ask, keeping his voice low. He certainly didn’t want Seonghwa to know Wooyoung was worried about him.

The healer nodded, three vials of some red liquid in their hands as they turned to look at Wooyoung. And Yunho, who had perked up at Seonghwa’s name.

“From magic exhaustion,” Healer Blanc explained. “But I’m only telling you that because I know you are friends, and I don’t want this to happen to his little brother as well. Keep an eye on him by the way, he seems to be following his brother’s steps.”

They stared at both of them one by one, right in the eyes and Wooyoung knew neither he nor Yunho would ever dare to disobey. Not that they wouldn’t listen to the healer anyway.

Once Healer Blanc seemed satisfied, they turned on their heels and walked to the whiny student who started whining again as soon as he saw the healer coming back.

“Stupid school putting so much pressure on its students,” Healer Blanc muttered.

And then they were gone.

Wooyoung eventually sat on the bed next to Jongho, the younger’s face still hidden behind his hands. His shoulders had started shaking a few minutes ago and as much as Wooyoung craved to hug him, he wasn’t sure Jongho would allow him to. He guessed his own brother would know what to do and seeing Yunho hadn't moved to console Jongho yet, Wooyoung figured he had been right to keep his hands to himself.

“What does he know ?” Wooyoung asked, nodding toward San's bed where Seonghwa was still sitting. 

Yunho shrugged. He didn't spare them a glance.

“Not much, I think. San told him he was tired and that I forced him to come for a checkup.”

“So San is still trying to hide it from him.”

Yunho nodded, his eyes falling to his feet. 

“I guess so. I don’t know what Seonghwa is hiding and San is keeping his own secrets thinking it will protect Hwa but honestly…” Yunho's eyes flickered to the two brothers, a frown creeping on his forehead. He shook his head and closed his eyes. “They’re just hurting each other.”

\-----

Healer Blanc had grown tired of having three extra bodies doing  _ nothing  _ in a corner of their infirmary and as soon as Jongho had stopped crying, they had pushed the three of them out of the room. Wooyoung had been a bit reluctant to leave, but one last glance at San's peaceful face told him his friend wouldn't wake up any time soon.

They would make sure to come back during their lunch break anyway.

Yunho and Jongho had waved Wooyoung goodbye a few minutes ago, their own classes on the other side of the castle, while Wooyoung took the stairs.

To his most pleasant surprise, his Herbology class hadn't started yet and he hurried to sit by Mingi's side, sending a reassuring smile to Yeosang when his best friend turned to look at him from the other corner of the room.

The smile was forced and anything but reassuring, but it was all Wooyoung could manage at the moment. Yeosang would be able to read right through him anyway.

Wooyoung could feel Mingi's expectant gaze on his face while he took a few white papers from his bag, letting them fall on the table without an ounce of care.

“Give me a pen and I'll tell you,” Wooyoung prompted once he was done rummaging through his bag and came to the frustrating conclusion that he had, once again, forgotten his pencil case in the dorm.

Mingi scoffed but was kind enough to lend him a blue pen without too much teasing. He put his elbow on the table, his chin in his palm. The expectant gaze was back.

“Now spill.”

Wooyoung didn’t have much choice but to comply.

He told him everything, from San’s state to Yunho’s words, trying to be as accurate as possible. Mingi's eyes opened wide when Wooyoung explained Healer Blanc hadn’t found anything suspicious during the checkup, and Wooyoung avoided looking at him for the rest of his explanation, painfully aware that the fear in Mingi's eyes was mirrored in his own.

The teacher entered the room and Wooyoung lowered his voice but kept talking, until he was sure everything had been told. He intentionally let aside the part where Jongho was crying and didn’t feel the need to talk about the young students he had seen this morning.

He wouldn’t have been able to add anything anyway, because Mingi cut him as soon as Wooyoung stopped to take a breath.

“I was there when Seonghwa fainted.”

“You- What ?!”

Wooyoung almost choked on air at Mingi’s sudden confession. One of their classmates went to the front of the room to talk to their teacher, unintentionally offering them more time to talk. 

Wooyoung knew his eyes were comically wide as he waited for Mingi to elaborate.

“Well, I didn't  _ see  _ him faint,” Mingi continued, “but Hongjoong, Jongho and I were the ones who found him. He was just... Lying on the floor in the middle of a hallway, completely unconscious. It was on Thursday, I think ? Way past curfew. We had been working on a project and forgot to look at the time."

Wooyoung frowned. “What was he doing there ?”

“I wish I knew.” Mingi shook his head, his own frown lingering on his forehead. "He was just there, completely out of it.”

“Does San know that ?”

Mingi pursed his lips as he usually did when he needed to concentrate.

Their classmate was done talking to their professor and after offering them a fake smile, she walked back to her seat behind Yeosang. The lesson would start soon.

“I don't think so,” Mingi eventually replied. “Hongjoong was really stressed about it all, I doubt he took the time to think about it properly yet. Seonghwa’s health is pretty bad these days.”

That would explain why Seonghwa had missed their ballet lesson last Saturday. Wooyoung had been surprised to see the dance room lacking its brightest star, but weirdly reassured. He had believed that Hongjoong had finally managed to make him rest for a bit.

He sighed, realizing that the opposite had probably happened, and Seonghwa had tired himself out doing who knew what with his magic.

His magic...

_ ‘Magic exhaustion’... _

“Sorry for not telling you sooner.” Mingi brought Wooyoung back to reality. “Jongho and I agreed on staying quiet about it, San has enough on his own shoulders and we didn't want to add any more stress to everyone.”

He sounded genuinely apologetic and Wooyoung couldn't help but smile at his adorable attempt to look sorry.

“You did the right thing Min. I just… It’s a lot, you know ?”

He ran a hand through his hair, almost feeling the way his thoughts were spiraling in his mind. Mingi gently patted his back.

“Yeah, I know.”

Their professor cleared his throat, announcing the start of today’s lesson.

\-----

Wooyoung had made a decision. After he had spent the whole day worrying over San and running to the infirmary between all of his lessons, only to see his friend still far away in dreamland, Wooyoung realized he  _ needed  _ to do something to give himself some peace of mind.

And there was only one thing he could do to help. Or try to help.

The night had fallen a while ago when Wooyoung took the stairs of the Soleil dorm two at a time, and crossed the shining hallway of the fourth floor panting. He lost a couple of minutes looking for the door he was searching for, but it allowed him to catch his breath.

He eventually found the good dorm room and was about to knock when a sudden thought crossed his mind, forcing him to stop in his tracks.

Was it a good idea ?

It couldn't possibly be  _ bad _ . But was it necessary ?

Was  _ he  _ necessary ?

He came here on a whim after searching for a way to help San, but would he truly be useful ? Fuck, he shouldn’t have been so impulsive and should have considered the idea more seriously before coming to the Soleil dorm. There was  _ no way _ he could actually be useful.

He would be nothing but a nuisance.

With a sigh, Wooyoung dropped his hand to his side. He had been stupid to even think he could help, especially considering-

The door opened abruptly, snapping Wooyoung out of his thoughts. A body almost crashed into his, but stopped right in time.

“Sorry ! I- Wooyoung ?”

Felix.

Wooyoung could easily recognize those freckles now that Jongho had joined their group of friends. Felix was usually the one who snatched Jongho away from them after lunch. Always with a blinding smile.

“Sorry, Jongho’s not here," the blond continued when Wooyoung didn’t say anything. “Did you need something ?”

He was keeping the door open with a hand on the doorknob, but Wooyoung easily noticed the bounce in his feet. Felix wanted to go out and Wooyoung was accidentally keeping him here.

He hastened to smile, not wanting to bother Jongho's friend any longer.

“Well, yeah actually. Do you know where I can find him ?”

“I do, but I don’t think you would be able to find him,” Felix answered with a giggle, the high-pitched sound strangely contrasting with his usual low voice. He closed the door behind him and offered Wooyoung a  _ giant  _ smile. “I’m heading back to the castle, I could show you where he’s working if you want ?”

This guy was precious.

Wooyoung nodded enthusiastically, hoping his warm smile could convey his gratitude.

“That would be great, yeah. Thank you Felix.” 

And that was how Wooyoung found himself crossing the gardens with a really cheerful Fifth Year by his side.

Felix was bouncing on his feet and gasping at every flower that was still not dead from the cold, his blinding smile never leaving his face. He looked happy. And he seemed happy to talk about the things that made him happy. A happy boy. 

He was also extremely talkative. 

“... and Changbin really wants to win this…  _ wrestling battle _ thing you guys are having," Felix explained as they reached the end of the gardens. Wooyoung wasn't sure how this conversation had started. "He's a bit stubborn sometimes and he said, and I quote,  _ Wooyoung has a ridiculous, tiny weak body _ …”

Rude.

“...  _ but he’s sly. _ ’ So he went to Chan for some advice and honestly I still don’t understand what happened but Chan broke Binnie’s arm and then we went to the infirmary and- oh right I saw your boyfriend there, I hope he’ll feel better soon ! Anyway, Chan was-”

Wait. Rewind.

“My  _ what  _ ?”

Felix stopped talking and glanced at Wooyoung with a confused pout.

“Your boyfriend ? San ?”

Oh, Merlin.

Heat climbed to his ears at the speed of light and he quickly looked away, fighting against the  _ stupid smile _ that was threatening to spread on his lips.

“H-he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh.” Felix simply said. Then, “Wait, really ?"

The confusion in his voice forced Wooyoung to look back at him, and he suppressed a laugh at the younger’s face. Felix was clearly not believing him, gazing at him as if Wooyoung was the one talking nonsense, and not the other way around.

“ _ Are you sure ? _ ” Felix continued. “Wow ! I really thought you guys were together, with how you look at each other and all, not that I observe you or anything, that would be weird, but Jongho keeps saying you guys are disgustingly cute together and that he wants to puke all the time and yeah he told me I should think before talking and he also told me I talk too much so I should probably stop now.”

There were approximately three seconds of awkward silence before Felix's face split into another blinding smile. He pointed to the left side of the castle.

“This way !” he shouted, not waiting for Wooyoung to follow as he rushed to climb the stairs. 

He stayed uncharastically silent for the rest of their walk and so did Wooyoung, still a bit too shaken by Felix's previous words.

_ 'With how you look at each other and all.' _

His ears flushed back red and he vividly shook his head. Now wasn't the time to think about that.

Felix led him to one of the castle’s towers, not much different from the one Wooyoung liked to hide in, but on the opposite side of the building. They walked past two closed doors on their way up, and Wooyoung almost crashed into Felix’s back when the Fifth Year stopped in front of a statue built in the wall.

It wasn’t anything fancy, just a bust of someone Wooyoung knew nothing about, placed on a marble base, but Felix’s gaze was stuck on it. He crouched down and motioned to Wooyoung to do the same while he took out his wand.

“Cover your ears please, it’s top-secret !”

Wooyoung, still completely lost, followed Felix’s words and put his fingers in his ears. He kept his gaze on Felix’s face, the younger apparently casting a spell, slightly moving his wand in front of the statue’s base. A few seconds later, there was a doorknob on it.

“Wh-” Wooyoung started, but Felix was already opening the newly discovered door and crawling in the dark tunnel that was behind, wand still in his hand.

“C’mon !”

Wooyoung hastened to follow. 

The tunnel was tight and dark, but it wasn’t long. Wooyoung heard Felix whispering  _ ‘Lumos’ _ , lightening the place with his wand and before he knew it, they were reaching the other end.

There was another door there, a normal-sized one, and Wooyoung let out a content sigh when he was allowed to stand back on his feet.

Felix knocked on the door four times, his smile shining even brighter - Wooyoung was honestly surprised it was possible - when he opened it despite the lack of answer from the other side.

“Jongjong, you’ve got a visitor !”

_ Jongjong _ .

The nickname was adorable, and Wooyoung would have cooed at it if he wasn’t suddenly struck by the realization he had followed Felix without taking the time to think, right after agreeing with himself that helping was  _ not  _ a good idea.

Felix was dangerous.

Defeated, Wooyoung took a step forward and entered the small room.

The first thing he noticed was the lack of windows. The second was the obvious contrast between this room and the rest of the castle.

There was no column here, no fancy ornaments circling the ceiling. The walls were covered with a flowered paper but Wooyoung couldn’t decipher its color in the darkness. A few candles were placed on the only table of the room, their faint light engulfing the place in a warm orangey tone.

It smelled like Yeosang’s forbidden attic, a combination of dust and melted wax.

A soft smile formed on Wooyoung’s lips. He liked this place.

Jongho was sitting at the table, a large cauldron in front of him. He didn’t seem surprised to see them entering, but Wooyoung could be wrong. The poor lighting made it hard for him to read the younger’s face.

Felix pushed Wooyoung forward and smoothly slid behind him.

“I'll leave you two alone then. Jongjong you know where to find me for our study session later !”

And after throwing another blinding smile in Wooyoung's face, he disappeared behind the door.

Now, Wooyoung had to find an excuse to explain his presence. Admitting that his first idea was to help with a potion was out of the question, the thought itself making Wooyoung cringe. He opened his mouth and was about to apologize for the trouble when Jongho patted the seat next to him, a small smile on his lips.

“Stop wondering if you're welcomed here and just sit,” he said, gaze falling back to the cauldron. He didn’t add anything and Wooyoung guessed he didn’t have much choice but to obey the younger. He skirted around the table and took a seat by Jongho’s side.

They stayed silent while Jongho worked, Wooyoung’s eyes fixated on the table.

It was surprisingly clean. Wooyoung was used to making a mess of ingredients when he worked with San, and San himself tended to put a bit of everything everywhere. Jongho seemed to be more careful. Every vial was closed, settled on the table in a neat row, the herbs were still in their pots. The potion smelled like strawberries, and something Wooyoung couldn’t quite decipher. Something warm.

The atmosphere was nice, Jongho’s presence was soothing and Wooyoung couldn’t deny he was glad he could spend some time alone with the Fifth Year but...

“I wanna help,” he blurted out when his thoughts became too much and he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I’m sorry I’m not… I’m not  _ good. _ Far from it even, and I’ll probably be a nuisance but… I really wanna help.”

He clenched his fists under the table, his heart hammering in his chest. He wasn’t regretting his sudden confession, but even if he knew he shouldn’t be here, he was scared Jongho would reject him. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to help.

He  _ needed  _ to help.

Jongho hummed, opening a vial and pouring two drops of black liquid in the cauldron.

“I figured. Don't worry about it though, I’ll give you instructions and it should be fine.”

Wooyoung let out a relieved breath. He would finally be able to do something, to be useful for San.

But it also meant Jongho knew. He knew Wooyoung wasn't good at Potions. Surprisingly, it didn't bother Wooyoung as much as it could have, maybe because it was  _ Jongho  _ and Wooyoung knew his friend wouldn't judge him. Jongho was a nice friend.

“It’s not San, by the way,” Jongho continued, putting the cork back on the vial. “Yeosang told me you had a hard time with Potion, not San. San is incapable of saying anything that is not praise when he’s talking about you. It’s tiring.”

Warmth spread through Wooyoung’s chest. San was praising him? How ? About what? And why did Jongho think it would be a good idea to tell it to Wooyoung ?

A dumb smile broke on Wooyoung's lips and he hid it behind his hand. 

“So Yeosang did tell you how much of a  _ disaster _ I am.”

Jongho chuckled, his shoulders shrinking cutely. “You know he didn’t say that.”

The smile grew bigger on Wooyoung’s lips, but he didn't hide it this time.

“Yeah. I do.”

A couple of minutes later, Wooyoung was happily crushing a Sopophorous bean with a silver knife, carefully collecting its juice in a ladle. Jongho continued to give him instructions throughout the night and Wooyoung followed them to the letter. The Fifth Year looked after the cauldron and dealt with the vials, something Wooyoung was definitely not confident with, while humming some songs Wooyoung didn’t recognize.

At some point, Jongho started to use complicated terms and the struggle must have been obvious on Wooyoung’s face, because the younger laughed cutely, apologizing before he started over, with simpler words. He explained that the potion they were currently making for San was a delicate blending of the  _ Wiggenweld Potion _ and the  _ Draught of Living Death _ . On top of being extremely difficult, the potion required some fermented ingredients, meaning they would need weeks to finish it and working on it every day was useless.

Knowing San would have to wait for so long was frustrating, but they didn't have any other choice. Wooyoung would work hard to make this potion a success. He swore to himself that he would listen to Jongho’s instruction to the best of his ability.

Then San would be able to sleep like any other student. Yunho, too.

When Jongho seemed satisfied with the green color of their potion, he stood up from his chair with a content smile.

“Don’t let it go to your head, but you did an excellent job,” he confessed, giving the potion a few final stirs. “I still don’t understand how San can spend his days praising you though. I could personally find a list of flaws you may have, he’s really not trying hard enough.”

Wooyoung grimaced, pouring the remains of a Spine of Lionfish in an empty jar.

“You’re spending way too much time with Yeosang.”

Jongho chuckled as he took the lid from the table to cover the cauldron.

“He's right though, teasing you is genuinely fun.”

Wooyoung murmured some words his mother wouldn’t be proud to hear, and it only made Jongho laugh louder. 

Wooyoung really needed to take him away from Yeosang, as fast as possible.

Jongho took the cauldron by its handle and brought it to one of the corners of the room, explaining that the next step of the potion would be to put all of Wooyoung’s work from today in the cauldron, but not before letting it cool down for a few days. He added a bunch of fancy words after that and Wooyoung unintentionally stopped listening. 

He missed San’s easy explanations.

He missed San.

“- and I have an exam tomorrow so I should go back to study now. Or rather, help Felix study.” Jongho giggled to himself as he hid the cauldron in a hole in the wall. He covered it with an empty shelf, pushing the massive piece of furniture effortlessly.

Right, the infamous fifth year exams. Wooyoung had struggled with them last year, but he had survived. Jongho was only starting them this year, and yet here he was, taking some of his precious time to work on a complicated, forbidden potion for his best friend.

“You’re an amazing friend,” Wooyoung heard himself say when Jongho came back to sit by his side. A warm smile spread on the younger's face.

“So are you, Wooyoung.”

  
  


**Wednesday 25, November**

Wooyoung had sneaked away from his friends after lunch, and climbed to his favorite place in the tower. He didn't know from what he was hiding exactly, or if he was hiding from something, but he needed the calm of his familiar balcony for a little while.

Life was a bit too overwhelming these days.

The news of another attack announced in the newspaper at breakfast had made his head spin for a couple of seconds, and he had felt out of it during all of his morning classes. He didn't know what to think of anything anymore. Everything was just…  _ Too much _ . He had managed to forget about these worrying news because San had occupied most of his thoughts lately, but now the apprehension was back and Wooyoung couldn't get rid of the feeling that  _ something _ wasn't right.

_ Le Cri de la Gargouille _ had briefly mentioned the possibility of Inferi being involved, but this attack sounded awfully similar to the previous one ; a rich Pureblood family, no trace of them anywhere, no witnesses on the scene but some people convinced they had seen  _ dead bodies _ running around…

Fear was starting to fill the hallways of their school. The majority of Beauxbatons students were Pureblood, and most of them were born in wealthy families. Even in their group of friends, Mingi was the only Muggleborn.

Anyone's family could be the next one to be attacked or abducted.

Their school could be a target too.

Wooyoung let out a sigh, bending down to put his head in his hands. He had settled on the sill of the balcony again, enjoying the peace. The sky was clear, but the wind was bitter. Wooyoung had used a Heating Charm for the first time ever since he had started hanging out with San. 

San. 

Another overwhelming topic. But this one always managed to make Wooyoung's heart do weird things at random moments.

Healer Blanc had come to the conclusion San needed to stay in bed for a whole week, as a precaution. San, true to himself, had complained and insisted that he was  _ fine _ , but the healer had been categorical. Even if they hadn't found anything weird about San's state, they didn't appreciate the blood loss and wanted to make sure San had fully recovered before sending him back to the normal pace of his school life.

San and Yunho, with the help of Yeosang's pretty words and innocent smiles, had managed to make Healer Blanc agree on letting Yunho sleep in the infirmary with San, explaining that he was having nightmares and needed his childhood friend by his side. It had eased Wooyoung's mind for a bit, allowing him to go to sleep without worrying as much as he would have if he knew San was spending his nights by himself.

What was  _ still  _ concerning though, was the uselessness of the potions Healer Blanc gave to San to help him sleep. According to Yunho, they weren’t working. Not even a bit.

Yunho still had to put a silencing spell on San's bed before going to sleep, and San would still wake up in the middle of the night, crying and nestling against Yunho.

They didn't know where they were supposed to search anymore.

Wooyoung had gone to the infirmary to spend time with San after breakfast this morning, and he had almost broken into tears at the sight of San’s sincere, beautiful smile. San was too good for this world.

They had cuddled and Wooyoung had kept San close, maybe too close, and his heart had been beating like crazy but he had learned to live with it. He just wanted to keep San safe. He wanted to see his smile and hear him laugh. He wanted to shower him with compliments, hold his hand and kiss his cheeks. 

Damn, Wooyoung really wanted to kiss his cheeks. Or press a kiss on his forehead, or the tip of his nose. One look at his pretty eyes and Wooyoung's barriers were falling down. The only thing keeping him sane was the little voice in his head reminding him that kissing San shouldn’t be the priority of his thoughts these days.

And the little voice was right. So Wooyoung held back.

The creaking sound of a door opening tore Wooyoung out of his thoughts and he threw a curious glance behind his shoulder, only to see his best friend closing the door behind him.

Yeosang crossed the room to join Wooyoung, shivering once he reached the balcony. Neither of them said anything as he threw a glance at the view under Wooyoung's feet, grimacing before he settled on the floor of the balcony instead, his back against the balustrade. He took out his wand and Wooyoung heard him mumbling some words, most likely a Heating Charm, then the wand was back into the pocket of his overpriced jacket.

“You’re sad,” Yeosang stated, settling his hands on his knees. “Tomorrow is your birthday. I don't want to see you sad on your birthday.”

Was Wooyoung sad ?

Maybe he was. He didn't know, honestly. He simply wanted to close his eyes and sleep, hoping things would go back to the way they were before.

When San wasn’t forced to smile.

“You can’t change anything Yeo.”

“I know.”

Silence followed Yeosang’s words, and Wooyoung slowly closed his eyes. He had climbed here to be alone, away from life and from people but somehow, Yeosang seemed to be the exception. No matter the situation, his presence always managed to calm Wooyoung down. Even with Yeosang sitting on the ground, keeping some distance between them, it felt like warmth was enveloping Wooyoung's shoulder and keeping his thoughts in one steady place.

“He’ll be okay Wooyoung,” Yeosang murmured and when Wooyoung looked down, he was met with a reassuring smile. 

His own lips curled up, albeit faintly, and he extended a hand to Yeosang, which his best friend naturally took and squeezed gently. Their position wasn't the most comfortable but neither of them seemed to mind, and they stayed like that for a couple of minutes, both going back to their own thoughts.

When Wooyoung's shoulder started to complain about the weird angle, he eventually let go of Yeosang's hand, not without squeezing it one last time. He was feeling better now, way better than he had felt since this hell of a week had started. Yeosang’s existence truly was a precious gift in his life.

As Wooyoung balanced his feet in the air, a sudden thought crossed his mind. 

“Hey, Sangie ?”

“Hm ?”

Wooyoung bit his lip. “I was just… Thinking. About things. Life… Stuff.”

Yeosang didn't say anything, so Wooyoung took it as his cue to continue. 

“And I was wondering… Like… You know. Maybe, sometimes… Well.”

“Sentences, Woo. You have to form them.”

Wooyoung groaned loudly. This wasn’t as easy as he had thought. He took a deep breath, determined to let it out. He really needed answers.

“You're not- You're not supposed to fall in love in like, two months, right ?”

He glanced at Yeosang just as his best friend was raising one of his unnecessarily intimidating eyebrows.

Ha.

“I meaaaan, you know.” Wooyoung really didn't want to meet Yeosang's eyes now. “People have crushes and then it turns into love, right ?”

"You do realize this is really random to ask me this right after the discussion we just had ?”

Yes, he was aware, and he was pretty sure Yeosang knew everything already, but talking was  _ hard _ .

“Just answer please, I’m having a life crisis right now.”

Yeosang scoffed and Wooyoung felt a sudden urge to punch his nose, but it quickly faded away as his best friend turned to look at him properly. He put a finger on his chin and seemed to be thinking for a couple of seconds, until his eyes were back on Wooyoung.

“Okay then. What if one person had been crushing on this other person for years, even without noticing they had a crush on said person ? And what if this other person had been crushing back ? If the two persons suddenly met and perfectly clicked, don't you think falling in love would be the logical consequence of this entire situation ? Time doesn’t have any importance in this case.”

Wooyoung blinked a few times. 

_ What _ ? 

“What ?”

Yeosang rolled his eyes, the hint of a smile on his lips.

“Don’t ask yourself questions that don’t need answers Woo,” he replied, standing up. “Just live. It’ll turn out fine, I'm sure of it.”

**Thursday 26, November**

To Wooyoung’s surprise, his day had been  _ amazing _ .

He hadn’t been expecting much, considering the strained atmosphere lingering on their group of friends these days, but it seemed like his birthday was relevant enough to give his friends some peace of mind for the day.

As soon as he had opened his eyes this morning, Wooyoung had been engulfed in a giant cuddle pile. He had been stuck at the bottom, Mingi, Changbin and Yeonjun happily suffocating him.

At breakfast, Jongho had linked their arms together and he had only let go to clap when Wooyoung’s cherry-flavored cake ended up on Mingi’s face. They had been forced out of the dining room for laughing too loudly, but none of them had seemed to mind.

San had been suspiciously awake during all of Wooyoung’s breaks, waiting for him on his bed with a bright smile. Wooyoung had ended up sandwiched between San and Yunho on the mattress, at least three times through the day.

Now that Wooyoung was back in his dorm room, he could feel his cheeks hurting from the blissful smile that had lingered on his face the whole day.

He was exhausted, but content.

It was past curfew and Changbin was already snoring on his bed. Yeonjun was still in the bathroom, cursing in a low voice while the sound of things falling kept disrupting the soothing atmosphere of the room.

Wooyoung was sprawled on his bed, flipping through one of the three biography books Yeosang had given to him today. Wooyoung was definitely not a bookworm, but he could read anything as long as it talked about ballet. His best friend had managed to find the perfect books for him and now Wooyoung looked just like him, reading on his bed in silence.

Fine, not  _ exactly  _ like him. Yeosang was sitting like a normal human being while Wooyoung’s legs were up against the wall, his head on Yeosang’s lap. One of the benefits of having pushed their beds together. The other one was to cuddle Yeosang every night.

A knock on their window interrupted Wooyoung in the middle of his reading. He raised an eyebrow.

“Did you hear that ?”

“Hear what ?” Yeosang asked and flipped a page of his own book.

Another knock.

“That !” Wooyoung straightened up, leaving his book on the mattress. “What the fuck, why would someone be on our balcony past curfew ?”

He  _ wasn’t  _ scared, but this was weird.

He threw a suspicious glance at the window and slowly backed away, until his back touched the wall.

“I'm not going. I'm too young to die, and way too pretty-”

“Wooyoung.”

“-besides, it's my birthday, I can’t die on my birthday. You should go, you know how to deal with people, I'm sure if someone wants to kill you they would think about it twice before actually doing it while I’m sure as hell they wouldn't-”

“Wooyoung,” Yeosang repeated, laughing. “It’s your last gift of the day. I promise no one is here to kill you.”

Wooyoung blinked in confusion. 

“What ?”

Yeosang rolled his eyes in response. He bent down until his head disappeared under the bed and when he straightened back up, it was to throw a piece of cloth at Wooyoung's face.

His red hoodie.

“Wear this,” Yeosang commanded, putting his book back on his lap. “And some shoes. Thank me later.”

When he noticed Wooyoung hadn’t moved, he offered him a reassuring smile. 

“Woo. Just trust me.”

Wooyoung didn’t need to hear more. He threw the hoodie over his head and jumped out of the bed, putting his shoes in a hurry. He had no idea what could possibly be on his balcony, but the way Yeosang kept trying - and failing - to hide his grin told him he would like it.

He opened the French window and took a step on the balcony, but stopped before he could go any further. Upon consideration, maybe it really was a killer. That would explain why Yeosang looked so enthusiastic, he would finally get rid of Wooyoung and steal his hoodies to wear them in secret and have his mom’s hugs for himself and-

All of his thoughts left at once. 

San. 

San was standing there, on Wooyoung’s balcony, wearing his usual dimpled smile and Jongho's black hoodie.

“What.. What are you doing here?” Wooyoung breathed out. He vaguely noticed the chilling air, but the joy of seeing San  _ standing  _ was enough to make him forget about everything else. He closed the door behind him and took a few steps forwards.

“I didn’t give you your present,” San answered, rushing to close the distance between them. Their hands instantly met, their fingers interlacing. 

“How did you get away ?” 

“I had some help,” San giggled, Wooyoung's heart instantly squeezing at the sound.

San looked beautiful tonight. Maybe it was the black hoodie, or maybe it was the way his eyes were shining with the dim light coming from Yeosang’s bedside lamp. Maybe Wooyoung was simply too far gone. 

San was beautiful all the time.

“Shit, I missed you,” Wooyoung breathed out and before he knew it, he was throwing his arms around San's shoulders and engulfing him in a hug.

San's hands quickly found their way around Wooyoung's waist. “I missed you too…” he whispered against Wooyoung's ear. “I missed you so much.”

It was silly, really. They had seen each other just a few hours before. They had cuddled at any given opportunity during the week. They had spent all of their free time together despite San being stuck in the infirmary...

But  _ this  _ was different. This was them. Finally alone, finally reunited.

This was what Wooyoung had missed.

“How are you feeling ?” Wooyoung murmured, nestling his face in San’s neck. He smiled when the familiar scent of roses and chamomile tickled his nose. There was something else too, a hint of vanilla that probably came from the infirmary. It was sweet and soothing. San was warm against him, and Wooyoung wanted to stay in his arms forever.

Life didn’t seem to agree though, because San slightly backed away, not enough to break their embrace, but enough to make Wooyoung pout at the loss of warmth.

“Let's not talk about me,” San said, his pretty eyes founding Wooyoung’s. “I know you're worried, but this is  _ your  _ day, Woo. This week has been hard for all of us and I just want today to be different for you… Please, just tonight…” He brought a hand to Wooyoung's face and with gentle fingers, tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “Just tonight... Let's pretend everything is fine.” The soft hand ended its route on Wooyoung’s cheek. “ _ Please _ .”

San said the last word in a breath, barely audible, but easily reaching Wooyoung’s attentive ears. Hope and fear blended in his eyes as he waited for Wooyoung to answer.

How could Wooyoung say no ?

“Okay…” He murmured, placing his own hand over San’s on his cheek.

San’s eyes opened wide. “Okay ?”

“Yeah, but just tonight,” Wooyoung added with a slight pout. “Then I’m back to worrying as soon as you move a finger.”

The soft giggle San gave him in response convinced Wooyoung he had made the right choice. He would continue to worry tomorrow. He would go back to his stressful thoughts later.

But not tonight.

“Thank you,” San whispered.

After a lingering look and some smiles, Wooyoung was back against San’s body, nuzzled into his warmth.

Wooyoung had no idea how much time had passed while he stayed in San’s arms, but when San broke their hug, Wooyoung let him go without pouting. He took the hand San was offering and followed him to one of the corners of the balcony.

“Ready to have your present ?” San asked before knocking three times on the railing.

Wooyoung frowned, confused by San’s gesture. He opened his mouth to talk but a violent gust of wind forced him to stop in his tracks and before he could comprehend the situation, a winged-horse appeared next to the balcony, flying a few meters away from them.

Crescent.

“San, what the hell,” Wooyoung managed to say as his heart sped up.

San didn’t answer. He giggled though, and without any warning, he let go of Wooyoung’s hand and climbed on the railing.

“Hurry before we get caught ! Yeosang promised he would cover for me but  _ still _ .” He leaped into the void and Crescent caught his fall effortlessly. San stroked the horse’s mane to thank him, before he extended both of his arms toward Wooyoung with a smile.

“Trust me.”

Wooyoung couldn’t deny anything to this smile.

Just as he had trusted Yeosang a few minutes ago, he saw himself jumping from the balcony, putting his trust in San and leaving all of his doubts behind.

His landing was smoother than he had expected. With a bubble of excitement growing in his chest, he settled behind San and wrapped his arms around his thin waist. 

“Ready ?” San asked above his shoulder.

Wooyoung hadn’t taken the time to ask himself this question yet.

“I've never flown so high before.”

The giggle he received in response wasn’t reassuring, but Wooyoung wasn’t scared. He trusted San, and he trusted Crescent. He knew he didn’t have any reason to worry.

So Crescent started to fly.

Wooyoung instinctively closed his eyes and he gripped San's hoodie with a gasp. The wind slapped his face violently and Wooyoung could feel the air getting colder and colder as they sped up, urging him to tighten his hold around San.

A soft hand settled on his.

“Woo, it's okay. You’re safe. Don’t close your eyes.”

San’s words flew with the wind, but Wooyoung was close enough to catch them. The faint feeling of San’s fingers brushing against his skin gave him the courage he needed and he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Slowly, he fluttered his eyes open.

His heart quivered at the sight.

They were flying. They really were flying.

They were drifting above the gardens, flying past the flowerbeds, meeting the fireflies dancing around them in the air.

The wind was harsh against his face and his ears were whistling but  _ they were flying _ .

Wooyoung’s eyes widened when they reached the castle, his breath taken away when Crescent gained altitude and started flying above the building. They were high in the sky now, higher than Wooyoung had ever been in his life. They spun around every tower of the castle and Wooyoung chuckled when they passed in front of his favorite balcony. The memory of the last words he shared with Yeosang here crossed his mind and with a blissful smile, he brought San closer.

They left the castle then, and flew above the fields. Wooyoung’s stomach lurched in anticipation when Crescent went higher and higher until they disappeared into the clouds. The view was disorienting but it didn’t last long and when they reached the other side, Wooyoung’s heart missed a beat.

They were above the clouds. They were flying above the clouds, in an ocean of stars.

“San…”

The words stayed stuck in Wooyoung’s throat. It was as if everything had stopped around them. The flapping of Crescent’s wings slowed down until he was simply floating in the sky, the moon was shining, bathing the clouds in its bluish light. Even the wind seemed to quiet down for a bit, allowing Wooyoung to take in the moment. He welled up, an overwhelming feeling spreading in his chest.

He was  _ flying _ .

He was free.

The tears fell, but he didn’t brush them away. They flew with the air currents and Wooyoung started to laugh, and San laughed with him, and the wet traces on Wooyoung’s cheeks were freezing but everything around him felt  _ so warm _ . San’s hands against his skin, his body against him, the feelings in Wooyoung’s heart…

Warm.

Crescent flapped his wings again and they started to go down. They passed through the clouds again, leaving the bright light of the moon to fly above the white mountains. Then Crescent brought them to the lake, the water sparkling under them.

Wooyoung knew he would never be able to forget this moment. He would cherish this memory forever, keeping it close to his heart and reminding himself of the overwhelming joy he had felt as they flew through the diverse landscapes nature had painted for them tonight.

He settled his chin on San's shoulder when Crescent seemed to slow down, coming back to the fields. San leaned against Wooyoung’s chest and slid his fingers between Wooyoung’s, the intimate gesture putting a warm smile on Wooyoung’s lips.

Maybe Crescent could feel now wasn’t the time to stop, because he halted in his descent to fly above the forest instead, allowing San and Wooyoung to simply enjoy each other’s warmth as the wind messed with their hair.

“Thank you,” Wooyoung murmured against San’s ear.

There were so many more words he wanted to say. So many things he wanted to thank San for. But Wooyoung knew he wouldn't be able to let the words out, not tonight. So he squeezed San’s hands instead, content with the warmth of his body pressed against his chest.

Crescent eventually stopped flying in a circle and slowly went down, until his hoofs touched the grass of a flower field. The cold weather was preventing flowers from growing and the fields were now a big stretch of grass around the castle, but Wooyoung loved it just as much.

San and Wooyoung jumped to the ground, leaving Crescent to run and fly freely for a bit. They sat on the grass but quickly ended up lying down instead, both on one elbow to face each other. The moon was disappearing behind the white clouds every few seconds and its light was faint, but it was just enough for them. 

They started talking, about Yunho’s interesting ways to deal with the calmness of the infirmary, about this annoying second year who kept complaining about his non-existent headaches. About Felix and Jongho, about Mingi’s new obsession for singing out of tune. 

They kept getting closer and closer as they talked, and Wooyoung didn’t know how or when, but San’s hand was on his waist now.

“I think I want to become an auror, like my parents,” San confessed, his eyes glistening under the white light of the moon.

“It suits you. I think you’d be an amazing one,” Wooyoung answered sincerely, sharing San’s smile. “My father wants me to work in the Ministry or something.”

San scrunched his nose in disgust, making Wooyoung laugh.

“Yeah, it’s not… It’s totally not for me, right ?”

The hand on Wooyoung’s waist slowly slid to his shoulder.

San shrugged. “Depends. What do  _ you  _ want ?”

What did he want ?

Wooyoug was suddenly taken aback by the question. He hadn’t really thought about it. Or maybe he had, but his father’s wishes were always put first in his thoughts. Thinking about his own dreams hadn’t crossed his mind long enough for him to have a proper answer to this question.

What did he want ?

What did he  _ really  _ want…

He shook his head. “I don't know.”

“It's fine,” San murmured, his hand sliding to Wooyoung’s cheek. “It’s okay to not know.” Then to his forehead. He brushed some strands away from Wooyoung's face, and tugged a lock behind his ears.

Was his hair getting longer ? Or was San suddenly captivated by it these days ?

San’s fingers disappeared in Wooyoung’s hair and they both smiled but didn’t say anything when Wooyoung moved closer. San played with Wooyoung’s strands for a while before his hand came back to Wooyoung’s face. His fingers brushed against Wooyoung's cheek, burning his skin at the touch. Their eyes never left each other’s while San explored Wooyoung’s face with the tip of his fingers. His nose, his chin, his jaw. Every inch of skin San touched left a trail of warmth behind. Wooyoung’s chest was burning.

“You’re beautiful,” San breathed out, cupping Wooyoung’s cheek again.

His eyes fell, slowly, and Wooyoung’s heart stopped when San’s gaze ended on his lips. San gulped, his eyes flickering back to Wooyoung’s.

“Wooyoung…”

Back to his lips.

Wooyoung’s heart started beating again, but it galloped in his chest, threatening to burst out.

“Wooyoung…” San repeated.

He moved closer and Wooyoung instinctively did too, enthralled by the pretty eyes staring back at him, the burning touch against his cheek, the overwhelming smell of roses and chamomile, and San was  _ so close _ now, their breath starting to blend together and Wooyoung’s head was spinning and-

Crescent neighed next to them.

As if a switch had been turned off, San abruptly moved back and let go of Wooyoung’s cheek, leaving him cold and disoriented.

Fucking-

Wooyoung was so fucking _tired_ of horses and _birds_ and fucking _life_ disrupting them _all the fucking time_ !

His frustration must have shown on his face because San burst out laughing as he stood up. He had the nerve to smirk when Wooyoung frowned in his direction, and seemed to brush aside the fact that  _ they were about to kiss _ , extending a hand toward him.

“We should go back. I’m not sure Yunho would be able to fall asleep knowing I’m still out there.”

Then the soft smile was back and Yeosang would laugh at him if he ever knew, but Wooyoung couldn’t refuse anything to San when he was looking at him with those eyes. He sighed and took the offering hand.

The trip back to Wooyoung’s dorm was silent, but Wooyoung’s thoughts were loud. He couldn’t stop thinking about their almost kiss. Couldn’t stop thinking about the way San had looked at him, how calm Wooyoung had felt despite the frantic pacing of his heart, how  _ right _ everything had seemed.

He had tried so hard to keep himself from thinking about San’s lips for the past few weeks, but life was cruel and now he would have to live with the memory of San’s warm breath against his face, about to  _ kiss him _ .

Wooyoung whined against San’s back and San, because he was a traitor and enjoyed Wooyoung’s misery, giggled loudly as they reached the balcony.

Once back on the ground, Wooyoung forced himself to push his frustrated thoughts aside to focus on San. There was no light coming from his dorm anymore, and something stung in Wooyoung’s chest when he realized that their night had to come to an end, that the joy he had felt today would be gone tomorrow. San would go back to the infirmary, maybe he would have another painful vision in a few hours, and Wooyoung would be powerless again, bound to watch from afar without being able to help… 

“Hey. Tonight was real, Wooyoung,” San broke the silence, taking one of Wooyoung’s hands in his. “It’s not because we pretended everything was fine that the rest wasn’t real. I just know you’re already thinking about tomorrow and what’s going to happen next. Stop pouting.”

He laughed and poked Wooyoung’s nose. Wooyoung hadn’t even noticed he had started pouting.

“It’ll be okay Woo. We’ll be okay.”

He squeezed Wooyoung’s hand and Wooyoung's pout slowly morphed into a small smile.

San was right. They couldn’t know what would happen in the future, so why focus on that ? They had created memories tonight, happy ones, and that was what mattered the most.

“Thank you,” Wooyoung eventually said. “For tonight, and for everything, really. Don’t tell Yeosang, but this was the best birthday gift I had in years.”

“Don’t tell Yeosang, but I’m really happy to hear that,” San giggled. He gave Wooyoung’s hand another squeeze. “I'll see you tomorrow ?" 

Wooyoung’s mood dropped again. He didn’t want to end this night. He didn’t want San to leave.

“Yeah,” he murmured reluctantly.

“Okay.”

“Okay…”

None of them moved.

They both knew they had to part ways. Crescent was waiting for San above the dorm, Yunho was waiting for him too, maybe Yeosang was waiting for Wooyoung.

Yet they stayed there, staring at each other with soft smiles and starry eyes.

Until San moved. Wooyoung wasn’t sure what he was doing, so he stayed put as San took a step forward, coming close.

Soft lips pressed against Wooyoung’s cheek.

“Happy birthday Wooyoung,” San breathed out.

He let go of Wooyoung’s hand and turned away. Three knocks on the balustrade and a gust of wind later, San was disappearing into the night.

It took a considerable amount of time for Wooyoung to eventually find the will to move again. He entered his dorm room in a daze, his fingers feathering against his cheek.

San had kissed him. San had kissed his cheek.

Wooyoung wanted to scream at how  _ happy  _ he felt.

Screw the norms, screw Wooyoung’s doubts. Yeosang had been right. Time didn’t matter, not for them.

Wooyoung was irrevocably in love with this boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to inform you that I changed the rating of this fic (as a precaution) and added a few tags !  
> Thank you for reading 🖤


	17. December : Week 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year ! I wish you all the best for 2021, may this year be a bit nicer than the previous one ;_;
> 
> Ok here we go :  
> \- Monday 30  
> \- Wednesday 2  
> \- Thursday 3  
> \- Saturday 5
> 
> Enjoy !

**_???_ **

_ The cells again. _

_ Unless this time, San was behind the bars.  _

_ The darkness surrounding him was thicker than the one he had been forced to walk into, back in the hallway. He hadn't cried and he hadn't screamed this time, maybe because he knew he couldn't fight against his vision. It didn't make it any better though. The room gave him an unpleasant feeling of suffocating and he could feel a wave of fear running down his spine, crawling in his stomach and tormenting his mind. He was cold. _

_ He hated this place. _

_ He was curled up on the ground in the middle of a cell, engulfed in darkness. The faint light coming from the hallway allowed San to distinguish a bed pushed against the wall, and a pair of shoes neatly settled in front of it. Nothing else. _

_ On the other side of the hallway was another cell, just as dark, occupied by a man who kept swearing in a low voice. San had heard a woman singing in another cell too. _

_ He didn’t want to stay here. _

_ He was aware of his visions now. He could tell this wasn’t real, or at least not for him. He had learned to stay calm despite the cold crawling in his neck, to simply sit back and watch, enduring his growing fear of the dark. _

_ He was in a woman’s body this time. An elderly woman. His hands were frail and wrinkled, blemished by life. They kept trembling as he tugged a long strand of white hair behind his ear. _

_ His heart stung. Why was an elderly woman sitting in a place like this ? What was going to happen to her ?  _

_ A door opened in the distance. A beam of light illuminated the hallway for a couple of seconds before the sound of the door closing resonated against the walls. The darkness was back, but with it came a little boy, slowly passing in front of San’s cell. _

_ “Hi, I made some cookies,” the little boy said, his face blurred to San’s eyes. He was wearing nice clothes, all white, immaculate. A perfect contrast with the dark wall around him. _

_ He took two cookies out of the white box he had bought with him and gave them to the man in the cell across from San’s. The man grumbled some profanities but took the offered biscuits. The little boy continued his route, giving two cookies to the woman in the next cell. _

_ “I'm sorry, I'm not really good at cooking but I swear they are edible. I had some help today.” _

_ He gave three cookies to San. _

_ “Why are you even trying to be nice ?” The man suddenly shouted, startling both San and the little boy. “You know damn too well we won’t get out of here alive ! Go back to your life of spoiled rotten child and leave us the fuck alone !” _

_ He violently kicked the bar of his cell and screamed another insult, before he turned around and disappeared into the darkness. _

_ San’s blood was boiling. The little boy had lowered his head, clutching his box against his chest. San was still unable to see his face, but he could easily guess how hurtful the man’s words had been for the little boy. _

_ “I’m sorry…” he murmured, tightening his hold around the box. His knuckles were already turning white. _

_ “What's your name?” San heard himself say through his quavering voice. _

_ The hold around the box visibly softened. The little boy kept his head low as San waited for an answer. _

_ But it never came. The little boy stayed quiet, his blurry face hidden behind his dark fringe. _

_ The silence became suffocating. It grew as time passed, blended with the darkness surrounding San. It weighed on his mind and crawled into his thoughts, telling him he had to remember, to open his eyes, to think. As if the answer was in the darkness, as if San was supposed to know the name. _

_ Like a soft breeze in a fog of questions, the little boy talked again. _

_ “It's better if we don't talk,” he murmured, but his voice trembled. _

_ He was crying. _

_ “I’m sorry. I don't want this. I  _ hate _ this.” _

_ The empty box fell, hitting the ground with a bang but the little boy didn't seem to care. He fell on his knees and sobbed, silent tears dropping on his white pants. _

_ “I’m sure it’s not your fault,” the other woman reassured, her voice a soothing caress on San’s clenched heart. "You gave us cookies. Bad people don't make cookies for strangers.” _

_ The little boy vividly shook his head. _

_ “I’ll hurt you soon. I always hurt people. They make me hurt people.” _

_ His voice was strained, tired. San's heart ached at the sight of this boy holding so much on his shoulders. He was  _ just a kid _. These were real tears, created by real pain. _

_ What was happening here for this boy to be so hurt ? _

_ “Why do you listen to them ? Why don't you run away?” the woman asked.  _

_ The little boy sniffled, trying to hold his sobs. It worked, for a tiny bit of time. _

_ “Because I need to protect him,” he breathed out. “I need to keep him safe.” _

_ “Him ?” _

_ Two knocks resonated in the hallway. The little boy gasped and quickly took the box back in his arms. _

_ “I have to go,” he whispered in a hurry. “I’ll try to bake again tomorrow. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” _

_ He ignored the woman calling after him and rushed into the darkness, his sniffles disappearing in the hallway. The sound of a door opening was heard again, followed by another beam of light. _

_ Then there was nothing. _

  
  


**Monday 30, November**

“-and then he fell in the water and dad grounded him for a week.” Jongho’s eyes twinkled as he chuckled. A tint of pink colored his cheeks, remnants of his previous enthusiasm to tell his story.

They were back in the hidden room Felix had unveiled to Wooyoung a week ago. This time, Wooyoung had been careful to ask Jongho beforehand if he could join him for the potion once again, and the younger had accepted his offer with a warm smile. They had left the dining room as soon as their friends were done eating dessert, ditching them with as much discretion as possible. They didn’t have any reason to hide from their friends, the potion wasn’t a secret - although Wooyoung helping might be one - but they had giggled like two kids playing hide and seek as they ran to the tower.

Spending time with Jongho was the breath of fresh air Wooyoung didn’t know he had needed. He had wished to have some time alone with the younger, to get to know him better and strengthen their friendship, but he had been waiting for the best opportunity to come. Now that it was there, Wooyoung was  _ ecstatic _ .

Jongho wasn't like Yunho, or Mingi. He liked to face his problems head-on, not caring if he would be hurt in the process, not asking himself questions that would stop him from going forward. He was brave and strong. Bold and tough.

He was everything Wooyoug wasn’t.

And that was one of the many reasons why Wooyoung loved these hours spent with him.

Here, in the darkness of their secret room, lightened by the soft glimmer of the candles, Wooyoung could talk. He could voice his fears and share his worries about San without fearing for his friends’ reactions, without feeling like he was constantly walking on eggshells. Jongho was always here to listen, sometimes nodding, sometimes softly patting Wooyoung on the shoulder. It was comforting.

And just as Wooyoung needed to talk about San in the intimacy of this room, Jongho needed to talk about Seonghwa. 

“Thank you,” Jongho said once he seemed to be done with his story. This one had been particularly amusing and Wooyoung had laughed throughout the entire explanation of how a seven years old Yunho had attached San to a branch above a river to see if golden fish would eat his feet. According to Jongho’s stories, all of Yunho and San's ideas ended up pretty badly and Seonghwa would be either exhausted or beyond mad at them. Jongho would usually be a mere bystander.

“It really helps to just… talk,” Jongho continued. “I miss him, but I can't talk about that to San and Yunho… They don't experience it as I do.”

He took a pinch of powdered Root of Asphodel Wooyoung had carefully kept on his palm and dusted some on the potion. 

“San still feels guilty Seonghwa didn’t turn his back to him too, and Yunho doesn’t want to talk about him at all. But  _ I _ need to. All these years we spent together, all these memories we have… I don’t want to erase them. They’re important to me.”

Jongho offered him a sheepish smile and Wooyoung hastened to give him a reassuring one in return. He hoped Jongho knew he could talk to him anytime, about anything. Wooyoung loved the way stars seemed to shine brighter in the younger's eyes every time he mentioned his childhood memories. He wished they could appear more often.

He wished things were different.

“Unrelated but the way you’re cutting the ingredients is absolutely perfect today,” Jongho suddenly added, and Wooyoung's ears flushed red at the compliment.

Jongho didn’t do flattery. Just like Yeosang, he was straightforward and honest. Maybe a bit too much sometimes, but San was usually there to smooth the rough edges. Wooyoung knew he had improved in Potions, but not as far as cutting ingredients perfectly. The fact that Jongho, of all people, was the one complimenting him made Wooyoung’s toes curl in pride.

Jongho cast a water-heating spell on the cauldron and once the potion started to boil, he turned on his chair to face Wooyoung.

“Let’s move to a more interesting subject,” he said with a sly grin. “Please ask San to the Christmas Ball.”

It took a moment for Wooyoung to comprehend Jongho’s words.

He blinked once, twice.

When the words finally sank in, his eyes opened wide, his ears swiftly heating up.

“I- what ?!” he shouted, his voice embarrassingly squeaky. “You talked to Yeosang.”

Wooyoung wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement, but Jongho’s chuckles were enough of a response either way.

“I did ! About what ? You’ll never know,” the younger laughed. “I helped Hongjoong with the Christmas Ball playlist and San stuck around. He  _ loves _ waltzes. He kept dancing by himself while we worked.”

Wooyoung could see where this was going.

“A little bird told me you were good at any kind of dance and I know for a fact that your life goal is to make San happy these days so…”

“So you want me to waltz with San, got it,” Wooyoung ended for him. He purposely ignored the ‘life goal’ part, a flush already climbing on the back of his neck. “Is it the only reason ?” 

“Of course not,” Jongho chuckled. “I did talk with Yeosang after all.”

His smirk was so smug Wooyoung almost felt the need to punch it out of his face. Jongho had clearly spent too much time with Yeosang, and now he was completely corrupted.

Upon consideration, maybe Jongho had corrupted Yeosang as well. The demons.

“You're  _ both  _ insufferable,” Wooyoung answered, rolling his eyes and taking an empty glass to clean the remnants of the powdered Root of Asphodel he had left on the table - and on his palm. He might have improved his way of cutting ingredients, but his cleaning skills were still disastrous. Not that he cared.

“You love us.”

Wooyoung couldn't fight against the fond smile growing on his lips.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “I really do.”

  
  


**Wednesday 2, December**

San was  _ bouncing  _ today.

After the week he had spent confined in the infirmary, life seemed to agree he needed a break and became lenient for a little while. The dark ocean of fears surrounding San's life calmed down, the loud waves slowly softening to become a gentle murmur.

None of San’s recent visions had been painful, offering some well-deserved sleep to both he and Yunho. Besides being painless, the visions were also clearer now and San was positive he would be able to grab some information from them soon.

In the middle of the unknown, hope was blooming again.

Seonghwa was getting better too or at least, it seemed so. The dark circles under his eyes had faded day after day and Wooyoung hadn’t felt the disturbing need to look away in fear of Seonghwa missing a landing and falling on the floor during their lesson this morning. Their professor hadn’t even tried to hide his relief, but Wooyoung couldn’t blame him. The Christmas Show was just around the corner now, and having their first role in good form was primordial.

The sight of Seonghwa dancing properly after weeks of him trembling and quietly suffering soothed Wooyoung’s mind. He had missed Seonghwa dancing.

So maybe it was the culmination of all these good news that created the ball of joy and excitement that San was today. The ray of sun San had been a few weeks after they had met for the first time, brightening Wooyoung's life with smiles and gentle laughs.

As per usual, they were cuddled against each other on their white blanket, eating the picnic San had wrapped for them. The temperature was still dropping as days passed and as none of them seemed fond of Heating Charms when they were together, they had thrown a thick blanket over their shoulders to stay warm. San had started wiggling happily against Wooyoung’s arm a while ago, the gentle sound of wind brushing against the foliage blending perfectly with San's voice, humming one of the songs Mingi and Jongho seemed to be working on these days. Wooyoung knew he was grinning like an idiot just  _ thinking  _ about the way San’s cheeks filled with food, or how soft he looked with his pink nose.

But as adorable as it was, Wooyoung had missed his mouth three times already because  _ someone _ kept knocking his elbow accidentally. When a piece of chicken fell on his lap, he eventually gave up.

“Sannie, what’s gotten into you today ?”

The wiggling stopped. San turned his head so swiftly Wooyoung got scared for his neck, but the bright smile on San’s lips told him he hadn’t been hurt. The two little crescent moons were back on his face, sparkling with glee and lighting up the whole place.

“I’ll do it today !” he shouted.

He put his blue box on the blanket and Wooyoung’s eyes widened when he realized San had already finished his lunch. This boy could turn into a fucking  _ vacuum  _ when he was eager to do something.

“Do what ?”

San stood up, the hint of his warmth already fading under the blanket.

“The patronus, Woo !”

Oh, right. The patronus. That was why they were here in the first place, to help San with his patronus. Not to admire San’s dimples and enjoy the warmth of his body.

Yeah, maybe Wooyoung was a bit salty San wasn’t cuddled against him anymore.

It took around three seconds for San to get into position a few meters away, wand in hand. Wooyoung put his lunch aside and straightened up to look at him.

He had seen San doing this same routine a dozen times already, but he would never get tired of watching him. The way his shoulders seemed to relax as he closed his eyes, the sudden silence surrounding them. The graceful movement of his wrist and the anticipation tickling Wooyoung’s stomach.

The words “ _ Expecto Patronum _ ” passing San’s lips and the blinding beam of light coming out of his wand.

Except this time, it wasn’t just a beam of light.

“Wooyoung…” San breathed out. “Wooyoung, I did it…”

A thin wisp of silver was escaping San’s wand, tracing a path in the air and getting thicker and thicker as it approached the forest… Wooyoung followed its path with his gaze, eyes widening when it came to its destination.

Here stood a lynx made of light, floating between the trees and leaving a trail of sparkles behind.

“A lynx…” Wooyoung murmured, forgetting the lack of warmth and finally standing up to take a proper look at San’s newly casted patronus.

It suited him so well.

Wooyoung had spent hours theorizing about the form San’s patronus could take, about the animal that suited him the best, only to come to the conclusion that he simply couldn’t guess. San was unique. Special. He was a shy daffodil glowing in the middle of a daisy field. The only thing Wooyoung could guess was that San wouldn’t have a common patronus, because he was  _ San _ .

And just like he saw the daffodil in the daisy field, Wooyoung couldn't help but notice the only daisy lacking its petals. He frowned, keeping his eyes on the lynx.

He remembered the first time he had conjured his own patronus ; the little hare had run everywhere around him, bouncing at his sides and bringing all the attention to itself. He thought it was a patronus thing, to happily invade its owner’s space and show them it was there, ready to protect.

But maybe he had been wrong. San's patronus seemed to be keeping its distance. He stayed behind the trees, almost immobile, gazing at San with caution.

Maybe he was shy. Could a patronus be shy ?

“Wooyoung !”

Wooyoung’s gaze snapped back to San, his question dying in his mind.

“I did it !” San jumped up and down, a dazzling smile on his lips. There was a spark in his eyes, like a child who had just opened the Christmas gift he had been waiting for for so long.

San was no child, and it wasn't Christmas yet, but he had been waiting for this day too.

Overwhelmed by a rush of fondness, Wooyoung ran to San and slid his arms around him.

“You did it !” he cheered, lifting San off the ground and spinning him around. San giggled above him, the sound softer than the blanket Wooyoung had kept around his shoulders.

“I did it ! I'm so happy !”

Wooyoung put him back on the ground and San put his wand into the pocket of his white jacket, his patronus fading in the air. San’s arms found their way around Wooyoung’s neck, bringing their bodies closer.

“Thank you so much. It’s all thanks to you.”

Warmth was back. Wooyoung hid a smile in the crook of San’s neck. “ _ You  _ did it San, not me. And I’m so, so proud of you...”

The ray of sunshine he hadn't seen for weeks was finally able to peek through the clouds. San looked happy. 

Happiness looked good on San, dripping on his smile, sparkling in his eyes and piercing through Wooyoung's heart.

He was made to be happy.

“Does that mean we stop here ?” Wooyoung dared asking, slightly backing away and looking up to meet San’s eyes.

He wondered if the hope that crept inside him was visible in his gaze. He didn’t want to stop. He wasn’t ready to let go of these afternoons he could spend with San, of their picnics, their laughs, the calm of the lake and the familiarity of their blanket. 

San scratched the back of his head, looking away. “I guess we could but… I’m not so good at it yet. Maybe we should continue for a little while.” He glanced at Wooyoung with a hesitant smile. “Just to be sure ?”

A little spark of hope lighted in Wooyoung's chest. He knew. They both knew San didn’t need more sessions. They both knew what San was trying to do.

And maybe San knew Wooyoung’s answer too, because his smile brightened before the words even passed Wooyoung’s lips.

“Okay.” Wooyoung smiled, his heart tickling in his chest. “Just to be sure.”

  
  


**Thursday 3, December**

San dashed in the dining room at breakfast. He ran so fast his feet didn’t allow him to slow down in time and if it wasn’t for Jongho’s strong arms stopping him, he would have crashed into the table. He plopped down on the chair next to his best friend with pink cheeks and a smile that was way too bright considering the hour.

Yunho arrived a couple of seconds later, breathing as if he had just run all the way from the dorms. Maybe he had.

“I caught a name !” San shouted, bouncing on his chair. “I caught a n-”

Wooyoung had to suppress a laugh when Jongho pressed a glass of water against San’s lips, cutting him in the middle of his sentence. San’s eyes widened comically but he quickly got the hint and emptied the glass at the speed of light.

“Okay, now talk,” Jongho said once the glass was put back on the table.

“I caught a name !” San repeated. “The people wearing white in my visions. They call themselves ‘ _ Oracles of Caliroesis _ ’. I couldn’t catch much more, I’m sorry, but it’s a start ! I think ?”

He tilted his head to the side, looking at all of them expectantly. He was visibly waiting for an answer, but time had stopped around Wooyoung, the weight of San’s words flooding his mind.

They had a name. They had a fucking name.

Something tangible, something they could research about.

“Holy shit,” Yeosang breathed out, once again voicing Wooyoung’s thoughts. “That’s much more than a start San, it’s the base of everything we need !”

“He’s right this is like, our first clue ever,” Yunho added. He had managed to catch his breath and had gladly accepted the slice of bread and jam Mingi had prepared for him. “Now we can do some research and hopefully we’ll find what’s going on.”

He winked at San and like a sunflower would open toward the sun, San's smile brightened looking at his friend. 

Wooyoung felt a sudden urge to shower him with love and cuddles but he knew now wasn't the appropriate time. He settled for ruffling San’s hair instead.

“Good job Sannie,” he murmured next to his ear.

He would never get tired of the fond smile San gave him in response.

They eventually went back to their breakfast, mostly because Jongho threatened San with a spoon of cereals and they would need to go to class soon. San gave them some details about his vision and how he came to hear the name - he had simply overheard a conversation that didn't seem too interesting, until the name was brought up - and after another threatening spoon against his lips, he agreed on eating without too much talking.

“When do we start ?” Mingi asked once they were all - minus San - done eating.

Wooyoung hastened to answer.

“As soon as possible.”

His response was followed by three heads nodding and a quiet “cool” coming from Jongho. Comically, they all turned to Yeosang. 

“We should split up,” Yeosang suggested, unbothered by the sudden attention. “Half of us can search it up on the internet, see if it’s linked to Muggles or something. The others will go to the library.”

Another round of nods.

“We’ll find something San,” Yeosang continued, locking eyes with their friend. “We’ll  _ definitely _ find something.”

  
  


**Saturday 5, December**

It had been hours since Wooyoung had entered the library with Yeosang but despite the weird looks his best friend kept throwing at him, he couldn’t stop staring at the framed poster displayed on the wall in front of him.

The painting was stunning. Just like the Halloween one, it portrayed the Beauxbatons castle with pretty colors and skilled brushstrokes. This time though, the building was covered with white, splashes of light blue and grey blending together to create a veil of coldness on the piece. Snowflakes had been magically animated, floating everywhere around the castle and causing Wooyoung to shiver.

It felt like cold mornings and harsh winds.

It felt like winter.

If knowing the poster had been made by San wasn’t enough of a reminder, the big ‘ _ Christmas Ball’ _ written at the bottom of the painting seemed to be staring back at Wooyoung, forcing him to acknowledge the thoughts that had been tormenting his mind the whole week.

He wanted to ask San to the Christmas Ball.

And it was Jongho’s fault, really. At least at first. He had planted the idea in Wooyoung’s mind and like a green plant bathed in sunlight and well-watered, it grew, grew and grew, creating branches everywhere until he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Asking people to the Christmas ball was definitely  _ not  _ a Beauxbatons thing. The idea existed, but that was it.

People would go and dance with their friends, waltz with their classmates, walk on their foot by accident and never talk to them again. They would eat fancy appetizers and refined verrines. The Christmas Ball was the most Beauxbatons-ish event the school could offer and most of its students had spent their childhood attending these kinds of parties. It was all about elegance, luxury and sophistication.

It wasn’t an event for dates and crushes.

Wooyoung knew that, he knew that  _ too damn well _ and he could almost see the disappointed look on his father’s face if he ever knew his son’s thoughts were filled with the will to ask a pretty boy out. But Wooyoung couldn’t stop himself. The idea of going to the Christmas Ball with San as his partner for the night made his insides burn with so much anticipation he started daydreaming about it.

He imagined himself standing in the middle of the decorated dining room, the boy he loved secured against him and his giggles softly stroking his ears as they turned, spun, danced with wide smiles on their faces. San would look at him with sparkles in his eyes and Wooyoung would fall for him all over again...

If only he was brave enough to ask.

“These are the last ones,” came Yeosang voice on his right and a second later, a pile of books was thrown on the table, making Wooyoung jump. Yeosang took the seat next to him with a frustrated sigh. “I don't think we'll find anything today either.”

Right, they came to the library for a reason. Wooyoung could daydream about San’s pretty smile later. He shook his head to put his thoughts back in place and frowned at the pile of books in front of him, trying to focus on Yeosang’s words.

So far, their research hadn’t been as fruitful as they had hoped.

After three days of investigation, they had only found the biography of  _ Caliroesis _ , a woman born a hundred years ago. She was a Pureblood, married a Muggle who then got killed a few years later. She may have become the leader of a dark magic organization but the text Yeosang had found never mentioned its name, so it didn't seem too important.

Yeosang had closed the book with an umpteenth sigh.

According to Mingi, they hadn’t found anything on the internet either. Although ending their research with nothing was frustrating, it meant that whatever this 'Caliroesis' thing was, it came from the Wizarding World and wasn't related to Muggles. It wasn’t much, but it narrowed their research field by half.

They still didn’t know if the organization was real though, and if the people in San’s head had existed and were still alive, or if everything was created by his imagination.

“I can’t read anymore, I never studied that much. What is San making me do ?” Mingi, who had been sitting in the seat across from Wooyoung, complained as he closed a thick book, collapsing against the back of his chair. He stretched his long legs under the table and his knee bumped against Wooyoung’s but neither of them seemed to mind.

“Why are you here anyway ?” Yeosang asked, keeping his eyes on the book he had opened a few seconds ago. “Aren’t you the Muggle-born of this group ? Why are you team books ?”

Mingi scoffed. He crossed his arms against his chest and raised an eyebrow.

“First of all, the teams aren't equitable. You both wanted an excuse to be together for a while because this man right here,” he pointed an accusing finger at Wooyoung, “spends all of his time with a certain blond. Secondly, I’m in both teams because I’m an amazing friend.”

Wooyoung snorted while Yeosang rolled his eyes.

“Just admit  _ you  _ want to spend more time with Woo, it’s not that hard.”

Mingi didn’t admit anything, but his pout talked on his behalf. It made Wooyoung laugh again and with a heart full of sudden affection for his friend, he extended a hand above the table to pat Mingi’s head.

“Sorry. I’ll make sure to spend more time with you too, princess.”

And just like that, Mingi’s smile was back on his face.

Yeosang flipped a page of his book and they were back in their bubble of silence, except this time, both Mingi and Wooyoung had stopped searching. A couple of minutes later, they shared a lazy look as Yeosang worked and both of them snickered behind their hand, for no apparent reason. Nothing surprising, as Wooyoung usually laughed with Mingi for the dumbest things, or for nothing at all, but at least it kept them entertained.

Half an hour had passed before Yeosang eventually gave up too, putting the book back on the pile with a sigh. A tired one this time.

“If there’s nothing on the internet, what are brothers-ho and San even doing ?”

Mingi, who had taken advantage of the silence to finish his night, didn’t bother to open his eyes and simply shrugged. 

“Fighting over who gets to hug San first I guess.”

Oh, lucky assholes. Wooyoung hadn't cuddled with San since  _ Wednesday  _ and he wasn’t even embarrassed by the fact that he was craving for more touch, more hugs, more San these days. Ever since their almost-kiss, it had become difficult for Wooyoung to remain impassive around him. He knew, they  _ both _ knew that something was bound to happen between them. They just didn’t know when. Or how.

And now Jongho and Yunho were cuddling with San and  _ not Wooyoung _ .

“Serious question though,” Yeosang continued, stopping Wooyoung right in time before he could complain like a petulant child out loud. "Should we talk about all of that to someone ? A professor, or maybe Healer Blanc ?”

Mingi shook his head. He opened his eyes and straightened on his chair to look at them with a serious expression.

“I actually talked with San about that. He told me he would rather keep it between us, at least for now. He’s a bit scared of what we could find so he would prefer to wait until we have more clues.”

Another sigh from Yeosang.

Wooyoung stayed silent. He had seen this one coming, but he didn't know what to think of it. Was it really a good idea, to keep everything to themselves ? A part of him, the rational one which sounded suspiciously like Yeosang, told him talking to a higher figure would be wiser, but there was also something in Wooyoung that kept him from doing so.

This feeling that something wasn't right.

At least now he didn't have to wonder anymore. If San wanted them to stay quiet, then they would stay quiet.

“We’re on our own then,” he murmured. He received a nod, and a quiet affirmation in response.

A few beats passed before Yeosang broke the silence again.

“Let’s go to the restricted area,” he declared, hands flat against the surface of the table.

Wooyoung's eyes widened when the words caught his brain. Mingi must have had the same expression, because Yeosang scoffed, rolling his eyes again.

“Not  _ now _ . But soon. We’re already facing a wall right now, obviously we won't find much more here but we can't give up yet. I’m not saying we should open forbidden books and all, but we might find something in the archives.”

It made sense. The library existed for students, gathering any book they could need during their school years, from historic manuals to adventure novels. Honestly, Wooyoung wasn’t too surprised they hadn’t been able to find anything despite the hours they had spent searching here.

The restricted area, however, could be a goldmine for them. Professors were the only people allowed to enter, mostly because a couple of old, fragile books were kept in there, as well as some forbidden ones - because what kind of school would Beauxbatons be without a few forbidden books ?

More importantly, the restricted area was the room where the archives were stored. They weren’t forbidden, but the lack of space in the library forced their school to put them here instead, preventing students from looking at them.

Every issue of  _ Le Cri de la Gargouille _ , from years and years ago.

That was what they needed. 

“Okay, I’m in.”

Mingi’s reaction was immediate. His eyebrows perked up so high they disappeared behind his brown fringe, his eyes widening as he looked at Wooyoung. 

“Are you serious ?!”

Wooyoung shrugged. He knew entering a forbidden place would probably be their biggest breach so far and he didn’t want to think about the consequences if they happened to get caught, but nothing seemed important enough to change his mind.

They needed to do it, and Wooyoung would follow Yeosang anywhere.

His determination must have been painted on his face, because Mingi shook his head in disbelief, settling back against his chair.

“I hate you guys so much,” he said without any spite. A timid smile curled on his lips. “Count me in.”

“I fucking knew you would say that.” Wooyoung laughed, high-fiving Mingi. For once, Yeosang didn't roll his eyes.

An excessive amount of finger guns and winks later, he eventually got tired of them.

“We'll talk about it to the others later then,” he said, standing up. He took the pile of books back into his arms. “I promised Yeonjun I would help him with Herbology so I need to go. I’ll see you later.”

He turned on his heels and disappeared into one of the aisles. Mingi and Wooyoung blinked, looking at each other.

Well, at least they wouldn’t have to put the books away by themselves. They had no idea where Yeosang had found them.

“Hey, could we go pet Fée ?” Mingi asked with pleading eyes.

Wooyoung couldn't help but smile. He poked Mingi's cheek, already getting up. 

“You know the way to a man's heart. Let's go.”

He heard Mingi chuckling while they both bent down to take their bag and before they left the library for good, Wooyoung threw one last glance at the poster.

Yeah. He really needed to ask San to the Christmas Ball.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading !


	18. December : Week 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ! Here is a new chapter, which was supposed to be 5k and ended up with 8k ? I have no idea how it happened, but here it is !
> 
> \- Tuesday 8  
> \- Thursday 10  
> \- Saturday 12
> 
> Enjoy 🖤

**Three years ago**

_ “When did you fall in love with Hongjoong ?” San asked on a cloudy afternoon, when his brother decided to keep him company in the greenhouse. _

_ Seonghwa was sitting in his usual wooden chair, in front of the workbench. Judging by the not-so-discreet smiles continuously dancing on his lips, he was most likely writing a letter to his beloved. _

_ He tore his eyes away from the paper to look at San who was watering his plants a few meters away. _

_ “I don’t know,” Seonghwa's voice carried through the usually silent greenhouse. Birds were chirping behind the glass windows, and the distant sound coming from the bamboo water fountain San had placed by the entrance was soothing. He loved this place when he was alone, but Seonghwa's calm presence added a lot to the peaceful atmosphere. He brought warmth, familiarity. _

_ “I guess it happened progressively,” Seonghwa continued, tapping his chin with his pen, eyes on the ceiling. "One day I woke up and I thought ‘Ah. I’m in love with him.’ Then I couldn’t live without telling him.” _

_ San smiled, moving to the next plant. _

_ “And he said he loved you back.” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “You two are really cute.” _

_ San heard a few mumbles behind him and could easily imagine the flush climbing on his brother's cheeks. He threw a curious glance behind his shoulder and yeah, Seonghwa was definitely blushing. He noticed San's smirk and tried to hide the blush behind his hands, but the harm had been done. San burst out laughing, enjoying how easy it was to embarrass his brother.  _

_ “Shut up,” Seonghwa muttered, looking away. It only made San laugh louder, tears tickling the corner of his eyes. Seonghwa blushed harder. _

_ After he threatened to throw his pencil at San’s face and San almost beheaded one of his plants by accident, silence settled back, the two brothers going back to their respective tasks. _

_ Once San was done with the green plants, he blew them a kiss and walked to the flowers section. He smiled when their scent instantly reached his nose, appeasing him. Softly, he brought a hand to the forget-me-not in front of him and brushed his fingers against its blue petals.  _

_ “Do you think I can fall in love too, someday ?” he asked quietly. _

_ He didn't turn to see if Seonghwa had heard him, keeping his eyes on the flower. _

_ These blue petals were so pretty. _

_ Something tugged in San’s heart at the sight. _

_ “Of course you can,” Seonghwa answered. “I hope you will, it’s a wonderful feeling. It hurts sometimes, but it’s worth all the pain.” _

_ He paused, most likely to smile dreamingly at his own words. San felt the urge to roll his eyes, but a fond smile curled on his lips instead. Knowing Seonghwa had found his happiness in Hongjoong would always fill San’s chest with warmth. He loved his brother. And he loved Hongjoong. Life couldn’t offer San a better gift than making his brother smile. _

_ He jolted in surprise when Seonghwa appeared by his side. _

_ “It’s also fine if you don't,” Seonghwa murmured with a comforting smile. “People don't have to fall in love to live happily.” _

_ He slid an arm around San's shoulders and pulled him into a side hug, his gaze on the blue flowers in front of them. _

_ “I just hope you’ll find someone who will take care of you when I won’t be able to. Someone who will dry your tears and hug you, who will take your hand and reassure you. Someone who will help you grow and smile at life.” _

_ He pressed a soft kiss against San's temple.  _

_ “Whether you fall in love or not doesn't matter. As long as this person stays by your side, you'll be fine.” _

**Tuesday 8, December**

Working on random potions under San’s supervision was weird.

After the many hours he had spent observing Jongho as he worked, Wooyoung had forgotten he was supposed to make an entire potion by himself during his tutoring sessions with San. The progress he had made with Jongho was useful, but he still lacked the confidence to do it all on his own.

Thankfully, San was always here to prevent him from making irreparable mistakes, and the potions he made him work on weren’t too complicated or dangerous. Just enough for Wooyoung to be able to finish it, with a bit of a challenge so it wouldn't be boring either. San was definitely the best professor Wooyoung had ever had.

A small smile crept on Wooyoung’s lips as he stirred his potion.

Green. Just like the one he was making with Jongho.

According to the Fifth Year, they would only need a few more hours of work before the potion would be officially done. It meant San and Yunho would finally get the sleep they both deserved, but it would also mark the end of his nights spent with Jongho. As relieved as Wooyoung was for his friends, he couldn’t help the tiny pang of disappointment at the thought.

He didn’t even get to cuddle with Jongho yet.

“You're spacing out.”

He saw the smirk on San’s face before he felt his fingers flickering his forehead, the sudden pain making him shriek and let go of his stirring stick. It rolled on the table and fell on the floor with a thud.

Wooyoung rubbed his hand against his forehead, a pout on his lips.

“It hurts,” he complained, but San didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. He giggled and stood up from his chair next to Wooyoung, taking two jars and a vial of ingredients Wooyoung wouldn’t need to finalize his potion.

“Distracted students are  _ not  _ welcomed in my class,” he stated, a hint of tease in his voice.

Wooyoug scoffed, catching San’s smirk before his friend turned on his heels to go to the reserve.

“I’m your favorite student though,” Wooyoung mumbled, adding two drops of Lethe River Water in the caldron.

The green potion turned orange and according to the book San had previously opened wide on the table, Wooyoung was doing well so far.

“Hey, should I crush the Standard Ingredient before or after adding the Mistletoe Berries ?” he asked after picking up the stirring tool from the floor.

He turned around when he didn’t receive any response.

“San ?”

Still no answer.

Wooyoung frowned. The door of the reserve was not fully closed and it wasn’t that far, San should be able to hear him from there.

The distant sound of an alarm rang in Wooyoung’s mind.

Something wasn't right.

He put the stirring tool back on the table and decided to go to the reserve, each step closer to the tiny room making his heart rate speed up with growing concern.

Carefully, Wooyoung pushed the door open, poking his head inside.

“Sannie ?”

As soon as his eyes fell on San’s trembling frame, his friend collapsed, the three glasses of ingredients he had been holding shattering on the floor.

“San !”

Wooyoung’s body reacted before he could think. He rushed to San’s side, careful enough to avoid the sharp glass on the floor but walking on the spreading liquid of the vial without an ounce of care. He had used this ingredient a few minutes ago, at least he knew it wouldn't do him any harm. 

With the constant sound of his worried heart pounding in his ear, Wooyoung crouched down in front of San and cupped his face, trying to meet his eyes.

“Sannie, what’s wrong ? Are you hurt ? What happened ?”

“T-the glass,” San whispered, lips quivering. “You’ll get hurt.”

“No, no Sannie, it’s fine.”

Wooyoung let go of San’s cheeks for a bit, long enough to push the broken glass away with his feet. He let out a few profanities while doing so, silently cursing himself for leaving his wand – and San’s – on their desk.

After double-checking if the tiny piece of floor Wooyoung had cleared was clean enough, he sat on his heels in front of San.

“See ? I’m okay.” He gently took San’s trembling hands in his, brushing a thumb over the soft skin. “Could you tell me what happened ? Is it hurting somewhere ?”

San slightly shook his head. His gaze dropped to his lap.

“No ?” Wooyoung gave San’s hand a light squeeze, silently asking him to carry on, but San stayed completely immobile, except for the constant shaking of his body. “You’re not hurt ?”

No answer. The alarms in Wooyoung’s mind rang again, fueling his blood with worry. He slightly backed away, still aware of the broken glass only a few centimeters behind him, but he  _ needed _ to see if San was hurt. He let go of San’s hands and squatted down. 

There wasn’t any cut on the sleeves of San’s uniform. His face wasn’t hurt either. After a glance at San’s neck, Wooyoung inspected his ankles, his legs, any place glass could have reached during the fall. He seemed okay.

“I’m sorry.”

Wooyoung’s head snapped back to San’s face. “Huh ?”

“I’m sorry,” San repeated. His gaze was still on his lap, avoiding Wooyoung’s eyes. He sniffled, and Wooyoung’s heart seemed to crash down when San suddenly choked on air, bringing a hand to his mouth to cough against his palm.

Blood.

_ A nosebleed. _

“Sannie…”

Wooyoung reached out to cup San’s cheek but San caught his wrist, stopping him in the middle of his movement. He forced Wooyoung’s hand down and brought his own to his face but instead of covering his nose, he hid his eyes behind his forearm, allowing the blood to flow freely. With horror, Wooyoung watched it drip on San’s lips, run along his chin, his neck, dripping on his uniform…

And suddenly, blood didn’t seem too important anymore. Because San wasn’t just bleeding.

He was  _ crying _ .

He was crying, still hiding behind his arm, gritting his teeth as tears rolled on his cheeks and joined the flow of blood falling on his lap.

“Sannie,” Wooyoung whispered. He wished he could say more to comfort San, but he couldn't trust his voice right now. Not when it felt like someone was squeezing his heart and tossing it against a wall. Tears were already pricking the corner of his eyes.

He gently took San’s arm with his free hand and tried to tug on it but San held tight, stubbornly staying in this position.

“San  _ please _ , let me help you.” He sounded desperate, the trembling in his voice matching the tremor of San’s hand, but he couldn’t think of the right words to say for San to listen. Tears and blood kept flowing and Wooyoung needed to do something, he needed to  _ help _ , but San was being difficult.

“N-no…” San breathed out. His arm fell from his eyes to his nose, where he vividly rubbed the blood away with his sleeve. Red was now smudged on his cheeks, quickly washed away by tears. “You’re always helping and I’m- I’m always a  _ mess,”  _ he sobbed. “I’m sorry…”

No.

Wooyoung couldn't just sit and watch as San fell apart in front of him. He had had enough.

Ignoring his friend's attempt to stop him again, Wooyoung pushed San’s arm away to cup his face.

“Stop that now,” Wooyoung ordered, voice surprisingly steady. San’s eyes opened wide, finally meeting Wooyoung’s. “You are  _ not  _ a mess and you don’t have anything to apologize for. You’re  _ bleeding _ San. Just let me help.”

He didn’t wait for San’s answer and pulled on his own sleeve to bring it higher on his hand, before reaching for San’s face and patting the cloth under his nose. To Wooyoung’s relief, the nosebleed seemed to be stopping. 

Once he was sure no more blood would flow, he used his other sleeve to clean San’s chin, his lips and his neck of any remaining wet blood. He grimaced when he saw the state of his uniform but seeing the red liquid away from San’s face was worth the dirty clothes. He carried on with his task and wiped the nasty drops on San’s hands.

“Here, all clean !”

That was a massive lie, but it was all he could manage for now. He would use a cleaning spell on both his sleeves and San’s face once they would go back to the desk anyway.

He rolled his sleeves up so the remnant of blood wouldn’t disturb him as he cupped San’s face again, this time to brush the tears away from his cheeks.

San was looking at him in silence, sniffling every now and then.

Until he smiled.

Then, he let out a small giggle.

As cute as it could sound, it was a bit creepy.

“What is it ?” Wooyoung asked carefully, his hands coming back to his lap. He took San’s hands a couple of seconds later though, because it felt weird not to hold him.

San’s smile grew wider as he interlaced their fingers.

“Nothing, sorry it’s just…” Another giggle. Another tear on his cheek. “I’m just remembering something Hwa told me some years ago.”

“Funny enough to laugh through tears ?”

The sound San let out was a weird mix between a chuckle and a sob, but at least his eyes were smiling. Something soft flashed in them for a split second, too fast for Wooyoung to decipher it, but real enough to illuminate San’s entire face.

“I guess so,” he squeezed Wooyoung’s hand. The sudden fondness on his face made Wooyoung forget about the dry traces of blood lingering on San’s chin.

He looked okay. He was safe.

“Thank you, Wooyoung. For everything.”

**Thursday 10, December**

Finally. 

They were finally going to the restricted area.

Wooyoung had been antsy the entire week, waiting for this day to come, and it only worsened after San’s sudden nosebleed in the reserve. He had managed to stay calm and composed in front of San while they had cleaned up the mess of broken glass on the floor but the truth was, Wooyoung had been purely and utterly  _ terrified _ . The sight of San collapsing and blood running down his neck had kept him awake for long hours last night, and San hadn’t even been in pain this time.

How would he have reacted if he had lived what Yunho had to witness ?

How would Yunho be able to sleep properly if it ever happened again ?

This couldn’t go on like that. They needed answers, and they needed them  _ now _ .

But having answers sounded as terrifying as knowing nothing. They had no idea what they would find tonight. This trip to the restricted area they had planned seemed like putting a foot in a tunnel with no light, unable to see the end but knowing the only way was forward, because there was nothing behind anymore.

As Wooyoung walked by Yeosang’s side in the dark hallways of the castle, he really felt like entering this endless tunnel. A lump had formed in his throat and he knew it wouldn’t leave until this entire expedition was done.

They had all come to the general agreement that they needed to go in the middle of the night. Wooyoung had broken the curfew rules in the dorm and even outside multiple times, but he wasn’t used to wandering in the castle at night. Mingi and Jongho were experienced though, because of the many nights they had spent too immersed in their song-making with Hongjoong. According to them, the caretaker, Mme. Daniel, never started her rounds before midnight, but professors would still be wandering in the hallways for a few hours after curfew.

Going in the middle of the night meant they would only need to hide from Mme. Daniel.

It was two in the morning when Yeosang and Wooyoung stopped in front of the library doors. They had decided to come bit by bit to lower their chances of being caught, and Wooyoung already regretted sneaking out with his best friend. Yeosang had been enthusiastic, smiling during their whole walk through the gardens,  _ almost _ with a spring in his steps.

Wooyoung had never been so relieved to see Mingi’s panicked expression. Yunho was here too, frantically biting his lips. These were the reasonable reactions to have considering what they were about to do or discover.

Yeosang was just a weird human being.

“Hey,” San greeted with a little wave, tearing Wooyoung’s thoughts away from Yeosang’s creepy demeanor.

With the white light coming from Mingi and Jongho’s wands, Wooyoung noticed the concerned look on San’s face. There was a crease between his eyebrows, the corner of his lips twitching as if he was trying to smile but couldn’t find the energy to do so. Wooyoung took his hand, needing the comforting touch as much as he wanted to reassure San.

“Should we go ?” Yunho asked, nodding toward the door.

Yeosang already had a hand on the doorknob, but San stopped him from going any further.

“Before we go ! I just… I want to thank you guys for going through all of this for me. It means a lot and your help is truly a gift. I'll find a way to repay you, I'll ta-”

“There's no such thing as repaying us,” Yeosang cut him. He let go of the doorknob and took a few steps forwards to put a hand on San's shoulder. “We're  _ friends _ San. That's what friends do. They help each other, not to have something in exchange, but because they care.”

He gave a gentle squeeze to San’s shoulder and offered him a soft smile. 

He received a dimpled one in return.

“Let’s go.”

Wooyoung took a deep breath, sweat prickling lightly on his neck. He was suddenly really thankful Yeosang was here with them tonight, despite the creepy smiles. Yeosang was straightforward, direct. He never allowed stress to take the better of him and always moved as soon as he needed to.

It wasn't a surprise then, when Wooyoung found himself crossing the library behind his best friend, without even realizing he had entered the room in the first place. It wasn’t a surprise either, when they reached the small door leading to the restricted room, and Yeosang opened it with two words whispered and a small wave of his wand. The door opened with a creak, and Yeosang took no time to disappear into the next room.

No one knew how he got the password and as always, no one felt the need to ask.

Once they were all inside the room, the weight of their presence here suddenly sank in. Wooyoung swallowed the lump in his throat with difficulty, sensing the way his entire body seemed to tense now that they were  _ in _ the forbidden area. San might have felt it too, as his hold around Wooyoung’s hand tightened.

“Close the door behind you," Yeosang ordered, already walking inside the room.

The restricted area was an exact copy of the library, minus the tables to study. It was smaller too, since there weren’t as many books here, but the number of aisles was still overwhelming. Even Yeosang seemed a bit taken aback, hesitating every two aisles with a frown. The crease was eventually replaced by a delighted smile, and he turned, disappearing behind a succession of bookshelves.

The archives section. The aisle was a bit wider, allowing them all to stand there without the place getting cramped, the light of Mingi and Jongho’s wand enough to illuminate the whole area. The bookshelves weren’t filled with books but with binders, neatly organized by dates, a hundred of different years written on the shelves.

Every single edition of  _ Le Cri de la Gargouille _ was kept here.

The secret of ‘Caliroesis’ might be hidden here too.

Jongho silently slid both of his arms around Wooyoung’s and San stood closer. The lump in Wooyoung’s throat wouldn’t go away anytime soon.

“Where are we supposed to start?" Yunho was the first one to break the silence, observing the shelves and brushing his fingers against the binders.

The grin Yeosang gave him was both reassuring and terrifying.

“I got the perfect spell for this.”

He took out his wand, a heavy silence settling in the room. He moved his wrist downward once, twice, then whispered : “ _ Verbos Illuminos _ ,  _ Caliroesis _ ”

Bit by bit, the place started to be illuminated by more lights, the space above their heads slowly filling with… words ?

Wooyoung frowned, looking up. Yeah, there were words forming above their heads, in a bluish light.

But not just any word.

‘Caliroesis’

Wooyoung gasped in awe when he understood what Yeosang had just done. A string of light was attached to each word and when Wooyoung’s gaze followed the path of one of them, he realized that each string was bound to a binder, most likely the ones in which the word ‘Caliroesis’ appeared. Some were attached to old binders, the ones that kept  _ Le Cri de la Gargouille _ ’s issues from nine years ago, some were connected to the most recent ones...

But then it hit him.

‘Caliroesis’ existed. People had talked about it and it had reached the news.

‘Caliroesis’ was  _ real _ .

Yeosang's face fell at the same time Wooyoung’s lips parted in shock.

“Fucking hell,” Yeosang breathed out, running a hand through his hair. He turned round with wide eyes, staring at the words glowing above their heads. “Why are there so many of them ?”

His question stayed in the air, floating between the flying letters and echoing in Wooyoung’s mind.

Why ? How ?

Where should they even start ? What were they about to find ?

“I… I heard a name last night, I think.”

San.

Wooyoung gulped as San let go of his hand to take a few steps forward, stopping by Yeosang’s side.

“Could you search ‘Anna’ too ?”

A name. Jongho’s hold around Wooyoung’s arm tightened as Yeosang nodded slowly, visibly still shaken up by their discovery. He moved his wand again, this time adding ‘Anna’ to his incantation.

The words above their heads disappeared, all but four, with the word ‘Anna’ glowing under each of them.

“Four articles…” Yeosang murmured. Then he seemed to wake up. “Four articles ! We need to read them !”

He rushed to the binder on his right and Mingi hastened to do the same. Yunho opened the third one and Jongho let go of Wooyoung’s arm to take the second newspaper coming from Yunho's binder.

Wooyoung simply blinked, his feet stuck to the floor and his heart beating too fast for comfort, but San came back to his side and interlaced their fingers, preventing him from losing it completely. Both of their palms were sweaty.

“I might have the oldest one,” Yunho stated after glancing at the newspapers Jongho and Mingi’s had in their hands. The glowing words above them had disappeared. “It’s from nine years ago.”

“Okay, read it please,” Yeosang prompted. He sat on the floor and Wooyoung knew it wasn’t out of fatigue.

Yeosang was scared. Overwhelmed.

They all were.

Wooyoung took no time to mirror his best friend, pulling San with him. The others sat too, and all heads turned toward Yunho.

“Okay. Okay, hum.”

He took a deep breath. Wooyoung’s stomach clutched in fear.

“The search of the missing ‘grandma Anna’ is finally over.

According to the aurors working on the case of Anna Marchon, the 78 years old woman had been found and safely brought home.

Anna Marchon had been reported missing two months ago, after her neighbor started to worry as she hadn’t heard from her friend in a week. After investigating Mme. Marchon’s house, a large sum of money had been found on the table of the kitchen.

This morning, a couple found ‘grandma Anna’ walking alone and seemingly lost in the woods, about twenty kilometers away from her village. Mme. Marchon doesn’t remember anything ever since she had left the house to meet her grandchildren, five months ago.

A new case had been opened, as the word ‘Caliroesis’ had been found magically written on her palm.”

Yunho paused. He glanced at San, then Yeosang, before his gaze dropped on his lap. He closed the newspaper with trembling hands and put it on the floor.

“That’s it,” he murmured.

Wooyoung could hear his own heartbeat in the silence that followed Yunho's words. Fear throbbed inside him, as he tried to understand what this could mean.

A missing woman. An unknown word on her palm. Money on her kitchen’s table…

What in the world was going on ?

“I just read mine,” Jongho dared speaking over the thick layer of fear spreading around them. His newspaper was open in front of him, placed on the floor. “It happened two months after Anna had been found. It’s about a certain David Dante, his story is just like Anna’s, except for the word on the palm. There wasn’t anything there. He was found completely lost, far from his home with no memory of what had happened. Caliroesis is mentioned in the article because his story is similar to Anna’s, with the money on the kitchen table and all.”

“I- Mine is slightly different,” Mingi murmured, unsure. He was biting his nails, staring at the article in front of him. “The man in this article, Gaetan Corbin… He had gone missing around the same time as Anna, and there was a big amount of money on his kitchen table too. He hadn’t been found though, at least not when this newspaper came out.”

As soon as he was done talking, his nails were back against his teeth. He clearly needed a hug, but Wooyoung was too frightened to move.

“My article is more recent,” Yeosang started before a fearful silence could settle again. “It’s… It’s stating Anna’s death. She expired from old age four years ago. It’s just a short article without much information, only recalling her weird disappearance story.”

No one dared to say anything. So Yeosang continued :

“San.”

Wooyoung felt San tensing next to him. Yeosang’s gaze was calculating, glinting with a desire to  _ know _ , to understand. He was searching for something on San’s face, his brow furrowing as seconds passed. San’s hold around Wooyoung’s hand tightened.

“Was it the first time you heard someone’s name in a vision ?”

San let out a silent breath at Yeosang’s question. His shoulders visibly relaxed, as well as his hand in Wooyoung’s. He nodded.

“It was. Or at least, the first one I could remember.”

“So these guys… David Dante and Gaetan Corbin. They don’t ring any bells ?”

San shook his head. Yeosang’s frown deepened.

“What if…” Mingi intervened. He was still staring at the article in his newspaper, still biting his nails. His frown mirrored Yeosang’s. “Anna, or the other people in your visions… What if they’re trying to send you a message ? Trying to tell you something or- or warning you ?” He paused, then vividly shook his head. “Sorry, that was dumb, I’m just really scared right now please forget I said anything.”

“No wait, it makes sense.” Mingi’s head snapped back up to look at Yeosang, and so did all of his friends. The frown was still on Yeosang’s forehead. “When we searched for the word ‘Caliroesis’, there weren’t any strings attached to the binders older than the one Yunho took. It means ‘Caliroesis’ started appearing nine years ago. Obviously, we still have a lot of reading to do but we can already conclude Anna Marchon was the very first person mentioned along ‘Caliroesis’. It was the most important name we needed to start searching, and it’s the only one San heard. As crazy or weird as it sounds, it can’t just be a coincidence.”

The hairs on the back of Wooyoung’s neck slowly stood up. He took a shuddering breath, carefully meeting Yeosang’s eyes.

“So you think… San’s visions are actually  _ talking  _ to him ? To us ?”

Without breaking eye contact, Yeosang put his elbow on his knee and curled a strand of golden hair around his finger.

“They might be, yeah.”

The hold around Wooyoung’s hand tightened again, silence following Yeosang’s words. One glance at San’s face told Wooyoung they were all overwhelmed by the new information, trying to let the discovery sink in. San’s lips were parted but no sound was coming out, his eyes empty of any emotion staring down at the floor. When he eventually clasped his lips shut, his jaw clenched for a second, before his entire face fell. If Wooyoung had to use a word to describe San’s expression, he would say  _ ‘hopeless’ _ .

Too much darkness, not enough light. Blurry images, nothing to describe them properly. New information, no answers, more questions…

Would they ever be able to help San one day ? Or were they bound to fail him ?

“I read a book a few years ago,” Yunho tore Wooyoung away from his dreadful thoughts. To his surprise, a small smile was tugging at his friend’s lips as he looked at San. “The protagonist could hear the thoughts of kidnapped persons. She joined an investigation team and spent her life saving these people from any harm.” The smile grew wider. “Maybe that’s who you are San. Someone gifted to help people.”

As if a light had been switched on, the thickening darkness filling Wooyoung’s thoughts went away, all of his concerning questions rushing to hide in the shadows of his mind. Yunho’s smile had always been able to lighten Wooyoung’s life, and today was no exception.

“He’s right !” Mingi – almost – shouted, his bright smile back on his face too. The weight of their discoveries didn’t feel so heavy anymore. “Maybe you seeing these visions is for a purpose, an amazing one I’m sure !”

His sparkling eyes met San’s conflicted ones. They stared at each other, the ghost of hopeful thoughts and silent fears dancing above their heads in the aisle.

San squeezed Wooyoung’s hand. Wooyoung squeezed back.

This was the hope they could hold on to. The tiny bit of faith that things would get better, that San’s life was more than a downward spiral full of darkness and perpetual questions.

This was the little wave of hope Yunho had forced them to look at, in the middle of an ocean of doubts.

A timid smile found its way on San’s lips.

“Maybe… Maybe I can help, yeah,” San murmured. He looked at Yunho, then at Mingi, stars slowly coming back in his eyes. Wooyoung knew they came back in his own too.

“Thank you guys, for giving me a reason to hope again.”

\--------------------

Their research had been cut short after Jongho had accidentally bumped against a bookshelf, ca using the thickest book of the room to drop on the floor with a thump and making Mingi cry out in fear. They put the newspapers back in their respective binders and flew out of the room at the speed of light, too scared of being caught. If they were lucky enough, Mme Daniel hadn’t heard Mingi’s scream and hadn’t seen them storming out of the castle to run in the gardens, but they would have to keep a low profile for a little while, just in case.

It meant they couldn’t go back to the restricted area, which wasn’t that bad of a situation in the end. There was already a lot to unpack and even if it didn’t help much about San’s situation for the time being, it was still important…

… And slightly terrifying.

“They'll close the school's grounds soon to keep us safe.” Jongho sighed, folding  _ Le Cri de la Gargouille _ and sliding it on the table. Mingi took it with caution.

They were all back together for breakfast, the lack of sleep easily noticeable on their faces, but mostly in their hairstyles. Wooyoung had to suppress a laugh when Jongho had entered the dining room a few minutes ago, his hair messier than the nest San and Wooyoung had discovered in the branches above their head after their last Patronus lesson.

_ Le Cri de la Gargouille _ had been waiting for them, in the middle of the table, begging to be read. Wooyoung had chosen to ignore it.

He was starting to be tired of these disappearances, or attacks, whatever they were. He couldn’t tell if he was actually scared, or simply frustrated by the lack of information. Probably both. At this point, it seemed clear enough that these assaults were done by the same person, monster,  _ thing _ , or group of people, and Wooyoung couldn’t understand how aurors still had  _ nothing _ to appease the growing concern.

With a loud sigh, Mingi closed the newspaper almost as fast as he had opened it and put it back in the middle of the table.

“How do you know that ?” Yunho asked, struggling to put butter on his brioche without it crumbling pitifully.

Jongho simply shrugged. “I don’t  _ know _ , it’s just a guess. All the attacks had been on Pureblood families and our school is teeming with rich Purebloods.”

“I think so too,” Yeosang added. “But they’ll probably wait until every student comes back from the Christmas break.”

“Do you think they’ll ban us from visiting the villages ?”

The conversation went on but Wooyoung’s lack of sleep didn’t allow him to follow it properly. He put an elbow on the table and placed his cheek on his palm, simply waiting for his friends to finish eating. To nobody’s surprise, his tired gaze settled on San.

He was sitting right in front of Wooyoung, his bowl of floppy cereals long forgotten as he had taken  _ Le Cri de la Gargouille _ and silently flipped through its few pages. Unlike their friends, San looked as stunning as ever today, his hair just as soft looking as usual. His cheeks still had a hint of pink from their walk to school this morning, the tip of his nose slightly red. He had been wearing Wooyoung’s scarf once again, and a few crumbs of the piece of bread Jongho had nicely shared with him were still lingering there.

Wooyoung could watch him all day.

Which was  _ not _ a socially correct thing to do and Wooyoung was painfully aware of that, so he blinked a few times to force himself to stop with the creepy staring. Just as he was about to look away though, his eyes caught the unusual tremor in San’s hands.

He frowned, blinking again, just to be sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

No, San’s hands were definitely shaking.

But it didn't stop there.

San’s eyes were wide open, his gaze lingering on the newspaper he was gripping tightly. His lips parted and for a brief moment, Wooyoung thought San had stopped breathing. Heart in high alarm, he opened his mouth to call for him, but Yunho beat him to it.

“San ?” he called from his seat next to Wooyoung.

No answer.

“San, you’re with us ?”

San blinked. Once, twice. His gaze left the newspaper, slowly turning toward Yunho.

“Yeah ?”

The frown on Yunho’s forehead deepened. He had probably noticed San’s weird behavior too. 

“You wanted to tell them about your vision…”

At an agonizingly slow pace, San put  _ Le Cri de la Gargouille _ back on the table. He blinked again, and even from where he was seated, Wooyoung could tell San wasn’t entirely looking at Yunho.

“Yeah… The vision…”

“San, are you okay ?” Wooyoung felt the urge to ask, an uneasy feeling crawling in his back.

It seemed to wake San up from whatever trance he had been in. He blinked  _ again _ before he slightly shook his head, his usual smile quickly coming back on his face.

This time, he  _ really  _ looked at Wooyoung.

“I’m fine, sorry ! Just spaced out for a second.” He let out a nervous giggle, scratching the back of his neck. “The vision, yeah !”

And just like that, he was back into the conversation, as if nothing weird had just happened.

Wooyoung caught Yeosang’s gaze, his own concern mirrored in his best friend’s eyes. He looked away.

San’s hands were still trembling.

**Saturday 12, December**

According to San, his visions seemed to be clearer as days passed. The few faces he had been able to see a couple of weeks ago were now always visible, every little sound easy to catch, and he could almost imagine the smell surrounding him too. The only detail that seemed to constantly slip from his hands was the little boy.

San had described him as kind, warm and welcoming but apparently, he had never been able to see his face and didn’t feel like things would change anytime soon. It was always blurry, kept in the dark or simply  _ not here _ .

If San’s visions truly were trying to talk to him, then this boy was an important piece of the puzzle they were trying to solve. Wooyoung hoped San would grab this piece before the potion was ready.

They had been talking about San’s visions and their newly found information for a couple of hours already, the six of them comfortably settled around a table of the library. All the students had left for dinner a few minutes ago and it wasn’t until Mingi’s stomach tried to talk on its own that they understood skipping a meal might not be a good idea tonight.

Putting their discussion on hold for now, they stood up and took their bag, ready to leave.

“San ? You're coming ?”

Wooyoung stopped walking at Yunho’s voice. He threw a glance over his shoulder, noticing that San hadn’t moved from his seat. The others were already leaving the room.

“I’m not hungry,” San answered, eyes on his lap.

Wooyoung hastened to react.

“It’s okay.” He tried to reassure Yunho with a confident smile. “Just go, we’ll join you later.”

Yunho didn’t seem entirely convinced. The crease between his eyebrows deepened as he glanced at San once more, then stared at Wooyoung. Then San again.

Eventually, he looked away and sighed, turning on his heels.

“Take your time, but don’t forget to eat something before bed,” he advised. A few seconds later, he was out of the library.

Wooyoung let his bag fall back on the floor. Now that their friends had left them alone, Wooyoung noticed how quiet the library could become at night, when people were busy eating on the other side of the castle. Being there at that time of the day was weird.

And San still hadn’t moved.

Determined to find what was wrong and how he could help, Wooyoung turned around the table to take Jongho's previous seat, right next to his friend.

“Sannie?” He called softly, gently taking one of San's hands between both of his and settling it on his lap. “Is something bothering you ?”

Of course, he knew many things could be bothering San these days and it might seem like a stupid question coming from him, but there was  _ something else _ . San had been acting weird ever since he read the newspaper two days ago. He was spacing out a lot and seemed to be constantly lost in his thoughts, as if something kept filling his mind, preventing him to focus on anything else ; his friends, his classes, his meals… Wooyoung didn’t want to scare himself any further, but San’s behavior looked a lot like the state he had been in when they met for the first time, about three months ago.

“You can talk to me Sannie,” Wooyoung tried again, seeing that San hadn't even moved a finger. “No matter what it is, I won’t judge you.”

San stayed silent, but he slowly closed his eyes.

_ Pretty _ .

For a moment, Wooyoung forgot he was waiting for a response and lost himself in the beauty of the sight in front of him.

It was dark outside and Mme. Roly, the librarian, had switched off the chandeliers when she headed to dinner. Since Wooyoung and his friends had been the last ones occupying the room, the lamp on their table was the only light on. It was usually enough to read and study, but its glow didn’t spread much.

Right now though, the dim orange light was brushing San’s skin and illuminating his sharp features with delicacy, as if it had been waiting for the room to fall silent to fully appreciate the beauty of San’s face and paint its picture of light and shadow there. Every piece of skin was bathed in an amalgam of yellow, orange and pink, every feature of his face enhanced by browns and burgundy. The sharp line of his jaw, the softness of his hair, his angular cheekbones and his pretty lips… Wooyoung could hear his own heart beating loudly against his ribcage, but he felt oddly calm.

When San’s eyes fluttered open, Wooyoung didn’t blush or look away. He simply gave San’s hand a light squeeze and offered him a reassuring smile.

“Woo…” San whispered. His gaze dropped to their hands. He sighed, then met Wooyoung’s eyes again. “Are those people in my head… Dead ?”

Oh. So San's weird behavior didn't come from the newspaper he had read as Wooyoung thought. The information they had found in the restricted room was what had been bothering him. And he had all the rights to be shaken up.

Wooyoung couldn't even imagine how he would have reacted if he suddenly discovered the strangers he saw in his dreams were real. Maybe suffering somewhere, or in the past.

San was strong and so, so brave for dealing with all of this without crumbling. Wooyoung sighed.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “But whatever it is, whatever is happening, it’s for a reason. Probably a good one, like Mingi said. Maybe these people want revenge on something. Maybe they need your help.”

“But why me ? How ?”

These were the questions Wooyoung kept asking himself. Why San ? How did it even happen ? Why did he have to go through all of this, why him ? Wooyoung would gladly take his place if it meant San would finally be able to breathe. He was certain all their friends would take a part of San's pain without a second thought if they could, to lessen his suffering.

So  _ why San _ ?

“Maybe someone or  _ something _ saw how beautiful your heart is,” Wooyoung answered, drawing patterns on San's knuckles. “Pure, kind. Huge. Willing to help.”

He offered him a small smile that San didn't return. Instead, San's brows furrowed deeper and he clenched his jaw, looking at their hands. 

“You’ll stay with me right ?” he murmured. “Once we discover everything… The truth behind all of this. You won’t leave me ?”

Wooyoung frowned. “Of course not San. What makes you think that ?”

San let out a deep sigh, his shoulder finally relaxing. He let himself fall against the back of the chair, closing his eyes.

“I don’t know. I’m just… I’m scared, I guess.” He opened his eyes again, staring back at Wooyoung. “I… You mean a lot to me and this whole thing going on is messing with my head, I just want it to stop. I’m tired. And I… I don't want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me Sannie.”

“But what if it’s  _ bad _ , Wooyoung. What if these visions are…” He stopped, biting his lips. After a few seconds, he eventually shook his head. “Sorry, I’m talking nonsense.”

“No no it’s okay, you’re scared and lost, it’s normal,” Wooyoung reassured. “Whatever the outcome, I’ll stay by your side, okay ? You can trust me.”

This time, San returned his smile, albeit faintly and a bit hesitant.

“Okay,” he whispered.

He didn’t add anything else and Wooyoung didn’t know what to say either, so their conversation came to an end after a couple of soft smiles. Wooyoung kept drawing on San's skin with the tip of his finger, leaving San to his thoughts as he waited for him to be ready to go eat something.

Time passed, the idea of joining their friends in time for dinner slowly slipping away from Wooyoung's mind. At some point, he lifted his head to glance at San, but his eyes didn't catch the pretty face he was supposed to see.

They fell on the poster settled behind the pretty face, on the wall.

The Christmas Ball.

Every wishful thought of asking San out came back in Wooyoung's mind at once, and a giant ball of nervousness instantly formed in his stomach. 

He had to do it now.

He had been waiting for the perfect opportunity, and an empty library with barely any light and no one to disturb them was  _ definitely _ one. 

All he needed was some courage now.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his raging heart.

“Hey, San.”

“Hm ?”

Okay, he could do it. He simply had to ignore the warmth spreading in his ears  _ and _ on his cheeks, or the way his palms were slowly becoming sweaty against San's.

“Do you plan on going to the Christmas ball ?”

Wooyoung honestly thought he would die on the spot when San's gaze left the window to look at him. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

“Yeah ? Why ?”

“Hm. Would you... Would you come with me?” Wooyoung tried, voice way too high to be normal.

San tilted his head to the side. “Sure ?” 

“I mean... As in…” Wooyoung's heart was definitely about to explode. “Would you be my date for the ball ?”

There. The words were finally out.

Wooyoung's heart was still beating at an alarming pace and the flush on his cheeks was probably ridiculously evident, but at least he had said it. He could try to calm down now.

Except he couldn't.

Because San was looking at him with wide eyes, lips parted in a perfect ‘O’ and he  _ wasn't saying anything _ .

Did Wooyoung make the biggest mistake of his life ? Did he read their relationship completely wrong and San was now thinking of a nice way to reject him ? Would Wooyoung need to cuddle with Yeosang for three days straight to dare to live normally again ? Oh no he couldn't do that, he was so in love there was no way he would be able to-

“Please tell me I'm not dreaming,” San murmured, cutting all of Wooyoung's panicked thoughts short. He slapped himself hard on the cheek, making both himself and Wooyoung flinch at the harsh sound.

“Yeah, okay, not a dream.” San giggled. There was a huge smile on his face as he grabbed both of Wooyoung's hands and locked his gaze with his. “Of course, I would love to go to the Christmas Ball with you, Woo.” A faint blush appeared on his cheeks before he added : “As your date.”

Then he  _ winked _ , and Wooyoung  _ melted _ , and now they were both blushing messes staring at each other with stupid smiles on their face. It was fine though, because no one was there to judge them, and at least they were happy.

After some relieved giggles and a lot of smiles, San let their hands fall back on their knees.

“Thank you,” he said, looking at his thumbs feathering against Wooyoung's skin.

“For what ?”

San shrugged. “I don't know exactly. There is a lot going on these days and my life is messed up but you're like... You're a breath of fresh air in my life. You make me happy.”

_ You make me happy… _

If only San knew how happy  _ he _ was making Wooyoung. How bright he made Wooyoung's days. He was the reason why Wooyoung always woke up with a stupid smile on his face in the morning, why flowers seemed prettier now that he knew San's favorite species, why History of Magic lessons didn't seem so boring anymore and why he came to love working on potions.

He was part of the people who made Wooyoung's life a better place. He helped him believe in himself more and always knew how to deal with Wooyoung's annoying moods.

He was warmth, light and peace for Wooyoung.

There was so much he wanted to tell the boy he loved, but so little were the words he could manage to say.

“You make me happy too, San,” Wooyoung whispered, squeezing San's hands for the umpteenth time tonight. 

They smiled again. Wooyoung's heart seemed to be  _ burning _ with a growing love for this boy looking at him with stars in his eyes.

Wooyoung loved him. He was so in love with San it almost scared him, but he knew there was no reason to be afraid. One day, he would tell San just how much he meant to him. One day, he would be brave enough and confess. One day, he would kiss those pretty lips and shout from the top of the highest tower of the castle that  _ he was in love with San _ .

Not today though.

Because San's stomach suddenly broke the silence and San instantly flushed red.

Wooyoung burst out laughing, already getting up, but keeping one of San's hands securely in his.

“Come on, let’s go steal Mingi’s dessert.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was honestly terrified to post this chapter because we're entering the big ✨plot ✨ part and there's no turning back now, but I hope you liked it anyway !
> 
> See you (soon, I hope) for the Christmas ball ~


	19. December : Week 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello,  
> I'm back with another chapter, and this one might be might new favorite one so I hope you'll like it as much as I do !
> 
> Here are three links you might need if you want to listen to the ✨right✨ songs while reading (for the "Friday 18" part) :  
> \- [The ball](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApSoNBu2wt8&t=2946s)  
> \- [The waltz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyRkyEVwfGo)  
> \- [The second dance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEdSdtztfLQ)
> 
> Enjoy 🖤

**???**

_San felt a sense of deja vu when the little boy crouched down in front of him._

_He frowned. Once again, he couldn't see the little boy's face. The visions themselves were never perfectly clear, but this face was just… So different. Each time San had focused on the boy's face to distinguish his features, his head had started to ache. Something was preventing him from seeing this face, and San lacked the strength to fight against it._

_It didn't erase the fact that San could_ feel _he was safe in this boy's presence. The feeling of warmth always surpassed San's dread when the little boy was here with him._

_“Hi,” the little boy simply said. He put a comforting hand on San’s knee and took out his wand from the pocket of his white jacket. “What’s your name ?”_

_“Gaetan,” San heard himself say._

_“Okay, Gaetan.” San could hear the reassuring smile through his voice. "It won't take long, I promise."_

_The little boy moved his hand from San’s knee to the back of his head._

_“It won't hurt.”_

_He put the tip of his wand against San’s temple._

_“I'm sorry.”_

_San didn't have any time to think when a throbbing pain invaded his head._

_He tried to scream but his lips were sealed, he reached out to push the little boy away, but his body wouldn't move._

_He sucked in a breath, the pain gripping his skin._

_Everything went dark._

**Tuesday 15, December**

The potion was officially done.

On Sunday night, Jongho had burst into Wooyoung’s dorm room with a triumphant smile, brandishing a vial filled with the green liquid Wooyoung knew so well now. He hadn’t stayed for long, only coming there to show him the result of their teamwork before he would finally give it to San. His enthusiasm and the hopeful glint in his eyes had put a smile on Wooyoung's face for the rest of the night.

But _it didn’t work_. 

On Monday morning, San had sat down at their table with a lopsided smile, Yunho wearing a similar expression.

“Hey, it’s fine,” San had said then, reassuringly patting Jongho’s shoulder. “Maybe I didn’t take enough. I’ll try again, and I promise I’ll be more careful with the dose.”

They had waited, and held their breath when San and Yunho had entered the room for breakfast this morning.

A long silence and San nervously chewing on his bottom lip were sufficient to understand the potion hadn’t worked this night either.

Wooyoung’s heart had sunk. But when his eyes had fallen on Jongho’s defeated expression, it fell off his chest and crashed to the ground.

The potion _wasn’t working_.

San would continue to suffer. Yunho would continue to ruin his health by not getting enough sleep every night.

The fucking potion they had put so much hope in _wasn’t working_.

Jongho had left the table in silence, San following him without a word. None of their friends had seen them for the rest of the day, not even for lunch, until San had sat by Yunho’s side with a small smile for their Potion class. 

Both the Potion class and their following tutoring session had gone well, and it wasn’t until they were walking in the hallways to head for dinner that Wooyoung decided now was the time to ask the question that had been running on his mind all day.

“How is Jongho ?”

The words passed his lips hesitantly, as if they were just as scared as Wooyoung to hurt San. He kept his eyes on the floor as they walked, admiring the grey seams the marble created under his feet. 

“He’s fine,” San answered, tone soft and comforting. Honest. “I told him Yunho and I didn’t mind waiting a bit longer. It’s not that bad actually, it can give me some extra time to catch more information with the visions and all…” he sighed as they turned a corner. “He’s not too fond of the fact I’ll keep having them when Yunho’s not around though.”

Wooyoung hadn’t even thought about that. The Christmas break.

Like every year, Yunho and Jongho would head back home this weekend, only coming back to school at the start of January. Wooyoung would go home too.

It meant San would stay alone in his dorm…

“Jongho told me you helped a lot,” San confessed, Wooyoung’s train of thoughts trailing away. “He seemed really grateful.”

“The potion failed though. It’s probably my fault.”

San quickly shook his head “It’s not. Jongho knows exactly where he messed up and he told me it doesn’t have anything to do with you. Honestly, the only thing he did was praise you. It was annoying.”

Wooyoung couldn’t help but let out a light chuckle, the conversation oddly similar to the one he had had with Jongho some days ago. He didn’t expect the Fifth Year to praise him in front of San, but the idea made his heart a bit lighter. 

“Are you really going back to the restricted room with Yeosang tonight ?” San asked as they started going down the stairs.

“Yeah, he wanted to go alone but I won’t let him do so. We’ll search for this Gaetan guy, and the other we read about last week.”

“David Dante ?”

“Yeah, him I guess.”

Honestly, Wooyoung was only going because Yeosang wanted to. He realized fast enough that he was completely overwhelmed by the amount of new information, and he wouldn’t be able to help much in trying to connect any dots. This was really not his thing, and although he had been a bit dejected when he accepted this fact, he also knew that where Wooyoung was lacking, Yeosang was shining.

This was _his_ thing.

But letting him go to the restricted room by himself in the middle of the night was absolutely out of the question. Either they went together, or he wasn’t going at all. Lucky for him, Wooyoung wanted to find a way to help San as fast as possible, so Yeosang hadn’t needed to ask twice for his approval. 

“Thank you,” San said. He turned around and lifted his head when he reached the bottom of the stairs, Wooyoung still two steps behind. Their eyes finally met. “For everything. The potion, the research. For being you.”

The smile dancing on his lips was so sincere and fond Wooyoung’s mind went blank for a few seconds, any words staying stuck in his throat. He parted his lips to talk but nothing came out and when San’s giggle reached his ears, Wooyoung felt like melting on the spot. Knowing he would never be able to answer properly, he simply offered his hand to San, grinning when gentle fingers quickly laced with his. 

They entered the dining room hand in hand and to Wooyoung’s surprise, none of their friends had arrived yet. San and Wooyoung took place at their usual table, letting go of each other’s hand but staying close while they went on another subject – once Wooyoung found back his ability to talk properly. 

“I don’t want you to leave,” San pouted after Wooyoung had listed all the flavors of the Yule logs his Chef liked to bake for Christmas.

“I don’t want to leave either, but I promised my mom I would go back home.” He mirrored San’s pout, trying to sound as sorry as possible.

It didn’t seem like it was enough because San suddenly threw his arms around Wooyoung’s shoulders and brought him against his chest.

“I’ll cuddle you to death so you won’t be able to go.”

Wooyoung laughed, although a nervous part of him felt like San could absolutely do that, considering how tight he was holding him right now.

“That’s such a San way to say you’ll miss me.”

“You won’t miss me ?” The pout was back.

Wooyoung smiled against San’s chest. “I will miss you the most San, and you know that.”

“Hmm… Okay I’ll take that !”

He giggled, finally letting go of Wooyoung and allowing him to breathe again. Wooyoung wouldn’t have minded staying trapped against San’s chest a bit longer though.

Bit by bit, the dining room filled with hungry students, the volume of the room slowly increasing. San had busied himself with his napkin, frowning as he folded it into what looked like a flattened hat but was most likely supposed to be a flower of some sort.

“Can I ask you something ?” Wooyoung asked after San groaned and started over for the third time.

He waved a hand into the air, silently telling Wooyoung to go on. 

“Why aren’t you talking to Seonghwa about all of this ?”

San’s hands stopped at once. The napkin unfolded naturally without the pressure of his fingers, but San didn’t move to keep it in place. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

“He’s not feeling well,” San murmured, voice quivering a little. He cleared his throat and seemed to get a hold of himself, straightening on his chair and going back to his napkin folding. “I wanted to talk but he is not really-“

“San. Please, don’t lie to me.”

That made San look up, his lips parted in surprise.

Wooyoung hadn’t meant to sound harsh or pushy, but the words had needed to get out.

Seonghwa was _fine_.

Maybe not fully recovered from whatever had happened to him, and Wooyoung probably didn’t know the extent of his illness – if he had been ill to begin with – but he had looked way better for the past few days, maybe even for the past few weeks now. Wooyoung could give in to San’s stubbornness and comply with his wills after a simple pout or the sight of cute dimples, but the lies, that was where Wooyoung drew the line.

He knew San was lying. Or hiding something, or whatever. He didn’t know what exactly, and perhaps he didn’t even need to know. San had the right to keep things to himself, and Wooyoung wanted to respect his privacy.

But the lies… Not the lies.

San must have seen it in his eyes because a flash of panic crossed his face, quickly replaced by a dejected expression. He sighed, putting his palms flat on his knees.

“I’m sorry Woo,” he murmured. “I… I have my reasons for not talking to him, but I usually spend a lot of time with him during the Christmas break so I’ll probably bring it up then.” 

“Are you going to tell him _everything_ ?” Wooyoung asked, simply out of curiosity.

San seemed a bit hesitant to answer. He started biting his lips, his fingers digging into his knees.

Just as he parted his lips to say something, Yunho appeared out of nowhere with a giant grin.

“I’m so hungry !” he shouted before he took both San and Wooyoung in his arms, engulfing them in a bear hug.

“I heard we’ll have onion soup tonight. Who even likes onion soup,” Mingi mumbled, taking a seat next to Yeosang who had already plopped down by Wooyoung’s side.

Jongho was there too, smiling again.

When Yunho let go of his friends to take a seat, San and Wooyoung shared a look. San offered him an apologetic smile, which Wooyoung could only return. Whatever San had wanted to say, it would have to wait. Their conversation was obviously ruined now.

With a sigh, Wooyoung turned back to the table, smiling at his friends.

At least there would be onion soup tonight.

**Wednesday 16, December**

Their second trip to the restricted room hadn’t been as fruitful as Yeosang had hoped. Searching about David Dante had ended with a dozen of articles simply mentioning his name when something weird ever happened, which had only resulted in Yeosang and Wooyoung finding even more missing people who either reappeared like Anna Marchon, or never had been found again, like Gaetan Corbin.

They hadn’t been able to dig much deeper though, because they were both exhausted and Wooyoung’s Christmas show was in less than two days. He needed as much sleep as possible, and San had made him promise he wouldn’t force himself to stay awake to search. They had come back to the dorm frustrated, and Yeosang had grumbled under his breath for ten minutes before falling asleep, Wooyoung nestled in his arms.

San had surprisingly canceled their 'Patronus lesson' today, so he could enjoy his last free afternoon with Jongho, and he had made it clear he wanted Wooyoung to do the same with their friends.

That was how Wooyoung ended in his own dorm room after lunch, sitting on his bed as he happily braided Mingi’s hair, his friend settled on the floor under him.

“So… What do you guys think about having a date for the Christmas ball ?” Wooyoung asked, trying to sound nonchalant as he started another braid.

Yunho choked on the glass of water he had been drinking from his seat on Yeonjun’s bed.

“At Beauxbatons ?!” he shouted, eyes wide. 

“Ew, who would want to date you though ?” Mingi said at the same time, completely ignoring Yunho's outburst. 

Wooyoung pulled on Mingi’s hair on purpose. “Apologize !”

“I’m sorry you’re ugly ?”

This guy was too confident for someone who had his entire scalp at Wooyoung's mercy. 

“You know, if you really wanted to have a date you could move your cowardly ass and do something about it.” Yeosang's voice came from the bathroom, the open door allowing him to hear the entire conversation. 

Wooyoung nervously bit his lip. “Actually…”

It made Yeosang pop his head out of the bathroom, a green mixture spread on half of his face. Both of his eyebrows were raised in surprise.

“Fucking _finally_.”

“Wait," Yunho frowned. "Am I the only one not following ?” 

“I think Woo got a date ?” Was Mingi's response. 

_“At Beauxbatons ?!”_

The way Yunho's eyes kept getting bigger would have been hilarious in any other circumstance, but right now, an uneasy feeling spread across Wooyoung’s chest and he completely let go of Mingi’s hair, avoiding the confused looks sent his way.

He had never talked to them about San. Screw that, _they_ had never talked about love or crushes, or anything close to the topic. It was just not a Beauxbatons thing, and it definitely wasn’t part of their group of friends, apart from Wooyoung occasionally cooing over Seonghwa and Hongjoong.

Wooyoung being in love though ? Even he couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

And with _San_ , of all people.

_Yunho's childhood friend._

Letting the next words out was harder than he had expected. 

“I… I asked San to the Christmas ball. He said yes.”

Silence.

A thick, agonizing silence. Wooyoung slowly brought his knees against his chest to hide, certain that they could all hear his heart hammering against his ribcage and resonating in the silence of the room. He wanted to leave.

But then, many things happened at once.

Mingi stood up abruptly and tackled Wooyoung down on the bed just as Yunho shouted and rushed to them, and soon Wooyoung was sandwiched between his two giant friends screaming in his ears.

“Are you serious ?!”

“How ?!”

“I can't believe this is happening !”

Wooyoung groaned at the sudden change of volume and the embarrassing questions. He tried to hide behind his hands but the two bodies around him were preventing him from moving more than a finger.

“Don’t make it seem like it’s a big deal,” he whined when Yunho and Mingi started to simply scream without saying anything coherent anymore. 

Yunho abruptly stopped to look at Wooyoung.

“But _it is_ ,” he stated, and now Wooyoung wanted to scream with them. 

“I know…" he murmured. Then, “Fuck, I _know_ ! What do I do now, I’m freaking out !”

“I’m freaking out too, what the hell Wooyoung ?!” Yunho shouted. He finally let go of Wooyoung, leaving only Mingi to cling to him like a koala in need of affection. Yunho stayed on the bed, staring at Wooyoung with wide eyes. “Who would have thought… You and San ? _My_ Sannie ? My almost-brother-childhood friend and _you,_ Jung Wooyoung, my first ever friend at Beauxbatons ?”

Wooyoung's ears flushed red at Yunho's words. 

“It’s… He’s just going with me to the ball.”

“That’s already a big thing and you know that. We don’t do dates and crushes at Beauxbatons.”

Well, yeah. He knew that. With a sigh, he straightened up in a sitting position, forcing Mingi up with him. 

“Help me out ?” he pleaded with a little pout.

“I don’t know anything about romantic stuff.”

“You watch a shit ton of Muggle romance movies though.”

“Or you could just go with the flow and act natural ?” Yeosang's distant voice cut before Yunho could answer.

Wooyoung should probably be offended by the sudden grimace on his face. 

“Who would want Wooyoung being natural ?”

Yeosang's chuckle resonated in the bathroom. “Well, San apparently.”

Yunho’s grimace only deepened and Wooyoung would have punched his nose if Mingi didn’t have both of his arms tightly wrapped around his upper body, keeping him in place. He put his chin on Wooyoung's shoulder and patted his head with a smile. 

“I’m not here to judge anyone, but San is tasteless.”

Wooyoung needed new friends.

**Thursday 17, December**

Someone definitely needed to adjust the calendar. Wooyoung could understand a sudden drop in temperature or an unexpected sunny day, but _this_ was too much. There was no way a weather like this one could belong to the autumn. Wooyoung had been freezing ever since he woke up on Monday morning, and it only got worse from there. Yeosang had to kick him out of the bed this morning, forcing him to let go of his warm blanket.

Living in this cold was a torture and students should be allowed to hibernate, even more if their school was built _in the middle of the mountains._

Needless to say, spending time outside was absolutely out of the question. Wooyoung kept complaining as soon as he had to put a foot out of the dorm, his hoodies weren’t warm enough, he was too lazy to search for the beanies he had stuffed somewhere in the darkest depths of his suitcase… So when he had started discussing with his friends about their yearly last night together before half of them would go back home for the Christmas break, he didn’t understand how he had ended up agreeing on using their usual location.

 _Outside_.

Now that dinner had passed and he was walking to the fields behind the school with his friends and a pile of blankets in his arms, he slightly regretted not considering it a bit longer.

It didn’t make him any less excited for the night though. It had always been one of Wooyoung’s favorite moments of the year ever since they had started doing it, and the freezing wind would never be able to ruin his mood. All the more so now that San and Jongho were joining them for the first time.

Once far enough from the castle, they messily used multiple drying and heating charms to warm up the ground and spread two blankets on the grass before they all sat down. Wooyoung’s reading glasses slid on his nose as he tried to find a comfortable position, and he pushed them back with a groan. For once, he had thought about wearing them for his History of Magic class – because he knew they would read _a lot_ today – but he had completely forgotten to take them off.

Whatever, he was still pretty.

The night had fallen a long time ago, their only source of light coming from San and Jongho’s wands placed in the middle of their circle. The usual white light had been replaced by an orange one and Wooyoung smiled when he realized they had tried to give a campfire feel to their night.

It was common knowledge that Yunho loved campfires. He had spent so many hours telling stories about the ones he had made with Jongho, San and Seonghwa, and how he wished he would be able to make one with Mingi, Yeosang and Wooyoung in the future.

Wooyoung really hoped they would, one day.

To his surprise, Jongho took a seat by his side instead of Yeosang or Mingi’s, and just like he had done in the restricted room a week ago, he slid both his arms around one of Wooyoung’s. The gesture was truly adorable and when the younger also put his head on Wooyoung's shoulder, Wooyoung bit his lip to prevent himself from cooing out loud.

Jongho was the cutest human being on earth.

Facing them was a smiling San, sandwiched between Mingi and Yunho. A blanket was thrown over their shoulders, but it wasn't big enough to cover them properly. They didn’t seem bothered though, and Wooyoung could understand why. He wouldn't mind if he was cuddling San either.

(Cuddling Jongho was great though !)

“It’s so fucking cold !”

Oh, right. Yeosang.

Wooyoung had tried to disregard his best friend's discreet complaints when they had walked in the field, but now his current struggle was just too funny to ignore.

He was sitting on Wooyoung’s left side, clearly fighting with his blanket as he tried to put it properly over his shoulders. Honestly, the blanket was already perfectly settled, but Yeosang was wearing this look that said he would fight anyone for no reason right now.

He swore a few times, took the blanket away from his shoulders to put it on his knees. Then he sighed and put it back on his shoulders.

“Why the fuck are we here and not using heating charms ?”

“San and Wooyoung put a ban on heating charms to cuddle,” Jongho answered with a shrug.

“But it’s _freezing_.”

“If we were cuddling you wouldn’t have this problem,” Mingi said.

His comment was followed by a loud yawn and he laid his head on San’s shoulder. He offered Yeosang a lazy smile but received a – pitiful - kick in the shin in return.

“Your lips are _blue_ Mingi.” 

“But my heart is warm.”

The second kick didn’t look as pitiful, but now Mingi had San’s arm around his shoulders to console him.

The night went on, different discussions came one after the other, blankets were exchanged for no reason and heating charms stayed banned. Jongho eventually traded seats with Yunho and Wooyoung nestled against his friend’s broad chest. It felt like an eternity had passed since the last time he had shared some cuddles with Yunho, and the familiar warmth of his body made Wooyoung smile, content.

They talked, and talked, another wand was added in the middle of their circle, two other blankets were exchanged, Yeosang finally gave in and huddled against Mingi… Wooyoung started to doze off in the warmth of Yunho’s arms and the soothing vibrations coming from his chest while he talked with their friends.

He was about to really fall asleep when a light tap on his cheek woke him up, something hot brushing against his palm. Confused, he fluttered his eyes open and instantly met Mingi’s smile. His friend was crouching down in front of him, holding something in his hand and pushing it in Wooyoung’s.

“Oh Merlin, I love you,” Wooyoung squealed when he realized the warm thing against his palm was a fuming mug of hot chocolate.

He hastened to take the drink so Mingi wouldn’t need to stay in that uncomfortable position any longer, offering his friend a grateful smile. The warmth emanating from the white porcelain against his skin was already spreading in his body.

This, and the fact Yeosang had thrown a second blanket over Yunho’s shoulders, engulfing Wooyoung in its warmth too.

Wooyoung fucking loved his friends.

After supplying everyone with hot chocolate and extra blankets, Mingi and Yeosang went back to their previous cuddles, starting a conversation with Jongho. Out of the corner of his eyes, Wooyoung noticed San patting Yunho’s shoulder, but he was too comfortable - and lazy - to move and take part in the upcoming discussion.

Except there wasn’t any discussion. After a few seconds of silence, Wooyoung felt Yunho backing away, the sudden loss of warmth making him whine childishly. Now that he was left with no human heater and no blanket, Wooyoung was certain he would turn into an ice cube in a matter of minutes.

It was _freezing_ , and Wooyoung did _not_ want to turn into an ice cube.

He was about to turn around and complain when another body settled behind him, a familiar chest pressing against his back.

“I thought I would never be able to cuddle you tonight,” San mumbled as he circled Wooyoung’s waist with his legs. “Yunho wanted to keep you all for himself. Selfish traitor.”

He slid both of his arms around Wooyoung’s shoulders too, his mug of hot chocolate a bit too close to Wooyoung’s chest for comfort, but Wooyoung’s heart was beating too fast for him to really pay attention.

He held his breath for a few seconds, trying to calm himself down and actually enjoy San’s sudden proximity. He wouldn’t dare to say it out loud, but he had been hoping that this would happen at some point. He was _needy_ , craving for San’s touch, and it honestly felt like weeks since the last time they _really_ cuddled.

But now San was here, and his body was warm, and he still smelled like roses and chamomile, and Wooyoung felt himself smiling foolishly as he relaxed against San’s chest. He brought the still steaming mug to his lips, the smell of cacao already spreading in his nostrils. A white fog suddenly blurred his vision and he panicked for a split second, before remembering his glasses. He snorted at his own stupidity, the fog dissipating as fast as it had appeared.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” San murmured against his ear. Wooyoung didn’t manage to suppress his shiver.

“I only wear them when I know I’ll read a lot or if I’m tired. I’m supposed to wear them more often, but I usually forget they even exist.” He took a sip of hot chocolate, steam spreading on his glasses again.

“It suits you. A lot, actually.” Gentle fingers feathered against the arm of the glasses. They moved to Wooyoung’s hair then, stroking the side of his fringe. “You look cute.”

Wooyoung was positive his heart had stopped for a moment. His ears flushed red and when he felt the corner of his lips twitching, he took another sip of his drink to hide his growing smile.

“Thank you.”

Jongho coughed loudly in front of them.

“ _Whipped_ ,” Wooyoung heard him say, and he was ready to throw a shoe right in his face but the younger wasn’t looking in their direction.

Maybe Wooyoung had heard him wrong, or maybe he hadn't been talking about them.

He did high-five Yeosang, though.

Suspicious demons.

The night passed, curfew was getting close. Mugs were empty. No one seemed bothered by the hour or the cold though. Wooyoung’s friends kept moving seats and throwing blankets at each other, laughing at stupid jokes and talking happily. San stayed behind Wooyoung the whole time, arms securely wrapped around him now that their drinks weren’t in the way anymore. Not once did someone ask for one of them to move or cuddle with someone else. As if Wooyoung staying in San’s arms was normal, as if it was where he was supposed to be.

It made Wooyoung realize that all his friends were now aware of his feelings for San. Maybe not _all_ his feelings - Yeosang was the only one who knew it all - but at least his interest. In any other circumstances, Wooyoung would have freaked out and left San’s side to avoid any teases or knowing gazes, but now he felt oddly peaceful.

Even if Mingi kept smirking looking at them and Jongho had wiggled his eyebrows in their direction at least five times in the last thirty minutes, Wooyoung was glad they knew.

Deep down, he knew he could just say it out loud, that there would be no repercussion. He knew now, that his feelings weren’t as one-sided as he had thought a few weeks ago. He knew he would be even happier if he stopped keeping them hidden in a secure part of his heart and simply confessed. He _knew_.

But there was something warm, something soothing in the fact he could know without having to talk. He knew, and San probably knew too, yet they didn’t need to voice it.

Gentle touches, sweet attention, fond looks and soft smiles…

For now, and until Wooyoung would feel ready to take the last step forward, this was enough.

Shy fingers tickled his palm and Wooyoung instinctively opened his hand. San giggled softly against his neck as he laced their fingers.

“I’ll miss you Woo,” San sighed. His hold tightened around Wooyoung, slightly, just enough to convey the sincerity of his words.

“I’ll miss you too Sannie. Will you send me a letter ?” Wooyoung asked, a bit hopeful.

Reading letters from his friends always managed to brighten his days back home, even more if his father was there for the break too. It helped him forget about the things he didn’t want to think about, and smile when he felt like crying. Not that he felt like crying that often, just sometimes, when his father was too pushy or when he felt alone, or when he missed his friends, or-

Soft lips pressed against his cheek.

“You can count on me,” San murmured, lips brushing against Wooyoung’s skin.

Wooyoung shivered. He squeezed San’s hand, trying to keep himself grounded despite his heart threatening to escape his ribcage at any moment.

“Tell me if anything happens to you, okay ?” he asked then, in a whisper.

Another kiss. A simple nod.

San’s beating heart against his back.

“I’ll do my best for you, Woo.”

**Friday 18, December**

The Christmas show went by as smoothly as Wooyoung had expected. He had never shared the nervousness of going up on stage contrary to most of his classmates, but for the first time ever since he had started dancing at Beauxbatons, Wooyoung had felt a slight pressure knowing San would be in the room, watching him. It hadn’t been too bad, Wooyoung would even say that it was a _good_ pressure, as it had pushed him to dance to his limit, to make sure he would give his all and make the most of his second role.

In the end, he felt proud of his own performance, and San would probably say that this was the most important. 

Once the show was officially over, Wooyoung received the usual praises from his professor, along with his classmates’ compliments. Even Seonghwa nodded in acknowledgment when they walked past each other in the changing room.

For once, Wooyoung changed at the speed of light and left the room before half of his classmates, almost running to meet his friends. When he reached the hallway, they were all there, conversing happily. Yunho was the first one to notice him, and he patted San’s shoulder with a smug smile. 

When San turned around, Wooyoung noticed the pretty bouquet of flowers secured in his arms. It flew out of his grip as soon as his eyes met Wooyoung’s though, falling in Yeosang’s hands as San ran into Wooyoung’s arms with a blinding smile.

“You were _amazing_ !” he complimented, and when their friends joined him to congratulate Wooyoung’s performance and talk about the show, San kept his arms secured around Wooyoung, never letting go.

A few hours later, after a well-deserved dinner and a long, warm shower, Wooyoung found himself forced to sit on Yeosang's bed, his best friend armed with a set of different make-up tubes. 

“My hands are trembling. Yeosang, why are my hands trembling ?” Wooyoung asked as Yeosang tortured him with a tube of mascara.

“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself Woo,” Yeosang sighed. “Everything will be fine. It’s the same ball we’ve been to since we were First Years, and San is the same San you met a few months ago.”

“But he’s my _date_.”

“And ?” Yeosang raised an eyebrow, giving Wooyoung two seconds of respite before he started working on the other eye. “He agreed on going with you right ? Anyone in their right mind wouldn’t do such nonsense so obviously he won’t care if you make a fool of yourself tonight.”

“You think I’ll make a fool of myself ?”

Yeosang scoffed. He put the cap back on the tube of mascara and patted Wooyoung’s cheek with an apologetic smile.

“At least you’re pretty now.”

After a painful time spent in front of the bathroom’s mirror, debating whether Wooyoung should slick his hair back or tie them in a ponytail, Yeosang eventually concluded keeping them natural would be the best option. Wooyoung wouldn’t say it out loud and even less in front of Yeosang, but the memory of San’s soft fingers brushing Wooyoung’s hair behind his ear made him agree without a complaint.

Now all he needed was to get dressed...

He hadn’t thought much about it when San had asked if he could be in charge of their outfits for the ball, but maybe he should have. San's clothes were fucking princely next to Wooyoung's and there was no way it would change for a _ball_. Wooyoung had purposely ignored the suit San had neatly settled on his bed while he was rehearsing for the Christmas show this afternoon, but now the time had come, and Wooyoung couldn't run anymore. 

He took the outfit and started to get dressed, ignoring the way his ears were already flushing at the thought that San probably got them _matching outfits_. That they would both wear. In front of their entire school.

Fuck, Wooyoung really wasn’t going to survive the night.

Once fully dressed, he took a look at his reflection in the French window of the room.

He was… Well, he looked good. Like, _really_ good.

He chuckled quietly while turning around, trying to see how it looked like from behind too. Fuck, he loved it. Despite the many fancy dinners and boring balls Wooyoung had been forced to attend in his life, he had never worn anything as beautiful as this outfit, and he couldn't help but feel proud in it.

It was simpler than what Wooyoung had expected, which was a pleasant surprise, but it still screamed wealth. Just like his shoes, the pants were simple, black, and the button-up shirt that went with it was purely white, with no fancy lace or flounce.

The jacket was the main piece of the outfit. It had been _shining_ on his bed for hours and Wooyoung had almost thrown a hoodie on his sheets to hide it. Now that he was wearing it though, it didn’t seem so intimidating anymore. The entire jacket was made in a midnight blue velvet, silvery sequins splattered here and there, catching the light and shining brightly with each movement Wooyoung made. The front and the sleeves were decorated with embroidery, flowers and geometric shapes perfectly formed by a silver thread.

The beauty of this single piece of clothing was mesmerizing. 

The thin silver necklace and its matching choker Yeosang had forced him to wear blended perfectly with the jacket, shining along with the spangles. Wooyoung had also taken the bold decision to finally put some earrings on his already pierced ears - one on his right ear, three on the left one, his father wasn't supposed to know about that - promising himself that he would not be embarrassed about it tonight. If Hongjoong could do it, so could Wooyoung. If a professor scolded him, then he would take them off. But now that they shone brightly with the rest of his outfit, he truly hoped he would be able to keep them the whole night.

He also took some time debating between keeping one button of his shirt open or two, only to end up with three and an intentional glimpse of his collarbone. 

“You don’t look that bad.”

Wooyoung turned around to see Changbin entering the room, already dressed in his bottle-green suit.

“You look like a fucking _olive_.”

A fucking _handsome_ olive, Wooyoung must add, but certainly not out loud. Changbin scoffed as he grabbed the coat he had left on his bed.

“Felix chose my suit.” There was a huge grin on his lips when he turned to look at Wooyoung again, hand already back on the doorknob. “Now you feel bad for mocking me. Serves you right !”

He smoothly dodged the pair of socks Wooyoung threw at him and disappeared behind the door, his annoying laugh resonating in the hallway.

“You ready ?” Yeosang reappeared from the bathroom, fully dressed too.

And damn, he was gorgeous. Wooyoung had been with him when Yeosang had received the suit back home, but seeing it on him was completely different than seeing it sprawled on a bed. 

It was one of the simplest suits Yeosang had ever worn, but it was entirely made of red velvet, and the golden necklaces framing his neck added a touch of elegance to the outfit. Fuck Yeosang, his pretty face and his stunning outfit for being so perfect-looking all the damn time.

“No ?” Wooyoung tried, but he was already walking to the door.

He felt like a fucking prince.

He felt as pretty as Yeosang.

“Amazing,” Yeosang answered with a knowing smile. "Let’s go then, we're already late.”

\----------

If Wooyoung had been stressed throughout their walk to the castle, putting a foot in the dining room made his bones turn to jelly. He grabbed Yeosang’s arm to keep himself steady when he saw – and heard – the orchestra situated in a corner of the room, suddenly reminded that he would have to _waltz_ tonight.

With _San_.

Yeosang didn’t seem to care about his inner crisis, dragging him to the other side of the room. He smiled at some of their friends and Wooyoung’s eyes widened at each dress he saw on their way to the buffet, each of them more expensive looking than the other, overflowing with spangles and frills. It once again reminded Wooyoung of how different the Christmas ball was compared to the Halloween party.

This was a normal party for most. People would stare and judge here, trying to find a flaw in the person in front of them, quietly criticizing someone’s dress. Gossips would spread fast too. Wooyoung could already feel the stares on him, and it wasn’t just his nervous mind tricking him. People were actually looking at him, judging him from head to toe with no shame. It didn’t take long for him to understand San was already here, and people had seen his outfit. The one matching with Wooyoung.

They knew San and Wooyoung came to the ball as partners.

Wooyoung truly wanted to brush them aside and think about his own happiness, but a knot formed in his stomach when he caught another condescending glare.

“I can’t do it,” he murmured, voice so weak Wooyoung doubted Yeosang ever heard him. He let go of his best friend's arm and turned on his heels, but Yeosang was fast enough to throw an arm around Wooyoung’s waist, forcing him back.

“It’ll be okay Woo. Ignore them, they’re jealous because you have a hot date and they don’t.” He gave him a reassuring smile before adding : “Or maybe because your hot date has a hot date.”

That made Wooyoung smile, albeit weakly. He allowed Yeosang to pull him with him to the buffet, knowing that they would meet their friends there.

As expected, they found Yunho and Mingi easily once they reached the table full of appetizers. Mingi was wearing his favorite pastel blue suit and Yunho had opted for a classic black one. _‘Classic is best’_ he had said once, and never changed his suit ever since. He was stunning though, with his long legs and broad shoulders, so Wooyoung couldn’t really judge him.

“Please tell me San is already here, Wooyoung is two minutes away from passing out,” Yeosang said when he noticed Jongho and San weren’t with them.

Yunho scoffed, pointing toward the end of the long table.

“I think he started partying without us,” he noted, and Mingi chuckled noisily by his side.

Confused by Yunho’s words and Mingi’s weird reaction, Wooyoung slowly turned around, following their gaze. His eyes naturally fell on San, currently stuffing three macarons in his mouth while Jongho frowned by his side. Wooyoung hid a giggle behind his hand, the weight that had piled up on his shoulders over the last few minutes instantly disappearing. Seeing San being so true to himself even in this kind of event helped Wooyoung relax, his heart slowly calming down.

Then his brain caught up with San’s appearance and Wooyoung choked on air, the entire world stopping around him.

Where Wooyoung had found himself pretty, San was… Well.

He was _hot_.

San’s outfit was a perfect copy of Wooyoung’s, the only difference being the embroidery around his sleeves and on the front of the jacket, and the third button of his shirt still neatly buttoned. He had taken the liberty to wear earrings too. Wooyoung didn’t even know San’s ears were pierced, and now he didn’t know what to do with the information.

But it didn’t stop there.

San’s hair was _slicked back_ , and there was a fucking _braid_ right above his ear. A braid ! And his make-up was… Shit, Wooyoung would have to talk with Jongho, he knew it was his fault and this couldn’t continue like that. San looked like some kind of _deity_ , how was Wooyoung supposed to act now ?

Mingi gently tapped on Wooyoung’s back, bringing the people and the music around him back to life.

“Stop drooling and go. He’s your date.”

The words made Wooyoung gulp, but he nodded. He had to move. After all, he had been the one inviting San.

After taking a deep breath and dramatically waving at his friends, Wooyoung gathered all his courage and walked toward the end of the table.

Jongho was the first one to notice him, a smirk forming on his lips as soon as their eyes met.

“Hey, Wooyoung.”

San’s head snapped up to look at Jongho with a frown, only for his eyes to widen comically when he noted Wooyoung’s presence. He choked on the fourth macaron he had added in his mouth, his – full – cheeks turning redder than the weird beverage exposed between them on the table. 

Jongho simply patted San’s back, giggling like the little demon he was.

“I’ll leave you two together then. Please tone down with the macarons, we both know how it could end.”

He winked at Wooyoung and after a single pat on his shoulder, he left to join the rest of their friends.

Once San seemed to swallow the last bit of macarons and managed to let go of his previous embarrassment, he straightened and turned back to look at Wooyoung. His lips parted but he stopped before any words could get out. He clasped his mouth shut, gaze turning dark.

Without an ounce of shame, he visibly checked Wooyoung out, his eyes scanning Wooyoung’s body from head to toes.

“You’re stunning,” he confessed quietly, his intense gaze lingering a bit too long on Wooyoung’s three opened buttons. When his eyes met Wooyoung’s again, a smug smile grazed his lips.

“I heard you had a date tonight. Your partner sure is a lucky one.”

Wooyoung was about to pass out.

“What’s with you today.” He pouted, trying to divert the attention away from his reddening cheeks by pushing San’s chest with his fists.

San stopped him easily, catching his wrists and pulling on them to bring Wooyoung closer, flushing their body together. He let go of Wooyoung’s wrists and smoothly slid his arms around his waist.

“Sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry at all. “I’m just really happy and you’re really pretty.”

He poked Wooyoung’s crimson cheek and giggled when Wooyoung’s pout deepened. Wooyoung’s heart was about to explode. They were _so_ close.

 _Too close_.

It usually wasn’t a problem, they had ended up even closer on multiple occasions, and Wooyoung didn’t mind the proximity at all… But they were alone most of the time.

The stares Wooyoung had managed to forget for a few minutes were back now, sticking on his body and making his skin burn where San was still holding him.

It was frustrating. Wooyoung felt safe and secured in San’s arms, yet he couldn’t help but suffocate in his hold. He just… He couldn’t stand the stares. They were condescending and judging, too familiar, too close to home. Too close to his father. And Wooyoung really didn’t want to think about home now, not here, not tonight. Not now that he had finally asked San out for a night.

San must have felt his discomfort, because he slowly detached from Wooyoung and took a step back, giving him the space he desperately needed. He kept his smile though, a comforting one, and Wooyoung felt himself breathing again, knowing that San hadn’t taken it personally.

The sudden lack of touch felt more disturbing than the stares though, so Wooyoung took San’s hand and interlaced their fingers with a smile.

“Come on, I need to have a quick word with Jongho.”

\----------

“Why are you still here, _not_ dancing with San ?” Yeosang asked now that they were standing alone in a corner of the room, away from the dancing crowd.

Mingi snorted in his soft drink, choking on it the next second and coughing awkwardly. Yunho had the merit of being smoother. He slid an arm around Wooyoung’s shoulders, a smug smile dancing on his lips.

“Let the poor man live, he’s barely breathing when San’s around.”

Wooyoung groaned, genuinely wishing the ground could open under his feet and swallow him. Or simply teleport him to the dorm so he could hide under his blanket until the end of the ball.

The thing was, Yunho was completely right.

Once San had let go of his hand to share a dance with Jongho, Wooyoung had felt the sudden need to _sit_ , a bit too lightheaded. Yeosang had followed him while Yunho and Mingi had disappeared to dance too.

On top of being absolutely _breathtaking_ in this outfit, San seemed to be beaming with joy. Wooyoung couldn’t remember the last time he saw him smile so bright for so long, and as much as it warmed his heart, it made it difficult for him to breathe properly. His heart had missed so many beats over the course of the party Wooyoung almost asked Yeosang to write down his will right here.

There was no way he would survive that night. Wooyoung was so full of love for this boy it was starting to hurt.

He would stare at him for way too long, suddenly realize he had been staring and force himself to stop, only to do it again a couple of seconds later.

If San had seemed shy and out of place during the Halloween Party, it clearly wasn’t the case with the ball. It was evident for anyone that San was in his element in this kind of party. He hadn’t left the middle of the room once and kept dancing with Jongho, smiling and laughing and being the most beautiful person on earth.

Wooyoung wanted to scream.

Yeosang had eventually grown tired of his lovesick stares and had dragged him to the middle of the room. Granted, it had been pretty nice to waltz with Yeosang after so long, even if they had kept walking on each other's feet on purpose. After a few songs, his best friend had ditched him to dance with Yeonjun, and Wooyoung had declined Gahyeon and Gowon's offers to waltz. He was used to dancing with the girls of his ballet class and he could understand their surprised expressions when he had – politely – rejected them, but he wasn’t in the mood tonight. He did share another waltz with Mingi, but once the song had come to an end, Wooyoung had left the dancing area to isolate himself.

Yunho and Mingi had joined him a few minutes later, quickly followed by Yeosang.

Leading them to now, with Wooyoung trapped under Yunho’s arm, heart running fast in his chest while he pitifully stared at the boy he loved dancing with his best friend a few meters away from them.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice how gone you were on him. It’s basically written on your forehead !” Yunho admitted, pinching Wooyoung’s cheek and receiving a glare in return.

“Try listening to him ramble after one of their Patronus lessons,” Yeosang said, accepting a canapé a passing by maid-fairy offered on a tray. He bowed politely, then turned back to Yunho. “Thank Merlin he’s a coward or he would propose to him tomorrow.”

They all laughed at Wooyoung’s misery while he groaned again, trying and failing to push Yunho away.

He hated his friends. He should have kept it all to himself and never told anything to Yeosang.

Fine, that wasn’t true and it wouldn’t be possible anyway, so he simply had to suffer and live through the teasing until the end of his days.

After a dramatic sigh, and as he ignored his friends still talking about him and his disastrous crush, Wooyoung’s eyes naturally fell on San again. He was still dancing with Jongho, which wasn’t surprising since San didn’t know many people. Wooyoung was certain he had seen him dancing with Yunho at some point, but Jongho seemed to stay his favorite partner.

The song was slowing down, gradually announcing its end and Jongho bent down to say something in San’s ear. San’s eyebrows perked up, and so did Wooyoung’s heart when San straightened and started searching for something, or someone, eyes darting everywhere around the room.

His gaze fell on Wooyoung.

And Wooyoung froze.

“Uh oh. I think someone’s going to dance,” Mingi teased, which didn’t help the sudden increase of Wooyoung’s heartbeats at all.

Wooyoung was only slightly aware of the sudden lack of music, the orchestra getting ready for the next song, when San stopped in front of him with a dimpled smile. Before any of them could say anything, San bowed to Wooyoung and held out his hand.

“May I have this dance ?”

Wooyoung's heart did something weird in his chest. Slowly, the noise around him fell into a muffled sound to his ears, the room spinning for a bit until all he could see was San.

He nodded, mind too foggy to really think as he put his hand on top of San’s. He didn’t notice Yunho finally letting him go, or Mingi snickering as he walked away with San, or even the new song starting. All he could see was San, all he could hear was his own heart beating loudly in his ears. He focused on the softness of San’s skin against his hand as San led them to the center of the room. Then, and only then did Wooyoung hear the melody of a familiar waltz.

San brought their bodies together, smirking when Wooyoung let out a startled sound.

“Do you want to lead ?” San whispered against his ear.

An army of butterflies flew in Wooyoung’s stomach and he hastened to put his hand on San’s shoulder blade, not trusting his knees to keep him up any longer. He slightly shook his head.

He was used to leading but he couldn’t even _think_ properly right now, there was no way he would be able to lead a dance. San didn’t seem to mind anyway and soon enough, his warm hand found its way on Wooyoung’s waist, the other gently putting their fingers higher in the air.

They started swaying from left to right, slowly, simply following the soft melody of violins and cellos.

“I’m pretty sure your hand is supposed to be higher,” Wooyoung dared to murmur, San’s touch on his waist _burning_ him despite the clothes.

“Maybe. Guess I still have a lot to learn about waltzes.”

The hand didn’t move. Flutes and oboes joined the music and they turned a bit faster, Wooyoung gasping when San brought him even closer.

“Is that okay ?” he asked, the genuine worry in his eyes making Wooyoung melt.

He nodded, not trusting his voice or himself to say anything coherent.

They continued their waltz, losing themselves in the music. Now that the shock of dancing with San had sunk in, Wooyoung allowed himself to fully enjoy the dance, letting go of his upsetting thoughts and doubts. He forgot the stares, the whispers sent their way and slowly, just like when San had held his hand to lead him to the middle of the room, everything around them disappeared again. There was nothing else but the musicians playing for them, San against him, his beautiful smile shining for Wooyoung, and Wooyoung only. The room was theirs now, and they spun, moved, danced freely together, as if the night had been made for them, as if this was the only moment that mattered.

Wooyoung felt his own smile growing as San made him spin, giggling when he went back against San’s chest. Each time they parted ways following the melody, they came back to each other closer, smiles brighter, hearts warmer. 

At some point, San let go of his hand to put both of his on Wooyoung’s waist and spun him in the air. They both laughed when Wooyoung came back to his feet, pressing their forehead together as the violins played their last notes.

When the music stopped, Wooyoung didn’t back away, and neither did San. They stared at each other, taking the time to get their breath back. Another song began, a slower one. Stringed and wind instruments stayed asleep, giving their place to the lone melody of a piano.

The familiar first notes brought Wooyoung back to his childhood years, to one of these rare moments when his mother would sit with him and brush his hair after a long day of laughing and running around with Yeosang. She would invite her cousin for dinner sometimes, and he would play on the grand piano of their living room. His mother had always liked this song, but Wooyoung loved it even more. It was calm, soothing, and Wooyoung would always fall asleep under his mother’s soft touches.

He closed his eyes to fully appreciate the comfort of this moment, smiling when San gently took Wooyoung’s hands to place them on his own shoulders. They didn’t stay there for long, as Wooyoung hastened to slide his arms around San’s neck instead. With an amused huff, San circled Wooyoung’s waist with his arms, pressing their chest together. They swayed slowly, from one foot to the other, following their own rhythm.

It wasn’t a song to dance to and perhaps San and Wooyoung were the only ones still standing in the middle of the room. Wooyoung didn’t know, and he didn’t care. He kept his eyes closed and hid his face in the crook of San’s neck, enjoying the familiar scent he came to love. San smelled like happiness and warm hearts.

“Jongho helped Joong with the playlist,” San said quietly, slightly tilting his head to place it against Wooyoung’s. “He knew the next waltz was my favorite, and that I wouldn’t want to dance with anyone other than you.” His hold around Wooyoung’s waist tightened. “Thank you, Wooyoung. It was the best waltz I’ve ever danced.”

“It was my best too,” Wooyoung admitted.

“You’re a dancer Woo. Surely you had better partners to dance with.”

“But they’re just that. Dance partners.” Wooyoung opened his eyes and lifted his head to look at San. He smiled when he saw the confusion in his eyes, blending with a spark of hope. With some newly found courage, he put a gentle hand on San’s cheek and stroked the soft skin with his thumb. “You mean way more than a dance partner to me, San. It was _truly_ the best waltz of my life.”

San held his gaze for a moment, searching for something in Wooyoung’s eyes. The confusion gave its place to fondness and when San smiled, Wooyoung knew he had managed to convey his sincerity. San brushed his fingers against Wooyoung’s still on his cheek, leaning in the touch.

When the piano stopped, he took Wooyoung’s hand and pressed a kiss against his knuckles. The melody of another waltz filling the room, playing with the frantic pace of Wooyoung’s heart. San smiled again.

“May I have another dance then ?”

\----------

By the time Yeosang came to inform them they were all going back to the dorm, the ball slowly coming to an end, Wooyoung's feet were throbbing. Hand in hand with San, he crossed the gardens laughing loudly with his friends, heart full and content. He had spent so much time waltzing with San his head was still spinning as he walked, the sweet sound of flute and cellos still resonating in his ears.

When they reached the dorms, Yeosang took care of reminding everyone that “ _this fucker is leaving at ass o’clock tomorrow morning so the goodbyes are now or never_ ”, and now Wooyoung had his arms full of a loud Mingi visibly trying to choke him in a hug.

“I’m going to miss you !” Mingi whined in his ear and as irritating as it was, Wooyoung couldn’t help but smile. He hugged Mingi back, bringing him close.

“I’ll miss you too, princess. I promise I won’t forget to write you a letter this time.”

“Just write ‘ _I love Mingi the most’_ at the end of your letter for San and it’ll be fine.”

Wooyoung broke their hug to hit Mingi’s shoulder, smiling despite himself. He would definitely not forget to write San a letter, and Mingi was frustratingly aware of it.

Well, Wooyoung wasn’t planning on forgetting to write one for Mingi either, he was a good friend. Last year didn’t count.

After Yunho forced both Jongho and Wooyoung into a group hug, they all waved at him – and Yeosang – and left to enter their respective dorms.

All but one.

“I’ll be in my room then,” Yeosang informed, already turning on his heels. “Good night San.”

He waved at their friend with a smile, which San returned immediately and a couple of seconds later, the doors of the Ciel dorm were closing behind him.

It took approximately two seconds before San and Wooyoung rushed into each other’s arms, engulfing themselves in a hug.

“I’ll miss you,” San whispered, and Wooyoung could only bring him closer, trying not to think about the two weeks he would have to spend without San.

“I’ll miss you too Sannie.”

A group of Second Years appeared from the gardens and walked a few meters away from them, talking loudly as they made their way to the Soleil dorm.

Once they disappeared inside the building, and the calm settled back, San and Wooyoung backed away to look at each other. San looked beautiful under the bluish light coming from the gardens, the spangles of his jacket shining almost as brightly as his eyes.

He brought a hand to Wooyoung’s face, sliding a strand behind his ear.

“I hope you’ll use heating charms properly while I’m not around.”

“I hope Yeosang won’t become your favorite new friend.”

San laughed lightly, and Wooyoung almost closed his eyes to enjoy the sound at its fullest.

“Weird of you to think you could be my favorite,” San teased, his fingers now stroking the nape of Wooyoung’s neck.

It was Wooyoung’s turn to laugh, the smirk on San’s face making his heart burn with a sudden desire to kiss it out of his face.

“Okay, ouch.”

They were close now. Closer than they had ever been tonight. San pressed their foreheads together, the light touch of his breath against Wooyoung’s lips making his knees weak. Wooyoung put both of his hands on San’s chest to keep himself steady.

“Even if Yeosang becomes my favorite, it won’t change the fact that you’re special,” San whispered, each word playfully tickling Wooyoung’s lips, making his head spin.

“Yeah ?”

“Yeah.”

Their hesitation was tortuous. Wooyoung could feel San’s eyes on his lips, painfully aware of the hand still playing with his hair on the nape of his neck. Then San came closer, and closer, their breaths blending into one, and Wooyoung’s heart was about to burst out of his chest but so seemed to be San’s, beating fast against Wooyoung’s palms.

“When you come back…” San breathed out, the rest of his sentence disappearing in the narrow space still separating their lips. Wooyoung didn’t need to hear the words San hadn’t been able to say to understand.

Waiting for San to finally kiss him was difficult, but living apart for two weeks right after their first kiss would be agonizing. They could wait. They would wait. So with a heavy heart, Wooyoung slowly backed away.

Only to move forward again and kiss the corner of San’s lips.

“You’re driving me crazy San,” Wooyoung confessed, his hands falling from San’s chest just as San let go of his neck. Their fingers found each other again, on each of their sides.

“It doesn’t sound like a bad thing,” San giggled, the bluish light allowing Wooyoung to notice the pink tint now grazing San’s cheeks. He let the silence answer for him, smiling when San put his head on Wooyoung’s shoulder.

Another group of people arrived to go back to their dorm, quieter this time. Then they were alone again.

San pressed a kiss on Wooyoung’s neck, smirking when Wooyoung visibly shivered.

“We should probably go,” he whispered against his skin.

“Probably…”

San chuckled, kissing his neck again. 

“For real, I’m freezing and Yunho won’t go to sleep if I’m not here. Also, you have to wake up early tomorrow.”

Oh. Wooyoung hadn’t even noticed how cold he felt too. San’s neck kisses were a pleasant distraction, but he was right. It was getting late and Wooyoung did have to leave in a few hours. He still didn’t know if his father would be home tomorrow, but Wooyoung knew arriving in time would be better anyway, just in case.

He sighed, letting go of San’s hands to bring him in another hug. San hugged back, arms firm around him.

“Stay safe,” he whispered, his voice muffled by Wooyoung’s clothes.

Wooyoung nodded, closing his eyes. “I will.”

He smelled the familiar scent of rose and chamomile one last time, burying its memory in a secured part of his mind. A couple of seconds later, they were parting for good, with warm smiles and silent promises to see each other again.

Two weeks sounded like an awfully long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I promise they will kiss soon I'm frustrated too ><
> 
> Thank you for reading 🖤


	20. December : Week 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ! Ok a little update : I won't try to catch up with my initial schedule to post in real-time anymore. I realized I was putting way too much pressure on myself and writing became more stressful than fun at some point. I love regularity though, so I'm back to one chapter per week.
> 
> From now on I'll post a chapter every Friday around 6PM - 9PM CET !
> 
> Thank you for your patience 🖤

**One year ago**

_San was lying on Seonghwa's bed in his dorm room, cherishing the sight of white flakes falling in the night outside. He had always loved snow, perhaps because it never snowed where he lived, and he had always been forced to spend his winters there. Being able to witness the fields slowly disappearing under a layer of white was a gift life had offered to San when he had spent his first Christmas break at Beauxbatons. It had snowed every year ever since, and San had always been here to watch it, heart filled with silent gratitude toward his brother._

_San would always remember the first and only time Seonghwa had stood against their aunt._

_He had been starting his second year of school at that time, and the memory of his classmates talking animatedly about their school being covered by snow during the Christmas break the previous year had made him wonder. He had wished to be there too, admiring a snow he had never seen in his life, touching white flakes that had never melted against his skin._

_San remembered how he had suddenly begged his aunt to allow him more time at school, to stay there during the Christmas break. Even if Yunho and Jongho were his only friends and would go back home too, San had always felt safer at Beauxbatons._

_He had cried, and cried, begging his aunt to listen, trying to find a reason for her to accept his request. And San could have cried for hours on the spotless carpet of their living-room, nothing would have changed. She hadn’t cared about his tears._

_She would never care._

_But someone else cared enough for two._

_Seonghwa had picked San up from the floor and had kept him secured in his arms, stroking his hair and drying his tears as he talked to their aunt with his calm, controlled voice._

_A small smile spread on San's lips at the memory. No matter the reason, no matter the year, Seonghwa had always been his guardian angel. He would always be safe, as long as his brother was there._

_When the door of the bathroom opened and Seonghwa came back from his shower, San tore his eyes away from the window and rolled on his back to eye the ceiling._

_“Wanna hear something funny ?” he asked, already smiling to himself as many thoughts crossed his mind at once. He never talked much during the day, even less if Yunho wasn’t sharing his classes, but San loved talking. He loved sharing stories and useless anecdotes, loved seeing the smile on his loved ones’ faces when he told a good joke._

_Seonghwa waved him to continue and San happily complied. He talked about anything and everything, about his classes, about this guy from the Ciel dorm – Changbin, San actually remembered his name, he was one of Jongho’s friends – who had made his potion explode the previous week. He talked about the Christmas show, and his monologue might have lingered a bit too long about this guy who had the second role. Wooyoung. One of Yunho’s best friends._

_If Seonghwa noticed, he didn’t show it._

_Once Seonghwa’s hair was dried and perfectly slicked back, he sat on his roommate’s bed, keeping his attention on his brother. San started talking about his friends, and how much he missed them now that they were back home for the break._

_“Keep them close,” Seonghwa murmured._

_San stopped mid-sentence, eyebrows raised in surprise._

_“Huh ?”_

_“Yunho and Jongho,” Seonghwa clarified. “Keep them close.”_

_San couldn't control the accusing tone staining his voice when he answered. “Why aren’t_ you _keeping them close ?”_

_He didn’t receive any response, and he didn’t expect one. With just a few words, Seonghwa had managed to switch San’s entire mood for the day. The falling snowflakes didn’t look pretty anymore, and San didn’t feel like staying there any longer._

_He stood up, glaring at his brother who was now looking at his feet. It was frustrating. Deep down, San knew he was being childish and that his reaction was too impulsive. He could take a deep breath, sit down on the bed and ask for an explanation he would never have. He could drop the subject and act as if nothing had happened. He could be mature for once, and find a better way to react._

_But San was tired of trying. Each time the topic of their childhood friends’ was brought to the table, Seonghwa would react that way, the painful hole he had created in San’s heart digging deeper and deeper. San wasn’t even the one Seonghwa had hurt, but why was he always in so much pain ? He felt hopeless, lost._

_These were the moments San hated the most. When he could see Seonghwa walking further away from him, unable to hold his hand to bring him back, to keep him close. San couldn’t accept the fact he might be losing his brother._

_With a sigh, he looked away and walked to the door._

_“I’m going on a walk. See you at dinner.”_

_He closed the door behind him but didn't leave. Instead, he leaned against the door and let his back slide against it, until he was sitting on the floor. Silent tears blurred his vision and he closed his eyes to let them fall, too tired to fight._

**Tuesday 22, December**

Spending the Christmas break with Mingi and San was unusual, but a welcomed change. Just like every year, Wooyoung had offered Yeosang to come with him for the break and spend Christmas with the Jungs, but Yeosang had refused. He knew how much Wooyoung loved to stay alone with his mom from time to time, and he didn't want to ruin that.

He also secretly loved to stay at school for Christmas. For the past five years, he had gotten used to spending these two weeks doing nothing productive with Mingi, enjoying the simpler lifestyle and the cheerful moments shared with his friend.

Things were different now that San was there with them. Yeosang found himself talking a lot more openly about the books he had read recently, or the new flower species he had discovered. He had never felt the need to have an ear disposed to listen to him talking about the things he loved, but San having the same interests naturally brought their conversations to these kinds of topics. It was delightful.

Two and a half days had passed since their friends’ departure, and Mingi was already tired of hanging out with them. None of his roommates went home for the break, and Mingi ended up spending most of his afternoons with them instead.

“ _So you two can bond over plants_ ,” he had said the previous day, a mountain of snacks piled in his arms as he left Yeosang’s room.

San had snorted but hadn’t seemed to mind, happily sprawled on Wooyoung’s bed and flipping through the pages of one of Yeosang’s herbariums.

 _“Should I start one too ?”_ San had asked then.

Yeosang had simply shrugged.

_“Sure. I could help you.”_

And that was how they had added herbariums to their list of shared interests, Yeosang offering one of his blank album to San.

 _“See it as an early Christmas present,”_ Yeosang had insisted when San had stubbornly declined the offered item _five times_ – yes, it meant Yeosang had stubbornly asked San to take it five times too.

San had eventually given in and accepted Yeosang’s present. They hadn’t been able to work on it right away though, because it had started snowing and San had refused to move away from the window then, palms pressed against the pane as he stared at the gardens disappearing under a layer of white powder outside.

“You kissed him ?!”

Seonghwa’s voice tore Yeosang away from his thoughts.

He took back the fork he had abandoned next to his plate and allowed his mind to slowly come back to the present time. Stabbing a potato, he watched with amusement San’s eyes widening while a flush climbed fast on his cheeks.

“I _didn’t_ ,” San whisper-yelled.

If his goal was to keep their conversation from Yeosang and Mingi’s ears, then he was failing miserably. They were all sitting at the same table and the dining room was ridiculously empty during the break. Half of the usual tables weren’t even there. Yeosang would have heard even if San had whispered in his brother’s ear.

And Seonghwa had probably come to the same conclusion, because he didn’t make any effort to lower his tone.

“He found the courage to ask you to the Christmas ball and you still hadn’t kissed him ?! Please tell me you confessed.”

“I-I…”

The blush on San's face deepened and Yeosang hid a chuckle behind his napkin. As entertaining as it was, he decided to tune out the conversation after San spent a handful of seconds spluttering nonsense and trying to come up with a coherent answer. It wasn’t discreet, but it was still private. Yeosang would be the one dealing with an embarrassed San all afternoon anyway.

But yeah.

Park Seonghwa.

Apparently, San had gotten into the habit of sleeping in Seonghwa’s dorm room during the Christmas break, since Hongjoong usually went home at that time. Having new friends wouldn’t have changed anything, if San didn’t have _visions_ he was visibly trying to hide from his brother. Yeosang had no idea what excuse San had found, but he had managed to leave his brother alone to spend his nights in Yeosang’s room instead, along with Mingi.

Well, he had insisted on sleeping alone in his own empty room at first, but Yeosang had almost heard Wooyoung screaming in his head to take better care of his beloved, and there was no way Yeosang would let San sleep without a trustworthy person by his side. Mingi had been the one in charge of dragging his ass to Yeosang’s room and after dropping him on Wooyoung’s bed, San had fallen suspiciously silent. A couple of seconds later, he had lifted his head, cheeks as red as the hoodie Wooyoung had forgotten on his pillow, and he had shyly accepted to stay.

But San sleeping in Yeosang’s room also meant the time he usually spent with his brother was shortened. San hadn’t said anything, but the perpetual pout he had worn while looking at his brother eating by himself on the other side of the dining room had pushed Yeosang to take a controversial decision.

“ _Just tell him to eat with us_ ,” he had told San and both his eyes and Mingi's had opened wide.

Mingi had been the first one to react though, quickly assuring San that he didn’t mind either.

That was how Seonghwa had ended at their table not once, but twice, then three times, then he stayed for every meal.

Yeosang _still_ hated Seonghwa with every fiber of his body. He hated his stupid pretty face and his stupid manners, he hated the way he cut his meat, he hated how he secretly slid some of his own strawberries on San’s cake when his friend was looking away.

He mostly hated him for what he had done to Yunho – and Jongho. He would probably never be able to forgive him for that, not that Seonghwa even cared about Yeosang or Mingi. But despite his hatred for the man, Yeosang didn’t regret his decision. San looked happier now that his brother was sharing these moments at their table. 

It also allowed Yeosang to observe Seonghwa from up close. There was something weird about him, in the way he averted his eyes from Yeosang and Mingi, or how he acted as if they didn’t exist, still being polite when one of them asked for the salt or the pitcher of water on the other side of the table.

But San was doing worse. He wasn’t being weird or ignoring them, no.

He was lying.

Granted, _maybe_ Yeosang was exaggerating, maybe San wasn’t straight-out lying. Yeosang honestly hoped he was wrongly accusing his friend, but one thing was certain : San was hiding things from them and had been doing so for a while.

Ever since the beginning of the year.

Yeosang hadn’t thought about it much at first. Their friendship had still been fresh at the time, and San had only started to open up. But the days had passed, and San hadn’t talked. Doubt had grown in Yeosang’s mind and despite himself, he became wary.

Until he finally found what San might have been hiding.

He didn’t want to scare Mingi or any of his friends, and he wanted to give San some more time to talk by himself, but Yeosang _knew_. He was still unsure of the dots he had managed to connect, and he wanted to be certain of his assumptions before doing anything or talking to anyone, but if he was right…

Well. He simply hoped he wasn’t.

**Wednesday 23, December**

Dinner had passed a long time ago. Yeosang had unwillingly ended up in Mingi’s arms, his back nestled against his friend’s chest as they talked, both comfortably settled on Yeosang’s bed and waiting for San to come back from Seonghwa’s room.

“I think our little Woo got his heart stolen,” Mingi said when the topic of their conversation naturally turned toward the lovesick idiots of their group of friends.

Yeosang scrunched his nose in distaste. “They’re disgustingly cute. I hate them.”

“No you don’t,” Mingi laughed, placing his chin on top of Yeosang’s head. “You’re extremely happy for Wooyoung because you love him a lot.”

“I hate him the most.”

“Sure.”

Yeosang rolled his eyes at Mingi’s condescending tone, but he kept his mouth shut. A wide smile was already climbing on his lips because yes, he loved Wooyoung a lot and yes, he was extremely happy for him. He loved San a lot too, despite all those things trying to mess with his life and the secrets that were still kept in the dark.

Yeosang was glad these two found each other.

The door of the room creaked open and San finally graced them with his presence. His coat was covered with snow and Yeosang shivered at the sight, unconsciously snuggling closer to Mingi’s chest to keep himself warm.

San quickly waved at them as he kicked his shoes off and hung his coat on the coat rack and a second later, he was disappearing into the bathroom with his folded pajama.

“It’s so fucking late,” Yeosang complained, closing his eyes and letting the back of his head fall on Mingi’s shoulder.

“Merlin, _relax_. You’re so grumpy when you’re tired, it's hilarious.”

Yeosang would have thrown a perfectly fitted insult to Mingi's face if he wasn’t so exhausted. He settled with a pinch to Mingi’s calf instead, and grinned devilishly when his friend yelped in pain.

San came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, dressed for the night and smiling like the angel he _wasn’t_. 

“You said you would come back before curfew,” Yeosang reminded him when San climbed on Wooyoung’s bed.

“I did say that, but there’s no curfew during the break.”

The fucker _winked_ and Mingi snorted, finally letting Yeosang go.

“You’re insufferable,” Yeosang shook his head, turning away so the others wouldn’t see the amused smile on his lips. He climbed on Changbin’s bed and pulled the blanket over his body, head hitting his pillow in a second.

Since Yeosang and Wooyoung’s beds were already pushed together, they did the same with Changbin’s so they would all be able to sleep closer to each other. Mingi had claimed the middle bed – Yeosang’s – and San had stuck to Wooyoung’s. It didn’t matter much anyway because Mingi usually ended up with San in his arms on Wooyoung’s bed too, dragging Yeosang with him until he was sleeping on his own mattress.

San yawned loudly and tucked into his blanket, Mingi doing just the same. Yeosang was already dozing off.

“Good night,” Mingi whispered in his direction. Yeosang simply hummed, not having enough energy to answer properly anymore.

He heard San whispering a spell to turn the lights off, then a lot of rustling with the sheets and some giggles. San and Mingi continued to whisper and laugh between themselves for a while and on any other occasion, Yeosang would have thrown a cushion at them, but he didn’t have the heart to do so tonight. They had made the effort of being discreet this time, Yeosang couldn’t be mad at them.

They stopped at some point, and when the soothing sound of Mingi’s snores started to fill the room, Yeosang fell asleep.

He woke up later in the night to San whimpering in Mingi’s arms.

“What’s going on ?”

Mind foggy but heart on high alert, Yeosang sat up on his bed and moved closer to his friends, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness.

“I don’t know,” Mingi answered quietly. “He was doing weird sounds when I woke up, as if he was in pain. I took him in my arms without really thinking and he started crying.”

“Is he awake ?”

Yeosang was already climbing above Mingi to sit behind San on Wooyoung’s bed. One hand on San’s shoulder made him realize that his friend was trembling, body shaken by both shivers and quiet sobs.

“I think he is,” Mingi answered at last.

Yeosang couldn’t decide if this was a good thing or not. He gently stroked San’s shoulder while Mingi rubbed his back, San’s sobs filling the silence of the room. 

This was the kind of situation Yunho had experienced for _months_ since San visions started.

This was San’s life.

This knowledge had already weighed on Yeosang’s mind for the past few months, but now that he was faced with it, living it…

Yeosang retracted his hand. He got out of the bed and grabbed the sweater Mingi had lazily thrown on the floor last night, putting it on without thinking twice.

“What are you doing ?” Mingi called. “Hey ? Yeosang ?”

Yeosang ignored him. He walked to the door and hurriedly bent down to tie his shoes.

“Yeosang ?” Mingi repeated, his voice filled with worry this time.

Yeosang hastily threw a scarf around his neck and put on his coat. He saw Mingi sitting up, placing San on his lap, and he quickly turned on his heels before his friend could ask another question.

“I’m going to the restricted room.”

A startled gasp came from Mingi and San sobbed harder. Yeosang couldn't take it any longer. He had to search, and he needed to do it _now_. He opened the door, ignoring Mingi’s desperate attempts to stop him, and closed it behind him before he could change his mind.

He walked away then, determined to find something. _Anything_.

For San.

**Thursday 24, December**

Yeosang spent the rest of his night in Jongho’s room. As soon as he had put a foot in the castle after storming out of his dorm room in the middle of the night, he had realized how _stupid_ he had been. On top of going against something Wooyoung had expressly asked him not to do, he had almost been caught _three times_. The Christmas break wasn’t only made for students, and Yeosang might have forgotten this small detail. Professors had been walking everywhere around the castle despite the late hour, making it difficult for him to stay hidden.

It wasn’t the worst part though.

Yeosang fucking _stole_ about fifty newspapers and brought them back to the dorm with him. He wasn’t used to giving way to panic but the realization that he wouldn’t be able to come back there anytime soon mixed with San’s sobs resonating in his mind, pushed him to take this foolish decision.

He hadn’t dared going back to his own room, too ashamed of himself for ignoring Mingi and all the mess that had followed. He knew Jongho’s room would be empty and ran there, glad to see no ghost had been lurking in the common room to report his nocturnal getaway. He was now sprawled on what he hoped was Jongho’s bed, newspapers scattered across the mattress and a notebook on his lap.

From his recent readings and after connecting some dots, Yeosang concluded Anna’s family had asked the news to stop mentioning her name, which wasn’t so surprising. Many articles kept referring to Caliroesis for the next two years, lots of stories strangely similar to Anna’s – people lost in the woods, no memory of what could have happened, money on their kitchen’s table. There was nothing to prove Caliroesis was involved though. No note, no witnesses, no evidence. Anna Marchon stayed the only bearer of this word on her palm.

But something was weird.

The events just… stopped, about seven years ago. No more updates on missing people, no more discoveries. Many issues of _Le Cri de la Gargouille_ from the following years continued to mention Caliroesis, but the articles weren’t important. Just some stories from the past to fill the pages, several interviews, lots of theories… But nothing new.

Yeosang had enough knowledge in the Auror field to know what could possibly be happening : the case had been purposely hidden from the public’s eyes. It meant that Yeosang’s research would be forced to a stop. He would never be able to find more than what he already knew in _Le Cri de la Gargouille_ , even with each issue of each year, even with all the articles mentioning Caliroesis.

He sighed, putting the cap back on his pencil and leaning against the bed frame.

This was too big for them. Too big for San. Yeosang loved digging into weird information and discovering disturbing things about people but this… This wasn’t fun anymore. This was terrifying. And Yeosang knew they should stop trying to look into this, they should talk to their professors, they should turn around and never look back… But they couldn’t. They _couldn’t_.

 _San_ couldn’t.

Yeosang closed his eyes for a moment, a knot forming in his stomach. If they couldn’t run, then they had to face it. They had to find something, they had to stop this. But they needed more information, they needed the _hidden_ information and for that, Yeosang needed to call his sis-

“Found you.”

Yeosang jumped at the sound of Mingi’s voice, eyes opening in an instant. He didn’t hear the door opening, neither did he see his friend entering the room, but now Mingi was walking toward the bed, a tiny smile on his lips. He sat on the other side of the mattress and glanced at the many newspapers still scattered on the sheets.

Yeosang sucked in a breath. Mingi wasn’t supposed to find him. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and now he wasn’t talking, and what was Yeosang supposed to do ? Apologize for ignoring him last night ? Explain why he had left so fast ? Find an excuse for the stolen newspapers, ask for mercy so he wouldn’t say anything to Wooyoung ?

In the end, he didn’t need to do any of these because Mingi simply sighed and brought his long leg to the bed to sit more comfortably, knees against his chest.

“What’s new ?” he asked, gesturing to the notebook on Yeosang’s lap.

Yeosang almost sighed in relief. He didn’t want to talk about his stupid actions and Mingi must have felt it. With a grateful smile, Yeosang hastened to answer.

“Nothing much, it’s always the same. They disappear and there’s a lot of money in their house, either on the kitchen table or in the middle of their living room.”

Mingi raised an eyebrow.

“Yeosang.”

“Mmh ?”

Uh. Yeosang didn’t like that look. Mingi was staring at him, _scrutinizing_ his face. 

“You’re not telling me everything.”

Well. Fuck Mingi and his ability to see right through him. Yeosang tried to hide his unease behind a fake cough and pressed his palms on his knees to keep his hands steady. If he started curling his stupid hair around his finger, Mingi would immediately know how nervous Yeosang actually was.

“I think this ‘Caliroesis’ case has been hidden from the public seven years ago. Two years after Anna’s story. There’s no new article, no disappearance, nothing. There’s no way the case had been closed at that time, so I guess it has been classified.”

Mingi’s eyes opened wide before a frown formed on his forehead. “That’s… Ok that’s pretty big, right ? If it’s hidden, it means the case is a big one ?”

“Not necessarily.” Yeosang took the pen he had abandoned in front of him and started playing with it to keep his fingers busy. “Someone could have asked Aurors to stop spreading information publicly. This person would need one hell of a good reason for that though. But yeah, it could also mean the case became too weighty to be shown in a daily newspaper.”

The pencil slipped from Yeosang’s grasp and fell on the floor, the sound resonating in the silent room. Mingi was staring at him again.

“Yeosang,” he sighed. “Just say it. If you keep it to yourself, it’ll eat you up.”

Yeosang tried his best not to visibly gulp. He nodded, slowly, unsure of how much he was supposed to say. He did find more, more about Caliroesis, more about San and Seonghwa. He couldn’t tell Mingi everything, but he could start with what he knew was true.

He took a deep breath, and finally allowed himself to curl a strand of hair around his finger.

“There’s… One woman had been found a few weeks after disappearing, just like Anna. She looked okay, healthy and all, but she couldn’t remember anything.”

“Anything ?”

“Anything. As in, nothing ever since she was a teenager.”

A tense silence followed his words. If they weren’t alone in the room, sitting barely a meter away from each other, Yeosang would have thought Mingi hadn’t heard him. But he knew better. The corner of Mingi’s lips trembled, and he tightened his hold around his legs, bringing his knees closer.

He was scared.

“That’s…” Mingi cleared his throat, hesitant. “That’s terrifying.”

He was visibly trying to control himself to not freak out, and Yeosang suddenly wished Yunho was there to hold him and reassure him. Yeosang was shit at that. He tried though, placing a gentle hand on Mingi’s forearm and giving it a light squeeze.

“Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t ha-”

“No, it’s important,” Mingi cut him. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment, before his gaze fell back on Yeosang. “It’s better if you keep sharing everything you find. You shouldn’t bear this weight on your own shoulders, we’re in this together, right ? For San.”

He managed a tiny smile that made Yeosang feel a bit better about the situation. Only a bit though. Because while he did talk about his recent discovery, he was still keeping his suspicions about _San_ to himself. He knew he would have to talk to someone else at some point, but not now, not until he was one hundred percent sure.

Once he was sure Mingi could manage to hear more, Yeosang let go of his arm and put his hands back on his lap.

“From what I could gather, this woman’s memory loss was the worst one, out of all the people who had been found.” Yeosang turned a page of his notebook, frowning as he tried to remember what he had scribbled there while reading. “Mmh yeah, most of them couldn’t remember anything past the three previous years. Some less, some more. One guy lost five years of memory.”

He glanced at Mingi and was glad to see his friend seemed slightly better now, the worried expression on his face replaced by a serious, attentive one. Yeosang sighed and closed his notebook.

“That’s it. Now we’re stuck again.”

Yeosang lowered his head, hating how defeated he sounded. He felt Mingi move on the mattress and a second later, a gentle hand was patting his head.

“You did an amazing job Yeosang. We’re lucky to have you and your sexy brain.”

Yeosang huffed, but the comment made him smile.

“Okay, now take a break,” Mingi said, suddenly standing up.

Yeosang blinked, confused, but before he could protest, he was taken away from the bed and thrown over Mingi’s shoulder like a pitiful bag of potatoes.

“ _What the fuck_ , let me g-”

“I can’t,” Mingi cut, carefully bending down to gather the newspaper into a neat pile with the hand that wasn’t keeping Yeosang steady on his shoulder. “I’m the one in charge of taking care of you while Wooyoung’s away.”

“What kind of bullsh-”

“He asked me to. And so far, I’m doing an awful job.”

Yeosang was about to complain about being interrupted twice in a row, but Mingi’s comment stopped him in his tracks. He raised an eyebrow, bewildered.

“Wooyoung asked me to take care of San.”

The choked sound coming from Mingi’s throat made Yeosang chuckle and he decided to accept his fate, finally letting his arms fall numbly behind Mingi’s back.

“How come I’m doing worse than you,” Mingi grumbled as he added Yeosang’s notebook to the pile of newspapers.

“You're a mess, but Wooyoung is a bigger mess for thinking it would be a good idea to put me in your hands. I’ll make this break a living hell for you.”

He could easily imagine the toothy-grin on Mingi’s lips as his friend tucked all of Yeosang’s research tools under his free arm.

“I don’t doubt it. Come on, let’s steal San away from his brother, I wanna go eat cookies.”

**Friday 25, December**

Christmas Day. If Mingi hadn’t started the day jumping on every bed of the room screaming _‘Merry Christmas !’_ , it wouldn’t have even crossed Yeosang’s mind.

He didn’t care much about Christmas. His parents had always been busy at this time of the year, just like Wooyoung’s, so it was nothing but a normal day for them.

It became slightly more interesting once Mingi and Yeosang became friends. It had always been the two of them staying at Beauxbatons for the break, and that was how Yeosang had discovered the joy and fun of Christmas. It was still unimportant for him, but exchanging presents and eating more food than usual, Mingi’s good mood added to all of it somehow made it exciting enough.

San didn’t seem to care about it either, which was slightly reassuring because Yeosang wouldn’t have been able to deal with two kids as excited as Mingi today.

They were currently eating their special Christmas lunch – Yeosang was digging in his _third_ starter – when a maid-fairy approached their table, a pile of letters in her arms.

“I think these are for you,” she informed with a cheerful tone, putting the letters in the middle of their table. “Have a nice day !”

San and Mingi shouted a bunch of nice words as she retreated with a smile before they rushed to rummage through the mail. Yeosang counted twelve envelopes. Two of them came from Mingi’s family, the others were from their friends, which meant Jongho, Yunho and Wooyoung had all written one letter for each of them. The last one… seemed to be from Jongho, for Seonghwa. The Eighth Year didn’t move though, and San took it for him instead, sliding it in the inside pocket of his jacket.

“I know I keep saying I want a smartphone but nothing can beat the feeling of receiving a letter,” Mingi said as he pushed his empty plate aside to put his five envelopes in front of him.

Yeosang scoffed. “Owls can’t reach your villa properly and you think a phone would actually work ?”

“You’re only saying that because you’re a Pureblood with a conservative mind who can’t accept that Muggles created something more effective than owls and letters.”

San snorted behind his napkin and Yeosang could swear he saw the corner of Seonghwa’s lips twitching up. He chose to ignore them, as well as Mingi’s comment, and tried to hold his head high despite the flush climbing on his cheeks.

Mingi was right. Yeosang couldn’t understand how these damn things – smartphones – worked, and he was tired of his Muggleborns classmates always eager to show the ‘last features’ of theirs or easily contacting their parents. Mingi not having one was honestly a relief. He would have rubbed it in Yeosang’s face otherwise, and the stupid thing would have _accidentally_ ended up in the fireplace of the Ciel dorm.

They read their letters while digging into the main dish, a pleasant silence settling at their table. San broke it once in a while with a cute snort as he read Jongho’s letter, keeping Wooyoung’s aside for now. After a few minutes, Mingi burst out laughing in front of Yunho’s letter, and Yeosang’s lips naturally twitched up while he read his too.

He already missed his friends. Two weeks wasn’t that long, but living in nearly empty dorms and walking down the hallways of the castle without Yunho and Wooyoung – and now Jongho too – felt weird. Yeosang was grateful for Mingi and San’s presence by his side.

After Mingi helped himself with more pommes dauphine twice and Yeosang was done reading his three letters, San eventually opened the envelope coming from Wooyoung. His cheeks were already tinted with pink as he slightly moved backward with his chair, the letter firmly secured between his fingers.

Yeosang almost suggested him to read it later or somewhere else, the poor boy obviously wanted some discretion, but San was already starting his reading. He looked away then, giving his friend some privacy.

His eyes fell on Seonghwa, who had stayed silent for most of their lunch since San hadn’t talked much with him, too busy with his letters. His plate was empty apart from some parsley he had left on the side, his cutlery neatly placed next to his folded napkin. The more time Yeosang spent curiously watching the older, the more disturbing he seemed.

Everything about him was perfect. _Too_ _perfect_. Every move seemed cautious, calculated, as if he was trapped in his bubble of perfection, unable to act or speak freely, unable to smile, unable to _live_. And this wasn’t _normal_.

Yeosang hadn’t been friends with the Seonghwa from the past, but Yunho had talked about him, Jongho had talked about him. Hell, even _Wooyoung_ had talked about him. Changing so much and for no evident reason in just two months was too suspicious for Yeosang to let it slide.

Even more now that he could have glimpses of this Seonghwa from the past.

Just like now, in the way he looked at his little brother with pure fondness, his lips twitching up as San’s smile grew each passing second while reading Wooyoung’s letter, or the way he broke into a genuine smile when San giggled. It made him look real. More human. It proved something was wrong with him. The real Seonghwa was _here_ , smiling at his brother.

What could have happened for him to change so much ?

“Who’s princess ?” San suddenly asked, startling Yeosang in the middle of his thoughts.

“Huh ?”

San pointed at his letter.

“Wooyoung says he forgot to ask me to take care of his princess. Who is his princess ?”

He didn’t look upset or sad. Just curious.

“Oh.” Mingi giggled, sliding a hand behind his neck. “That would be me.”

San’s eyebrows perked up. “You ?” He paused for a second, looking down at the letter. A smile crept on his lips and he looked up again. “Can I call you princess too then ? Or is that a Wooyoung thing ?”

Mingi’s cheeks turned crimson in a matter of seconds.

“N-no you can,” he stuttered, visibly avoiding San’s eyes.

Yeosang had always taken pleasure in seeing his friends flustered, and he couldn’t suppress a chuckle at Mingi’s visible embarrassment. He wasn’t a monster though, and before his friend’s cheeks exploded, he came to his rescue with a small explanation.

“He absolutely loves it. You’d make him the happiest man alive using this nickname, it's just that Wooyoung is the only one really used to do it.”

“Noted.”

San brought his chair back to the table, folding the paper and putting it in his jacket, along with Jongho’s letter for Seonghwa. He kept his own letters from Jongho and Yunho aside, neatly placed beside his empty plate.

“Don't worry princess,” he said then, a huge smile brightening his face. “I'll keep you safe."

He giggled when Mingi hid behind his hands with a whine, and a few seconds later, they were loudly bickering over potatoes and green beans.

Yeosang smiled to himself, looking down at the letter he had received from Wooyoung. Somehow, his best friend had asked each of them to take care of the other while he was away. It was stupid because they would naturally be there for one another, but the gesture was… Well, it was so _Wooyoung_. He was annoying.

Yeosang’s smile grew bigger and he hid it behind his hand as he watched Mingi and San battle in an intense match of rock, paper, scissors.

Fuck Wooyoung and his ability to be the best friend in the world, even from a distance. Fuck his annoying ass and fuck his big heart.

Yeosang missed him.

\----------

San had spent most of the afternoon sprawled on his – Wooyoung’s – bed, reading Wooyoung’s letter over and over. Yeosang was certain he would be able to recite it by heart at this point, and he couldn’t decide if the constant smile on San’s face was annoying or endearing.

And he had always thought Wooyoung was the lovesick one. Bullshit. They were both completely gone on each other and disgustingly cute and _tiring_.

Mingi had left Yeosang alone with the pining boy to celebrate Christmas with his fellow Muggleborn friends in the Soleil dorm. It happened every year and Yeosang had always been fine with it, but he had never had to deal with _San_ grinning like an idiot and sighing every three seconds staring at a piece of paper.

After the umpteenth giggle of the afternoon, Yeosang had had enough.

“Let’s go out for a walk, I want to show you something.”

For the first time in hours, San looked up to meet Yeosang’s eyes.

“Outside ?” He glanced at the window, a frown instantly forming on his forehead. “Sang, it's snowing like crazy.”

The nickname seemed to have slipped out because he clasped a hand against his mouth in an instant, eyes widening. Yeosang chuckled, moving away from Yeonjun’s bed to rummage through the wardrobe he shared with his roommates. He didn’t mind the nickname, even if he was as surprised as San by its sudden use. He put a brown sweater over the shirt he had been wearing all day and walked back to Wooyoung’s bed.

“I’m aware,” he simply said, choosing to stay silent about the nickname thing. He took Wooyoung’s red hoodie that was _still_ laying on the bed and threw it at San’s face. “Wear that with your white coat, you’ll survive.”

San didn’t seem convinced. He had finally let go of the letter but was now staring at Wooyoung’s red hoodie with a frown.

“You’re sure he wouldn’t mind ? It’s his favorite one.”

Yeosang suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. If only San knew. Yeosang could already hear Wooyoung rambling about how his hoodie now smelled like roses and chamomile and sunshine and happiness and yeah no maybe giving the hoodie to San wasn’t a great idea after all.

It was too late though, because San was already putting the damn hoodie on.

“Where are we going ?” he asked after carefully placing Wooyoung’s letter on Yeosang’s bedside table.

He caught the coat Yeosang threw his way and wrapped a scarf around his neck – Yeosang was pretty sure this one was Wooyoung’s too – before bending down to put his shoes on.

Yeosang wrapped up warmly by the door, smiling under his own scarf. “Not telling.”

San slightly pouted, but he didn’t ask more questions. Once Yeosang had forced him to put his hood on, they left the dorm to confront the cold.

The snow was still falling. It was already late into the afternoon and judging by the gloomy color of the clouds, the night wouldn’t take much longer to fall. They needed to hurry, the sight would be ruined in the dark.

San was already sniffling when they left the gardens and skirted the castle to cross the fields. Yeosang cursed himself for not wearing an extra pair of socks, feeling his toes slowly going numb in his shoes. It didn’t help that they seemed to be the first idiots to walk in this field ever since it started snowing, the layer of snow thick under their feet. They kept sinking in it and after Yeosang slipped for the _third_ time, San offered him his arm. Grateful, and just slightly embarrassed, Yeosang slid his arm around San’s and they continued their walk in silence.

They walked along the forest for a few minutes, away from the pond - lake ? - their entire school was so scared of for some reason, then Yeosang came to a stop.

He pulled his arm away from San’s grip to take his hand instead, leading him inside the forest, but not too far from the field.

“Okay, I trust you but I’m not gonna lie, I’m a bit scared right now.”

Yeosang chuckled at San’s sudden confession, but there was no need for him to answer. They were here.

He let go of San’s hand and gently pushed him forward.

“Wh-”

San stopped before the word fully passed his lips. He sucked on a breath, staring at the sight in front of them with wide eyes.

“Yeosang…”

Careful, he took a few steps forward and crouched down. Yeosang smiled, coming to stand by San’s side.

“I don’t know their name,” he confessed as San brushed a gloved finger against the petal of the blue flower in front of him. “I found them a few years ago, it was snowing too. I think they only bloom under the snow, I never saw them otherwise.”

He lifted his head to look at the multitude of blue flowers piercing through the layer of snow between the trees. He liked this place. The calm of the forest mixed with the sight of snowflakes silently falling on the ground was soothing.

“They’re so pretty…” San breathed out, drawing his fingers away from the flower to look around him. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

He looked up to meet Yeosang’s eyes and they both smiled, before gazing back at the scenery.

Yeosang didn't exactly know what pushed him to say the next words out loud. 

“Don’t break his heart,” he murmured, looking down at his feet.

He didn't mention who, didn't explain any further, but San seemed to understand. He crossed his arms on his chest to keep himself warm, eyes falling back to the flower in front of him. 

“Why would I do that ?”

Yeosang sighed. He crouched down next to San, hands flat against his knees.

“I don’t know. No, I know you won’t. I just feel like this is something I’m supposed to say, as Wooyoung’s best friend maybe. I trust you though. I even have more faith in you than him.”

The last part made San snort, and Yeosang smiled too. He wasn’t used to blurting things out without thinking, but maybe this had been ticking over in his mind for some time, without him even noticing. Now that the words were out, Yeosang was glad San hadn’t taken it personally.

“I would never break his heart intentionally,” San comforted. “I… I care for him. A lot. He’s important to me.”

“I know.”

“Not to be sappy or anything, but you’re important to me too, Yeosang.” San's gaze left the flower to meet Yeosang's. “Mingi as well. I’m glad I got to meet you.”

His eyes were sincere. Full of warmth and genuine fondness. He was being honest.

Yeosang hoped he could convey the same sincerity with his small smile.

“I'm glad I met you too, San. And Jongho. You guys are both amazing friends.”

San’s smile was as sincere as his eyes. His gaze dropped to Yeosang’s shoulder for a second, before it came back to Yeosang’s face, a slight pout formed on his lips. He seemed hesitant to do something. Yeosang blinked a few times, confused, until he finally understood what was happening.

Suppressing a laugh, he opened his arms wide.

The face of his friend brightened in a second and he crashed into Yeosang’s arms, almost making them both fall in the snow. Yeosang kept them steady though, closing his arms around San's snowy frame.

“Thank you for trusting me,” San whispered against his shoulder. “Thank you for being there.”

The words tugged on Yeosang's heart, urging him to hug San closer.

Who cared if San was lying. Who cared if he had secrets he shouldn’t keep to himself. 

He had a great heart. He was a good person. An amazing friend.

He made Wooyoung happy.

Whatever he was hiding, Yeosang wanted to believe San had good reasons to do so. He wanted to trust San.

He would always trust San.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading 🖤  
> Twitter & Tumblr : steolftero


	21. December : Week 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week with our dear Yeosang  
> Enjoy 🖤

_To my Woo,_

_So… I'm really bad at writing letters, Jongho and Yunho usually make fun of me for that, I hope this one won't be too awkward. I'll put a lot of heart into it and Yeosang is sitting right beside me so I feel smarter for some reason._

_I hope you're doing well. Did you finally get to eat this strawberry charlotte you kept whining about ? Are you taking care of yourself ? Are you dressing warmly enough and using proper Heating Charms ? If you come back sick I swear I'll make you regret it._

_Oh, remember when you said you hoped Yeosang wouldn't become my new favorite friend ? Well, both Mingi and Yeosang are taking that title. I started an herbarium with Yeosang (‘started’ is a big word, there's no flower in sight to actually do anything right now, but I wrote my name on the first page so that's something) and I keep asking Mingi to cuddle with me. He must be tired of me... But he's warm and nice and fun to be with, and I can't live without cuddles. Mingi's hugs are so nice. Mingi is so nice._

_Should I make a ranking of my friends’ hugs or is that weird ? It’s weird, right ? Right. Let’s just say Jongho is still my number one but… I miss your hugs the most, Wooyoung._

_(I also hugged Yeosang ! You told me his hugs were cute and I’m sorry for telling you this wasn’t a thing. This is totally a thing, Yeosang’s hugs are the cutest.)_

_(And don't worry, this ‘new favorite friend’ thing is not real. Not that you would be worried, or maybe you would, I don't know but... Yeah.)_

_I miss you. An awful lot, if I'm being honest._

_Yeosang allowed me to wear your red hoodie, I hope you don't mind… I wanted to keep it a secret but I felt bad using it behind your back, so now you know, and I'm slightly embarrassed. I'll keep wearing it though, because you probably won't have enough time to send me another letter, meaning you won't have any way to stop me !_

_It keeps snowing here and I love walking under the snow, but I wish you'd be there with me. I miss holding your hand. Is that too much ? Huh, maybe that was too much. It's already written anyway, and it's not a secret, right ? I like holding your hands. Come back soon so we can walk in the snow together..._

_But not too soon because your mom loves you and I'm sure she's happy to have you home. Tell her I say hi ! Wait, no. This was definitely too much, I don't even know her oh Merlin. Sorry, forget it. I told you, I'm bad with letters I just write without thinking._

_I'll stop here then. I think we're late for lunch and Yeosang is now tapping his foot by the door (testing his patience is really fun). I don't want to be lectured_ again _by your best friend so I'll go._

_Take care Wooyoungie._

_Your Sannie_

**Monday 28, December**

“Jongho sent me another letter,” San informed, closing the door of Yeosang's room behind him.

Sitting cross-legged on his bed, Yeosang was busy spreading a homemade face mask on Mingi’s skin while listening to his friend talking about his little sister and how one of her best friends had fainted after their snowball fight the other day. They both turned to observe San as he joined them on the bed, a piece of white paper carefully kept between his thumb and forefinger.

Yeosang had wondered what the letter could be about, but he hadn't lingered on it for too long. San had simply frowned when the maid-fairy handed him the envelope during breakfast, and he hadn't opened it right away. He had politely declined Yeosang's offer to take care of his skin and disappeared with Seonghwa once their plates were empty. Now, it was almost time for lunch.

“Is that a bad thing?” Mingi asked, keeping the motion of his lips to the bare minimum so the mixture on his face would dry prettily.

San frowned, lowering the letter on his lap.

“I’m not sure, it's just weird. He visited my grandparents, since they’re neighbors and all, and apparently they received a letter from Seonghwa a few weeks ago. Like, an odd one ? Jongho didn't give me the details because he didn't have them himself, but according to what my grandma told him, it sounded like Hwa was saying goodbye or something, as if he was leaving somewhere.”

“Do you know if that's the case ? Is he planning on living abroad once he graduates or something ?”

San shook his head at Yeosang's question. His hold on the letter tightened and the paper crumpled quietly under the pressure of his fingers.

“He doesn't talk much about his future, but I thought I knew… He would have told me if he was planning on leaving… Right ?”

The question didn't seem directed to anyone but himself. The frown on his face kept deepening.

“San, you should really have a talk with him,” Yeosang advised, putting a gentle hand on San's wrist. “I don't want to pry and I’m in no place to decide what you should do with your own brother, but there's a lot left unsaid between both of you and talking might be the appropriate thing to do right now. And about the visions and nosebleeds as well... Maybe he knows something that would help.”

San kept his head low for a moment. He stayed quiet, the tip of his fingers turning white where he held the paper, the crumpling sound slightly unsettling now. The intensity of his glare would have buried a hole in the letter if it could, and Yeosang figured leaving him alone to deal with his own thoughts would be preferable.

To his surprise though, San abruptly lifted his head and _smiled_.

“Yeah. I should.”

With that, he folded the letter and slid it in the pocket of his black hoodie. An instant later, he was trying to make Mingi laugh, poking his cheek with an evil grin and acting as if they had just talked about the weather.

It felt so wrong. The fake smile San had just offered them stayed glued into Yeosang's mind, gripping at his thoughts and preventing him from letting go.

Yeosang knew this look. It was the one Wooyoung always had while assuring he would clean his stuff. The same look people used to reassure their loved ones, purposely knowing they were lying.

San wasn't going to talk to Seonghwa. 

And if Yeosang’s suspicions were correct, perhaps he could understand why.

The darkness of the unknown seemed more reassuring than the blinding light of truth.

**Tuesday 29, December**

This morning had been _tiring_.

When Yeosang had woken up two hours before their usual breakfast time, he had locked himself up in the bathroom and had taken advantage of his alone time to take a long shower and do his upgraded skincare routine. Once done, he had tried to wake his friends up, to no avail. San had whined loudly when Yeosang had dared take his blanket away to force him up, and he had nestled against Mingi’s body to keep himself warm. Without opening his eyes, Mingi had slid his arms around San, and a few seconds later they had both gone back to sleep.

Yeosang had been so frustrated, he ended up eating breakfast by himself.

Well. With _Seonghwa_ as well, which should have been weird but neither of them seemed to be the talkative type, so thankfully it hadn’t been too awkward. Just weird.

When Yeosang had made his way back into his dorm room with two croissants wrapped in a napkin, his friends were still snuggling on his bed, no blanket in sight. _Maybe_ Yeosang had found them cute enough to let them sleep.

They were now walking in the deserted hallways of their school, heading to the library following San's request to work on their assignments.

Despite the extended night, San seemed exhausted. Lunch had passed without any issue, San had laughed and eaten like he usually did, but now that they were crossing the castle, he clearly looked like he could collapse with a poke on his shoulder. Mingi had noticed it too. He kept glancing at their friend with worried eyes. They should turn around and go back to the dorm. San needed a nap, or a glass of cold water thrown at his face.

San probably caught on to the growing concern surrounding him, because he started talking about random things as they walked, the fake smile from yesterday back on his face.

 _‘Fake it till you make it’_ people said, right ?

San didn’t make it.

Once they reached the top of some stairs, he stopped and brought a trembling hand to his head.

“Hey, I think…” He flinched, his body swaying strangely toward Mingi. “I think I need to sit down…”

The next second, he was crumbling on the floor.

“San !”

Yeosang rushed to his friend, Mingi not far behind.

“San. San ! Can you hear me ?” Yeosang urgently patted his cheeks as Mingi slid an arm behind their friend’s neck to keep him in a sitting position. “San !”

“Y-yeah… Yeah.”

San blinked a few times, eyes completely out of focus. He tried to straighten himself up but his arms gave up under his weight and he crashed back against Mingi’s hold with a sigh.

“I… Sorry, do you have any tissue ?” he asked to no one in particular, voice weak and quivering. A layer of sweat was already dripping on his forehead.

Mingi was quick to meet San’s need and when the blue tissue was in their friend’s hand, blood started to flow out of his nose. San hastily put the piece of fabric above his mouth to catch the bleeding, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Thank you,” he breathed out, the vulnerability of his tone tugging on Yeosang's heart.

The next few minutes were spent in silence. San eventually gave up on trying to keep his eyes open, and his hand fell limp on his side. The tissue dropped on his lap but Yeosang hastened to put it back under San's nose. His friend barely acknowledged the gesture, muttering a few words Yeosang couldn't catch on under the tissue.

They were lucky the hallways were still empty, no student deciding to take a walk in this part of the school or worse, _professors_. Yeosang was too concerned for his friend to think about any excuse he could give if they happened to be caught. He truly hoped their luck wouldn't run out.

While Yeosang busied himself with the tissue, occasionally taking it away to see if the nosebleed had stopped, Mingi took a seat behind San to keep him up with his whole body instead of his arm. San immediately leaned against his chest, and the simple movement was the only proof that San was still conscious and alive.

He looked _drained_ , as if all his energy kept leaving his body with the blood coming out of his nose. Yeosang didn’t doubt the comfort of Mingi’s body, but San clearly needed to lie down on a bed to rest now.

A light tap on his wrist forced Yeosang to focus back on his friend. San eyelids were half opened, his hands weakly gripping at Yeosang's wrist.

“It stopped,” he murmured, his hand falling again.

Yeosang took the tissue away from San's face and purposely ignored San's grimace when they both saw the state of the fabric. Without a comment, Yeosang cast a cleaning spell on it - and on his own fingers - before pocketing it. Mingi cleaned San's face with the same spell.

“No infirmary please,” San croaked so quietly Yeosang would have missed it if he wasn’t sitting right in front of him.

“Okay. Let’s take a nap then.”

Yeosang tried to give his friend a supportive smile, teasingly ruffling his hair. He stood up when Mingi worked on helping San up, and they both circled their friend’s waist with an arm to keep him steady.

They knew San didn't like to talk about his nosebleeds. This wasn't the first time one happened in front of them, but they had never witnessed San being so vulnerable, body so weak and _suffering_. Yeosang knew the images would stay in his mind for a while. He tried to ignore the knot that had formed in his stomach and focused on their walk back to the dorm.

\---------

San woke up a few hours later, when the night started falling and their room slowly filled with darkness. Yeosang hadn't bothered switching any light up. He didn't feel like reading today, and he wasn't focused enough to study. San's muffled whines grabbed his attention and he turned his gaze away from the window to look at his friends.

San was still nestled against Mingi’s chest, both lying on Wooyoung’s bed. Mingi had fallen asleep a few minutes after San when they had settled there some hours ago, and Yeosang wondered just _how long_ these two had talked and giggled dumbly while he was asleep the previous night. He clearly needed to have a talk with them about sleeping schedules, Christmas break or not.

When San’s eyes fluttered open, Yeosang moved from Changbin’s bed to sit on his own. With a reassuring smile, he met San’s confused gaze.

“How are you feeling ?” he asked softly, careful not to rush him or wake Mingi up.

San blinked a few times, palms still flat against Mingi’s chest. He frowned, then looked at Mingi, then back at Yeosang, before realization seemed to hit him. He closed his eyes and sighed, pressing his forehead against Mingi for a moment.

“I’m fine,” he eventually muttered. “Sorry for worrying you.”

He slowly backed away and detached himself from their friend's grip to sit on the bed, facing Yeosang. He sighed again, looking up at the ceiling.

“I’m also sorry for the ‘no infirmary’ thing. I… I really think I shouldn’t talk about it to anyone else but you guys. I don’t want to alert any professors until we know more and going to the infirmary again would raise some suspicions.”

He lowered his head and his gaze fell back on Yeosang.

That was it. The last push Yeosang needed to finally come to terms with his own thoughts, to finally accept he had been right all along, that his suspicions were correct.

A lump formed in his throat as he held San’s gaze, realizing just how much this meant.

It was bad. It was _really_ bad.

With a heavy heart, Yeosang reached out and took San’s hand. He held it tightly and squeezed it once, then twice. He had no idea if San knew that he knew, but he needed to show him he was there, just as Yeosang himself needed to know San was here too, alive, and safe.

Maybe he was being stupid for trusting San. Maybe this was his dumbest decision. Maybe this would all come crashing down on them later. No, Yeosang was certain this _would_ all come crashing down at some point. He was trusting San, but this was his choice to do so. Would his friends do the same ? They all genuinely loved San, but how much trust could people put in someone lying to them all the time ? For how long ?

Were secrets really meant to protect ?

No matter how many times these questions had crossed Yeosang’s mind, he still couldn’t answer.

He brushed them aside then, and simply smiled.

“Things will get better San. Things _always_ get better.”

**Wednesday 30, December**

Yeosang did give a talk to Mingi and San about sleeping schedules, and they had both sulked like petulant kids when he had forced them to go to sleep two hours after curfew. Mingi had woken up way too early this morning as a result of his extra hours of sleep, and he had gone ahead for breakfast, too hungry to wait for his friends. Yeosang had taken his time with his skincare routine then, so San could enjoy his last minutes of rest. 

San had _clearly_ needed the extra hours of sleep and now that he was awake, Yeosang was delighted to see his friend visibly looked better. Colors were back on his cheeks, as well as the little spark of light in his eyes. After the events of the previous day, seeing him smiling and humming happily as they crossed the gardens was reassuring. Yeosang hoped life would allow him some peace today, San deserved to breathe…

...But his hopeful thoughts fell along with San’s smile when they entered the dining room.

Every single head turned in their direction, every eye boring into theirs.

Mingi was staring at them too, a nervous frown plastered on his face.

Yeosang’s blood turned cold. He almost ran to cross the room, San not too far behind, and Mingi silently slid _Le Cri de la Gargouille_ in their direction once they reached the table.

Yeosang's heart stopped beating when he read the headline.

“No…”

He turned the page, tried to read the article. Panicked tears were already forming in his eyes, blurring his vision. 

“No no no…”

His hands were trembling but he couldn't let go of the newspaper, gripping it as his teary eyes read the short text in front of him. Once, then twice. Then over and over, until he couldn’t see anything through the tears.

“This can't be… No…”

“What is it ? Sang what's going on ?” San's unusually high-pitched voice pierced through Yeosang's disoriented thoughts, the worry in his tone making everything stronger, more real. Too real.

He choked on a sob, allowing Mingi to take him in his arms.

This couldn’t be real.

“Yeosang ?”

San’s voice was shaking. He slowly took the newspaper, but Mingi answered before he could read anything.

“There has been another attack,” he started, bringing Yeosang closer when he sobbed louder. “It happened in Yeosang and Wooyoung's neighborhood.”

**Saturday 2, January**

The article was too vague.

It didn’t state which family had been touched, how many victims had been found, how many disappeared. There were five residences in Yeosang’s neighborhood, including Wooyoung’s mansion and his own. His parents weren’t there around this time of the year, and they usually sent most of their personnel home to enjoy the holidays with their own families while they were away. In any other circumstance, Yeosang would have been worried sick for his parents, but with so few people in his mansion and considering how the attacks seemed to be against people rather than goods, he doubted his family had been the target.

The Jung family, on the other hand…

Yeosang closed his eyes to keep the tears in. 

Wooyoung was supposed to be back today. He was supposed to be back _this morning_.

But dinner had passed, the night had fallen. It had started snowing again. And they still had no news from him.

_Nothing._

Yeosang had skipped dinner despite Mingi’s desperate attempts to feed him with some bread he had gotten from the kitchen, but Yeosang couldn’t eat. He couldn’t _move_. He was terrified.

He was sitting here on his bed, wrapped in a fluffy blanket Mingi had thrown over his shoulders a few hours ago. He was warm. He was safe.

And in the meantime, the person he loved the most in the world was unreachable and silent. The one he considered his _brother_ might be in danger and Yeosang couldn’t do anything to help.

What if he lost Wooyoung ?

Yeosang curled his hands into fists when his heart started beating faster again, painfully aware that he would spend the next minutes rummaging through another wave of dreadful thoughts and gruesome images entirely made up by his fears. There was a lump in his throat that he kept swallowing with difficulty, hoping that the uneasy feeling would leave him alone. He had cried for so long already. He had cried all day.

But the lump stayed, and Yeosang wanted to cry again.

He heard the door opening and closing with a creak but didn’t make any effort to open his eyes. The mattress dipped under the weight of someone else.

A sniffle. A hand stroking his arm.

Yeosang broke into tears again, but this time, San was here to share his pain. He brought Yeosang close, slid a hand in his hair and gently pushed his head to place it against his shoulder.

“He'll come back,” San murmured, his voice broken, drained by the sobs he had probably let out nestled in Mingi’s arms all afternoon, while Yeosang had pushed his friend away. He sniffled, holding Yeosang tighter.

“He’ll come back,” he repeated. “I'm sure he will.”

And Yeosang wasn’t sure who San was really trying to comfort, but he allowed himself to believe his words, just for a moment.

Just so he could keep hoping.

**Sunday 3, January**

He was there.

Wooyoung was there, standing by the open door of their room, tightly gripping the handle of his suitcase. His eyes were full of unshed tears and he looked tired, but _he was there_.

He was back, he was _safe_.

Yeosang had never reacted so fast. Stopping mid-sentence in the conversation he was having with Mingi, he jumped out of his bed in a rush, crossed the room and threw himself in Wooyoung’s arms. His best friend caught him by the waist and they stumbled a bit backward, ending up in the middle of the hallway once they were steady and tightly wrapped together.

Yeosang had been so scared. He had missed him so much and now Wooyoung was there and hugging him and this was real and Yeosang wanted to cry _so bad_.

The wetness of a lone tear was already stroking his cheek and he closed his eyes, allowing them all to fall. He hid his face against Wooyoung’s shoulder, the sniffles of his best friend muffled by his own clothes.

He had him back.

Yeosang had no idea how long they stayed there, silently crying and holding each other in a death grip, but when he heard footsteps resonating in the staircase and coming to a stop at the end of the hallway, he carefully detached himself from Wooyoung to give his place to the newcomer.

It didn’t take long. One second, San was on the other side of the hallway, eyes wide and lips parted, the next he was crashing into Wooyoung’s arms. Yeosang took a step back to give them some privacy but San grabbed his forearm and brought him back, forcing him into a group hug. Yeosang’s tears weren’t going to stop falling anytime soon.

They stayed there for long minutes, a few sobs escaping here and there, lots of sniffles cracking the silence around them. When Yeosang’s tears dried out, he pulled away again and pushed San to stay there. They needed this moment for themselves, just as Yeosang had needed to hug Wooyoung for a while.

He went back into the room and sat back on his bed, smiling when Mingi gently ruffled his hair. He could still perfectly see San and Wooyoung from there, the two idiots now smiling at each other with puffy eyes and soaked cheeks. They brought their foreheads together and Wooyoung sighed, closing his eyes before San pressed a kiss on his nose. Then on his cheek. Then on the top of his head. When he kissed the corner of Wooyoung’s lips, Yeosang groaned, making Mingi giggle loudly and their friends reluctantly pulled apart.

Before Yeosang could think about some snarky comment to throw at their flushed faces, Wooyoung passed the door in a second and ran into Mingi’s open arms.

“You scared us…” Mingi murmured, closing his eyes when Wooyoung pressed his cheek against his friend’s chest.

“I’m here now. It’s okay, I’m okay.”

Wooyoung’s voice was strained and shaking, but Yeosang was so glad he could hear it again. San brought the suitcase into the room and closed the door behind him, before he came to sit by Yeosang’s side on the bed, placing his head on his shoulder.

Once Mingi and Wooyoung's hug came to an end, San and Yeosang separated from each other so Wooyoung could sit between them. Yeosang clung to his best friend, the fear of having almost lost him still lingering in his mind. He _needed_ to hold him, just a bit longer. On the other side, San laced his fingers with Wooyoung and placed their linked hands on his lap, while Mingi took a seat on Yeonjun’s bed.

They decided to wait for Yunho and Jongho’s arrival before Wooyoung could finally tell his story, knowing the brothers were supposed to arrive in the afternoon.

As expected, the door burst open a few minutes later, suitcases forgotten in the hallways as Yunho rushed into the room to tackle Wooyoung in a choking hug. It forced both Yeosang and San to pull away, but seeing the bright smiles on their friends’ faces was worth it.

They had their Wooyoung back.

Jongho mirrored San’s previous moves by bringing the suitcases inside the room, placing them both next to Wooyoung’s and closing the door behind him.

“Yunho has spent the entire day crying,” Jongho confided as he took a seat by Mingi’s side.

Yunho made some weird startled noise, but he didn’t let go of Wooyoung.

“I didn’t cry !”

“Sure, and San didn’t write an entire paragraph about Wooyoung in _my_ letter.”

Mingi’s laugh echoed into the room as San’s cheeks flushed red, but so did Wooyoung’s ears. Yunho finally pulled away, an amused smile dancing on his lips.

Once the teasing died down and Yunho settled by Mingi’s side, all heads turned to Wooyoung. San’s hand had found its way back in his and Yeosang slid his arms around his best friend again, gulping as they waited for him to finally explain the events of his week.

Wooyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“It happened on Tuesday afternoon,” he started, now staring at his lap. “I was on a walk with mom in our garden when we heard a huge detonation coming from the Charuauds’s, my neighbors. I found it weird but mom brushed it off so I didn’t think much of it at first... But then we saw a thick, super dark smoke coming from there and-”

He paused when his voice quivered, and an uneasy feeling slowly clutched Yeosang’s chest. He wasn’t particularly close to the Charuaud family but they had been living there ever since he was a child. Realizing they were the victims of this recent attack was troubling. It felt… real. Too real. Too close.

Wooyoung sucked in a breath and continued.

“I took mom’s arm and started running because these attacks had been freaking me out for _months_ and I just- I _knew_ this was one of them. I mean, it had to happen at some point, right ? Five mansions with five wealthy families of Purebloods, living away from everything. Of course one of our families would be touched. I had a bad feeling ever since we realized Purebloods were targeted, but actually witnessing it was…”

He shivered, his whole body trembling against Yeosang’s. San softly rubbed his forearm and it seemed to calm him down, albeit slightly.

“We started running back home but I couldn’t stop watching the smoke, it was so high in the sky and so _dark_. It kept getting thicker and thicker and we heard more alarming sounds but it was all messy in my ears because I was running and I don’t know… I think a fight was happening in the Charuaud’s mansion. A big one. We called our personnel and told them to run, then we hid in our wine cellar. I have no idea how long we stayed there, but when we decided to come out there were Aurors outside. They said… They said our neighbors had disappeared. There’s no trace of them anywhere, no witness on the scene, _nothing_.”

He whispered the last word, eyes slightly widening as he stared at a spot on the ground in front of him.

“We went to see their mansion. Half of it was completely destroyed, the other was still burning. It was… Just a big mess.”

He shook his head and closed his eyes, quietly letting them know he had said everything.

His story matched the ones they had read over the past few months in _Le Cri de la Gargouille_ , but actually hearing it from Wooyoung’s point of view made it even more terrifying. Yeosang’s selfish mind was just glad Wooyoung hadn’t witnessed what had happened inside that mansion. He was sensitive and even though he wouldn’t say it out loud, Yeosang knew this was already too much for his best friend. He hoped Aurors would find something soon, even more since…

Yeosang dared a glance in San’s direction. His friend was staring down at the hand he had linked with Wooyoung on his lap, quiet and immobile, his eyes hidden behind his blond fringe. Yeosang sighed.

“At least you’re okay,” he eventually said, partly to break the nervous silence of the room, mostly to divert his own thoughts away from San.

The others smiled, quickly following Yeosang’s comment with their own reassuring words and bringing back the usual lighthearted feeling of their group. It took some time and lots of bad jokes from Mingi and Jongho but slowly, hesitantly, Wooyoung started smiling again.

“Now can I read San’s letter out loud ? It’s hilarious.”

San, who had been abnormally quiet for the past couple of minutes, suddenly yelped as Jongho took a purple envelope out of his pocket. The room filled with laughter and more screams when San jumped on the other bed and started wrestling with Jongho, knocking both Yunho and Mingi in the process.

With a chuckle, Yeosang let his head fall on Wooyoung's shoulder.

They were all back together. They were all safe.

In the end, this was the only thing that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ! The next chapter is my new favorite one for... Reasons.  
> See you on Friday 🖤


	22. January : Week 1

**_???_ **

_The little boy wasn’t so little anymore. He sounded and looked like a teenager now, although San was still unable to see his face. The change had startled him the first time he noticed it, but the visions stayed agonizingly similar._

_San would wake up in this usual dark, freezing room, too spacious for him to properly decipher the ceiling, but confined enough to find its walls suffocating. People would be settled all around the room, their white robes bright and blinding to San’s fragile eyes. The boy would come, crouch down in front of San, softly ask for his name. He would promise it wouldn’t hurt._

Liar _._

_He would put a gentle hand on San’s shoulder and press his wand against his temple. He would say nice things, and San would fall for his words, the feeling of home emanating from his voice always making him lose his senses for a bit._

_There would be pain. There would be darkness._

_It happened today as well. San knew he would wake up soon, or Yunho would force him to. He knew he was crying. He might be screaming too. It had hurt ten times more than usual today, but San couldn’t tell if his tears were falling in the emptiness of his vision, or in the reality of his bed, in the darkness of his dorm room, against Yunho’s trembling hands._

_It was dark. Pain was throbbing in his head._

_Usually, San would simply wait until his eyes would finally open, and he would try to calm down in Yunho’s arms._

_But not today._

_He was tired of the unknown, tired of having questions but never any answers. He was tired of these visions that seemed to be toying with him, telling him too much, and not enough. He needed_ more _._

_He felt Yunho shaking his arm. He heard his own cries, distant and stifled, but slowly coming closer. He was waking up._

_More. Just a bit more…_

_Clenching his jaw in a vain attempt to soothe his headache, he grabbed Yunho’s arm to stop him, and focused on his vision. He forced himself to stay there, to keep his feet grounded in the darkness, his mind in the void._

_More._

_“San. San ! Please, wake up ! San !”_

_More. More. More. He needed more._

_The pain in his head multiplied, hammering inside his skull and he screamed, letting go of Yunho’s arm to grip his head instead, pulling on his hair._

_It hurt so bad, and he was crying, and begging, and screaming but…_

_It was there._

_The next part of his vision._

_It_ worked _._

_San felt himself calming down, seeping in the sudden peacefulness._

_He was still in someone else’s body, the one he had been in a couple of minutes ago. The dark room wasn’t there anymore. Instead, San was surrounded by trees and clouds, painted in brown and blue by the night. He was held in someone’s arms. The boy was running by his side._

_“I think we can stop here,” San heard the boy breathe out, panting. He stopped, and so did the person holding him. “He should be able to find his way home from here. We might get caught if we go any closer.”_

_He crouched down, waving at his accomplice – ally ? assistant ? – to do the same and San was gently set down on the ground, the grass lightly tickling his back. He tried to catch a glimpse of this mysterious person, but his eyelids were heavy and the pain in his head pounded again. He shouldn’t be there. He was putting too much pressure on his own body and everything seemed to be draining the few bits of energy he had left. When he closed his eyes after a particularly violent knock in his head, they never opened again._

_He would have to be twice as attentive then._

_“Sir. May I ask something ?”_

_The other person - an old man, San deduced – slid something soft under San’s head. A large and fluffy piece of tissue was being spread on his body at the same time. A blanket, probably._

_“Go on,” the boy answered, his voice close, coming from San’s left side._

_His hand was taken out of the blanket, meeting someone else’s. Considering their placement, it could only be the boy’s._

_“How much time did they take from him ?”_

_San had no idea what this question meant, but the sudden tension running through the fingers still holding San’s hand didn’t get unnoticed._

_“Five years,” the boy whispered. His hold around San’s tightened, nails digging into San’s skin and he let out a whimper, but the noise didn’t pass his lips. It didn’t make any sound._

_Ah. Yunho must have heard it then. San was probably crying too, outside. The pain in his head was excruciating._

_“Let’s not talk about that.” The hold softened. “He’s safe now.”_

_A hard material was pressed against San’s palm, and a weird feeling started tickling his skin._

_Magic. A wand. And… Words._

_The wand was writing in his palm._

_Before San could react and try to focus on the letters, the wand was taken away, leaving a few sparks of strangeness in San’s skin for a couple of seconds._

_It came back against his temple. A hand was put on his shoulder._

_“I don’t know if you're conscious but if you are, don’t worry. It won’t hurt.”_

_Familiarity. San could easily predict what would happen next. The burn was already weaving in and out his head._

_“I'm sorry for what they did, for what_ I _did. I wish you a wonderful life. Build a new one if needed. Be happy.”_

_San’s eyes were already closed but he could feel the darkness spreading around him, the sounds of the forest muffled, dissipating as seconds passed. San knew he wouldn’t be able to force himself for more. He allowed his mind to sink, to fall into the void._

_He opened his eyes one last time though, ignoring the pain and his own screams in the distance._

_He grasped the letters on his palm, clear and perfectly written in a dark, magical ink._

_‘Stay silent.’_

_‘Oracles of Caliroesis’_

**Tuesday 5, January**

Wooyoung had been staring at the ceiling for a while when Yeosang’s whisper broke the silence of the night.

“You’re not sleeping.”

It was quiet, muffled by a pillow or the thick blanket they had thrown over their shoulders when they had gone to sleep. But Wooyoung had been awake for so long, alone in the silence of their room… He heard him loud and clear. He sighed, well aware that pretending to be asleep would be pointless.

“You’re not either,” he answered.

He heard the shuffle of their sheets next to him and felt the blanket moving away from his body, cold air brushing his shoulder. Before he could protest, Yeosang was bringing him into a hug. Wooyoung didn’t waste a second to snuggle against his best friend, pressing his head on his shoulder as Yeosang’s back met the mattress again. His arms were firm around Wooyoung, his body warm and familiar, and Wooyoung felt safe there.

He had missed this. He had missed his best friend.

“Are you okay ?” Yeosang asked softly, a touch of hesitation in his voice. “Is it because of the attack ?”

Wooyoung hid his face in the crook of Yeosang’s neck and swallowed the lump that tried to form in his throat.

Was he okay ? Wooyoung wasn’t sure. He was fine, he _felt_ fine. But was he, honestly ?

“Yeah,” he eventually answered, but frowned as soon as the word passed his lips. It sounded wrong. “No ?” It wasn’t any better. He sighed, suddenly exhausted. “I don’t know, Sangie. I really don’t know.”

And now he wanted to cry. He couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong, what made it all _too much_ , but he was tired and he just wanted it to stop. He wanted to _breathe_.

“You’re scared,” Yeosang whispered, and something broke in Wooyoung’s chest. This was fear, this feeling that stayed crawling into his body during the whole break, the thick layer of unease that was still gripping at his thoughts. Wooyoung nodded, knowing his best friend could feel the motion against him.

Yeah, he was scared. _Le Cri de la Gargouille_ had reported _two_ new attacks on Purebloods in the last two days, Wooyoung was back to school after two weeks spent being ignored by his father for no apparent reason, San looked more drained now than he had ever been this year, and the sight of the Charuauds’ burning mansion kept flashing in his mind at any moment of the day…

Perhaps Wooyoung felt fine, yes, but the constant dread glued in the pit of his stomach made it hard to smile at life as brightly as before.

“San looks tired,” he settled to say instead because despite everything, despite the heavy subject and the sad reality, talking about San made his heart a bit lighter. “Maybe a bit sad too.”

“Overwhelmed,” Yeosang clarified, and Wooyoung nodded again.

“Yeah. Overwhelmed.”

He felt Yeosang sighing against his hair and huddled closer, wanting to give him as much comfort and love as he was receiving. He wanted to give encouraging hugs to their entire group of friends. He wanted to make them smile, to make them laugh and forget about the dreadful matters floating above their heads for a bit.

“Jongho said the potion would be ready in no time, right ?” Yeosang murmured, rubbing Wooyoung’s back with a gentle hand. “That’s something. San will probably feel ten times better with complete nights of sleep.”

“But is he even going to take it ?” Wooyoung couldn’t help but ask, already knowing none of them had the answer.

Or maybe they both did but refused to accept it.

Yeosang seemed to share his thoughts because for once, he didn’t try to reassure Wooyoung and stayed completely silent. He patted Wooyoung’s lower back and moved a shoulder, forcing Wooyoung to pull away for a bit. He pressed a kiss against Wooyoung's forehead.

The one gesture he used to do when Wooyoung was upset.

“Try to get some sleep,” he whispered. 

Wooyoung nodded, the knot in his throat too thick now for him to answer properly. Tears were prickling on the corner of his eyes when he closed them, stuffing his head back in Yeosang’s neck.

He fell asleep a few minutes later, lulled by the familiar scent of his best friend against him, and the hopeful thought of better days.

**Wednesday 6, January**

To Wooyoung’s despair, classes started again and as if coming back to study his ass off wasn’t enough, Wooyoung had forgotten to work on his Herbology assignment during the break. He had reluctantly canceled his tutoring sessions with San - Potion and Patronus - forced to use his free time on _homework_.

His friends had all decided to join him in his study session, which brought them to the present time, all sitting around a table filled with books and papers in the library.

Jongho had ditched them for his Fifth Years friends as soon as he noticed them sitting at another table of the room, and San had joined him a few hours later, once he had come back from the little time he was supposed to spend with Seonghwa and Hongjoong.

It meant San was sitting at another table. San was far away. San was not here, right beside Wooyoung, holding his hand.

And this was _not_ okay.

Ever since Wooyoung came back, they never found the occasion to spend time alone, just the two of them, and the lack of attention Wooyoung desperately needed from San was slowly eating at him. He had managed to stay patient during the Christmas break, partly because spending his days with his mom had been fun and the attack on his neighbors had taken up most of his thoughts the second week.

But now that he was back, _San_ was all he could think about.

Or worse, _San’s words_.

 _‘When you come back…’_ San had said after the Christmas ball, the ghost of his warm breath _still_ tickling Wooyoung’s lips each time the thought crossed his mind. Well, Wooyoung was back now, and he was equally terrified and expectant of what was bound to happen once they would finally be alone.

For now, all Wooyoung could do was watch San from afar, silently gushing over the way the sun shone so brightly in his eyes today, smiling dumbly each time a dimple appeared on his cheek, sighing every three seconds and basically doing anything that included San and excluded studying.

“Wooyoung, you’re drooling. Do me a favor and ask him out on a date already.”

Yunho’s teasing voice pierced through his San-filled mind, and Wooyoung reluctantly looked away, a pout on his lips. For once, he decided to overlook his friend’s teasing tone to focus on his words.

“There’s already a lot going on in his life, I don’t think now is the right time to do that.”

“That’s precisely why you should ask him out now though.”

Yeosang joined the conversation, raising an eyebrow when Wooyoung frowned in his direction. He sighed, closing his History of Magic book and putting his elbow on the cover, chin in his palm.

“San needs a break,” he continued. “He needs to breathe, to ease his mind, think about something else and I’m pretty sure going out with _you_ would help him feel better.”

“But-”

“Come on, you’ve been dying to kiss him for weeks now. It might happen if you ask him out.”

Heat climbed incredibly fast to Wooyoung’s ears. Mingi burst out laughing next to Yeosang, clasping a hand to his mouth when his laughter echoed in the quiet library. Wooyoung tried to defend himself, but the words weren’t getting out properly and he stuttered for a moment before Yunho took pity on him and patted his shoulder with a sympathetic smile.

“It’s pretty obvious,” he said, and now Wooyoung’s cheeks were flushing too.

He groaned, because he had no other way to express himself properly for now, and let his face fall in his open notebook, hiding his head with his arms.

Yeosang wasn’t wrong. About the kissing part, sure, but about San as well. Their friend did need some time away from his current situation, away from his own thoughts. Wooyoung had assumed giving him some time alone and not smothering him with feelings and all that stuff would be better, but perhaps he had been wrong all along. Maybe San needed this as much as Wooyoung did, a moment they could share together, away from their problems, just like they had done on Wooyoung’s birthday. Wooyoung had felt so happy that night, so free. He wanted San to feel the same.

He dared to lift his head and put his chin on his notebook, keeping his pout for good measure.

“Help me out then ?”

He didn’t have to ask twice. Mingi and Yunho were already listing all sorts of _dates_ Wooyoung could plan, from the simplest to the weirdest ones. After ten agonizing minutes wondering if his friends were truly searching for a date and not an original way to murder both San and Wooyoung, Yeosang seemed to lose his patience.

“You said he loves stargazing. Just sneak out at night and go watch the stars or something,” he suggested, cutting Yunho in the middle of his sentence.

Their two friends went quiet for a moment. They looked at each other with odd expressions, before looking back at Yeosang.

“That’s… actually the best idea,” Mingi eventually said. “I heard the moon will be full on Sunday night.”

“It’s settled then, your date will be on Sunday,” Yunho clasped his hands together, smiling way too brightly. “Now all you have to do is to ask him out !”

 _All you have to do_.

As if this wasn’t the hardest part. His heart was already speeding up just thinking about it and he could feel his palms slowly going moist against the polished surface of the table.

His worries were cut short when Yunho slid his hands under Wooyoung’s armpits and forced him up.

“Stop thinking and _go_ !”

 _Fuck, fuck fuck_. Now ?!

One glance at Yeosang’s face told him he should get going already.

“O-okay then… Wish me luck.”

Mingi snorted, shooing him away with a weird hand gesture.

“You won’t need it. Just _go_.”

So Wooyoung went. He crossed the room and stopped in front of San’s table, trying to stay as calm and steady as possible. His heart was definitely trying to escape his ribcage, and when San met his eyes, he felt like throwing up.

_Come on Wooyoung, it’s just San._

Gulping, he tried to ignore Jongho’s curious eyes on him, or the obvious stares coming from the other Fifth years at their table. Fuck, the whole library was probably looking and judging him now.

_Breathe._

“Can I talk to you ?”

Here, a good start. If he could be alone with San, away from these stares, then things would probably be easier.

San seemed to get the point and quickly nodded, not sparing a glance at his friends as he stood up and followed Wooyoung out of the library. Once in the hallway, he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms on his chest, curious eyes fixed on Wooyoung.

“Is everything okay ?” he asked with a slight pout.

Wooyoung tried really hard not to panic. He vividly shook both his hands and his head, eyes widening.

“No ! I mean, yeah ! Yes. Sorry ! Everything is fine.”

He stopped abruptly when San chuckled, an amused smile grazing his lips. It wasn’t much, but the sight helped Wooyoung relax for a bit.

“Everything is fine,” he repeated, calmer this time. “I just…”

Deep breaths. He could do it.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out on Sunday night ? With me I mean. Like, just the two of us ? Together ?”

Wooyoung’s face was no doubt crimson red by now. His gaze had dropped to the floor as he talked and he didn’t dare look up, too scared of the expression he would read on San’s face.

“I have a question though.”

Wooyoung’s eyes snapped back to San’s, his heart doing at least two loopings in his chest.

“Yeah ?”

“Is it a date ? If it’s not a date, I’m not going.”

Oh fucking hell.

Wooyoung opened his mouth to say something but closed it instantly. He opened it again, gaping like a fish, unable to find anything to answer.

“S-stop smiling like that !” he eventually managed to say when San’s smirk started to be too much for his poor heart.

“Sorry, but you’re adorable,” San laughed.

He grabbed the white strings of Wooyoung’s hoodie and slightly tugged on it, silently asking him to come closer. With a mushy mind and heart pounding wildly, Wooyoung took a few steps forward, until San caged his waist with his arms and brought him against his body. He was _still_ leaning against the wall, and now Wooyoung felt like a ticking bomb, ready to explode at a simple touch.

“So… Is it a date ?” San whispered, raising an expectant eyebrow.

Forgetting the use of words for a moment, Wooyoung simply nodded. His knees almost gave up under his weight when San’s smile grew wider, his dimples clearly trying to murder him on the spot.

“Nice.”

San kissed the corner of his mouth, chuckling when Wooyoung visibly shivered.

“I can’t wait.”

Then the warmth of his body faded, and the sound of footsteps followed by the library’s doors opening and closing resonated in Wooyoung’s ears.

San was gone, leaving Wooyoung in the middle of the hallways with flushed cheeks, warm ears, and a burning heart.

He couldn’t wait either.

**Thursday 7, January**

San and Yunho were running late.

Just like the Divination class, the Care of Magical Creatures lessons were joint with the three colors of their school. Their professor had given them detailed instructions about the location of today’s class, and Wooyoung had crossed the snowy field with Yeosang and Mingi, about fifteen minutes ago already.

They were standing in a familiar part of the forest – M. Sabot usually led them here for his lessons – with the rest of their classmates and eight winged horses, waiting for the latecomers.

Latecomers being San and Yunho.

They had missed breakfast, and in any other situation, Wooyoung would have rushed to the dorm to see what had happened, but crossing a field took more time than crossing the castle, and Wooyoung knew he would have been late if he hadn’t come here straight after breakfast. Unlike San, he wasn’t – and would never be – a professor’s favorite, and being late could put him in some trouble, depending on their professor’s mood.

Soobin had assured him San and Yunho were fine when Wooyoung had nervously asked, but it did nothing to tone down the distressing thoughts running through Wooyoung’s mind.

Their two friends arrived about five agonizingly long minutes later, panting hard and shamefully apologizing to their professor. M. Sabot barely acknowledged them, which was a good sign, and turned to the rest of the class to explain the course of today’s lesson.

His concern must have been written on Wooyoung’s face because when San's eyes locked with his, they instantly widened and San hastened to take Wooyoung’s hand. He smiled faintly, the sight of two little crescents apparently enough to ease the anxious feeling in Wooyoung’s stomach.

“Crescent is here,” San whispered, leaning a bit toward Wooyoung to make sure their professor wouldn’t notice them. “He loves walking in the snow once in a while. I'm glad M. Sabot brought him here today.” 

Wooyoung slightly nodded, eyes falling on their winged friend. Crescent was absolutely stunning, as always, but the white of the snow mirrored his robe, and now he seemed to be shining. Seeing him happily gamboling in the clearing made Wooyoung smile a bit wider. San smiled too.

After separating the students into eight groups – Wooyoung and his friends stayed glued together – M. Sabot left to give detailed instructions to the first one.

“M. Park, could you help me here for a second, please ?” he called from the other side of the clearing.

San didn't waste a second and let go of Wooyoung’s hand to trot toward his professor, almost falling twice on his way. Wooyoung snorted, shaking his head. He wasn’t so surprised their professor would ask San for help, he had been the one allowing San to fly with Crescent whenever he felt like it after all. Most professors seemed to like San a tad too much, and Wooyoung couldn’t blame them for their obvious favoritism. He would prefer San too.

Once San was by their professor’s side, already rubbing a winged horse’s ear, Wooyoung turned back to look at his friends, instantly noticing Yunho’s frown.

“What’s wrong ?” he asked, bringing Mingi and Yeosang’s attention to their friend. “Why did you miss breakfast ?”

Yunho’s gaze, which had been following San’s distancing frame until then, eventually met Wooyoung’s, and his frown deepened.

“San is acting weird,” he stated. He was met with heavy silence and hastened to clarify, “I mean at night, with his visions. He’s freaking me out.”

A chilling gust of wind forced them all to close their eyes for a second, the snow on the ground and in the trees above their heads flying in the air and pitilessly slapping their faces. Shaken by both the cold and Yunho’s words, a violent shiver ran through Wooyoung’s body. He hid his nose under his blue scarf, to keep himself warm and hide from the rest of this conversation he knew he wouldn’t like.

“I could be wrong, but I’m almost certain he’s forcing himself to stay _in_ his vision,” Yunho continued. “I usually wake him up when he starts crying or doing weird sounds, but now he keeps grabbing my arm to stop me. He did it the last two nights, and I had a hard time waking him up this morning so I let him sleep in for a bit.”

“He’s trying to get more information…” Yeosang murmured, brow furrowing as he looked down at the snowflakes on his shoes.

“That's what I think too but… Guys, you don’t _hear_ him. The screams… He’s in way too much pain. This is a bad idea, a really bad one, but he doesn’t want to listen when I try to reason him.”

Wooyoung closed his eyes for a moment, trying to keep himself calm and not instantly panic. He and Jongho were the only ones who had never dealt with San’s visions at night, and he knew for a fact Yeosang was still not fully recovered from last week. If things were _worse_ now…

Wooyoung swallowed the uneasy feeling crawling in his throat, slightly shaking his head to keep his distressing thoughts away. When he opened his eyes again, Mingi was sliding an arm around Yunho’s shoulders, gently guiding his friend in a half-hug.

“Let’s just wait for an opportunity to put some sense into his stubborn skull,” he said to no one in particular. “Jongho told us the potion won’t take long now that he’s back. In the meantime, take some naps when you can, Yun. You need it. And force San to take them with you, or I will.”

“It’ll only work if Wooyoung is already in the bed,” Yunho noted, the ghost of a smile _finally_ on his lips. Wooyoung returned his teasing with a small grin.

“Let’s all nap in Yunho’s room after classes then,” Yeosang offered, lifting his head to look at them. His lips were pressed in a thin line, his eyes sad. His gaze seemed lost somewhere in the distance but when Wooyoung followed it, his own eyes fell on San. A happy San. Stroking the mane of a grey winged horse with a smile so wide it made it hard to believe life was being so tough on him every day.

Wooyoung sighed, sliding his hand into Yeosang’s.

“Yeah. A nap sounds nice.”

**Sunday 10, January**

Wooyoung was freaking out.

He had spent the afternoon frantically walking back and forth in his dorm room, which didn’t seem to please his own roommates who completely ditched him a couple of minutes after lunch, leaving him alone with Yeosang.

Now, he was laying on his bed, eyes locked on the ceiling. His mind was a complete _mess_. He would finally have his first official date with San tonight and so far, nothing had gone according to plan.

It had started snowing. The sky had been perfectly clear all week, but of course, now that the day Wooyoung had chosen to go stargazing with San had come, it decided to hide behind a layer of white and grey. Wooyoung would have gone and punched the clouds if he wasn’t so busy wallowing in self-pity.

San didn’t seem to mind though. When Wooyoung had apologized for the change of program they would need to do, he had smiled and simply said he didn’t care, that they could maintain their date outside, despite the snow. Oh, and he had kissed Wooyoung’s cheek before they parted ways after dinner.

So now, Wooyoung was lost, nervous, and in love.

Fairly tired of Wooyoung’s pitiful state, Yeosang eventually left, only to come back with Yunho and Mingi a couple of minutes later. Yeosang went back to read his boring book while their friends emptied Wooyoung's suitcase on Changbin’s bed. 

Wooyoung was pacing up and down the room again.

“Could you stop that,” Yeosang groaned, closing his eyes as he massaged his temples. “Seeing you freaking out freaks me out.”

Wooyoung knew that, but how was he supposed to let his stress out ? He whined pitifully and let himself fall on his best friend’s lap before being pushed away, then rolled on the mattress to stare at the ceiling. Again.

Yunho snorted from the other side of the room.

“After spending the afternoon with San and Jongho I can assure you San is in a worse state.”

“Worse ?!” Yeosang gasped. “Wooyoung took a bath with ice cubes and twenty bags of herbal tea to ease his mind, how could San be worse than _that_ ?”

“You weren't supposed to tell them !”

Wooyoung straightened in a flash, staring at Yeosang in disbelief. His ears were already burning and Mingi’s laugh didn’t help at all.

“Okay, maybe not worse,” Yunho said with a snort, completely ignoring Wooyoung. “Equal.”

“Equal ?!” Now it was Mingi’s turn to look at Yunho with wide eyes. “Did you hear Yeosang ? Wooyoung is a walking disaster today.”

A walking- Seriously ?!

“Trust me,” Yunho laughed, folding a pair of black jeans and putting them aside on the bed, as if Wooyoung wasn’t _right here_ being insulted by his own best friends. “San’s ways to keep himself _‘calm and collected’_ are… Interesting. You wouldn’t want to see that. Now come on !” He clasped his hands and offered Wooyoung an innocent, blinding smile. “Time to choose your outfit !”

In the end, the outfit didn’t even matter. It was snowing, and Wooyoung had no intention of freezing to death, nor did he want to use Heating Charms in San’s presence. He would have to wear his warm teal coat then, meaning his cream-colored turtleneck would stay partly hidden – _partly_ , because he never bothered closing his coats. Mingi insisted on him wearing his favorite black jeans though, _“to give you some confidence !”_ , and Yunho spent an awfully long time choosing his shoes, only to hand him his usual black sneakers. He would complete the look with his black scarf.

Definitely not Wooyoung's best outfit for a first date, but what would they do under a snowfall anyway ?

He accepted Mingi’s offer to wave his hair, making it a bit fluffier than usual, and Yeosang forcefully did his make-up. Thankfully, he kept it light, a soft orange eyeshadow and some glitters on his cheeks.

Wooyoung felt pretty. Well, prettier than usual. It gave him the confidence he painfully needed to meet San tonight, to have a _date_ with San.

Yunho and Mingi left the room a couple of minutes before the set hour, both hugging him tightly under the doorframe.

“Do me a favor and make him forget about all this stuff for a little while, okay ?” Yunho said as he pulled away from their hug, the sight of his familiar smile gently stroking the nervous part of Wooyoung’s mind. “And don’t think about it either. Focus on yourself, and on San. There’s no place for bad thoughts tonight.”

Wooyoung smiled back at his friend, nodding.

“I’ll do my best, I promise.”

Yunho threw him a thumb up and Mingi yelled a bunch of inappropriate things Wooyoung would never repeat to his mom, then they were gone. Wooyoung snorted as he closed the door behind him, both amused and touched by his friends’ enthusiasm.

When he turned around, he found Yeosang sitting on his bed, staring at his lap.

“You okay ?” Wooyoung asked softly, taking a seat by his side.

His best friend looked up, the blank expression on his face impossible to read, even to Wooyoung. He didn’t give Wooyoung an answer and simply held his gaze, staring at him for a long moment, until Wooyoung started to be concerned. 

Yeosang’s face broke into a fond smile.

“I'm glad.”

“Huh ?”

“I’m glad you found San.”

“Oh.”

That was… Unexpected. Weird ? Wooyoung wasn’t sure. Yeosang had never been the type to openly talk about his feelings, and Wooyoung hadn’t expected him to share his thoughts on his relationship with San.

His best friend turned his hand on his lap, palm now facing the ceiling. An invitation. Wooyoung naturally slid his hand in Yeosang’s.

“I'm proud to be called your best friend and I’ll _always_ be here for you Woo,” Yeosang continued, his smile soft and genuine as he looked down at their linked hands. “But you know… Even after all these years we spent together, there are some things I can’t do, some things I can’t help you with. San fills these things I’m lacking.”

Wooyoung frowned.

“You’re not lacking in anyth-”

“You’re happier, Wooyoung, I can tell. It’s not that you were sad before, I don’t think you were and you probably don’t either, but some things changed and now you just… You seem to enjoy life a lot more. Despite the mess happening around us, around you, I can see your heart is in a safe place now. I’m convinced that no matter what will happen in the future, you’ll be fine. It makes _me_ happy to know that, it’s reassuring. And I’m glad it’s San. You both have kind, big hearts… You deserve all the happiness life can offer you, and I’m sure you can find it in each other.”

His lips parted for more but whatever he was going to say next died in his throat, because Wooyoung jumped to his neck, squeezing him in a death-gripped hug. 

“Why are you saying all these nice things you sappy asshole !”

Yeosang chuckled, circling Wooyoung's frame and returning the hug.

“I don't know. I feel like some proud parent watching their kid leave home for the first time.”

They both laughed at his comment and Wooyoung felt his eyes tearing up, just a bit. He could understand Yeosang’s feelings. He felt just the same.

Yeosang had been there with him, for the biggest part of his life. He had been the one seeing Wooyoung at his worst, and during his happiest days. No one knew him better than Yeosang, not even his mom. Life had always been the two of them, even after they met Yunho and Mingi, even when their friendship with the other two became the most precious gift of Wooyoung’s life.

Then suddenly, San was added to the picture, and Wooyoung’s safe, familiar little world was turned upside down, in the best possible way. Being so close to someone who wasn’t Yeosang had been scary at first, and it still felt weird…

But it didn’t mean things had to change. Wooyoung _didn’t want_ it to change.

“You don’t seem to realize San is not the only one making me happy,” Wooyoung murmured, pulling away from their hug so he could see his best friend. “You are too. You’re one of the most important persons in my life, you’re my Sangie, my brother, my safe place. You’re the one who taught me how to smile when everything felt like shit. The one who had always been here to pull me up when I was feeling down. You’re the one who helped me be who I am today, you’re my best friend in the entire world Yeosang and this will _never_ change.” He smiled sincerely, heart squeezing when he noticed the tears twinkling in Yeosang’s eyes. “Thank you for still being here by my side, after all these years. It may not be the same as San, but I love you just as much.”

He didn’t wait then, and engulfed his best friend back into a hug. Yeosang buried his face in Wooyoung’s neck, soaking his skin with tears.

“Shit…” he breathed out and Wooyoung giggled, but his own eyes were moist, his heart warm. Yeosang crying had always been a rare sight, yet Wooyoung witnessed his tears twice in just a week.

He tightened his hold around his best friend's trembling frame and kissed the top of his head.

“I love you,” Wooyoung said with a smile.

“I love you too, fucking silver-tongued asshole.”

“Your insults are not very impactful when you’re crying.”

“I’m not _crying_.”

“I know.” Wooyoung smiled, pressing another kiss against Yeosang's head. “I know, Sangie.”

\------

Somehow, Wooyoung was convinced San wouldn’t be waiting for him in his own dorm. If he was as nervous as Yunho had implied, then he would no doubt be with Jongho now.

With a knot in his stomach and wobbly legs, Wooyoung ran up the stairs of the Soleil dorm two at a time, partly excited to see San and absolutely terrified to have his first date with him. When he finally stopped in front of Jongho’s door, panting harshly and heart stammering in his chest, he checked his clothes and the way his hair fell on his forehead one last time, just to be sure.

Clinging on the bouquet of red roses he had brought with him – Yunho and Mingi had bought it for him during their trip to a village this morning – he gathered all the courage he could find in his nervous self and knocked on the door. A loud thud came from the other side, quickly followed by hushed voices and a desperate muffled cry.

A couple of seconds later, San was opening the door with a dazzling smile.

“Hey.”

Wooyoung sucked in a breath.

San had put some makeup on too, a reddish eyeshadow, some highlighter and a perfectly drawn line of eyeliner. It was light and discreet, but enough to take Wooyoung’s breath away. He was already wearing his warm coat, the white one that blended perfectly with the scarf wrapped around his neck – Wooyoung’s scarf – and just like Wooyoung, his hair was free of any beanie or hat, meaning they would both freeze to death tonight.

Wooyoung realized a bit too late that he was staring, and he abruptly pushed the bouquet against San’s chest with fuming ears.

“F-For you,” he stuttered, mentally slapping himself for his sudden awkwardness.

If San noticed his struggle, he didn’t mention it. He silently took the bouquet, a hint of pink blooming on his cheeks. When his gaze fell on the red roses, his lips parted to form a perfect “o”, and now Wooyoung wanted to run down the stairs and hide in his dorm room forever.

Yeosang had helped him choose the perfect flowers for the occasion, and they had both concluded nothing would be as meaningful as this kind of bouquet. It had to be red roses.

 _“You won’t have to say anything Woo,”_ Yeosang had told him when Wooyoung reconsidered their pick for the nth time _. “Just give him the bouquet, he’ll understand. I’m sure he’ll give you the time you need to talk about it another day.”_

Wooyoung sure hoped he would. His heart was pounding so wildly in his chest already, there was no way he would survive if he needed to explain his choice of flowers.

The universe seemed to have some mercy for once, because Jongho chose this moment to interrupt them, appearing by San’s side and taking the bouquet from his hands.

“Amazing, I’ll take care of this. You, go have fun.”

He winked at San and walked back into the room, where Wooyoung noticed Felix sprawled on one of the beds, head on Hyunjin's lap and waving at him with a giant smile.

“Bring him back before midnight !” he teased, making one of Jongho’s other friends – a really loud one… Ji-something – burst out laughing. He even fell from his bed.

San rolled his eyes, taking Wooyoung’s gloved hand and stepping into the hallway.

“Don’t wait for me,” he called, his comment quickly followed by two _“We won’t !”_ , a groan, and a cheerful _“Okay !”_ from Felix. A second later, the door was closed, and they were left alone in the hallway.

“Thank you for the flowers,” San said. “I love them.”

Fuck, Wooyoung was really not ready to talk about it yet. His thoughts became fuzzy and panic started to rise in his chest but before he could say or do anything, San squeezed his hand and offered him a reassuring smile.

“Let’s go.”

They went out of the building, ready to fight the cold and the dark. It had stopped snowing a couple of minutes ago, but the layer of snow on the ground was even thicker now. Each step took Wooyoung way too much effort and his shoes were already soaked, but with San walking by his side, everything seemed better, less frustrating. Wooyoung slid San’s naked hand in the pocket of his own coat, scolding him for failing to wear gloves tonight. For fuck's sake, it was freezing cold. How could he forget his _gloves_ ? 

Seeing San's smiling smugly each time Wooyoung brought his cold hand to his lips to blow on them or rub between his own to warm them up told him he did it on purpose.

Halfway through the field behind the castle, San offered Wooyoung a piggyback ride, only to slip as soon as he was on his back, making them both fall in the snow. They laughed loudly and without any shame, free to be loud tonight, free to be happy.

It took them a while, but they eventually reached their familiar spot near the lake. When Wooyoung stopped watching his steps and lifted his head, his eyes widened.

“What-”

“Jongho and Jisung,” San cut before Wooyoung could ask anything. “And me, but just a little.”

“Are you kidding me…”

His voice trailed off as he took a step forward, then walked carefully until he was standing in the middle of the clearing. He spun around once, taking in the sight surrounding him, and huffed in disbelief.

Hundreds of orbs made of light were floating above their head, bathing the forest in a warm hue of orange, illuminating the entire place and making the snow sparkle at Wooyoung’s feet. It was _magnificent_ , but now San was standing under the light too, and Wooyoung suddenly felt like crying because _fuck_ , his date was beautiful and smiling and being the nicest person in the entire world and Wooyoung wanted to engulf him in the biggest hug possible.

“I know you were the one who asked me out but you looked so sad when it started snowing… I thought I would give you a little surprise to make you feel better. Jongho and Jisung were more than happy to help.”

Wooyoung huffed in disbelief, turning to look at San.

“When will you stop being so perfect ?” he asked.

He didn’t give San any time to answer and jumped into his arms. He was too overwhelmed by happy feelings to care about the fact they could have both fallen into the snow again, but San had been prepared and caught him effortlessly, naturally melting into the hug. Wooyoung hid his smile in San’s neck, closing his eyes to fully appreciate this moment.

 _Finally_. They were finally back together, alone.

“I just wanted to make you smile,” San whispered. When Wooyoung lifted his head to show him the stupid smile on his lips, San giggled cutely. “Looks like it worked.”

Wooyoung had no idea how long they stayed there, simply hugging, but they eventually let go of each other to work on the place. Before Wooyoung could start jumping on the snow everywhere to flatten it, San took out his wand and cast a spell, a couple of centimeters of snow instantly melting. Wooyoung gasped at the sudden change, turning around to see the entire clearing had been taken care of. The ground was still covered in white, but now they wouldn’t struggle with each and every one of their steps.

“Why didn’t you do that while we crossed the field ?” Wooyoung groaned.

At least they wouldn’t have to run around the area for the next few minutes. With an adorable giggle, San slipped his wand back into his pocket and took a few steps forwards to close the distance between them.

“It was funnier this way.”

Cold fingers wrapped around Wooyoung’s wrists and San tugged on his arms to bring him closer. Wooyoung’s ears flushed red at the sudden proximity, but he didn’t protest. His arms naturally found their way around San’s neck when San let go of his wrists to circle his waist instead, his hands sliding under Wooyoung’s open coat.

“Let’s dance,” San whispered.

“Right now ?”

The only response he got was a smirk, and one eyebrow raising. He huffed and looked away for a moment, knowing his cheeks were slowly turning pink – and not because of the cold.

“Fine.”

His heart swooped dangerously when Wooyoung caught a glimpse of San’s triumphant smile, and he pressed his chin against San’s shoulder to keep his gaze away. San’s coat was cold, tickling his skin.

San seemed warm.

With a frustrated sigh, Wooyoung pulled back and grabbed San’s scarf, loosening it until he could see enough skin. He smiled when his eyes fell on the freckles dusting San’s skin and without thinking twice about his actions, he nestled his face against San’s neck and sighed.

_Here. Warm._

He felt the vibrations of San’s giggle against his cheek and thought that if happiness could be a moment of his life, then this was it. The warmth of San’s body against his, the melodious sound of his giggles, his smiles, his soft hands against his waist…

As Wooyoung closed his eyes again, San led them into a slow dance, swaying from one foot to the other just like they had done during the Christmas ball. But this time, there was no one to stare at them, no one to judge them, no one to disrupt their moment. It was just them, in the coldness of winter and the darkness of the night, under the orange light of floating orbs and stepping on a white blanket of snow.

San started singing.

It was quiet at first, hesitant. It took Wooyoung by surprise. San’s voice was soft and velvety, like a feather brushing against skin, or a fluffy cloud crossing the sky. It floated in the air and danced around them, stroking Wooyoung’s ears and twirling until it disappeared in the evergreens. Wooyoung decided San’s voice was his new favorite sound in the world.

When the last notes of the song dissipated in the wind to give place to the previous silence, Wooyoung unabashedly whined, asking for more. San chuckled at his childish behavior, but he complied. 

Wooyoung didn’t know any of the songs San was singing. They didn’t have any lyrics, just melodies, the same notes repeating once in a while to form a refrain, wordlessly telling they were supposed to have lyrics, stories to tell that San wasn’t ready to share yet. So Wooyoung listened, and listened, until he knew he wouldn’t be able to live without hearing more, all the time.

After the fourth song, San stopped, and Wooyoung didn’t ask for more. He pressed a kiss in his neck to thank him, smiling when San shivered in his arms.

“Your voice is so pretty Sannie,” Wooyoung murmured, not daring to pop their quiet bubble. “Will you sing for me again someday ?”

With the lack of music, their dance leisurely came to an end, their feet slowing down until they eventually halted. San gently kissed the top of Wooyoung’s head.

“Any day for you, Wooyoung.” He leaned against San’s head and sighed. “You know… I love snow just as much as I love stargazing.”

Woooyung’s eyebrows perked up in surprise, and he lifted his head to meet San’s eyes.

“I didn’t fail the date then ? Is it good enough ?”

He had been so eager to bring San here to stargaze, knowing how much San loved watching the stars, but he didn’t know about the snow. It made something light up in his chest, a feeling of pride and happiness replacing the silent regret he had felt when the clouds had started obscuring the sky this afternoon.

San slowly shook his head, a small smile grazing his lips.

“I would have been happy just cuddling on your bed Woo.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, Wooyoung’s gaze still on him, on the softness of his expression, the pink on his cheeks mirrored on his nose from the cold. When San opened his eyes again, the light had changed. Wooyoung shivered under the intensity of San's gaze, but he couldn’t look away.

“You did amazing,” San whispered. “It’s perfect Wooyoung.”

He leaned closer and Wooyoung held his breath. As if the last three weeks hadn’t happened, as if time didn’t matter, they were back to this night, to this moment they had shared after the Christmas ball, when their breaths had melted together and danced against each other’s lips. When Wooyoung had felt everything and realized San wanted to give him just as much. When they had silently sealed their future, promising they would be more later, if they were patient enough.

And later was now. Later was tonight.

Tonight, Wooyoung didn’t have to rush back to his dorm to leave early the following day. Tonight, Wooyoung didn’t have to wait two weeks. Tonight, Wooyoung would stay.

Because tonight was theirs.

“San,” Wooyoung murmured, voice raspy and quivering.

San hummed and their lips brushed, the sudden feeling sending a million shudders through Wooyoung’s body. His knees went weak for an instant but San’s hold around his waist tightened, keeping him firmly against his chest.

“San,” Wooyoung repeated. “ _Please_. Just… Just kiss m-”

And the words died against San’s lips.

Wooyoung’s eyes widened, his heart stopping.

San was kissing him. He had slid a hand in the nape of Wooyoung’s neck and _fuck_ , San was _kissing him_.

It took Wooyoung way too long to fully grasp the situation but when he did, his body moved on its own. His eyes fluttered shut and slowly, carefully, he kissed San back.

It was soft, a delicate peck, just San’s lips pressed against Wooyoung’s and even though he had been daydreaming about this moment for weeks, nothing could compare to the real one. No one had told him how amazing this would feel. No one had prepared him for the soothing feeling of _right_ to spread in his body, playing with his beating heart and making his stomach flutter.

Every single feeling increased tenfold when San’s lips leisurely moved against his and Wooyoung followed the rhythm, wanting to discover more, to taste this part of San he had desperately needed for so long.

Wooyoung slid a hand into San’s hair and San gasped against his lips, slightly tilting his head to deepen their kiss. Wooyoung was inexperienced and maybe he should have thought about it before hoping San would kiss him tonight, but maybe he didn’t need to. Because everything felt natural, everything seemed right, and Wooyoung didn’t have to think while his lips danced with San’s.

When San brought a hand to Wooyoung’s cheek, Wooyoung accidentally flinched, breaking their kiss.

“Sorry it’s… Your hand is cold,” he admitted, breathless and mind fuzzy, still feeling the coldness of San’s naked fingers against his burning skin.

San’s hand fell on Wooyoung’s shoulder, before it completely moved away from his body when San took a step back. The hand on Wooyoung’s waist was gone too.

“Is that so…” San murmured, taking another step backward while Wooyoung blinked at him in confusion.

“San ?” he asked, confused. One second, he was kissing San and the next, he was standing there alone, San staring at Wooyoung a meter away from him with an unreadable expression. “What are you doing ?”

He didn’t receive any response. Or not an audible one.

Because in his confusion, his mind didn’t comprehend why San suddenly bent down and before he could even try to understand the situation, a huge ball of snow flew toward him and crashed in his face.

San’s laugh broke into the silence of the night, high-pitched and _treacherous_.

“Is it still cold now ?”

Wooyoung’s lips parted as he tried to answer, only to clasp them shut an instant later, at a loss of words. He could feel his whole face burning from the sudden iciness, melted snow flowing along his neck. San was laughing his ass off a few meters away from him, cheeks red and tears prickling on the corner of his eyes.

Oh. He was going to regret that.

In a record time, Wooyoung was crouching down to gather some snow in his hand and without wasting a second, he bolted toward San. The latter shrieked when he realized Wooyoung was taking his revenge, laugh dying in his throat as he started to run away.

“Come back here, coward !” Wooyoung shouted, but San was fast and now he was giggling and it only pissed Wooyoung off because it was _adorable_ and _frustrating_.

It didn’t take long before Wooyoung was laughing too, San’s face dripping with melted snow. They ran and ran, screaming and throwing snowballs at each other with bright smiles and light hearts. Wooyoung’s hair was an absolute mess now, but so was San’s, blond strands sticking everywhere while some stayed stuck to his forehead, soaked by a mix of sweat and melted snow. Wooyoung would never ever make fun of Yeosang again for using waterproof mascara for no reason. It was saving his life right now. Or at least his face.

“Time out ! I can’t feel my fingers !” San screamed when Wooyoung came back from a part of the clearing San hadn’t flattened, arms full of untouched snow.

Of course he couldn’t feel his fingers, what kind of idiot would start a snowball fight without wearing gloves ?

Wooyoung’s idiot apparently.

“I don’t care ! I can’t feel my nose, but I gotta take my revenge !”

“You already took it !” San yelled, arms gesturing toward his disheveled clothes. He screamed loudly the next second, when Wooyoung started running again.

“Stop running !” Wooyoung screamed.

“Stop screaming !”

“Only if you st-”

Wooyoung didn’t get to finish his sentence. Just as he was about to reach San, he stumbled over his own foot and suddenly he was falling, a ridiculous squeal passing his lips. The commotion made San turn around and he tried to catch Wooyoung but it was too late. He followed Wooyoung in his fall and while they rolled on the ground, the massive amount of snow Wooyoung had kept in his arms flew in the air and fell on top of them.

“Fuck,” Wooyoung groaned.

There was a weight on top of him and a cold feeling all over his body. San was laughing above him, slowly straightening up on his arms, hands on each side of Wooyoung’s head.

“Stop laughing," Wooyoung groaned, taking his drenched gloves off. "There’s snow in my pants !”

It only made San laugh louder and with a pout, Wooyoung pressed both of his hands against San’s chest, trying to push him away. In vain.

“That’s great,” San chuckled, his laugh slowly calming down. He stared down at Wooyoung with sparkling eyes, a smirk on the corner of his lips. “Now you can’t complain about my hands being cold.”

“Wh-”

San crashed their lips together, efficiently shutting him up. 

Perhaps Wooyoung should have protested, perhaps he should have pushed San away.

But he was already responding to the kiss, and now he couldn’t pull away.

While their first kiss had been soft and gentle, this one felt more desperate, an urge to taste, to _feel_. It was sloppy, more rushed, just as intense. San’s lips were wet and warm, tugging on Wooyoung’s heart and making his head spin. They were moving against Wooyoung’s as if the world would end in a few seconds, as if kissing him was an urgency, a new way to breathe and stay alive.

San bent his arm to put the weight of his body on his forearm, as he slid his other hand to Wooyoung’s face, cupping his jaw. His thumb gently brushed Wooyoung’s cheek and Wooyoung shivered at the touch. It was _freezing_ , but he couldn’t care any less, not when San suddenly licked his lips and Wooyoung’s naturally parted to deepen their kiss.

He felt like floating. He couldn’t feel his body anymore, only San’s lips, and San’s tongue, and San’s touches and San, San, _San_. He was drowning in the smell of roses and chamomile, inebriated by the taste of honey on San’s lips. His veins were throbbing and his heart stammering in his chest, following the hectic pace of San’s against his palms.

Wooyoung gasped when San bit his lip and they parted way for an instant, just to catch their breath and stare at each other, eyes filled with fondness, want, love, and everything Wooyoung had ever felt for San the past few months. San’s lips were swollen, his cheeks red, his eyeliner smudged and he was a mess, but he was a beautiful one and when his lips captured Wooyoung’s again, Wooyoung slid his hand in his hair so he could be even messier. Because of him. Because of _his_ kiss, because of _his_ hands, of _his_ touches. The soft feeling of San’s strands against his skin blended with the gentleness of San's lips and Wooyoung smiled in the middle of their kiss.

San was devouring his lips but he was still so _San_. Soft, delicate San.

Wooyoung loved him _so much_.

The pace of their kiss slowed down, San trapping the bottom of Wooyoung’s lips with his own before gently pecking the corner of his mouth.

“Sannie,” Wooyoung whispered when San seemed to let his lips rest for more than ten seconds. “I love kissing you, but you gotta stop interrupting m-”

And San captured his lips again, shutting Wooyoung up for the third time tonight.

Wooyoung could feel San’s smug smile against his lips and he hit his chest in frustration. It made San giggle and he broke their kiss, slowly backing away.

“You’re infuriating,” Wooyoung murmured. His eyes cracked open when he noticed San wasn’t rushing back to kiss him again, and any following words died in his throat at the sight splattered in front of him.

It had started snowing again.

Thick snowflakes were falling everywhere around them, swirling between the orange lights and delicately landing on San’s head, covering his pretty hair with white and sparkles. Wooyoung stayed there, lying on the ground with swollen parted lips, unable to look away. All he could see were snowy branches above San’s head, white petals of ice dancing around them, orange lights, and the boy he loved staring down at him with his shiny, beautiful eyes…

“Wow…” Wooyoung breathed out, unable to stop himself.

Cold fingers brushed against his cheek and he unintentionally flinched, again. But when San retreated his hand with an apologetic pout, Wooyoung grabbed his wrist and forced him to put it back on his cheek. He slid his fingers between San’s and leaned into the touch, smiling softly.

“Wow, indeed,” San whispered, his eyes never leaving Wooyoung’s.

He leaned down to press a kiss on his forehead, then on his nose, and then they were kissing again. The night went on and snow kept falling as they continued to taste each other’s lips, smiling dumbly every few seconds, cheeks flushed and hearts beating in unison. Curfew had probably passed a long time ago, but they would never be found there, not in the darkness of the forest, even less in the middle of a snowfall.

“I can’t feel my toes anymore,” San whispered after their nth kiss. His breath was warm, tickling Wooyoung’s skin and making his body tremble.

“Me neither,” Wooyoung quietly admitted. “And the back of my head may have turned into an ice cube.”

“Oh.”

Wooyoung barely had any time to blink. The coldness behind his head suddenly disappeared, replaced by an empty feeling and the next instant he was sitting on San’s lap, legs on each side of San’s body.

“Better ?” San asked softly, his hand already disappearing in Wooyoung’s hair and massaging the back of his head.

Wooyoung could only nod, his eyes naturally falling shut under the gentle attention.

“Should we head back ?”

Wooyoung sighed. He pressed his palms on San’s shoulders and forced his eyes open, meeting San’s.

“Do you want to ?”

“I don’t…”

A pout formed on San’s lips, and Wooyoung couldn’t resist the urge to peck him again.

So he did.

He could do it now. He could kiss San whenever he wanted, any time of the day, for any reason. He was free to taste his lips again and again and again, free to show him how much he loved him. The thought made his heart swell with glee.

He put both of his hands on San’s pink cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. 

“Heating Charm ?” he asked, smiling when the pout instantly disappeared from San’s face, replaced by a knowing smile.

“Heating Charm.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took them long enough !  
> Thank you for reading, see you next Friday 🖤


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